Sparkatale

I actually saw this particular work in the run-up to St. Patrick's Day - I find it ironic and incredible that I would find its author getting into contact with me! Taking a look at the first chapter, with the robbery and our introductory look into Connor and his life, it becomes apparent that you're quite capable of painting a scene - whether it's the dark and revered atmosphere of a museum or the description of Ireland, I was never lacking in spacial awareness, something that is usually lacking with some novels. But, there are some things I want to look at, and some things I would like to suggest: There was some mix - up of tenses in your chapter (fourteen year old Connor has AWAKENED at four o’clock in order to begin his day assisting at the fishery. Coming from a poor homestead and living only with his mother, the lad SPENDS his summers and weekends working) it's not a big problem, but you should stick to one tense. (present or future, in this instance) You took meticulous research into Ireland, its location, its culture, its language, which is to be commended. However, I felt that the Ireland you painted here was too...aspirational, in that your research focused on tourist brochures ( I sound like an asshole here, I know, but that was how it felt to me, in my most brutal honesty.) Ireland is far from perfect, and no matter where you live there are flaws which natives take into account which removes the 'sheen' of a country which tourists would otherwise miss. Thirdly, I felt slightly confused as to who was telling the story, so to speak. It focuses on two thieves in one part, then the point of view changes to the Irish teenager who witnesses their robbery...but the final part, where you describe the country as a whole, had no character attached to it, and that slightly confused me? Perhaps that is just me... Now having said all of that, your grammar was perfect (a major plus) and I have to admit that you DID capture the charm of the Irish lore and atmosphere, while also leaving us with a plot that will thicken with each new chapter. I may come across as critical here, but my writing is far from perfect myself. We as writers offer criticism to help us improve, and I hope I helped in some small way!