Sparkatale

Got a lot of content up here! It's definitely a great start and I'd just like to mention a few things. 

Formatting is a picky thing, but it should never be underestimated. I think it'd be good for you to look over everything and make sure the spacing is consistent and as perfect as you can get it. Sometimes there's a break missing, or an extra one as well. Just need a bit of clean-up!

It might also be beneficial for you to check over some of your wording and spelling. I didn't catch too many mistakes, but there was a time when you wrote "asses" instead of "assess" (not going to lie, I laughed! Nothing to be embarrassed about though.). Just look for small things like that.

In terms of the plot, I do have a few questions. Was there any particular reason Yoraed chose the name "Nivarn"? Or was it just out of the blue? It would make more sense if he was like, "Oh how about we call you Nivarn? It was my great-great-great granddaddy's name! Haha!" ...Lolz, or something like that. Excuse my nuttiness. I just think the name should have some kind of origin, or it wouldn't make sense. Yoraed could even say, "Oh, it's just a common name here."

Also, you refer to Karid as Nivarn in dialogue. Hmm, I'm not sure if I'm taking note of that or critiquing you... Hmm. Well, I just think it's an interesting approach! You don't really have to change anything. Though, there are many different ways to approach the naming in terms of stories with an amnesiac. Some people don't even mention the character's real name until they remember. Though not required, it adds a nice dimension of mystery to the story. Just thought I'd mention that. 

In terms of characterization, I don't have a particular problem with either Karid nor Yoraed (except maybe that currently they both seem too perfect) but it's only chapter 7. Personally, I dislike Irana. What was your goal in describing her? Were you attempting to make her seem sophisticated and subtle? Sometimes her words/actions contradict this image. 

All in all, refocus the person you're trying to portray with everyone. Obviously, Karid is a confident man. Could you perhaps add a bit dimension in accentuating some of his faults? Or maybe his anxiety to learn who he is? Normally people with amnesia are anxious to regain their memories... If he's not like that, you should explain why as well. It'd be best to address that in some way. 

Also, one last picky thing! Parenthesis are cute and funny, but I do believe sometimes it would appear more professional if you used them in a separate sentence instead. It would definitely fit. It's not a matter of using them as it is a matter of overusing them. 

Lot's of good ideas here, just need to tie up some lose ends. You might want to do some editing and revising to clean up a few mistakes and reduce some choppy sentences. The idea of Golboroth being a healing city is very unique! I'm interested in seeing what happens next.

Okay, first of all, thanks for critiquing. I really do appreciate it. 

As for the spacing, sparkatale was doing strange things while I tried to space the story. I kept getting extra spaces for some stuff. 

And well, spell check really doesn't get everything. I'll have to look it over. 

Answering plot questions:

Nope, there was no reason that Yoread gave that name. Didn't really think about having a reason, because frankly if I had to name someone I would just pull a random name out of somewhere. Perhaps he just thought Karid looked like a Nivarn. 

As for referring to Karid as Nivarn in dialog, well it because the people speaking to him only knows him as Nivarn. In fact he only knows himself as Nivarn. However as this is a sequel book instead of the first book, it is probably best to call him by the name readers would have known him as.

Characterization:

Before I answer for Irana, I'd like if you pointed out those parts that you thought contradicted her image.

Yoraed: Now that you mention it, he really doesn't have a lot of flaws.But then he is by nature an easy going guy. Nature meaning sort of in more ways than one. He is a healer and he is a person who has been trained to be the crown prince of his kingdom. But if you meant that you wanted him to be a little more human you'll see some of it in later chapters. 

Karid: I know he seems a little too perfect but here's something to know about this guy: he's literally trained to be as perfect as possible. It certainly doesn't mean he is without faults. He has 'em, but he is better at hiding them, and well, trained to deal with 'em too. However you'll see some of it, showing up in later chapters once more. 

As for him not being anxious to regain his memory, Karid is, I think, someone who takes things in stride and is pretty practical. If he can't remeber yet, he isn't going to fight it. When he does remeber something though, he does try to hold on to it.

By the way, one question for you, I know there isn't a lot of clues, (actually 1 and 1/2 clues) but have you figured out that Yoraed isn't exactly normal?

Interesting work so far. This is an easy read, with lots of emotion in the introduction. I was a bit hesitant at first to read because the narrative in the beginning is first person, and that usually isn't my cup of tea. I'm glad that it was only just to describe the though process of, who I am assuming was Karid. That said, despite it being first person, it truly was captivatingly emotional. It made me empathetic towards the sheer desperation Karid must have been experiencing.

I noticed that there are quite a few commas placed that really seem to fracture and disrupt the flow of the chapter. 

Here are a few things I'd like to point out:

[But he forced himself to keep them open and looked blearily around the room. The room was large and airy] Ending a sentence and starting another sentence with the same phrase tends to make things sound a bit repetitive. 

[Yes, everything hurt, but why did everything hurt] This also comes off as repetitive. I understand Karid was confused as to why his body ached, but perhaps you could write it in a more eloquent way.

[He took in several shaky but deep breaths and managed to calm himself and found that the pain was also fading.] That's a bit of a mouthful. You use a lot of commas yet here, where it was needed you seemed to decide against it.

[It was a man, looking to be about 25 years, with a healers robe.] I would suggest writing out "Twenty-five" instead of just slapping on the number, as it tends to take away the authenticity building as the chapter progresses.

["That is to be expected." And poured out a glass of water from the mug on the table and carefully fed it to him.] 

["I can't remember." he said at last.]

I would simply suggest going back and taking a look at your sentence flow. The structuring was decent, it all just came off a bit choppy at times. A last tip I'd give when editing: try expanding your use of vernacular. I think simple is best, but at times a good word helps spicen up a good story when it comes to describing things.

The story itself is intriguing. I like when stories start off as a mystery. I'd like to know who Karid truly is, why he was poisoned, and who was the culprit?

Great start, I hope this helped.

Thanks for the comment and for pointing out all the stuff you pointed out. I'm glad you liked it!