Natalie S. Batey | SparkaTale

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  • Joined 10/29/14
  • Last login 03/21/16
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  • Books Authored 2
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Natalie S. Batey's Bio

I love reading! Historical fiction has to be my favorite genre, hands down! 

I'm definitely open to all others though.

I'd love to review any story, or poem, so please feel free to P.M to read yours. I'm usually busy with college but I spend my free days reading the heck out of every story. 

I hope you all have a beautiful day :)

Books

3 0 3 168
Beneath the Tree

6 2 3 189
One day, you know?
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Natalie S. Batey has not written any poems yet.
Reviews
  • Fortune Cookie Monday

    Rating:
    Oh goodness, that made for an interesting read. In the beginning I had been laughing at their antics. Their friendship is so adorable, I really loved the aspect of the story. Near the end though.. it took such a turn I hadn't seen coming. Even though those things do tend to happen in real life, the way you portrayed it was very dark. I'm not going to write what is was, as I don't want to spoil it for other readers, but it was really, really good! That said, I did notice a bit of waning in your tenses. In one line you would write the narrative in present tense, and the next would be past. As well as one mix up in homonyms. Just one though, so it's not a terrible thing. I believe the word you used was hall, what I think you were trying to write was haul. Besides that, I really did enjoy this. I'll add it to my favourites. :)

    Reviewed on: November 14, 2014

  • The Princes and the Dragon

    Rating:
    This story is full of mystery, leaving me to ask question after question, but it's constantly feeding you answers as you continue reading.. The way you approached the narrative is simply genius, the old woman who's telling the tale of The Princes and the Dragon is an absolute mystery on her own, and I can't help but wonder just who she is? Same with how you make the story so immersive for the reader, we're made a character in our own right. We've traveled from a distant land, just to hear the unknown old woman's story. Apparently we're also searching for someone dear to us. I just love the whole vibe you give this tale. It is not just a fantasy, it is adventure and mystery- and I know I've used that word a lot already, but it is. The description makes for amazing images, the characters are simple but have many dimensions, and each chapter is long enough to satisfy me, but short enough to keep me interested. Sure there a few spelling mistakes, but I'm ignoring those because of the great story being told. I want to know what happens next for both Princes, the dragon-girl, and little Thea. Merek is hands down my favourite so far. I wish you'd update this one regularly, but I'm now aware you have other projects in the works. Looking forward for your next update.

    Reviewed on: November 8, 2014

  • Black Allure:The Beginning

    Rating:
    You have a knack for hooking people into your story, I wanted to know more straight off the bat. Keep up the great writing!

    Reviewed on: October 29, 2014

  • Eden

    Rating:
    The amount of detail, and the effort put into creating such a vivid world is simply amazing. Your words are well thought out and so detailed I felt I could see the world myself. This is probably hands-down my favourite story on this site!

    Reviewed on: October 29, 2014

  • The Curse of King Arthur (Being Rewritten)

    Rating:
    As a history buff, I usually stay away from fictions based off beloved legends, but this one is honestly so good. I read the whole thing in one sitting. Though I did see some minor flaws, it's easily looked over with the greatness of the story as a whole. Kudos!

    Reviewed on: October 29, 2014

Comments
  • Blood Trail

    Woo~ This chapter really got my heart pounding. *-* You're amazing at really tapping into the emotional side of your characters as well as making the reader sympathize with them. *-* I salute your ability.

    I absolutely adore Lilith Bane. Her name is cool, she's cool. I'm glad to see her not letting Ben "put her in her place". Her place is wherever she decides. I was practically burning a whole in my couch while reading him go on about how women shouldn't fight -.- And then Lilith put him in his place. I would high five my girl if she were real *-* But then her anger kind of went beyond what I felt. It took a turn and she just kind of delve into insanity for a bit.. a burning, raging, murderous insanity. Someone should take away her weapons. But then the mood lightened, which I'm very thankful for. I laughed when she thought he called her fatso. ^-^

    Good chapter! I found nothing really to tell you it was otherwise. *-* So good~ 

    Commented on: December 22, 2014

  • 'Eamersdr - Dreamers' - A collaboration with Emi Valladarez

    I've had this on my list of things to read on this site for a while, and now I'm finally going to start reading it. ^-^ Quick question though, if I wanted to start reading this series, would I read this one first or.. I saw a 'prequel' one. Do I start there? @-@ 

    Anyway here's my two cents on the first chapter~

    The beginning is good for the most part. It's a bit slow but I guess day-to-day life is like that. The opening paragraph itself is was a great way to nab a readers attention, especially one's who take a shining to fantasy. I think it was also a good portrayal of just what it was that interests the main character.

