Chapter 1: Percy 

     Much like every morning, I reached for my phone the second I was awake; the brightness of the screen blinded me for a second, but when they adjusted, I looked for any new messages. It was only 7am, but there was one that I was waiting for. Thankfully, they hadn't messaged just yet, and a little part of me hoped that they forgot. Like clockwork, I gazed at the latest news articles, both from the city and abroad. There was plenty to be pessimistic about - lots of murders and disappearances and viral outbreaks. My therapist taught me to search for the positive, so I darted from article to article until I found it. A puppy was awarded an honourary medal for bravery for tackling a fire alongside some firefighters in Wisconsin. It was enough to make me smile, until I realized that I had to get up and get dressed.

     I always thought about the future, though it wasn't exactly my decision. They came and went as they pleased, constant worries and fears that always had me on-edge: in just a few years, everything I knew and took for granted had changed. I had a circle of friends, and in the blink of an eye they disappeared. I thought about things like that almost every waking moment, and it terrified me. Still, it wasn't always like that. I remembered Junior High; I had those friends, I had good days and bad days and everything else you could possibly expect from a kid growing up under the prison that was our school system.   

Then, just like that, it all changed.

     My AI app was opened as I ran downstairs, heated some cereal in a microwave - my friends hated that - Jack suggested that I try it, pretty much customized the little avatar for me, and its bright and cheery face greeted me. I named it Aidan, and I was glad that it couldn't critique the bits of oat and wheat stuck to my face. 

     'Hello! Been a long while since we spoke!' It wasn't, it was literally last night. 'Last time we talked, you seemed a little stressed. How do you feel now?' It must have been used to how I felt by now, but I still typed my reply anyway, the spoon stuck in my mouth so both of my hands were free. 

     'Anxious.' 

     'Oh no, well chin up a little bit, OK? I'm here if you ever need to talk!' It distracted me, but I spoke with it for so long that it copied most of my phrases and sentences, which sometimes felt like I was talking to myself. Still, any conversation was better than no conversation at all. Unfortunately, the message that popped on my screen wasn't the sort of conversation I wanted to have: 

     'You better have my money today.' He was up early today. I felt the spare change in my pocket out of instinct, just to make sure that it was still there. 

     'I do.' He didn't answer, but I didn't really want him to. My little AI avatar couldn't save me from that ordeal. 

     I walked out to the cold, unbothered by the weather. I never really liked the heat during the summer, it just seemed to suck the energy out of me. The rain on my skin at least helped me to think. While everybody else rushed from place to place with their open umbrellas, I just allowed it to soak my hair and run down my cheeks. It was still a lot better than being crammed into a small metal container with your life in the hands of someone you didn't even know. At least I didn't have to make small-talk with people I've never met. 

     I couldn't remember the first time I had a panic attack, but it arrived around the same time I realized I liked both boys and girls. Even thinking back on that made me breathe just a little bit quicker. That first drive to my therapist was the worst, way back when I was thirteen. Aveleira helped me to understand it - I still visited on a semi-regular basis, she hadn't changed at all since that first visit -  but I still remembered the first time when my chest felt tighter, where it got to the point that I had to carry some old brown paper bag around with me in case it all got a little much. Nobody else had that problem, and if they had they were very good at keeping it a secret. Sure, I knew all about how boys could kiss boys and girls could kiss girls, but when I saw the word Bisexual in black letters I just couldn't associate myself with it. It just wasn't me.   

Or was it?   

     It made me think about the future – because we were always told that we were the future when we were kids – and I thought about what it would be like to marry a guy. Would it be fine, or would I come across a girl who would make me question my entire life with this imaginary husband of mine? Would I then look at him and realize that I made a terrible mistake? Would I need to get divorced? Would I ever be able to find love if I was in my mid-forties and alone? Marrying a woman offered the exact same problem, but in reverse. 

There was only so much a bit of rain could do to distract me.

     There were puddles all over the pavement, I caught little reflections of myself as I walked past. My hair was getting a bit too bushy at the front now, I could tell because they were threatening my eyes. I wiped it aside with my hand, but of course it just stuck onto my forehead and refused to sweep to the side.   

