Sparkatale

Welcome back!

You re-uploaded this, so I decided I would go through the story again (because it was years since I last read it) and the first thing I noticed was that you are incredibly descriptive; from the actual world he is in, to the emotions Merlin feels. You write about all the characters senses really well, when he hears the Goddesses voices, to what he sees when they appear before him.

The characters of Merlin and his Mother (even in her short time in the novel) are fleshed out pretty well, and you set the tone for the rest of the novel all in one go. I'm looking forward to reading more!

Thanks, it's good to be back!

The hiatus was necessary I think, I came back back to the story with a clearer mind. There was a lot to clean up with this story, and I'm hoping I did just that! Thanks so much for checking it out again and the critique.

I'll definitely be reading more of your work as well!

I know I've probably already said this, but I really like the way you write. It really lends itself to fantasy quite well, and it's different from the usual 'They did this, and then they did this, and then they said this'  that most people use.

The opening chapter starts off quite well, and a lot happens in it, we get the backstory for Cara and Unna. It's quite tragic to see what happened to Cara, losing her family and under the control of this woman. It interactions between herself and Merlin were really well done as well, especially once he was thrown into the actual fight.

Unaa in particular surprised me, because we get her motivations towards the end of the chapter. I obviously don't agree with what she did, but you've given more development for characters that are otherwise one-dimensional.

I'm looking forward to reading on - and you've also given me a few little tips from this ^^'

I apologize for the spelling mistakes in my comment ^^'