The Curse of King Arthur (Being Rewritten), a Fantasy story | SparkaTale

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The Curse of King Arthur (Being Rewritten)

By: Black Rose of Chaos

Status: Completed

Summary:

For most of his sixteen-year-old life, Augustine “Austin” Cavalier, has led a pretty normal life. Friends, family and attempting to stay awake in class were pretty much his daily life. But when dreams from his past start haunting him again, that's when Austin's normal life does an 180. Now, armed with the legendary sword Excalibur by the Lady of the Lake, Austin has to stop an evil Sorceress from casting our world into darkness before his dreams, become our living nightmare. (Book 1 of The Arthurian Trilogy)

Created: September 6, 2013 | Updated: November 30, 2017

Genre : Fantasy

Language : English

Reviews: 1 | Rating:

Comments: 6

Favorites: 1

Reads: 7263


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Reviews (1)


  • Natalie S. Batey

    As a history buff, I usually stay away from fictions based off beloved legends, but this one is honestly so good. I read the whole thing in one sitting. Though I did see some minor flaws, it's easily looked over with the greatness of the story as a whole. Kudos!

    Rating:
    October 29, 2014 Flag


Comments / Critiques


    • Chapter: 7 Reply

      Chapter no 7 had some repetitions at the beginning and, for some reason, more typos than the other ones.

      Overall, the plot is progressing nicely - I loved how you made Katie a reincarnation of Lancelot, although it seems a bit too coincidental that two reincarnated people would be so close to each other. Anyway, another things that made me nod with appreciation were Katie's fighting skills. I like when women can do more than look pretty and wait for the hero to kiss them. At the moment both Katie and Nimue are more kick-ass characters than Austin (but I still like him). I had doubts about one issue - Katie taking Krav Maga lessons since she was 8. Krav Maga is quite a dangerous sport and causes plenty injuries. I don't think that the parents (or foster parents) would allow a little child to be put in such a danger. Usually people start with Krav Maga over the age of 13.

      Enough with the details, back to the plot. Morgana's minion appeared at the right moment, just in time to save Austin from the awkward explaining. The fight scene was nice. The moments with Katie were okay too, but the scene with Raegan was a bit boring (although her character was feisty - is she Merlin?).

      Currently, I'm waiting for Morgana to appear herself. The minions are fun to meet, but she should show up before I begin suspecting Gran ;-)

      February 3, 2014 | Malgorzata Wyrwas


    • Chapter: 10 Reply

      Technical issues: I noticed that sometimes the last letters of words disappear mysteriously (ask'ed') - I've counted quite a number of such typos. Other than that, it stood out that you like to mention various movies from time to time. It's okay if you do it once or twice, but doesn't look very good when you do it too much. Be careful about the repetitions too.

      I enjoyed Austin's snappy narration a lot and it made me like the main character even more. At first, I found it awfully "coincidental" that Katie was a reincarnation too. However, it seems that all the major characters have ties with Camelot. Actually, guessing who is who turned out to be fun. As soon as Blaine started sprouting prophecies, I figured out, he's Merlin. I'm sure that Reagan is Guinevere. The only person who is out of all suspicion is Gran (although I keep searching in my mind for the characters who could be her "ancestors").

      Finally, Morgana made a serious move - it's good she's a beautiful woman, not a hideous witch. I always thought the villains are more menacing when they're attractive and human-like. The idea with possessing people and the mark was great and very creepy. Using people as mindless puppets surely suits the image of an evil sorceress.

       

      February 3, 2014 | Malgorzata Wyrwas


    • Chapter: 11 Reply

      It was a nice chapter where the characters had time to regain their strenght and catch their breath. I have one question though - who's Caleb? I don't really remember reading about him.

      Other than that one complaint - when you write about Morgana you use the word "evil" often. It's good that you want to emphasize how evil she is, but perhaps you could alter the adjectives (malicious, diabolical, sinister). By the way, I liked how she got described as a "Psycho Barbie".

      As for the plot, I suspect that evil forces will be in offensive soon. I can't brush off the impression that you're not done introducing the characters (Guinevere, right?)... Anyway, a well-done chapter. I'll try to read the rest today.

