Sparkatale

Well, this was certainly interesting. Firstly, in general terms, I find it really fascinating to be introduced to a series through a side-story xD I’m not sure why. I suppose it’s just cool the way we’re not only learning about the main character and what happened to her that built her into the person she is today, but I also like all the little hints and snippets of what the main series is actually about xD It’s fun to try and guess – like I presume her going off and adventuring on the Sunflower and exploring the stars is part of the main plot, but at the same time, I can’t be fully sure. If you ever post that story up I’m sure there will be an extra layer of fascination, already having an idea of what makes the character tick and being able to see why she acts the way she does to certain things. Anyway, enough with my rambling. I shall talk more specifics now xD

Firstly, I liked (which is a really strange thing to say, considering how horrible it all is) getting to learn about Lucy’s backstory and get a glimpse into the culture of the Borderworlds. And I have to say although I’m sure this wasn’t intentional, all I could think of when you were describing the pleasure houses and the genetic modification poor Lucy and the rest went through reminded me chillingly of what happens to the Pinks in the Red Rising series. It is my favourite set of books in the whole world, so I find the concept very interesting even though the implications of it are as creepy and unsettling as they are in that series. Still, if I were an evil overlord, part of my world domination would be forcing everyone to read that series, so any comparison is still a positive thing for me xD

Anyway, moving on from that, I also liked (again, it’s a weird thing to say in context :P) the sequence of her overcoming the five pirates. It was very disconcerting and uncomfortable to read, but that just made the scene work even more. I don’t blame her at all for what she had to do (even killing Callie, since in that situation did she really have any other choice?) but obviously it will affect and haunt her for the rest of her life. It was really well written and tense the whole time and probably my favourite sequence in the chapter. I found the setting of Haven and Garrett himself very interesting too, although I am immediately very suspicious of them :P I mean, they seem quite nice in this chapter, at least in comparison to the rest of the world, but then Lucy describes Haven as a “dirty, crappy, rundown hole in the wall” so I really wonder what else happened there in the three years since the events of this chapter and the present.

Anyway, there was one thing I thought was a bit strange so I thought I’d mention it. It’s a little hard to critique this and I’m not even sure if it’s really relevant, since it’s a side story rather than the main body of work. Still, I suppose I found this story a little too retrospective at times, in the sense that we’re mainly being told what has happened to Lucy rather than directly getting to experience it. But like I said, I understand that’s probably because it’s a side story telling us her backstory rather than the main series, but still. I suppose I found it a little jarring at times because of that, although I’m not sure it’s worth changing and the story is still interesting regardless. Anyway, moving on from that little ramble, I’m really wondering about the old lady that was whispering to her and then gave her back the knife so she could kill the Duke. Who is she and why does she keep disappearing and reappearing at random moments? And why is she guiding Lucy? So many questions :P Despite Lucy’s thoughts on the matter, I highly doubt it forever remains a mystery in the main story. Anyway, overall this was a very interesting introduction to another story that I’d certainly be very eager to read if you ever decided to share it on here :)

Thanks so much for the comment! Firstly, I owe you a pretty sizable apology for still having not replied to your last message. Claire had a really serious medical scare (she’s fine, by the way) but we had a few weeks of what I can only describe as my worst nightmare. Ever since I’ve just been unable to do much of anything really, at least up until last week when I finally managed start writing again. I’ll be replying soon, I promise. But anyway, enough of that before I start rambling too long.