    For some reason when I was reading through I picked up a Wizard of Oz kind of feel. Like the beginning, where the main character is going through his daily routine that would all be in black and white. And as soon as he goes into his dream world everything floods in color. "Well, Toto.. looks like we're not in Kansas anymore.." 

    Anyway, it was bit slow at parts but it picked up pretty quickly. By the end of the chapter I wanted to read more. And I will, as soon as I finish the rounds of reviewing other books ^-^  

    Commented on: December 22, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    Sorry I've been gone most of the month! I had free time away from college and I spent it going on vacation *-* But I have returned and you can't get rid of me. 

    On to my thoughts on the chapter~

    So first things first. Guinevere. She is sooo cute *-* I love her, seriously. And I love how she almost instantly fell in love with Lancelot. The whole love triangle between her, Ninaine, and Lancelot is super funny. Especially with her confession to Arwen as they ate in the end of the chapter. Arwen and Ninaine seem so lost with how to react. I would to if that happened. She just met Lancelot and hardly spoke to him, but she does seem younger than them.. so I guess she could be all over the place with her hormones, because I'm guessing she's still a teen? 

    I loved the sparring match between Mordred and Arwen. That glare she sent Merlin's way was so funny. So she see's a bit of Merlin in Mordred, hm? Are you trying to tell me something here- or am I looking too far into things?????

    Agravain.. he's a bit slippery, isn't he? I still like him, but I hope he keeps his distance from Arwen's group. Leave the poor babies alone. They're trying to build a Utopia!! 

    Anyway, job well done, Emi~ *-* Expect to hear from me more regularly again. 

    Commented on: December 22, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    Sorry I haven't been commenting. School is keeping a lot of my focus. I finally found some time though!

    Okay, so I really loved this chapter. It's getting more and more political as the chapters go by. I can understand why Arwen seems a bit more timid than usual while in Camelot. Compared to her more care-free type of self in the earlier chapters. She has to watch what she says, and a lot has to be filtered because she must become a Queen. People of the court have to see that too, so it's no wonder she's clinging and depending on Ninaine and Merlin more than usual.

    Agravain is kind of awesome. I know he's kind of playing the villain right now, but I really enjoy it. He's a snake basically. Especially when King Lot and King Pellinore were dying in the chamber floor. I kind of laughed as he did nothing to say goodbye to his father as he bled out, and instead chose to try and paint himself a good guy in front of Pellinore's knights. Which makes me wonder.. does he really love his family? He seems fond enough of Mordred, but I don't know how deep that runs. Even Gawain knows Agrvain can be cruel. Hm.. Good character right there.

    Speaking of Mordred, he seems like a good guy. A real loyal guy, just misguided really. I get jittery when he and Arwen are alone. I basically worry for her safety around him. Like at any moment he'll strike. But that seems really out of character for the way you made Mordred act.

    Last thing I'm saying for this: I feel like you taunted my want of Arwen and Lancelot ending up together with this line "Lancelot felt his breath stolen away at the sight of Arwen in her beautiful velvet dress and her hair so perfectly curled" Ugh. Poor Lancelot, he's so sweet *-* Sigh, such a shame they can't be.

    Commented on: December 4, 2014

  • Blood Trail

    For some reason this chapter invoked more emotion in me than the previous ones. I got really mad on Lilith's behalf when she wakes up to a gathering she hadn't been woken up for. I get that they're afraid of her cause she so stubborn and hot-headed, but to exclude her like that really doesn't help much of anything. Unless they forgot to wake her up (which I doubt) I just feel bad for Lilith as she seems to become more isolated as time passes. 

