Sparkatale

Well, first, thank-you very much for taking the time to read, evaluate, and so carefully review Desert Princess; I'm also very glad you enjoy the idea for it.

You are probably right with all the astericks; this story is also on another site, fictionpress.com, where such author's notes and definitions are pretty commonplace, at least so far as I've seen. I probably don't need all of those, especially not the name meanings (that's just something I have a great interest in, but I do understand how it might be unnecessary) though I think perhaps some should stay, perhaps as, like you said, footnotes or a glossary at either the beginning or end of the book.

As for the present tense: I do see what you mean, about the connection between the past tense and things that have happened in the past. I don't usually do many works IN the present tense, I just thought I would try my hand at it in this story (though now I suppose I should have done a story set in modern times), but I have always seen and heard and read that a writer must keep the tense the same from when she/he has started it, excluding, I suppose, flashbacks. I do apologize if it bothers you that much; I'll think about revising that part, but I feel the tense, if I have, presumably, used it correctly and consistent all throughout the story, is fine as it is.

I will greatly consider revising what I have due to your suggestions, and again I thank you for feeling enough about Auset and her world to help set it straight. I might not get to it soon, but I will look into it. Thank-you.

Best wishes,

Elizabeth M.

This is a very interesting concept, and I enjoy the different nature deities, and Fred's awesome. A few grammar mistakes sprinkled about, but not too bad. And maybe you could delve a little more into Chase's thoughts and relationships with his co-workers, but otherwise great story and I'm looking forward to what's next