Status: In Progress
Summary:
Thyra's life is going horribly wrong. One moment it's all normal, and the next her whole world has changed. Everything is turned upside down as she's dragged up and down the countryside by a man she'd rather kill than travel with. As if that wasn't bad enough, she becomes plagued by strange omens and monsters, her past no longer protection against the evil invading the world. Darkness is preparing for the final assault, so what does it want with Thyra, a girl who never meant anything?
In a world where fairy tales are real, stories woven into the fabric of the world, Darkness is growing stronger. There is one meant to keep the darkness at bay, named the Teller's Heir. But they're dead. Gone. A solution must be found, before time runs out.
Created: September 25, 2013 | Updated: March 14, 2015
Genre : Fantasy
Language : English
Reviews: 0 | Rating:
Favorites: 4
Reads: 1592
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| 1: | Prologue | 500 |
| 2: | Chapter One | 6282 |
| 3: | Chapter Two | 7265 |
| Total Wordcount: | 14047 |
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Comments / Critiques
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Chapter: 2 Reply
There are a few things that I want to point out, but first and foremost I would like to commend the sheer length of your chapters. It takes detication to write such an amount per chapter, and it was the first thing I noticed. However, I felt that the very length of said chapters work against you. Obviously this is subjective - and other people would argue my case and they would be right - but for me my concentration span wasn't enough to read this all in one go. There were some grammar and spelling errors throughout your chapter, and I can honestly say that on this particular chapter, you need to work on detail. It took more than 1000 words for me to realize that the protagonist was a girl. I was also confused about Magmun's age. I had assumed that they were the same age, childhood friends, but it seems more of a mentor/student relationship. There was also a lack of description of the environment throughout this chapter, particularly at the beginning of the chapter. I guess simply more effort needed in describing the world around the characters - as well as the characters themselves and fixing up the spelling and grammar - and your chapters will improve dramatically. I'm not a perfect writer myself, and I regularly suffer from the mistakes I pointed out. It's just looking at other people's work and discussing our respective work that will help us improve!March 25, 2015 | Danny Power Hallihan (Dormant)