 
     I was a little grateful that summer was over. Sure, it took the heatwaves along with it, but school at least gave me something to do, and something to complain about. Still, I was going to miss speaking to a few of my friends as well, the friends who lived too far away to meet up on a regular basis. New York was a big city but I still had the good judgement to befriend a lot of people outside it. Craig and Alexander - he insisted on saying his name in full, no abbreviations - lived in Alaska and Ohio, respectively. I was lucky to have met them in Comic-Con when I visited San Diego two months ago. Now that school was back, I was going to miss messaging them as much as I used to. 

What happened if they didn't hear from me often enough? Would they stop talking to me? 

     Instead on continuing down that rabbit-hole, I thought about what sort of societies I was thinking of joining this year – the debate team looked like a pretty good option – but then I remembered Jeremy: we had a complicated relationship – as complicated as it were in 5th grade, anyway - he was my first kiss, but I decided it was over once he ran around the school and proclaimed his love for me.

At 5th grade, this was a pretty big deal.

     Before I knew it, I was outed before I even knew who I was myself. Obviously, it was something that had happened a long time ago. We came to a mutual agreement to keep our friendship strictly at the small-talk stage, but it was a betrayal of trust I was never going to get back.   

I stopped thinking about Jeremy and I stopped thinking about the debating team.   

     Walking through the city was always a weird experience; one day, you could be pushing through a wall of people just to get to school, and you could be completely alone the next. The place could smell like freshly-made bread and coffee, or it could smell like sewerage. The sun could threaten to burn you alive, or the rain would try to drown you, there never seemed to be an in-between. I thought a lot about that, as well. What was going to hit me on any given day? What would change? Why did it have to change?   

     The clouds and the rain really robbed the buildings of their color. The usual warm brown bricks just looked dull and lifeless; the trees already bare even in mid-September. I took my usual route to school through 57th Avenue, it always took longer but it gave me time to relax and prepare myself for the day ahead. I felt the crunch of leaves under my feet, there was something about the season that just made things feel a little easier. Halloween and Christmas waited for us, the only real things to look forward to right now.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, distracting me. I smiled when I read the message. 

     'Hey, been waiting here for a while! ETA?' I imagined Malcolm hopping from one foot to the other to warm himself up. It was a funny little habit of his. 

'I'm literally right there, keep your hat on.' 

'Have no choice! I'm freezing!' 

     The last straight stretch of road to Elmhurst Park was covered in trees on either side of the road, still stubbornly green. Cars zoomed past,  breaking any sort of concentration that I had. The park itself was small, and that was when Malcolm hopped into view, right where we agreed to meet up. He wore a scarf that seemed two sizes too big for him, draped in brown and purple and doubling as a blanket. He grinned when he saw me. I was right about his little dance.   

     "Took you long enough!" He whined. I could see his breath.

"I'm actually two minutes early, I'll have you know!" 

     "Try telling that to my frozen nose, thing's 'bout to fall off!" He insisted, but I told him to wrap that carpet over his face a little bit tighter. We were going to have to plan our meetups a little more strategically next time.

     "So, first day back! You excited?" We both knew we weren't. Neither of us liked waking up at 6am and neither of us wanted piles of homework to take up even more of our precious free time, but he was trying to make the best of the situation, just like every other student in the state. We just went through different stages of academic grief.   

     "You bet!" It just seemed better to run along with it. We walked and talked for a little bit; Malcolm just spoke about his new morning routine while I explained how I just rolled out of bed and walked out the door. He seemed annoyed that I paid very little attention to how I looked when he needed to wake up in advance to make sure he looked spotless. It was seriously beginning to pour down now, we soon found ourselves running, anxious not to carry an entire ocean in our coats. It was a world away from the days he came to my house while my parents were away on business, playing games and doing makeup. 

     That was a fiercely-guarded secret of our childhood, but he looked fierce with some bright-red lipstick and lashes that were far too big for him. It was in keeping with his brand, though.

     Malcolm noticed the little change of expression on my face when we eventually stopped running for our lives.   

"You alright?"   

     "Nothing I can't handle." I replied. He knew what I was going through, the guy had seen enough of me to know better. He also knew when I sounded genuine and when I was only reassuring him for his benefit, so he left it at that and spoke about something else, "You see that guy over there, just by the liquor store?"   
 
     We were pretty close to Maspeth. The guy Malcolm pointed at looked just a little bit older than us, a college freshman by the looks of things. He stood just by the liquor store, he was blond and he looked lovely. I could see what Malcolm saw in him.   

