Sparkatale

I did not see that coming.

This chapter was really good. I like that Trey is actually a baker. That's absolutely hilarious to me.

There weren't many mistakes besides not putting commas where they were needed. Great job!

P.S. Give the Baker family my condolences.

I think this story has a very interesting concept, and I can also see it has plenty of potential. I'm looking forward to seeing future chapters.

There were a few mistakes that I am going to point out to try to help you improve. I saw a couple of misspelled words, and you didn't capitalize the word "I" in the middle of sentences.

Also, I think explaining the hostility between Trey and his family was a bit too much of an info dump in the middle of the chapter. If you ever go back and edit the story, I think it would be better if it was shown through their actions and conversations more—you know, the old show-don't-tell rule. Perhaps you could show it in this first chapter and elaborate on it in future chapters.

Overall, though, I liked the chapter and am curious to see the rest of the story.