Status: In Progress
Summary:
Created: December 19, 2014 | Updated: January 7, 2019
Genre : Fantasy
Language : English
Reviews: 1 | Rating:
Favorites: 14
Reads: 13294
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1: | Chapter 1: Razing of Clearwater | 1424 |
2: | Chapter 2.1: Memorial | 2155 |
3: | Chapter 2.2: Memorial | 2038 |
4: | Chapter 2.3: Memorial | 2130 |
5: | Chapter 2.4: Memorial | 1642 |
6: | Chapter 2.5: Memorial | 1169 |
7: | Chapter 3.1: Clearwater | 1509 |
8: | Chapter 3.2: Clearwater | 2389 |
9: | Chapter 3.3: Clearwater | 3008 |
10: | Chapter 3.4: Clearwater | 2598 |
11: | Chapter 3.5: Clearwater | 2218 |
12: | Chapter 3.6: Clearwater | 701 |
13: | Chapter 4.1: Seth Wright | 1742 |
14: | Chapter 4.2: Seth Wright | 1350 |
15: | Chapter 4.3: Seth Wright | 983 |
16: | Chapter 4.4: Seth Wright | 1312 |
17: | Chapter 4.5: Seth Wright | 1094 |
18: | Chapter 4.6: Seth Wright | 1399 |
19: | Chapter 4.7: Seth Wright | 1163 |
20: | Chapter 5.1: Astral Alexandria Daamon | 2214 |
Total Wordcount: | 34238 |
Reviews (1)
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This story is amazing! You are a very talented writer. I love the beginning especially, many of the books on here do not have strong beginnings but yours certainly does. I'm glad I read this. Keep up the good work!
Rating:
January 1, 2015 Flag
Comments / Critiques
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Chapter: 1 Reply
The opening drew me in right from the start, instantly making me curious about the young girl, the sole survivor in this whole mess. It also made me very curious as to why these people were being attacked in the first place, what the war was about, and what the ooze (the demons, I assume?) wanted.
I wonder what is different about her soul, that made the ooze recoil and die, like that? I… read more
February 7, 2015 | Shannon Rohrer
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Reply
Wow, this has got to be the longest comment I've ever gotten for the first chapter. :P I appreciate your feedback.
FYI - I have editors lined up for sentence structure, tense, and spelling issues once the book is complete. What you are reading now is the 3rd pass going into the beta stage of the production process. I have used spell check and grammar - but they aren't exactly foolproof.
… read moreFebruary 7, 2015 | A. V. Dalcourt
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Lol, sorry. ^^; I keep meaning to condense, but there's always so much I want to say about what I'm reading, that I just around away with it. :P
Ah, that's good then. Sorry for pointing all that out; I wasn't sure, and I wanted to make sure that if you were doing it on your own, you wouldn't have to sift long and hard to find it all. Definitely a good thing you've got people to help you with it;… read more
February 7, 2015 | Shannon Rohrer
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Bugger, that should have said, "I just run away with it". O_O
February 7, 2015 | Shannon Rohrer
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LOL!
I don't blame you for pointing out errors like that. I mean, you have no idea what my work process is like, and for the most part, people just put up whatever they just finished writing.
My first draft is soooooo not good for public consumption. I'd be amazed if anyone could tell where I was going with anything. I started posting publicly mostly to ensure that i made continuous… read moreFebruary 7, 2015 | A. V. Dalcourt
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*Nods* That's a good way of looking at it. :) It keeps you motivated to continue bettering yourself as a writer.
And not a problem! ^^ It's my pleasure.
February 7, 2015 | Shannon Rohrer
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Chapter: 1 Reply
As an introduction to your story, I find this chapter very thought-provoking. Although the first section of it seems more like a prologue than part of the actual chapter, it sets the tone of your story nicely.
Since this book is a dense fantasy story, you also have to worry about things like world-building and magic. Your system all seems extremely well-thought out, but personally, I find the… read more
February 17, 2015 | Liz uli
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Your review of the chapter is very insightful, and it shows promise that other readers will be able to pick up on the subtlies you have. To address a few issues (not defensive like more like FYI like)
"First part of the chapter reads like a prologue" there's a funny story there. When I was creating sample pieces for my beta's Astral tested poorly, which is a shame because she was planned to be… read more
February 18, 2015 | A. V. Dalcourt