Status: In Progress
Summary:
Created: March 23, 2015 | Updated: November 27, 2015
Genre : Fantasy
Language : English
Reviews: 0 | Rating:
Favorites: 5
Reads: 977
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Very interesting story so far! I can't wait to read it after you update. :) I hope you do it soon, I'd very much like to know what happens.
I really enjoy these kinds of stories, where they just pull you into it. Amazing, you authors do.
May 13, 2015 | Suzuki Yamaguchi
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I was practically choking with laughter after the first (second) chapter, and although a fair amount of it actually came from what you wrote (it was awesome), most of it came from Princess Alara.
You see, I am a fan of Magic: the Gathering, and there's a place (a dimension) called Alara in it.
But then I searched the internet:
Bing: https://www.bing.com/search?q=Alara&qs=n&form=QBRE&pq=alara&sc=9-5&sp=-1&sk=&cvid=6cbf92d77a814e058702f6f32fbcea4b
Google: https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=Alara
Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alara
...
It seems not everything goes as planned. You named a princess either for a medical acronym regarding radiation or an in-game expansion. Now, whenever I read about Princess Alara, I feel the strange urge to laugh, for I always think "As Low As Reasonably Achieveable."
This doesn't detract from the story, though. I liked the two chapters that I read, and I hope you don't give up on this story (as I have done way too many times in the past).
Keep writing. Please.
August 6, 2015 | Alorzen Pseudonym
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Chapter: 2 Reply
Very, very impressed with what I'm reading here, to be perfectly honest. You have a way with words few other authors have on this website, and it instantly reminds of the works of Christopher Paolini. You've given readers everything they needed to enjoy this chapter - you paint the geography and the setting rather well, the characters are believable and the strategies of placing the coronation elsewhere were sound and we'll - thought out. It usually takes one chapter to make or break a story for me, this really didn't disappoint. I noted one little curiosity, however. (Behind her, she heard footsteps rushing behind her. She didn't bother to look behind her; she already knew who it was. She sped up her horse.) There was no need at all for the second 'behind her' while you could change the third time to 'She didn't bother to look behind.' If you wished. But honestly that was just a simple error - easily erased!March 26, 2015 | Deleted User
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Also apologies for the spelling mistake in my comment. I'm typing on my phone you see!March 26, 2015 | Deleted User
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Thanks so much for your comment! I'll be sure to go back and fix that error. Sometimes when I'm writing, I get so engrossed in just getting the story written that I forget about little things l like that, and it tends to get worse as the chapter nears the end.
March 26, 2015 | Hannah Sullivant