Sparkatale

Now this is my kind of fantasy story! Love the intrigue in the mystery and the buildup of suspense throughout, I can't wait to hear the unraveling of the truth. The forests may be the most mystical places on Earth, so full of natural magic and enchantment, you chose the perfect setting for this mystery. What’s that? You’re going to publish the next chapter? :)

I've always felt that the most difficult thing about writing fantasy is that sometimes the whimsical wall separating fantasy from reality is too thick--a bit of an oxymoron I suppose. Your impeccable word selection cut through those barriers like butter, creating a vibrant and vivid world that felt as though it sucked me right into it. I may have just written a fantasy story, but your work is inspiring me to start another one soon!

So true! Funny how people tend to think of zombies as the flesh feasting brain eating variety, when the real zombies are all around us....if not us!

Thank you Mary! This was not my first story, I wrote it about two years ago. It's probably somewhere near my fiftieth story, so I've had a bit of practice. 

Very good job, Leaf! The suspense built with each five to ten minute segment, and I could feel the tension as if I were aboard the train. I don't want to give away the ending to anyone, but it was superb, I smiled and said "nice job, great finish!" aloud. This certainly proves that you are a dynamic writer that can tackle a multitude of genres, on top of your fantastic art work!

I'm really enjoyed a lot of the themes present in this story, which is as rich as any coming of age tale. The burden and benefits of independence, challenging authority and faith, and leadership bestowed by circumstance as opposed to planning. The story flows very smoothly as well, and I'm enjoying the interactions between characters and the rebellion displayed by the protag. Really looking forward to seeing where things lead. Great job Kitty.

This is one hell of a good story! So vivid and detailed, at just a little over a thousand words no less, which can be difficult to do. I could feel the tension building, and empathize with both Alice and her father. The ending is just great, really can't elaborate on that without giving too much away to others. This is what short stories are all about.

Very good job Alexandria, I can tell that you poured you worked very hard on this story, and it shows! The plot was great, and your story more than lived up to its promise. I was happy to see that you captured the buzz surrounding the whole Y2K scene that was going on at that time, seeing as how you weren't around yet in 1999. I'm not very good at these things given that I tend to give details and I don't want to do that, but I can say that the suspense was great, the story really drew me in and didn't let go. The transition scenes were very detailed, allowing me to imagine what was taking place, and frankly I loved the ending because it was not at all like what I was expecting, that is definitely my type of ending. Great job!

107,000 words, most impressive Nat! The plot drew me in with the promise of excitement and adventure, and I can safely say that you delivered on that promise through the first several chapters that I read. The setting is most unique and different from any other story that I've read on this site, and the geography of your background has certainly provided you with the experience to compose a very good story. My favorite part thus far was the nightmare scenes with the dragons, but it was a difficult choice choosing one. Great job Nat, and I look forward to reading the rest of Saint Calum!

Loved the premise of this story involving how humans are serving the robots--at least on the other planet. The point of view from the robot was awesome, so many people (myself including) love writing stories about humans exploring other worlds, but your story offers the fresh perspective of a robot experiencing the extraterrestrial world that we call Earth. Your English is exceptionally strong Fiona; I would never guess that you are not a native speaker. Looking forward to the rest of this story!

Your introduction was fantastic, it asks a question that we have all asked at sometime in our lives, and the following sequence was quite captivating, I felt as though I was there in the room! Even as children we think of our bedrooms as a fortress of solitude, and when that peace is invaded by a foreign being, much less an extraterrestrial, the terror is primal and really hits close to him! You also are very familiar with the setting of Galveston, Texas, and it shows, I felt as though I were there too! I also loved how the aliens were under the sea, anyone that has been to the ocean can relate to the mysteries lurking under the waves, so even though this is a fantasy tale it incorporates quite a bit of realism into it. Then you have the historical fiction element present with the Great Hurricane of 1900, which is something I always love in a story! The ending paragraph was extremely well said and wraps up the story quite well, giving the reader to think about. Extremely impressive story for being 15 Alexandria, I must say your writing level is easily college level.

First of all, you can't go wrong with such an A list of great actors and actresses, including my favorite actress Kathy Bates. Using well known figures that most readers have an idea of, and maybe even have typecast, is a challenging exercise for any writer, but I am happy to say that you took the straw of those personalities and spun them into gold. All in all it really works well together and flows quite well. Great job Jamie!

I often try to see if the story surpasses the quality of the plot, or vice versa. An excellent story, in my opinion makes it difficult to choose a winner because they are both equally superb, and this is just such a story. Was really looking forward to how you wrote about characters changing their perspectives from the impact of those around them and their environment, and I was not disappointed with the style that you incorporated. When you've got 37 (now 38) comments and nearly 500 views, you don't need me to tell you that you're story is great, but I'm going to say it anyway. Great job Shannon!

Talia,

I'm a huge fan of stories with unconventional elements. You'll probably take some heat about the multiple points of view, but I loved it! Anytime you can add a splash or originality to a story it's a net win, especially when the storyline is interesting and your word selection is outstanding.

Way to go!

I was in the mood for a great adventure story and this one scratched me right where I itched! It was easy to relate to the characters, and most of us understand what it is like to lose somebody important to us, making it easy to sympathize with the quest in the story. The ending was good and opened up quite a few doors of thought.

Good job Tiarah!

Marcie,

Count me in among the readers that appreciated your story. The beginning was superb and grabbed my attention, and it was easy to keep going with this story to find out what was to come. I've always been a fan of darker stories and demonology, and your work scratched me right where I itch! 

 Right away I was delighted with the summary, as it captivated my interest. You made it very easy to feel the hopelessness of Klima as he was abandoned in the darkness, as well as the institutionalization of leaving behind the castle after living there for two years. Looking forward to seeing what lies in store for Klima as she journeys forth to clear her name and retrieve her Prince!

Stacey,

Love the concept, I’ve written a similar themed story myself. You really have been blessed with a great gift of painting detailed scenery with your words, I felt as though I were there in the sandbox building castles! I really enjoyed how you took the generally desired idea of eternal youth and turned it into something a little less desirable, as the traveler told his younger version how he they had stopped aging and would be that young forever! Not quite sure if that was your intention, but it really made me think. Good job!