Sparkatale

I would love to try and read this more, but the formatting kind of bugs me. I want to read it, it sounds like an interesting story but the formatting is all one long paragraph. I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm sure more would be willing to read it if the formatting was a bit different. Just a little, hopefully, helpful advice. I do wish to read it though, it's just hard to.

I agree. The formatting is a big rough. I wanted to read it but the giant blocks of text turned me away. If you were to split it up in more manageable paragraphs it would be better.

Okay. I'll will keep that in mind when i upload and edit my previous chapters. Thank you for the comment. :)

Kalley.

I'm really sorry to say this, but I had to stop reading after the third chapter. It's not your fault, but I'm pretty meticulous when it comes to grammar, spelling and the correct use of commas and full-stops. There were many, many errors throughout, lots of misspelt words and putting full stops where there was no need to. This immediately turns people off of your work, the equivalent of placing a gun towards your right foot. That needs to be taken care of if you hope to improve in the long run. On a positive note, your ambition to write (clearly evident from the sheer number of chapters you wrote) is admirable, and that drive will only allow you to get better. For now, however, you need to 1. Find a beta to look over your work BEFORE you publish, in order to minimize errors and mistakes. 2. Use a platform that will highlight when you spelt a word wrong. (I write on Sparkatale myself, and it always highlights a word I've misspelt.) 3. Look at other works, both on here and even in a bookstore, and pay close attention to how authors write their sentences (particularly what I mentioned earlier such as commas and full stops). I know I sound horrible for writing this, but these were issues I had when I first started, and I was told on what to do to become better and improve. I hope I helped in some small way!

Danny,

Thanks for the comment. I've know for a while that I suck at spelling and grammar and I really have been trying to fix it. I will take your suggestions and see if i can find ways to help me catch the problems I'm having and fix them. Thank your for the compliment. And I am sorry that you were not able to make it past the third chapter.

-Kalley