 "He looks cute, alright," I agreed, and his cheeks flushed a little bit. Malcolm knew everything about me, but I knew his own dilemma as well. I didn't have time to stay closeted, but the fact that he couldn't have a relationship or openly talk about guys represented the other side of that queer coin. He didn't want a Jeremy incident.   

     "So how long are your parents out of town this time?" He asked. He really didn't need to.   

"Back tomorrow. Wanna come around and do some work?"   

     "Sure! We'll grab Jack, see if he wants to come around later!" Jack made up the final slot of our supposed tripod - his term, definitely not mine - and he had spent the summer in Minnesota with family. He only made it back home over the weekend, so he didn’t have that much time to recover before school was thrown in. Knowing him, he would skip the first day and blame it on travelling. I would have taken the opportunity for an extra twenty-four hours if I could.   
 
"I'll see if he's around!"   
 
     There was twenty minutes to kill, and it was usually spent in La Parada Obliganda. Their red canopy was threatening to collapse under the weather, so we ran inside before we got hit by the puddles of water it carried. Jackson – we never knew his first name, he never told us – was busy setting up shop. He muttered what I assumed was a hello under his breath as he heaved a tray of buns across the room. We sat by the window, because we were going to need to run to the school when we were done. I just ordered a fruit smoothie and sipped on it slowly, watching the rain outside.   

     "Just look at it," he mentioned to me in disgust. People were rushing out there. "Take me back." He probably meant the holiday he took to Turkey, where the sun quite literally split the stones. "You should have seen the guys over there. Percy, my god."   

     "Not my type." I was being a little absent, but only because I was watching the time and counting down the seconds before we had to leave, our free time disappearing right in front of us. "I'll leave them in your capable hands." 

"But you don't understand! Do you know how much confidence it takes to walk around without a shirt on?"   

"You're more than good-looking enough to do that!" I protested. Malcolm smirked.   

"You're working on your lying, very convincing."   

"You goof!"   

     It was nice to smile and laugh and joke around for a change. When he was finished telling me how attractive Turkish men were, he talked about the cities he visited while they were over there. The only one that sounded even vaguely familiar was Kayseri; it was the city where his evangelical parents met while they were travelling abroad, and they liked to go back there from time to time. It wasn't exactly a destination on my radar, no matter how hot the guys were.

     We wrapped ourselves back up and ran out in the open, right in the direction of our school. Buses pulled up just outside the door, feeding the students into it. We joined them, walking fast enough so that we would get out of the rain, but not too fast, because it was school. It was impossible to escape the sense of deja-vu once I made it indoors, like the last three months of summer simply never happened. I noticed Jeremy from the corner of my eye. He seemed pretty busy with his own circle of friends. 

I also spotted Aisling, but simply looked away once I recognized her. There was a lot to unpack there, as well. 

     We hustled our way upstairs, but when we reached the first floor we needed to split up. I promised him I would drag Jack out if I had to. He told me where he would be sitting for lunch. It was only three classes away; a manageable chunk of time. 

     Pretty soon after Malcolm left, I was back to being by myself again. I noticed a few new faces mixed in with the crowd I've recognized for years now, but everybody seemed to glare at me like I did something wrong. 

Was there something on my shirt? 

My hair? 

My face? 

Had I said something wrong? 

Did I do something wrong? 

     I kept my eyes firmly on the ground the entire way through, even if it meant almost bumping into everybody. My chest hurt, and my eyes darted from locker to locker, person to person. By the time I actually made it into Geography I was a nervous wreck. I chose the corner seat in the far-left corner and darted towards it while the rest of the room filled up. I reached for my phone, hoping I could get through to Jack as soon as possible.   

     Mr. Geoffry walked in, and I finally had someone else to focus on. All the chatter stopped; he wasn't really a person that cared much for noise. Sheets fell out of his folder - the man was a disorganized mess - and almost immediately he told us what we were to expect for the upcoming year. I was busy focusing on several things at once; Jeremy and Aisling and Malcolm and others I didn't want to think about. I took in a deep breath, very slowly, and just felt the air leave my lungs naturally. Aveleira taught me about the importance of breathing, but there was only so much a whole lot of breathing can do. I stared at Geoffry and opened my book when we were told to, writing down the topic of freeze-thaw action, while trying my very best not to think about any one thing in particular. Doodles of ice soon began to mix with the words, until they replaced them altogether. I imagined icebergs, floating aimlessly in an ocean, while I happened to be standing on one of those pieces. It felt alone and lonely.

I tried. I really tried.   

