Sparkatale

This is really fun. I only have time right now to read the first chapter, but I intend to finish this. One thing to work on for future chapters is keeping your tenses all the same. There were maybe two or three points where you had a sentence in present tense while the rest was in past tense. I would also maybe take a little more time getting Chase's reaction before the other person appears demanding he find's winter's replacement. Maybe let him work a little and have her come at the end of the day. Then it wouldn't feel so rushed.

Thanks for the feedback! Darn, I thought I caught them all. I originally wrote Episode 1 in 1st person/past and changed it to present to match how the rest of the story would progress. I must have missed a few! >_< I'll adjust those on my edit copy, along with the reaction timing at the end of Episode 1. In the mean time, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Tenses should be mostly stable from this point onward. Thank you!

Chapter two was really funny. I loved it. I would maybe put some of your sentences together into bigger paragraphs, but I didn't notice really anything else in terms of editing. Nice work. Hopefully will read chapter 3 soon :)

This is a very interesting concept, and I enjoy the different nature deities, and Fred's awesome. A few grammar mistakes sprinkled about, but not too bad. And maybe you could delve a little more into Chase's thoughts and relationships with his co-workers, but otherwise great story and I'm looking forward to what's next