Sparkatale

Hi there! I'll let Claire do most of the talking as this is entirely her work. I, Serina, had nothing to do with putting this together. Well, other than the obvious role that I played :/ That'll be why, as you say, it has a different weight to it. I didn't write it. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for the kind words. I'm quite glad to hear you've enjoyed my work in the past and thanks for taking a look at Claire's first foray into writing. She's nervous for a number of reasons. I'll hand you over to her now. 

Hi Claire. I’ve thought long and hard about what to say here. This was really emotional and well written too. I especially felt the last few lines. I’ve felt that way before, about how I should have known something was wrong with friends going through mental health problems/suicide attempts in the past, and I can only imagine how much more difficult it is with a partner/spouse. I hope you’re doing ok and thank you for sharing this with us.

Hi, thanks for reading this. I appreciate you taking the time to think about what you wanted to say as well. Difficult, I'd imagine, with this kind of subject matter. I'm very sorry to hear you know what this feels like, although it is comforting to find someone who understands. It's a pretty shitty feeling, isn't it? For ages I couldn't stop going back and thinking about how on Earth I hadn't realized how miserable she was. I mean, we've been best friends for 16 years. You'd think I'd have noticed. The thing is, she didn't want me to see it. She worked her ass off to make sure I never did, that no one did. The thing that scares me now is that even though she seems better, how can I ever really be sure? I guess that's a discussion for another time and place, eh? 

This was such a powerful chapter. I know you’ve said you’re not a writer, but it’s hard to see that reading this chapter. It was so beautifully written and the contents were really moving all the way through. Especially those final few paragraphs. It’s so true that we can never know what’s going on in someone’s head, no matter how close we are. I’ve had to learn that the hard way a few times too, so the ending resonated particularly strongly with me. Empathy and kindness are so important but so often we seem to forget that :/ Anyway, sorry for rambling on a bit haha. And sorry for taking so long to read this, by the way.

Hi there, thanks for commenting on this. And thank you for the compliment! Serina says the same thing all the time, trying to convince me to write more, but I suppose I find the idea of fiction like you and she do very intimidating. With this, I don’t feel it’s really writing as much as it is just sharing memories and things that I felt. There’s no crafting of a story, it’s just a retelling of actual events. So I'm not sure I could manage anything like what you and Serina do. It looks really difficult. Regardless, I appreciate the kind words :)

I’m glad you enjoyed it, particularly the last few paragraphs. The rest was just a bit of a lead in to what I was thinking about at lot over the days and weeks afterwards. The ending was the point of this one, because like you just said empathy and kindness are very important, but how quickly we forget. That billboard struck me like nothing else ever has. And it really is true. Serina and I talked about that not too long before I saw that billboard. She said until you reach the point that you are actually prepared to end your own life, you can’t understand what that feels like. It’s not something that someone who’s never been to that place can rationalize. I mean, I never would have dreamed in a million years that she was so miserable that she would do something like that. I never for a split second considered it. I genuinely thought she was happy, so to discover I was so completely wrong was quite… shocking feels too mild a word, but it’s 1am and it’s the best I’ve got. I’m very sorry that you’ve had to learn a similar lesson in the past :( I truly hope that everything turned out okay in the end in those situations. Personally, I don’t think I’ll ever truly get over it myself. It’s been over two years and I still wake up in the middle of the night sometimes thinking she’s gone and have to reach next to me just to remind myself that she’s still here. Then I spend the rest of the night holding onto her because I’m afraid if I let go she won’t be there the next time. I thank God or whoever might be out there listening every day for just how lucky I got. Eh, I should stop. Now who’s rambling :P

Oh, and I almost forgot! Thank you so much for the congratulations and your blessing on, you know, the other thing ;) I’m sure she’s already said it, but I wanted to as well :)