Sparkatale

You've got a nice start to your tale here in chapter one. Great job of endowing the royal family with very regal qualities. The king, queen, and their three sons certainly seem as if they are of royal blood.

King James and Queen Ella share an endearing affection for one another, and the three sons each have unique personalities that are illustrated nicely by their actions and comments. Good job there.

It seems the reputation of the neighbouring kingdom is less than pleasant in the eyes of King James' monarchy, which will surely put the young girl from Jinnah at a disadvantage. No doubt she will have a difficult time winning them over, if she seeks to that is.

Good storytelling :)

Thank you so much for your kind words! I was a bit in doubt about the beginning but now I feel better, thank you! 

Interesting premise. I like your take on royalty; the beginning reminded me a bit of Louis XIV, who called himself "Sun God" and had his servants brush his teeth for him... Also love that the Queen and King share equal respect for each other; that is something that doesn't happen often enough.

Anyways! Just a few formatting issues and such... Is english your first language? I was just wondering; don't mean any offense. The writing is quite nice, but I was wondering why you were using 'apostrophes' instead of "quotation marks."

Also, some of the paragraphs are a bit long. It is easier to read when the paragraphs are a bit smaller--like one or two main ideas per paragraph. That is easily fixable, as there are many paragraphs you could definitely split into two or three. 

Plot has a lot of potential! I laughed when you said the King hugged his sons in "chronological order." Original description! I like it.

So keep going! Don't doubt yourself and write! I really wish I had more bravery in posting my writing... Don't learn from me! I really think this story can turn out great with some tweaking here and there. 

thank you very much for your comment and I will keep it mind. Honestly, no English is not my first language but I am not sure it the apostrophe is a proof of that. I am a university student and I am told that in quation marks are more an american way. I used to use marks as Danish also uses this sign but because of university I have tried to train myself to use apostrophe. However, I will have the rest in mind. Once again, Thank you very much!