Sparkatale

I like the tragic turn of events at the end and Johnny's confusion and inner turmoil up until then. However, two issues... one, the setting is post-apocapyptic and having Trish and Johnny as the only two beings around feels way too convenient to me. It forces them to be alone, but you'd think there'd be other survivors or at least a hint of them. Also, the first half of the story drags and is too info-heavy. You want to have a snappier pace and use action and dialogue to move things along, not constant inner thoughts. I think there ought to be a better balance there. PS I'm not the technician type, but I'm fascinaated by the social and emotional implications of human-robot interaction and relations (such as whether they have a soul or true emotions, or if it's "right" for a person to love an artificial being).

Decent start so far. The post-humanity setting feels pretty run-of-the-mill, but I do enjoy the budding friendship between survivor girl and a computer. Charming how an ordinary, cold item can almost feel like a person or a friend. I'd like to see this tale continue! :)

Read chapter 2. Good to see Alexandra and Shawn take shelter in a cabin... sounds like they have everything they need in there! I hope they meet some more people soon and form a party, or else make some enemies. However, whether the Wakers are aliens intent on stealing our resources or escaped government experiments, both scenarios sounds pretty run of the mill to me. I hope you bring your own twists and innovations to the story soon.

Just read chapter 1 so far, and I thought it was fairly good :) I already like this Alex girl since she's self-sufficient and cares about her family. I guess she and Shawn will make good travel companions! There were some minor typos and spelling errors, nothing too bad. But for some reason there was no clear description of these Waker creatures. I had to make up a visual for them. Is their appearance supposed to be a mystery for now, to maintain suspense? If so, I find it odd that you'd involve creatures in a battle but provide no visual. I'm sure there's some other way to maintain suspense about them. Until next time!