Sparkatale

I never wanted to be a writer,
I wanted to be an artist.
I wrote my first story
in Elementary school,
But I threw it away
Before I could see the grade.
I didn't try,
I didn't care.
I started again
In Middle school,
I'd lost my 'friends'
And been forced to start over.
I became me,
I realized how much
I hated myself,
My life.
I wanted to die.
I wrote until I cried;
I poured myself into it,
Heart and soul
Until it hurt to think about.
I started with poetry,
Free verse prose
To match my thoughts.
Then I turned to fiction.
It became an addiction,
An inescapable addiction.
All I had to make me happy
Were late nights with no sleep
Chasing characters down dark alleys
And into places that seemed so much better than here.
I started dating
Once.
It lasted into my sophomore year
When we finally ended it.
It lasted three years too long
And drove me further into the dark
Until I lost my only source
Of happiness.
I was voiceless,
I had no words to write.
When I got it back,
I told myself I'd never let it go.
I write until morning,
I cling to my words,
Forgoing food and drink
Until my head turns to fog.
When home, my love tells me,
"You don't know what you're doing to me,
Mon chérie,
I worry about you."
I don't have to explain myself,
I couldn't if I tried,
But still he understands
He's like me,
Except with music.
"Remember to take care of yourself,"
I nod, but we both know
That the addiction
Will always come first.