      February 4, 2014 | Malgorzata Wyrwas


    • Chapter: 12 Reply

      Good pacing - some action after the pervious slow chapter. I liked how Austin's and Raegan's talk sounded suspiciously like flirting. Oh well, things are doomed to get awkward between the two in the near future. The scene with pretending to be a lovey-dovey couple was a bit clichee, but still classic; as a slightly romantic girl I enjoyed it.

      Austin is getting smarter. In his situation I would have Nimue handle the mess too (I mean explaining the Camelot-situation to Raegan).

      As for the danger of being stuck in narrow openings, boys are in less danger than girl. Usually you slide sideways and some of us have boobs that make it difficult - trust me, it's most unpractical in narrow caves.

      I'm wondering why Morgana keeps sending her goons in pairs. If they ganged up on Austin, he wouldn't stand a chance. I suspect that Morgana doesn't have the power to control an army of goons at the same time.

      February 4, 2014 | Malgorzata Wyrwas


    • Chapter: 13 Reply

      Wow, there was even more action in this chapter. What I liked the most, was that you organized a battle with all of the characters - it definitely made the scene more dynamic.

      Okay, I'll give a book review now (it's not complete yet, so forgive me if I jump to conclusions).

      Writing Style

      Overall good.

      Pros: the narration is filled with humor, the descriptions are fine (although I would like the story to have more of those), the vocabulary diversified. I loved the orginal names for the goons (psycho bitch, barbie and others) - it added your touch to the style, it made the writing style stand out.

      Cons: sometimes too many pop-culture references, occasional typos and repetitions - nothing that can't be fixed.

      Characters

      The greatest strength of the book. Austin is likeable, he had his weaknesses, but has many positive traits as well. He's an almost normal human being and it's very easy to relate to him, even for girls I think. The humor his thoughts introduce make the story feel light and the reading pleasant. The supporting characters are very good too, especially the girls. I liked the contrast between Katie and Raegan - one is a fighter and the other one more of a drama queen (but she's smart). Nimue is great, of course. The weakest of them is Blaine, I feel he would use a bit more of development. However, his character isn't dull - it's just the others are outshining him.

      About the characters, the weakest spot in the story is the villain. The idea of a malicious sorceress who wants to stir some trouble is good, but Morgana could use depth. At this point of the book she seems like a piece of cardboard - I can tell about her only that she's evil. It would be nice to show her tendency to manipulate in another way than creating an army of goons or show her reasons. She needs some human traits. Let's take Darth Vader as an example. As Emperor's goon he's boring, but when we find out that he's Luke's father, we become his fans.

      Pacing

      The story is well-paced. It starts slow, but it's not boring. Then there are exciting action sequences and I'm glad that you're not forgetting about the filler in between to let the readers cool off and prepare for another portion of goon fighting - it's necessary to do. If you don't, the readers will begin to yawn during most exciting duels. But, you already know that ;-)

      Storyline

      First, chapter no 1 isn't interesting enough to represent your story in all its glory.

      Other than that, the plot line is fine. At some point it became obvious that all of Austin's friends are from Camelot, but that didn't spoil the fun. The storyline is quite simple and progresses according to the algorithm: discover magical powers - get the team together - beat the villain up. There are some unexpected plot twists at the beginning of the story, but then they disappear. Overall, the characters carry your story. It would be good to think of some plot twist that will make the readers want to scroll back and read again with their eyes popping out ("I'm your father!" gasp!)

      All in all, some aspects of the story may need polishing (that's just my personal opinion), but I enjoyed it. The humor, the dialogs and the characters captured my attention and heart. Well done!

      I hope my critique wasn't too harsh - I tend to be honest to the degree of being bitchy ;-) Anyway, I'll take responsibility of every word of the review. If you have any questions, ask away.

      February 4, 2014 | Malgorzata Wyrwas


    • Reply

      Hey, sorry I'm just getting back to you. Some personal problems on my end, but I'm back.

      I'm glad you enjoyed the story so far and thanks so much for reviews and advice. And trust me, your critique was nowhere near bitchy. I have seen, read and heard bitchy, trust me, nowhere near that.

      I'm taking your advice to heart and I promise, I have some surprises around the corner in the story.

      Thanks again!

      February 6, 2014 | Black Rose of Chaos