Sparkatale

Damn, that was, wow. Kinda sums up love pretty well and the depressed feelings and utter brokenness it causes. Well done. I liked how it was impossible to tell if the narrator was a male or female- it was nice to see how it could go either way, as these types of feelings both genders usually go through.

I found one little error- instead of having "I know" you had "I now."

One litter error is nothing to fret about. I think that, although short, it was a very fine short story, The emotions were captured on key and overall very relateable.

I just noticed I spelled relatable wrong in my last comment. oops. Wasn't paying attention, arguing with a friend over something. Although the negative, heartbroken feel is kind of a downer this is probably relatable to almost every single person who reads it in one way or another. There's all little bits and pieces we can pick out and relate to in this one and the last. so far I'm enjoying these and how beautifully they're written.

I didn't find any errors this time, and the last one was just small and hardly worth nagging over. So far I'm very impressed.

Thanks for your reviews, I really appreciated them. I'm happy that you enjoyed them.

Wow, quite a few of your paragraphs are huge imitating masses! Not at all easy or encouraging to read!

Wow, That comment is really discouraging for someone new to this site. Was there anything at all that you liked or were you so overwhelmed by the fact that there was a mass of thought that you couldn't actually read it? Please let me know, but keep in mind that this series of stories isn't at all supposed to be like average short stories, hence why it's only dialogue and thought. I tried to get into the head of the character who has the 'unsaid words' and so I purposely did the massive paragraph(s), because I know that many people do not organize their thoughts into well-planned paragraphs and so I tried to make it seem realistic to ones thoughts, which are sometimes an incomprehensible mass. I'm truly sorry if you didn't like this, some chapters do not have these masses at all. If you'd like to read something a little more structured, then my other book is of actual short stories. I would hope that you could appreciate the effort I put into that collection of stories and perhaps provide me with some constructive criticism about what worked for you and what didn't specifically. Thanks for taking your time to read (if you did, I'm not entirely sure based on the discouragement you felt) and thank you for reviewing.

Wow.  That was more than a little short, but since that was in your description I shouldn't be surprised.  The middle paragraph reminds of a last will and testament description, like the author was pouring his last words into his message.  That was strong.