Sparkatale

I don’t know much about poetry, so I apologize in advance if this review isn’t very helpful. I really liked how you described the woman in the poem, she seemed very mysterious and intriguing. After reading this poem, I’m kind of thinking of how people can love someone who they don’t really know beyond looks and the atmosphere that surrounds them, and by doing so they create a personality and expectation of what they would be like to talk to… Sorry if that doesn’t make sense, it’s probably nothing like what you thought when writing it, but I thought I’d share my thoughts with you anyway :P

Thanks for reading and reviewing!
I've never thought about it that way before but I definitely see what you're saying. I guess you're right that the man knows almost nothing about her but still puts her above every other person. Great insight, this is probably one of my favourite things I've ever written and I never saw that before so thanks!

Wow, that was creepy >.< I must admit, I didn’t expect that ending :P I really love all the descriptive language you used, it made it really easy to imagine the setting and characters. I’m curious about how Stacy died, after reading this I’m kind of thinking that Charlotte killed her by accident, or maybe it was out of anger… And she sees Daphne as representing herself, so that’s why she blamed her for Stacy’s death at the end. I’m probably completely wrong :P

I was a little confused by the last few lines, I wasn’t sure if it meant the doctor was going to destroy Daphne or kill Charlotte (or both, or something completely different :P)

Hey, thanks for reading and reviewing.Ya, it's a creepy one. I wrote it for a contest in my program. Stacy slipped in the pool and Charlotte pulled her out. I doesn't explicitly say it so it makes sense if you were a little confused, but you mostly had it right, especially about Daphne. As for the end,the doctor cut's Daphne's string. Is that hard to get from that? Ie. should I make Charlotte see him actually cut the string?

Thanks again for reviewing, I really appreciate it. :D

No, I think it's fine the way it is. Now I look back on it, it was obvious that was what he was doing XD

I read the first chapter, or poem, too, but I can't critique poetry. Never wrote it and hardly ever read it, so I wouldn't waste your time talking about something I know next to nothing about. I feel like it went a little over my head, too.

As for this story, well, I loved it. I always find insane characters very interesting to read about, especially ones with blood on their hands. The descriptions of what Charlotte did to the nurse and Stacy's death were very well done- gritty, dark and bloody, the exact way they should have been.

You did a really good job of writing the crazy character, especially given the circumstances of the ending. I really didn't expect that- I assumed she was just a little banged up, not a flat out schizophrenic. One of the best short stories I've read in a while!