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- Joined 02/23/14
- Last login 02/18/24
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I am a single parent to four young children. I live in Minnesota. I have been writing since I was 5 and have been published in a magazine distributed in Las Vegas. I am currently finishing a novel for print with my coauthor that should be on shelves soon. I will be posting the first of a new series on here and if people like it that will also be published.
Please follow my blog for more stories and journal entries: https://francegamble.wordpress.com/
There is also a link to my Facebook page off of my blog. Follow me for information of my upcoming release of stories and my novels!
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I think this is a great start. I love your use of words in this chapter and I am able to "see" most of what he is talking about. I can't wait to find out about these other two boys he mentions at the end.
Commented on: June 3, 2015
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Interesting start. One small word mixup with "because" instead of "became". I can still feel the sorrow and now want to know more.
Commented on: February 28, 2014
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So far I like the premise of this story. You need to do a bit of proof reading and grammar checking, but I can look passed it. Also, you do well with some descriptions but leave the reader guessing with others. It was rushed with whom else Nessa saw when she was being choked and then again confusing with how she recognized the clothing of the boy. It happened to be confusing as well for why it was that she collapsed after the car ride. Don't stop, though. I would like to find out more about what is going on.
Commented on: February 28, 2014