    It felt like I'd forgotten something, something that I knew was important? A random thought hit me from out of the blue, something small and inconsequential. I stopped floating on an iceberg and I stopped half-listening to Geoffry's summer vacation.   

I forgot to take my Prozac. I could mentally picture them in my cupboard, unopened.   

And just like that, my world fell apart.   

     I didn't know how to describe it, only that it felt like I was falling, a mental vertigo. My hands seized up. My throat felt tighter and my breathing got a hell of a lot quicker. I couldn't help it and I couldn't stop it.   

"Percy?"   

     Geoffry looked at me, and so did everybody else. It was hard not to, wasn't it?   

"Can somebody get him a paper bag to breathe in?" He asked and turned back towards the board. This wasn't the first time he had seen a panic attack.   

*   

     Forty minutes: I was back for forty minutes and I was already the talk of the school. As expected, my little episode spread across the place. I sat down in the cafeteria, on those annoying wheeled seats that moved no matter how hard you tried to stay still, trying my best to ignore everybody. I noticed the wide berth they gave me, too.  I just sat there and ate my half-prepared food in silence, replaying the moment I left my room over and over again. I was so used to taking the tablets that it should had been second nature by now. I remembered exactly where I left them in my room. Stupid.   
 
"Percy!"   

     Malcolm slotted himself next to me, his own tray of admittedly great-looking lasagna in his hands. I tried to smile. It didn't stick.   

"You heard?"   

"Yup. I'm sorry that happened."   

"Don't be. It was my own fault."   

     I just wanted to eat in silence, he was a sweetheart but his own social standing in this place was taking a hit just by sitting next to me. To his credit, he didn't try to start small-talk. We robbed pieces of each other's food. It looked a lot brighter outside, though you could still hear the rain. If it kept going the way it did, there could be some flash flooding. It was completely irrational, but I suddenly dreamt up a scenario where my home was flooded, our furniture floating away in an imaginary river. 

If it wasn't a piece of ice, it was imagining the bloody sea. I stared at the food on my tray and took a deep breath instead, banishing the thought. 

     By the time the bell rang I was used to the idea of being a laughing stock, so it didn't bother me all that much anymore. I was going to have to go to Math – lord knows I hated Math – so I didn't walk all that quickly to it as I shuffled through the same cream halls with a streak of brown on the left-hand side. I couldn't explain how I felt after one of those attacks, but my fingers felt shot through like I had been shocked, some little trace of phantom pain still lingered, and my chest still felt tight. The only upside was that I no longer cared about what people were thinking or saying. 

"Percy!"

     I knew the voice and who it belonged to. Jeremy and I shared the same class, it seemed. The boy had a smile on his face but he looked at me with caution in his eyes. 

"Morning." I wasn't in the mood. 

"Hey, I heard about - "

"Everybody heard about it. I'm fine, just the first day back here. Don't worry."

"OK." He still worried, though. "Just wanted to let you know that I'm here, if you need anything."

     I should had been grateful - I wasn't exactly the most popular person in the place - but just looking at him brought back that memory. He dated a boy during the summer, though that seemed to have ended. Jeremy wasn't the kind to make a decision and stick to it. 

"Thanks."

     Maybe I should had given him more slack, but I walked past once I was done rummaging to my locker, hoping to keep myself together for the rest of the day. I took my seat inside of that small and cramped room and buried my head in the book while everybody else ignored me. It was covered in scribbles and doodles, so I decided to add a little bit more to pass the time. A new teacher came in, middle-aged and with a scowl. I didn't bother remembering her name, I already knew we were all going to hate her.  A few Venn Diagrams and algorithms later, and a few of us slogged towards Science. That wasn't going to be any better.   

Unfortunately, the one person I wanted to avoid happened to show up right in front of me: Adam.   

     A senior, taller than me by a full head. He was the reason why I dreaded coming back. He noticed me almost immediately, but I tried to keep my eyes away from him and act as if I had never seen him. I couldn't bypass him, and I wasn't going to be able to walk away, either. Mr. Geoffry passed me by, oblivious. I could had told him about this months ago. He would have been suspended, or even expelled. I could have told my parents. They would have reported it immediately. 

But it wasn't me he was after. I was trying to stop him from reaching someone else. 

     I tried to walk past him anyway – because what else was I supposed to do? - but he put one of his giant hands on me.   

     "Did we have a great summer?" He mocked, keeping up appearances, "All over the news again, eh?"   

