Sparkatale

I was just looking back at some of these comments, and I noticed you calling Levi comical, that's something my main editor aka my english teacher told me. In the current draft of X, I'm actually making a lot of changes, and one of the changes I'm making is making Levi a lot less comical, and you already know he's the killer, but I'm also going to leave the reveal that he's the killer till the end, not showing his killings. WHen I'm done with the hopefully final draft, hope you'll read it.

you are aware that Back to the Future is an already existing name for a work of media right?

I haven't started posting it yet. Because I want to finish at least the fourth chapter first. And I have a bit of writers block.

It's called Pokemon Omega Ruby, However I've had a bit of writers block so I haven't done much for it yet, But trust me, I'm trying, I think I'm on Chapter three right now.

I love pokemon so I might read this some time later, and as a result maybe  you could give my pokemon adventure story a look. what do you say?

Honestly, I don't really like reading, so I don't know if I'll get to it right off the bat.

Anyways, Everything I do in my stories has a reason as to why I do it. also, why do you keep referring to Michael as Miguel? Either way, Michael is meant to be pretty dumb actually, Like a child in a man's body.

And I don't go into much detail on New York, because they're only gonna be there for 2 chapters out of 15. And New York isn't all that important to the plot.

Multipul different thoeries? What were some of the others.

and on a side note, I plan on having another story at some point where Six is the main character, however, I'm not gonna state weather it's before or after the events of X that way I don't give too much away.

Woo Hoo!

I'm glad you liked it, It's my fave chapter.

Also, if you don't mind me asking, who's your fave character so far?

Well, seeing as the title of the story is literally the roman numeral for Ten, meaning the story is called Ten, anybody could have figured out that there were gonna be more characters,

anyways, the next chapter you'll read is probably my fave in the whole story.

Okay, I think that is a good suggestion, In the next draft, I'll be sure to change that.

And I'm not trying to make the characters comical.

Anyways, I'm glad you liked the chapter.

Okay, good thanks.

So far, what are some good things about the story?

I had a reply done, but then my computer decided to die before I could post it, so I'm just gonna give the short version to save time.

Friends and teachers say I'm amazing with diologue, Gonna go with what teacher says.

Not final draft, nothing is completely done yet.

Teacher is gonna read it some time august, he'll give me feedback too.

I'm listening to everything you say, but I'm more likely gonna go with what my teacher says.

The first challenge was meant to be easy.

and even though it seems like you're not liking the story, please stay with it, trust me, it get's better as you go on.

Well, as you said, introducing characters and stuff like that.

And it's not suppose to be very threatening, it's really is someone talking to them, just prerecorded.

When Zed is the one who started talking, then it's suppose to be threatening, but that doesn't come till later.

Good Night to you, and also, if you'd actually make covers for me, that'd very nice, unless I have to pay for them.

Well, I don't know how to use it either. perhaps you can help me or maybe? I don't know.

Photoshop? Darn, looks like no detailed covers for me. extra words so that I have more than ten words.

Before I start reading this whenever I get to it. How were you able to make such a good cover photo for it? I'd love to do that for my stories.

We'll see. I'm working on other stories right now, so I won't be doing much with this X until My English teacher reads it and reviews it.

You make some pretty good points, And I wasn't aware that electric fences made noises. I guess that's my own stupidity right there.

Yeah, the story's called Keep Smiling. it takes place after X 2. I'm going to start writing it when I finish X 2. Also, Jewel does mature a bit as time progresses. I think at least. anyways, I hope you enjoy the story as it moves along.

I don't think you're that harsh, my english teacher is pretty harsh, even when he really likes the stuff I write. I'm use to having harsh feedback actually. Believe it or not, this is actually the third draft of X. The first draft is god awful compared to this.

I assure you, I'm taking everything you say into account. and I must say that you're views on Jewel are not shared by anybody else, so far at least. Also, Michael is actually meant to be pretty Stupid. And again, I also kind of want jewel to be a contradiction, because that will be what gives one of my characters (in a different story, all of these my stories take place in the same universe) Gives one of my characters his main reason to want to kill Jewel. He sees her the same way you do, and he hates her for it. That's why he wants her dead.

Well, one thing to keep in mind is that this is just the first chapter. and also, most of my writing style comes from my english teacher's teaching me. He always told me to make sure physical description is quick. Also, This is just a small nitpick. but when you were talking about the eyes. it's very likely that you meant some other character's eyes. but if you did mean jewels eyes, her eyes are actually red and not blue. this is because she's albino.

Don't worry though, I know X starts off pretty slow, and I do agree that a lot of things could be done better, but trust me, the story get's better as it goes on.

