Sparkatale

This was a very action packed chapter. You kept it interesting and moving though I would suggest adding a little more detail to a few sections. The first is when he goes to the bar and the magic weaver mayor guy starts throwing stones. It didn't make complete sense to me and could use another sentence or two linking that to when he leaves his home after seeing his wife with another man. The same goes for when he confronts the man (sorry, the names are too hard to remember how to spell them for the sake of the comment). I assume you'll be putting more information on exactly what's going on in the world you've created in the next chapter, but it wouldn't be a bad idea to have a little more on that in this first chapter as well. It would just clarify what sort of situation the main character is in. Otherwise I enjoyed this story. It looks like a action-filled, bloody type of fantasy which is always a great break from the more romance-based fantasies. Nice work.

Thnx, I work on wide descriptions, I rewrite this txt but I must write in russian at first but I'll have in mind your advises. I don't know why this txt shows as "in progress" I put a mark... it's so strange.

So is this complete? If so, when you have it changed I'll review it too so you have a star rating. Yes, I know how hard writing in another language can be. I just moved to a different country and it's a struggle some days.