    I like Ben, he's carries himself like a true Hunter. He has a strong presence, and seems to be as stubborn as Lilith. I'm glad someone's taking initiative. The leader, Adam just seems to be receding into himself. He's timid and hesitant, and seems really lost on how to continue life without Kaya. I'm kind of seeing just how much of a crutch she actually was for him. Lilith doesn't seem as harsh as I thought she was. Her father is the leader, but he's not really stepping up to the plate and doing much of anything ._. I feel bad for the guy, but come on. Get a hold of yourself, your people need you. Your daughter needs you. I'm really feeling bad for Lilith..  I hope she can find some sort of companionship with someone. Preferably Ben. I like Ben. If she doesn't want Ben then I'll take Ben ^-^

    Loving this story so far! 

    Commented on: November 27, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    Mordred??? Oh no, Arwen, run! Leave Camelot!! If Merlin couldn't see his future, that can only mean trouble. This story is slowly taking a political turn. I'm loving the Knights and the court. The differences in the social hierarchy. Arwen has to tip-toe around how she treats her friends in public now, otherwise it'll be considered bad form. Oh man. I'm getting really into this.

     

    Commented on: November 27, 2014

  • The Enchantress and the Rayvene

    This--> *-* is my awestruck face. I really, really loved this!

    First off, your use of vocabulary is amazing. No one word was repeated, your use of words were vast and concise. This was such a smooth read. 

    Your descriptions were spot on, I could see everything you described as clear as day. Especially with the action you wrote. Which you had a lot of. It kept me on my  toes. This was anything but dull. *-*

    You set the tone wonderfully when describing her surroundings. I got nothing but eerie feelings throughout the whole thing, with amazingly ominous undertones. 

    The main character, Kiladra, she is just amazing. She's powerful, and brave, and maybe even reckless? She seemed so desperate to go and save Jarone that she kind of didn't really go in with a plan on how to do it. I loved it, she's very charming. Somehow it all worked out for her, even if her magick reserves ran dry in the end. They made it! 

    I'm not sure if you're going to write more for this story, but please do! That chapter was really good, and to see a full blown story made from such a great set-up you have here would be awesome. The use of mythical creatures was great. And if you do continue this story, I'd love to see Kiladra face off with the Lamia at some point. That would make for the intense read. *-*

    I'm not sure if this was an error I saw, so I'm going to put it out there and if I'm wrong you can correct me :D At the start you had used the word mortales, and when Kiladra had gone to describe the King as such the spelling of the word had been changed to mortalis. I don't know if it was intentional or not. 

    As you can tell, I am just gushing over this. Good job, Nicole! ^-^

    Commented on: November 27, 2014

  • Blood Trail

    I love this chapter *-* You're writing seems to flow so much smoother here. 

    I'm trying to deduce whether or not the dream Lilith had was a sign or not. I know there's nothing supernatural here but I feel like I should be reading more into it. All the hunters that went missing were laying still around them, and her mother who had also gone missing, was alive and standing in front of her. I'm wondering if this is a sign or not? That Kaya actually is alive somewhere out in the forest. I love the mystery. I'm also going to say that the dream sequence gave me goose bumps. So well done there!

    I loved how you introduced Ben. He seems like a straight-forward, no none-sense kind of guy. Something Lilith seems to exactly need. His confidence seems to be much more than Lilith's anger, I hope somehow he can break through that. I feel like he might be the only one who can. Am I getting romantic vibes here? *-* I wouldn't mind. I think they'd suit each other. 

    I felt bad for Lilith's father. Lilith seemed really harsh then, but I know it's just the grief talking ._. I just felt really sad thinking that maybe a lot of the emotional baggage felt could be smoothed over if they just talked properly to each other. But I feel like that won't happen. At least not for a while. Sigh.

    I loved this chapter, and I'll be sure to keep reading when I find more time ^-^ Good job, Tigress!

    Commented on: November 25, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    Okay, it's official. Ninaine is now my favorite. Not only is she really cute and protective of Arwen, she's also really good at acting the part of a loyal servant. I might have been wrong in my judgment of her. Arwen sure did gain a great follower. 

    I loved the very brief conversation the girls had when Arwen was practicing her swordsmanship. That was so adorable. 

