Sparkatale

I'm going to be honest and say that this book is okay. One thing I immediately see is that the way most of the characters speak is really formal, I don't know if this was on purpose, or if it's just the way you two write, but it seems almost... unnatural. Also, the descriptions may have been a bit too much, depends on which one you're talking about. In my own descriptions of character, I try to leave a good bit open to the imagination of the reader, more often than not, the imagination of the reader can create much more vivid and emotional visualizations of each character and their actions. Like maybe their eye color, hair, height, or even skin color, and even a basic description of their personality, but instead of trying to use their looks to give them personality, use their actions and words. Obviously, grammar and spelling were perfect throughout this so I'm not gonna spend any time on this, attention to detail is essential, and you've shown you have it with this. Although, as I said before, being over controlling of your characters can be bad. Last thing, plot line I think is fine, in fact, anything original and well done is fine, plot line and developement, as well as all parts of writing, are completely based off of opinion, so feel free to decline or accept my advice.

Great chapter, great story, I will definitely keep reading! This reminds me vaguely of the gods in the Percy Jackson series of books, but very vaguely, it appears you've gone out of your way to make them different.