Status: Completed
Summary:
Created: September 19, 2013 | Updated: February 21, 2014
Genre : Fantasy
Language : English
Reviews: 1 | Rating:
Favorites: 1
Reads: 708
Share this:
| 1: | The Only Chapter | 1802 |
| Total Wordcount: | 1802 |
Reviews (1)
-
Delightful free-verse poem, with an interesting cycle through primary emotions; from passion to calmness, from depression to hope. Word choices are direct enough to get across the message, although the rhythm doesn't flow extremely neatly. Then again, neither does the mind. 4/5 stars.
Rating:
January 31, 2017 Flag
Comments / Critiques
-
Reply
You've got a great narrative voice. Very humorous and very nice writing. There were a few points that felt overly wordy or choppy, but that was minor. This chapter was easy to read and left me smiling...which in my opinion is the sign that you're doing something right.September 20, 2013 | D.M. Gergen
-
Reply
Thanks for commenting! I kind of meant for it to be absurdly wordy in a really unnecessary way, but if it breaks up the reading flow too much then i should probably take a few words out!September 20, 2013 | Tom Bombadil
-
Reply
Or just restructure a bit. The wordy is fine as long as it doesn't feel choppy. And again, this was only in a few spots, generally in your longer paragraphs.September 20, 2013 | D.M. Gergen
-
Chapter: 1 Reply
This story possesses a rather refreshing narrative: simple explanations with numerous clear details. Keep up the good work.
February 20, 2014 | Zabel Seishimugen