    I'm still sad that Lancelot/Arwen won't happen. I really do think they would have done well together, but I think Arwen made the right choice from distancing herself from him. Ninaine is in love with him, and Arwen would rather have two good friends than one lover. ._. such a shame though. 

    I also got a vibe here, when Merlin awoke from his vision and he found his head in Ninaine's lap. Am I looking too far into this, or does something actually happen? Lol. I guess I'll keep reading, but if it is a thing.. I'm iffy on it. But if Ninaine turns out to be who I think she might become.. it'll be pretty accurate. Just don't tell me she imprisons Merlin in a cave for eternity or whatever. Lol. I'll blow my top if that happens.

    I'm also going to say that I'm really excited for Arwen! She's slowly going to form into the Queen she's meant to be! I'm excited!

    Commented on: November 25, 2014

  • Blood Trail

    Incredible start. I usually find the beginning of a story the hardest to read through. They tend to be slow paced, and try to shove every bit of detail they can muster down your throat. Yours was surprisingly well-paced.

    I like the basis of the story, you've set it up in a way where I have a slight idea as to what Lilith will do. At the same time, I'm not sure what's going to happen if she does try to do what I think she's going to end up doing. 

    This is a trivial point I'd like to make but- I really like the last name Bane. It sounds really powerful, like someone you don't really want to cross. 

    I feel sorry for Lilith's father. It's kind of unfair at how she lashes out at him, as he is going through his own grieving process as well. That said, I can also very much sympathize with how Lilith herself is grieving. She seems the type to resort to anger when she doesn't have any other outlet of emotion. Especially when the story is told through her POV.

    You have a great way with manipulating your words to make it flow fairly smoothly. That said, there are a few things I'd like to point out that kind of seemed to disrupt the flow.

    1)"Tonight the announcement will be made officially." This came off a bit awkward to me, I'd like to make a suggestion by simply rewording it to something like -"Tonight the announcement will officially be made."  or "Tonight the announcement will be made official."

    2) "I stop at a clearing where I have a clear view of the sky and instinctively look up." The combo use of the words clearing/clear kind of make the sentence seem a bit repetitive. 

    3) "The moment had reached its point where, if left to continue, it would become emotional, and neither he nor I wished for that." This sentence is fine, it just seems a bit drawn out to me.

    It's obviously just my opinion, so you don't have to change it ^-^, but I hope it helps enhance your already great story.

    Commented on: November 23, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    I'm warming up to Ninaine.. I'm fighting hard against it though. I really enjoyed the banter between Lancelot, Merlin, Sir Bors the younger, and Sir Lionel. Lancelot was "Meh" when Merlin showed his magick, and the others were like "Holy crap!" So funny xD

    Okay, I know you also said I might have some sway in where the romance leans.. and that Lancelot is completely marked off cause he goes and has a thing with a certain lady who may or may not get him banished. *cough cough*, but I am so torn here. I really like Lancelot and Arwen, but then you go and show how cute Merlin is with her too ;__; Why can't she have both? Maybe later chapters will change my mind.

    Commented on: November 22, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    Something about this comment came off as mean-spirited to me.. >__>'' Was it just me?

    I'm going to try to debunk some of what you said here. Keep in mind, I'm no grammar expert..lol.

    "Since this is dialogue it should have these quotations (") instead of just an apostrophe (') " -Apostrophe's are actually quite commonly used when writing dialogue. It is mostly found in British literature though. From reading most of her story, it's kind of clear she's Canadian. She spells words like 'honour' instead of 'honor'. Canada is part of the commonwealth of the UK. So there's no need to correct her for it. It would also be correct if no quotations were used at all. I've seen it done in books before. The only example that jumps to mind right now is 'The Road'. I can't even remember who the author for that novel was o_o. It all depends on the authors writing style really, and how they learned to write. 

    "Also "and" should not be capitalized since it is not the beginning of her sentence but merely a continuation of what she was saying before" -This seems to be a dated way of writing. There isn't exactly a ten commandments of 'How to Write' lol. Thou shalt not start your sentence with a conjunction? Nuh-uh. There are many articles online and magazines stating that it is completely fine to start a sentence with 'em. Even my Proff at school does it. I've also seen them in plenty of novels I've read as well. 

