Once upon a time, there lived a unique girl named Winter. Winter was unique thanks to her silver hair and ice blue eyes that is how she received the name Winter. She was a genius when it came to music and smart when it came to academics. But the most unique thing about her was her ability to make male werewolves fall in love with her just at a moment’s glance. By having this ability, she has enjoyed the company of many men, but still searches for the werewolf that will steal her heart and claim her as his mate.
Hah! As if, my life is a fairy tale. My name is Winter. Winter Alice Thomson and I grew up in the suburbs of Miami. I live a pretty decent life. I'm not a nerd but I'm smart. I'm not a musical genius even though I wish I was, but I still have the talent. I love to read especially werewolf stories on Wattpad or Fictionpress. About my bodily features, I'm slim thanks to my love for Just Dance, Zumba, Dance Central and any other dance workout game or DVD. I do actually have silver hair although it's more closer to white hair and ice blue eyes which can turn to other shades of blue depending on my mood. I'm pretty tanned thanks to many days at the beach and I'm tall! Five foot two to be exact and I know you wish you could be as tall as me. Personality wise I think I'm more of a laid back person who can sometimes have random outbursts which make me seem crazy... anywho next is my family. I have two wonderful parents and one cat named Brownie since his fur is all brown. I have two best friends Loran and Samuel Rogers aka The Twins. Together we have our own small band called The Heartbroken since The Heartbreakers was already taken also since we've all had our hearts broken at least once.
Well that was a little bit of my life in a nutshell. Now I can't wait until I start college in the fall. I'll be living upstate with my best friends and going to a cool university. We'll probably book a lot of gigs and hopefully one of them is at a frat party (it's always been a dream of mine). And I get a little romance in my life since I've been living my love life through books and stories I've read for the past two years. I think it's about time I get to reality with my love life and have some fun. I hope that my life will be interesting enough to tell someone.
2: Summertime
It’s one of the hottest days of the summer and this is the day we chose to head off to Tallahassee. It’s just me, Loran and Sammy driving up to Tally to officially start our summer vacation. We created a playlist on Loran’s iPod touch titled “road trip tunes,” it started with Summertime by Will Smith, and so far, it hasn’t ended yet. You see it takes about seven too eight hours to get to Tallahassee from Miami and I’ve been waiting patiently for my turn to drive since we got in the car which was about five hours ago. The thing about sharing a car with the twins is that they love to drive, and most of the time argues about who gets to drive first. By now, I’m used to it, but today I really wanted to help with the driving to Tallahassee I even made both of the promise to let me get a turn. Now that we’re almost there I feel like they forgot that promise.
“Hey why the long face?” Loran asked as she looked at me through the rearview mirror.
“Oh it’s nothing,” I replied.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Yeah, I was just waiting for my turn to drive that’s all,” I answered looking out the window.
“Oh sugar! I’m so sorry once I start driving there’s no stopping me,” Loran said while changing lanes.
“It’s okay I know how much you love to drive.”
“That’s no excuse I made a promise and I intend to keep it. I’ll just get off at the next exit and we can fill up the car and you can start driving,” she said picking up speed.
“Thanks Loran,” I smiled.
“No prob Winnie,” she smiled back then focused on the road.
I looked back out of the window and watched as the trees flashed by. I always wondered if there were werewolves running in those trees. But I seriously doubted it since they didn’t exist, and plus who would have a pack house near a highway anyway. Loran exited just like she said and pulled up into a gas station.
“Alright Sammy you pay for gas while Winnie and I get the snacks,” Loran said once she hopped out of the car.
“Okay,” Sammy mumbled as he walked over to the gas pump.
“Let’s go Winnie we don’t have all day,” Loran shouted from the entry of the store.
“Technically we do,” I said to myself. “Coming!” I shouted back as I got out of the car.
Out of the three of us, Loran is more of the leader while Sammy was the lazy mysterious guy and me well I was just the glue that kept us all together. I walked into the store and looked around for Loran she was in the candy aisle choosing between a bag of Skittles and a bag of sour Skittles. Once she decided on what she wanted she walked down the aisle to get Sammy his favorite candy M&M’s. I was more of a chocolate bar person myself, so I picked a Snickers and Twix then I walked over to the drinks. Knowing Loran I’m pretty sure she grabbed three bottles of water already so I grabbed me and Sammy a Pepsi. Loran hates soda since she watched a documentary about what soda does to a person’s body, but Sammy and I still love it. I walked over to the cashier and paid for my things then headed back out to the car.
“Here you go Sammy,” I said handing him a Pepsi.
“Thanks Winter,” he said taking it from me.
“Are you going to sit in the front with me?” I asked while opening my Twix.
“Yep,” he replied.
“Great,” I said then took a bite of my Twix.
“Is the car filled up?” Loran asked from inside of the car.
“Yes sir,” Sammy replied causing Loran to glare at him.
“Then what are you two standing around for let’s get back on the road,” she said then shut the car door.
“That’s our Loran,” I said and Sammy shook his head.
We got back into the car and I started to drive. I was so happy that I cranked up the music and rolled down the windows. Soon enough we were singing together as I drove the rest of the way to Tallahassee.
^-^ ^_^ ^-^
Once I drove into Tally, I immediately went to the hotel that our parents arranged for us to stay in for the week. The Staybridge Suites was one of the nicest hotels I’ve ever been in. As I waited in the lobby for Loran to get the room keys and Sammy to get our luggage from the car, I sat in a chair and flipped through a magazine while listening to my iPod.
When I looked up to see if Loran was finished, I spotted a family of five coming out of what seemed like a dining room area. They stopped to talk to another family and I couldn’t help noticing the son. He had dirty blonde hair and blue eyes with caramel colored skin. He was tall and built like a quarter back and he had an award-winning smile that complimented his dimples.
At first, I sat there trying to figure out what he was saying to his sister who looked just like him until something caught his attention. He sniffed the air and his eyes started to search for something. Intrigued I took a whiff of the air and didn’t smell anything out of the ordinary. When he couldn’t find the source he just gave up and went back to talking to his sister who now seemed concerned. He said something, which surprised her, and she smiled at him then said something back. Darn it I really need to learn how to read lips. Before I could decipher what they were talking about a hand flashed in front of my face causing me to jump. I looked up to see an amused Loran.
“Sorry about that,” I said as I took out my ear buds.
“It’s okay I’ve got the keys for the room,” she said handing me a key.
“Thanks,” I said taking it then sliding it in my pocket.
“No problem, let’s go find Sammy with our luggage,” she said then helped me off the chair.
“Okay,” I said and we started to walk back to the entrance then I remembered the family I was watching, and I looked back but they were gone. I shrugged it off and smiled at least I know there’s cute boys in Tally.
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Chapter: 1
Hey, I know what it's like not to get feedback, but I think good or bad feedback is great. Your writing style is interesting, it feels very natural. I think in the first paragraph you may overuse a few words (I think unknowingly we all end up doing it sometimes).
Personally, I haven't written a first person story before, although I have read a ton. (This is basically a personal way of thinking here) I believe you may be going too much into the lead characters description which leaves little to the imagination - again, personal opinion - loads of people prefer it this way.
~MF~
March 7, 2014 | May Freighter