Sparkatale

Chapter One

Wow, what an intriguing and thrilling first chapter! I like the premise of this very much, and your writing is fantastic. With such descriptive and visual writing I had no problems becoming fully immersed in the story, which evolved at a nice pace with revealing bits of Helm and Arcadia before jumping into that exciting conclusion that has left me wanting more.

Helm has certainly found himself in a fascinating new school. Arcadia definitely has wonders and secrets, and the Celestial Program seems to be at the forefront of all that intrigue.

Serena was a compelling character the moment she appeared, but the unexpected events that transpired in Helm's dorm room have left me utterly amazed by her, not to mention the teasing bits of info Helm discovered while hacking.

Great storytelling!

You've got a nice start to your tale here in chapter one. Great job of endowing the royal family with very regal qualities. The king, queen, and their three sons certainly seem as if they are of royal blood.

King James and Queen Ella share an endearing affection for one another, and the three sons each have unique personalities that are illustrated nicely by their actions and comments. Good job there.

It seems the reputation of the neighbouring kingdom is less than pleasant in the eyes of King James' monarchy, which will surely put the young girl from Jinnah at a disadvantage. No doubt she will have a difficult time winning them over, if she seeks to that is.

Good storytelling :)

Thanks so much for reading Zaineb, and your comment is very encouraging :)