Sparkatale

Nicely done! Your writing was very solid and flowed neatly, and the story itself was super cute. I don't have much to say as far as corrections go; you were pretty good as far as that went, so kudos!

Sorry this comment is so short, but just know you did wonderfully! I liked it a great deal. :)

Keep writing!

~Raine

Interesting... I have no idea what's going on, but it was interesting nonetheless! This reminds me of Toy Story. I mean, they are toys after all. Of course I'm left with a lot of questions but I have a feeling that those will (hopefully) be answered later. The story is better than I thought it would be. I was very pleasantly surprised. :) I'll keep reading more later, in my free time.

Tigress, I'm glad you liked the story. Unfortunately, it's just a short story, so there's no other chapters to go along side it. Usually, short stories don't have a lot of room to explain things. The next chapters are all different short stories, so they're stand alone.

Oh, and Tigress, these short stories really are somewhat of a preview of my upcoming main book that I'm working on. Though the short stories themselves don't entirely fit with the main story or book, they at least give you and other readers an idea of what will happen in the story.

Ah! I see. In that case it's very hard for me to understand some of the things that I read, but given that it's a sort of preview I won't complain about it. I still like the idea of it. Maybe I'm just tired right now- perhaps if I read it with a fresh mind tomorrow I'll understand more. If you're going to write a novel, I look forward to it. :)

There's only one thing that I can complain about, and that's the lack of detail. I know that it's a short story, and that it's made up by a child, but to the reader it sounds a bit impersonal and it's hard to get into because I didn't quite feel immersed into the story. For example you described Maxwell as "looking evil". That could have been expanded into a more detailed explanation. But other than that, it's very cute and once again reminds me of Toy Story.