Sparkatale

This public service announcement is brought

To you, by the City Council.

Recently, several important matters have caught

Our attention, and we would like to give the people

A friendly reminder regarding the state

Of how we run things in our pleasant town.

Our Council has thus taken the liberty to create

A useful help-list for you, citizens, to take down.

The Council would like to remind you

To please ignore the loud sirens in the distance.

The thick fog and constant screams of agony

Any sightings of eccentrically shaped clouds

And deafening bass drum tones

Are of no concern to our peaceful town.

Helpful Tips to Assist in Daily Life

If at any time you see an unknown figure

Lurking in the shadows of your home,

Lurking in the shadows,

Or simply lurking,

The Council would like to remind you:

Everything is fine and to please continue with your current activities.

Do not scream.

Do not approach the figures.

Do not panic.

If the figure advances, avoid it.

Aggressive hyperventilating is permitted but not advised.

Avoid running.

Remember:

Out of sight, out of mind.

The man with the black machinery and the flag you do not recognize is not harmless.

Do not approach the man.

Do not speak to the man.

Do not fight the man.

Upon contact,

Run from the man.

Yell frantically at the man.

Resist the man until every ounce of spirit within your gas-tainted carcass

Flees like the raindrops off a window.

The Schedule of the Working Week,

Fully Applicable to All Citizens.

Monday.

Today is Annual Family Day.

The Council would like to remind all working individuals

To remain working.

And all non-working individuals

To remain with the text, images, figures, and opinions behind the light screens.

Tuesday.

- Tuesdays have been canceled, indefinitely. –

Wednesday.

The Council warns all citizens regarding a possible power outage.

Continue using all appliances as normal.

The sensation of heat trapped within the atmosphere

Is irrational, and to be ignored.

Thursday

All citizens are obligated to receive their weekly vaccinations.

The Council is aware that the looming onslaught of an epidemic dawning on our peaceful town.

The Council wants to assure all citizens to

receive the vaccinations

 and

continue eating the white pills.

Everything will be happy, healthy, and most importantly, peaceful.

Friday

Friday will be National Poverty Awareness Day.

Continue as normal.

If any citizens have an inquiries regarding the above help list

Created most painstakingly by our Council,

Please hesitate to contact them.

Adhere to all the above terms.

Sincerely,

The Council.