Sparkatale

You managed to convey a scene with very few words, which is a great way to start a story. We already have a sense of a threat, of hardship etc. It interested me...which I suppose is the point of an opening chapter, right? ^^ I'll keep my eye out for updates

This chapter was a nice introductory scene to the world, a bit of explanation about the world. Christina had the most fleshed-out personality for me, but I also liked the little things like Christopher and his moment with his father.

A bit confused with the ring's explanation; The King mention it was Christopher's father's ring... when he was speaking to his father? Or have I missed something? Nothing a quick edit can't fix!

But it's nice, I'll try and keep up with it! ^^

Thank you for your interest! I realize Christopher’s situation was not clearly explained. The King adopted him after the beast destroyed his hometown. I finally get around to editing the chapter and attempted to make that more clear.​

I saw someone comment on this so thought I'd look at it! It looks really cool! What did the beast take? I'll read this when I have time and tell you what I think!

What I like about the beginning of the chapter is that the healers and clerics aren't seen as too powerful. They try their best but their powers are realistic and limited. I liked that; far too often in fantasy you see healers get rid of mortal wounds and robbing the suspense. Great job. You also did a good job with describing fear in different ways (cormac's face as white as now)

It'll be interesting to see where the story will go from here now that Christine was captured. One thing I would point out is the dialogue in the story. It's okay for the time being but a bit more variety (talking about likes, dislikes, not jsut to further the story) would be nice.

It's still interesting, keep it up

*snow and **just, sorry for the spelling mistakes ^^'