    "Also this paragraph is a bit vague. I'm assuming it meant his mother died, but there needs to be something else here to make it clearer" -It was pretty clear to me what she meant to write? Or am I making it up? Lol. There were a few sentences that subtly hint at it actually. "Back when his mother had lived" and "His simple life becoming a bit simpler without his beloved mother" as well as "as they served a reminder of his mother.."

    "The word "ailed" means sickened but in a literal sense. It should only be used to convey the idea that someone is actually sick with an ailment (or disease)" I kind of thought it could be used both ways? As ailed can also refer to feeling "unwell" or "uneasy". Not taking away from your knowledge of words here, but that's just how I came to understand the word as well. 

    "I...have no idea what you were trying to say here lol" -I understood what she was saying..>_>

    "When I think of the word "gulp" I don't really think you can do that loudly, also if you're describing him as cowardly in that moment I would adjectives like "quietly" and "nervously" ect. I also don't know why it's funny that he "gulped loudly" " -My dad gulps pretty loudly actually. Also, I found it funny when Merlin gulped loudly. Humor is subjective. I think this is mainly where I kind of felt your comment was mean-spirited? That little comment there didn't really have anything to add or help with her writing.. it just kind of seemed like you stomped all over it to be honest. I'm sure there are things you find funny that I don't. If so, I'd never think to say anything against it like that. 

    "You used the phrase "sneaky little minx" to describe Merlin's mother. Minx means a cunning or flirtatious woman." -Again, I think the word minx was used correctly? Maybe the word 'sneaky' she be subtracted from this little equation to make it fit better. When I read it, I sort of thought his mother was cunning in a way that showed she was adept in her skill at reading into things that were happening mainly around her son. In a way, a sixth sense. Of course she could have just used the word cunning, or changed the phraseology all together. I still think it worked. That's the fun in writing though, isn't it? Maybe I'm just stretching it here.. but that's how I see it. Writers should be good at honing their craft, but I also think they should be flexible about how they use it. How else would anyone advance in writing, or find their own style for that matter?

    For the most part I agree with what you said. At some point editing is a must. For now I think she's just focusing on getting out her story. Which is completely fine. Until she labels this story as complete, I refuse to start focusing on anything but the plot and character developments. I found it compelling enough to read passed the errors. Just the things stated above in particular kind of irked me, and I kind of had to put on my super hero cape here and come to the rescue. 

    You seem like a good writer yourself though.

    As for Emi, I love your story so far!!! *-* Definitely reading it start to finish.

    Commented on: November 22, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    I'm iffy on Ninaine.. I feel like her jealousy is going to interfere with the friendship she's created with Arwen. I do like their interactions though. Arwen really needed a girl she could bond with. Now theirs Merlin/Lancelot and Arwen/Ninaine. I like it!

    I'm with Ninaine on one thing though.. I got a vibe from Merlin and Arwen. Are they going to be a thing, or am I just looking too far into it? Same with Lancelot and Arwen, I'm sorry to Ninaine, but I like them together much better than her and him. I guess I'm just not too fond of jealous people. 

     

    Commented on: November 20, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    Yup, yup. I keep repeating myself. This chapter is probably my #1 right now. *-* 

    Lancelot as the becomes the white knight, he forms a connection with his ancestry, he becomes Lord of Joyous Guard. 

    I am currently sighing happily right now, Emi. This is a great beginning to what's probably my favorite character right now. I wish I could pull Lancelot out of the story and claim him for myself. Forget Arwen, I'm completely free.

    Reading more now! 

    Commented on: November 20, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    I'm in love with this *-*

    I love how closely you followed Lancelot's history, one of them that is. You changed just enough to make it your own, your  spin on it is nice. 

    I loved the duo between Merlin and Lancelot here, and how they worked together to fight their way to the castle. Merlin was extremely awesome in using his magick here, and Lancelot was just as awesome with his sword skills. He showed just how adept he is at using swords.

    My favorite part was when Sir Galahaut presented Arondight to Lancelot. Just one thing I should point out- sorry if I come off as prissy here with my historical knowledge > < but the correct spelling is Galehaut or Gallehault. Whichever you'd prefer.