Yeah, it’s kind of weird to start a series with a side story. I’d been planning the series out for a long while now. It’s actually the first thing I’ve ever planned out in advance like this. I’ve got a five book arc put together at the moment which is kind of scary but also quite nice. Anyway, I’d planned on holding onto this for a while after I finished it the other night and at least get the actual series going before posting it. But I ended up finishing it in one night and decided to go ahead and see if just how twisted this series will likely be is more of a turn off than anything else :P Hopefully not, but when you open with all that it’s hard to be sure :P

Heh, well I can’t say I drew on Red Rising for inspiration (at least not intentionally) I completely agree that everyone should read that series. It’s absolutely fantastic and easily one of my favorites as well. So if you ever take over the world I’ll be strongly in support of that decree xD Well, I’m glad (and this too is an odd thing to say, given the context) that you found the pirate elimination sequence to be uncomfortable to read. To be honest, I dialed back all of that quite a lot from the original draft. Borderworlds the Series (I have no idea what I’m going to call it yet) was inspired by the idea of Conan the Barbarian in space with some of Firefly’s humor, western theming, and deeply character-focused storylines, as well as GoT’s political intrigue at a later point. So the language, violence, sexual context, etc was all dialed up to eleven. I’m not entirely sure I’d even be allowed to post the original :P It was… graphic. Too graphic really and I felt it ended up taking away from the scene instead of adding to it, so I tuned everything down for this. We’ll see what happens with the actual series, ‘cause this is still fairly graphic. I mean I blew a man’s torso apart with a grenade and described the sexual assault of a pre-teen girl. Then again, that really graphic nature was the whole point so we’ll see. If I dial it back too much then I feel like I’m abandoning the original concept and not being faithful to what started this in the first place. If I don’t, however, I feel like I’m being needlessly gratuitous. Some wars just can’t be won, I suppose :P Regardless I’m glad you thought the scene being difficult to read made it work better.

Obviously I don’t want to dive too deeply into how things like killing Callie affect Lucy since that will all be explored later, but that death does weigh heavily on her and as you put it, it has haunted her ever since. She can’t be sure she didn’t murder an innocent woman and that has stayed with her. As for Garrett and Haven, well… Lucy says that about Haven because it’s really true :P Haven is a hot and dirty planet with only a single tiny town and a handful of people. As Luke Skywalker once said “If there’s a bright center of the universe, you’re on the planet that’s it’s farthest from. That’s Haven. It’s not a pleasant place, but it’s home. That said, Lucy does have a lot of history with Haven and Garrett and there’s definitely a lot that’s happened in the interim.  

No, I totally get what you’re saying although to be honest that was kind of the point. This was my first attempt at writing in a first person retrospective style, which seems fairly uncommon and I wanted to give it a try. The idea was that Lucy and you (the reader) are sitting at a table and she’s telling you this story. I have to admit that this didn’t improve my enjoyment of writing in first person in the slightest :P It might have turned out better if I hadn’t decided to go that route halfway through and had to change everything. Anyway, Borderworlds the Series will absolutely not be written in this style and instead will be very traditionally third person where I’m far more comfortable writing. This was something I did mainly as a test and a bit of a learning experience with a different style of writing. I tend to do that with side story where I’ll do things I’d never dare try in any sort of full length story. This style would drive me crazy trying to write it or even read it for that matter xD  

I’m not going to say much of anything about the old lady just now. We’ll leave that for later. A long while later, but later nonetheless :P Or maybe it’s just Rose and this is set in the same universe as Warehouse/Snowfall just really far in the future :P Anyway, thanks so much for commenting on this :) I’ve got to admit this is probably the most nervous I’ve ever been posting something before. This world is dark and it doesn’t pull any punches with just how horrible it is. It deals with some really messed up topics even just in this little snippet and I guess I’m not entirely sure how something of this nature will be received. Then again, Game of Thrones exists and doesn’t mind dealing with really messed up topics and it’s a phenomenon, so I suppose I shouldn’t be too worried about it :P Anyway, I’ll definitely be commenting on A City of War one day this  week. I’ve already read it but I’ll save my opinions until the actual comment. I will say though that it’s absolutely right up my alley and I’m really looking forward to what you do with it :D    

Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear about that :( I can’t imagine how horrible that must have been for both of you, but I’m really glad to hear Claire is doing well now. And don’t worry about taking a while to reply to me. I’m a big girl, I’ll cope :P