Sparkatale

Okay, so I before I get to the nitty gritty grammar errors, I'll do a runby of what works in this story's favor. The writing was nice and descriptive and the story's plotline sounds fairly original, but as far as the first chapter goes that's really about it. I just found it difficult to get past the grammar and spelling errors because the sentence fragments and other aspects made for a shaky read. For example- "Kayden missed the country area he had grown up in for one specific reason. Reason being cause he could sit in the open fields in the night air" When you put a period there it inturrputs the flow, and the sentences would have sounded better as one. For example- "Kayden missed the country area he'd grown up in for one specific reason- he could sit in the open fields in the night air." You have sentences like this a lot and there's a few typos that can be fixed with proofreading, like you said "rapid" instead of "rabid" when describing the animal across his neck. I hope this wasn't too harsh, because honestly I like the story and it has a lot of potential, but tweaking and editing would really harness more of that. ^^

I'm not quite sure if this was your goal, but I laughed quite a bit in that first chapter. That tea latte-women analogy? Amazing! So vivid and hilarious. (Do men really view women in that way? Huh...) And then some lady randomly smacks Kayden in the head? I think I died. 

Great start, though a few minor errors. In the last line, I think you meant to write "Kayden's" instead of "Kaydens." Also, the quotation in the line:

Kayden very often did forget his glasses though "by accident he kept telling himself".

Should be around just the word "accident." 

Those were some really picky things... So nice job on your first chapter! Keep going. I'm very interested in seeing how the random smack-in-the-head event will unfold...

Thank u well I didnt intend to at first but I think I just have a quirky writting style in genral and it just kinda suited the books theme :) and yea im working on some more chapters so hopefully u like them. Thanks for the comment :)