    I still loved this though, *-* I'm only wondering if Lancelot will be able to handle Claudas at this point, especially if he's exhausted, and injured! 

    Commented on: November 19, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    I know I've said this but I really don't like Claudas. I can't believe he would go back on his word,   or maybe I can?? He's just that kind of person. I am interested to see his back story though, unless it's just the same as the one I know. I just figured he would have had some sense of honor, especially with him being a Knight and all. The way he treats people, especially Lancelot, says otherwise thouhg. You can tell he really trusts Sir Galahaut though, so that's something, I guess.. 

    Sorry again for not commenting as often! College life is a hard life, and I've been practicing my writing as well. I have zero ideas for a new story now though, and I have a few days off. So I'll be commenting more frequently~

    Commented on: November 19, 2014

  • Beneath the Tree

    Thanks, I tried. I'm not really good at describing things lol. This one actually gave me a hard time writing, I don't even think I did a very good job at it. The humor was a tough point, too. At first I had to get my head around how to write something sad, and then I had to switch it to something funny. 

    Glad you liked it though, and I'm grateful for your comment, Emi~

    Commented on: November 17, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    Grr... I don't like Claudas. He is such.a.creep. He's obviously good at hiding that thoguh, obviously the people of Dolorous Guard love him. 

    I really like how you portrayed Lancelot's character as well. You solidified his beliefs by him constantly reminding himself just why he suffers. I kind of find it cowardly how he just takes Claudas's constant berating, instead of taking him down. That's just me though, I feel like if it came down for them to get into a scuffle, Lancelot would take him down easily. But I'm only saying that causeI really, really, dislike Claudas. 

    Oh, by the way, I don't know if this was a typo.. and I don't mean to come off as like this crazy history nerd, but you misspelled Ninianne. Or I'm not sure if you did that on purpose. Anyways, I'm off to the next chapter. 

    Commented on: November 15, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    Sorry I haven't been commenting recently. My life got pretty busy really quickly, but I'm back now!! 

    I really liked this chapter, it kind of imagined it like a T.V show, 'yknow? Like this wasthe end of the first season. It ended really well. 

    It was sad to see Ol'Wise and Arwen part way. I like how they never really said good-bye, because they knew it wasn't going to be the last time they saw each other. 

    When Merlin and Arwen received their seals I fist pumped, not going to lie about that. I wondered why you used a triquetra as the cover for your story and now I know. 

    Here's what made this chapter really great---- The mention of Lancelot, AND, the hinting to Excalibur. That one line was all it took to make the chapter so good "Take me up, cast me away" I can't wait till Arwen gets it!

    Commented on: November 12, 2014

  • The Skeleton Hand

    This is like a nightmare being written, I got shivers down my spine. The writing is so simple too, how'd you do that and manage to make it creepy? Good job!

    Commented on: November 10, 2014

  • Black Allure:The Beginning

    Is it bad to say I really want Sylvia and Arnel to end up together? I know what he's supposed to be doing, but still, somehow I feel like it could really work out --- at least i'm hoping it will!!

    Anyways, that feeling of dread Sylvia kept feeling, I can't help but wonder if that's the other half of power that belongs to Arnel? Or is it just her intuition telling her to stay the heck away from him? I can't tell. 

    I really like Arlen's Decia, Anira. She's really quiet, and seems really nice. Will you be delving more into her character/backstory? Or will it just be left kind of vague and open ended? I'm fine with either :D I don't know what it is about Anira, she just seems like a sweet character. Maybe you can make a spin-off novel of her trying to live on earth? That would make for an interesting read, and you already have one loyal reader :) It's just a suggestion really, I still don't know what's going to happen to any of the characters by the end of the story, which is why I should keep reading!

    Might I make a quick suggestion? In the first chapter, everything was really well written, the descriptions, the creating of the world, the information and history given to us about Hemrica. This chapter, which I really did enjoy, don't get me wrong, it was really dialogue-heavy. Not much description was going on, so there's one suggestion on my part. And with how Sylvia spoke sometimes, it sounded really formal, more so than any teen I've ever heard. But yeah! I still love this, and I still think it's really good, so here I go, off to read more!

