Sparkatale

Hello! This is really great so far! I like your use of descriptive language ^^ I think you have just the right amount of mystery, so its intriguing and I want to see what happens next. P.S the cover is so cool!!!! :D

I really enjoyed this. The first chapter was beautifully described. The second, too, had such great, vivid descriptions it really made the world come alive. One thing I would say in way of a critique is that in the second chapter I was a little surprised that a young Yuki wouldn't realize something was terribly wrong after his father's death. Sure, he's a toddler, but after speaking to him and having a strange man appear it would be a little more realistic for him to show at least some shyness or fear. Then, I was slightly confused in the part with the black butterflies. It wasn't really clear what was happening. Was Yuki alone causing it or who was the robed man? Might be worth going back and clarifying that a bit.