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James Potter
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- Joined 08/17/13
- Last login 12/30/15
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Rating:Omg! This is so sad. :( Is this an original piece of writing or based on something? Either way, its a brilliantly written first chapter which clearly tells you what the characters are like :D I only have one other question: Is this based on the Crusades? I'm currently learning about them in my History class & you mentioned Jerusalem which was an important place in the time of the crusades.
Reviewed on: December 7, 2013
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Rating:Wow! I can't spot any mistakes! You have written this in tremendous detail. You build up suspense really well and it really creates an eerie mystery for the reader (me) to question. The questions in it enhance this and make it come alive more. Generally, I don't normally read this genre but I really enjoyed it. You've told a really interesting story here as you have clearly got across to me that Kim has no idea of who she is & I Iove how you described her blacking out. Overall, its very descriptive and original piece that anyone could be interested in. I have no critique for this! Just continue to create your amazing imagery! :D
Reviewed on: November 29, 2013
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I actually didn't notice that before... But anyway, I wrote this a while ago, so I'm not too fussed about editing it. Could you possibly review my latest story: Unthinkable Romance???
Commented on: December 7, 2013
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Thank you very much for this nice review of my story. I understand exactly what you mean about it being confusing and how you need to read parts again to understand it. But, as you said, once you've worked out and read it thoroughly, it all makes sense! Please read my other story Shakespeare's Nightmare which is a general fiction and is in progress. Thanks!
Commented on: August 24, 2013
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Thank you for kind words and critique. I am very glad that I reminded you of how mythical stories used to be read to you. I completely agree with you about the paragraphing. I didn't pay much attention to how it was structured cause it's a fairly short story. But thank you for pointing that out. Btw, I read this when I was about 12 years old and tweaked it a little recently. This story is probably not my finest work as It doesn't represent me as the writer I am now.
Commented on: August 24, 2013