    Commented on: November 5, 2014

  • Tri-Masters

    OK, how has no one commented? I only just read the first chapter, and I'm in love! 

    You're descriptions are on point, and the atmosphere of the chapter really bled through! I felt this huge air of mystery and an ominous melancholy. I really felt bad for them, just figuring out they died, and trying to remember how. This is great, and it's going straight into my favorites! 

    Commented on: October 29, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    Yes! This is where the action is at! I love how you're combining a bunch of legends and creating one larger, much better one!

    Arwen is amazing!!!!!! Her willl-power is inspiring, I felt myself clenching my mug while she faced-off with the Dearg Due! Merlin was finally able to let go of some of his sorrow regarding the loss of his mother, the little flash-back sequence was so lovely, I litterally found myself saying 'aw'. 

    I feel bad the unicorn had to sacrifice itself in order to defeat the Dearg Due, but I loved how it was able to help Arwen figure out that destiny wasn't just going to hand itself over on a silver platter for her, and that it was something you had to fight for, something you had to want. If there's anything I despise more is when characters are handed everything, all this power just because they're the 'chosen one'. But its not the case for Arwen! You're right, it just keeps getting juicier and juicier as I read!!

    Commented on: October 29, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    Okay, so the climax of this test didn't quite hit the mark for me, but I love how you described the first meeting between Carolan, Merlin, and Queen Onagh. 

    I guess if it ended in a full-out fight between Merlin and the Sidhe, it would kind of leave his devotion for all things magic a little blurred. So the direction you took was kind of the right way to go.. I'm still leaning to a little disappointment for not seeing some action.

    The end.. Okay, this is what made me love this chapter. The song of the Sidhe showed a glimpse into the future on what Arwen and Merlin will truly become. I loved it so much, I have to quote it.

    'To Merlin, and to Arwen,

    Keepers of good faith.

    To the Seer, to the Knight,

    To blessed hero's unscathed.

    To the Warlock, and to the Lady fair,

    To all who would follow, be free from despair.

    To the High Priest, and to the Valiant Queen,

    May destiny guide you, and reveal your dreams..'

    I'm on a Skies of Avalon binge here, and no one can stop me~

    Commented on: October 29, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    Whoa, maybe I was too quick to say anything about your lack of descriptive writing! The way you wrote the terrain as they traveled to the sea was amazing.

    I'm really liking how they're getting all buddy-buddy now. They're still a little back-and-forths between them, but it looks more like friendly banter between them.

    I'm starting to see the story unfolding here, there tests are slowly being fulfilled! What really got me was Carolan's song about the King Sidhe! It gave me goosebumps, and I also saw how great of a poet you can be. 

    Maybe after you finish the novel, you can write a book of poetry? I'm getting hooked now, I need to grab some tea first, and then I'll continue reading!

    Commented on: October 29, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    Okay, chapter two seemed to be lacking something. I don't know, it was a little stale in comparison to ch.1. I want to agree with the review, and say that their was a bit of a lack in description of MerryVale.

    That being said, Arwen seems like a real fighter. Even if she's only ever been a Pig Keeper and seller of bread. She has this happy-go-lucky attitude about her, and she seems like a really easy going character. I really like her all in all. 

    I'm eager to see how the Merlin-Arwen duo evolves, it seems to me like there's gonna be a lot of head butting going on! It'll be hilarious. 

    Commented on: October 29, 2014

  • Skies of Avalon

    As a history buff, I always have to go in with an open mind when reading renditions on such beloved legends. You pleasantly surprised me with the opening of the story. It was well written, and left on a tiny cliff hanger, and it made me want to continue reading! I love how Merlin is written, he seems like a complete grouch if I'm being honest, but it's not a bad thing. I actually found it hilarious how sarcastic he was when dealing with Morgase, Viviane, and Morgain. He's really snarky, like an old man in a young guys body. 

    Commented on: October 29, 2014

  • Ametris

    Love, love, love the opening! The characters are well made as well, I find myself sympathizing with how they feel a lot! Great story! 

    Commented on: October 29, 2014

  • Black Allure:The Beginning

    First chapter got me really hooked already! Looking forward to see how the story unfolds!

    Commented on: October 29, 2014