Sparkatale

I’m not usually a fan of really detailed descriptions, because generally I feel people sometimes over-describe and it distracts from the characters and plot. But in this story though I think you described the world really well, it gives it this cool surreal feel. So good job :D The characters seem interesting, I’m excited to read more about them. One thing, though, I’m slightly confused as to how old Cyrus is… Other than that I don’t have much to say, so far. I’m looking forward to the rest :D

 And I spent like twenty minutes trying to figure out those number puzzles :P Since I finished school my maths has completely seeped from my brain…

So, I'm guessing when someone falls unconscious in the dream world they go back to reality? This is a cool idea though, has a little bit of an Alice in Wonderland feel to it with the owl and the descriptions of the very dream-like nature. By the way, the descriptions were wonderful and very well done and don't interrupt with the flow of the story.

Is Aisling's skin gray in the dream world, or is it really gray in reality as well? That paragraph explaining it kind of confused me and threw me off. I like her character however and I'd like to get to know more about why she's sad and lonely, and as for Cyrus he made it seem far to easy to discover her emotions. However, he was "the same." The way you have people exit from the dream world was also a nice touch.

So far this is really good, not much happens but it sets up a window for a lot more to come. Keep up the good work!

I liked the fragmented nature of this chapter, it was really effective in conveying his confusion, loneliness and eventual death… I love how you managed to convey so much of Cyrus’ character and emotions, even in a short chapter like this J

I am a little confused, however, as to exactly when this is set. I thought at first it was a kind of old-fashioned setting, as homeschooling and nannies and boarding school aren’t that common any more, but then I’m assuming he got hit by a car (or truck, they have loud horns don’t they? I don’t know :P), so maybe it’s more modern than I thought. But I suppose it might not matter that much anymore, if he’s in the dreamworld…  I’m interested, do all people in this world become dreamgivers when they die? Or is Cyrus just a special case? If he’s a special case I wonder where everyone else goes… :D

I’m also curious as to why he’s so determined to save Aisling, but I don’t know maybe that’s an effect of the dreamworld? I’m excited to read more :D

Ooh, with the Preface alone, you've garnered my attention--though of course, so too did your summary.

I might do it slowly (I seem to be multi-tasking, when it comes to reading), but I'll be sure to read more of this.