Also, the whole smartest person also being adolescent or whatever you said. That's actually intentional. You see, jewel's actually 18 years old at this time, and she actually never really took the time to act like an adult, because she breezed though school so quickly. She's always loved doing things that kids do such as playing video games and stuff like that.

Why are all the vowels lowercase and the consonants uppercase? Just wondering.

Memento Mori, If I'm correct, I think that means Remember you will die, or  remember your mortality or something like that. I also wonder if you are an aksys games fan.

You've got the memento mori which I know from Zero Escape, Virtues Last Reward. and your name is Gluttony Fang, which is something related to Yuki Terumi from Blazblue.

I like the title name of this book story whatever you want to call it.

Dang, you took the title I was planning on having for a creepypasta that I'm working on. Ah well, I could just change it to One of Them.

At first I was like, WOW, THAT'S A LOT OF CHAPTERS, but then I saw that they were all really short.

I knew he looked familiar form somewhere. I'm a big fan of Blazblue, so I got all nerdy when I saw it.

I would suggest anything other then those two, Don't look hasn't been touched in a long time, and To Be Dead is kind of stupid as of right now, If I would recomened any of them, I would say either Alphabet Hunter, Sky Night Lights, or X

This is turning out to be a pretty cool story.

I'll continue reading sometime later.

Congratulations, you have been randomly selected for me to read your story. As soon as a saw that it was romance, I was like, why does all of my random selections turn into romance novels, either way, this is going up high on my to read list.

If your interested, you could read one of my stories at random as well.

When I finish your book, I will be planning on reviewing it.

So it seems like some signs are pointing to a gaylationship. I'm fine with that as long as there aren't any gay sex scenes, or any sex scenes for that matter. I feel like sex ruins a good story.

I find Cole to be very unlikable, at least right now.

Even if this turns out to have them be gay, I'll still read it.

I immediately fell in love with James. Now one small concern i have, Now I'm not homophobic or anything, but I'm kind of hoping that It's not Cole ends up with James, not only would that be a very bad match, considering Cole is a jock, and James seems to be a nerd (And nerds are awesome!) Not to mention Nerds and Jocks don't really mix. So I'm hoping that some female love interest happens down the road.

I think this story is interesting so far, and I think I might actually end up enjoying reading it. I might end up reading it religiously.

Maybe you might be interested in reading my romance novel. It's called Sky Night Lights. If you chose to read it, I would love some feedback.

Listen, I usually hate romance stories, but since I'm writing one, I thought, maybe they aren't as bad as I make them out to be. So here's what I'm gonna do, I told myself I would read the first romance story that I find of SaT. to see if the genre isn't as bad as i think it is. not to mention, if I read it, I'll be the first one to do so, so that'll be an accomplishment.

This kid on the cover looks kind of like Carl Clover, from Blazblue.

I can tell by the title that this story is going to be good.

That title basically summarizes my love life. forever alone yes indeed.

Based on the summery, I'm gonna say that it reminds me of Zero Escape, but instead of nine people you've got thirteen.

I also have a similar set up for a story. Mine even has a number name. Mine is X (Ten) Guess how many people are in that. Instead of special powers, my characters are Criminals.

It's all good, It's a short story so i have no problem reading it, But I'll actually read it when I'm not as busy as I am now, I was just checking it out real quick because the picture and title intrigued me.

Isn't Micheal a boy name? It's just another way to spell Michael, maybe were you going for Michelle?

I find is kind of funny how the Prorogue is the longest out of everything else

I'm putting this on my to read list.

Based on the discription, I know I'm gonna like it.

It's all good in the hood.

I haven't quite gotten to reading the book yet, but it's on my to read list.

I've just been busy doing other things.

Whoa, those are short chapters, that means this will be easy to read, I always like that in a book.

It's no problem at all.

I have a propose to make to you, Maybe we could critique each others books?

You of course don't have to, but If you critique my book, Shinda Yo Ni Suru Ni Wa(To Be Dead) I would gladly critique yours, I might still critique your book even if You don't do mine.

According to death battle, Spiderman would win, yet somehow Batman would lose to Spiderman, but not captain America.

Also, congratulations, you managed to write a story that actually interests me. That's not easy, for I am a very picky reader. I look forward to continue reading this story.

The cover reminds me of something from bionicle, which is a good thing.

Well, I was wondering something, and since you're the first person I've really said... um... typed at on SparkaTale, I guess I'll ask you.

Now feel free to not, but I wanted to know if maybe you could critique the novel I'm working on. It's called to be dead. I've been wanting for someone to critique it, and I've had no luck.

Again, feel free to not, but If I never try to ask anyone, then I'll get nowhere.

Ah, I see.

I guess I should have figured that by the chapter names.

Is it V as in the letter V, or is it V as in five?