     "I don't want to talk to you," I protested, but his grip was too damn strong. He could snap my collarbone if he wanted to. It was a really graphic thought.   

     "Maybe you forgot your manners after the holidays, so let me remind ya' of a few things! "He replied, growling under his breath. He looked like he was already sweating, cheeks burning bright red. The crowd was starting to get pretty thin now that everybody had gone to their next class. I began to shake a little bit, and I knew that Adam noticed that. As soon as the last person had left, I saw his stupid smirk spread across his face.   

     "Payment."  Protection money, he liked to call it. The only thing he was protecting me from was himself. I had it saved away for this exact reason - I made sure to save as much as I could so I could continue to bribe him for months - so I reached into my pocket to get this blackmail over and done with.   

"Excuse me?"   

     Her voice came from nowhere. Adam was just as surprised as I was, because we both turned to look at the girl in front of us, her arms crossed impatiently. I'd never seen her before, her eyes were incredibly smoky, her hair a mixture of colors and cut short.   

"Am I... interrupting?"   

     "Not at all," Adam replied, letting go of my shoulder while he said it, "never seen you 'round here before, and you are..."   

     "Look, I just want to know where to go around here. "   

     "Oh, I know where we can go..."   

     She rolled her eyes, grabbing me by the arm and yanking me away from him. I didn't mind.   

     "He a friend of yours?" I started to notice an English accent. Foreign student, then.   

"Nope."   

     "What do you think you're - " Adam was about to say, but she moved between myself and him.   

     "No offense, but I'm going to take your boyfriend now. Okay? Okay."   

     She pulled me away, but when I turned to face him, he stood exactly where he was, still smirking...   

 -Hannah-  

     I hated the rain; it was cold, it was wet and it made a mess. I walked through it in the dead of night, shivering and hoping that actually moving would make things better. It didn't. It would be another twenty or so minutes before I'd even make it to my house.   

     I had to do things before I left. I needed to say goodbye to friends. I had to visit my haunts one last time and make sure the memories were imprinted into my head. At least a camera remembered things in much greater detail than a pair of eyes. I was leaving this city for a reason. I never wanted to go, and the reason why waited for me in our living room. I needed to take one last stab at convincing my Dad to leave me behind. It wasn't going to work, but I had to try.    

"Hannah!"   

Bloody hell.  

     I heard him before I saw him; it was faint at first, but steadily grew louder until he was right behind me, and he wasn't going to leave me alone. Henry had a reason, though. I just broke his heart, after all. I stopped – because what was the point in running? - before I turned around to face him. He was still in his pyjamas, the exact clothes he wore when I told him it was over just a few minutes ago. He looked a sorry sight; I didn't need that pull on my heartstrings.    

"Hannah."   

     "Henry, get in out of the rain. You're going to get a cold."   

"Hannah, please -"   

     "Don't."   

"You can't just do that to me. You don't just get to pull the plug on this and just leave."   

     "You think I want to? You think I bloody want to? I don't want to do this, you know. But guess who won their stupid divorce battle?"   

"What's that gotta do with anything?" He pleaded, his shirt clinging to his skin, I was really worried he was going to get seriously sick. "You can stay here, Hannah. You can stay here with me, you can stay with relatives, you can avoid your parents - "   

     "We've been through this, Henry. I'm sorry, but no." We were just outside of The Oliver Conquest. We had a few dates inside the place from time to time. I didn't want it to be associated with that particular memory, but it was too late to stop that now.    

     "There must be something we can do," he pleaded, and he sounded so much softer when he pleaded, "If you have to go, we can call each other. We can send letters. We can talk face-to-face. We can send presents! This doesn't have to mean we have to end things here." I knew what this was leading up to. I knew how he spoke.    

     "Don't say it." Now it was my time to plead. The reason why I stormed through London in the rain was because I couldn't face those three little words.    

"I love you, Hannah!"   

     It was his ace. The code-word and the answer. He knew that I loved him. I knew that he loved me, and that we were perfect together, that we had things figured out. 

     He knew it, damn him. 

     I looked right into his eyes, because I was told that was important in times like this. There wasn't a single soul on the street, because they obviously had the sense to stay out of the rain. Neither of us had a bit of sense - and maybe what I was doing didn't make any sense, either -  but it didn't have to. Henry needed a girl he could hold in his real-life arms, somebody he could see with his actual eyes.    

"I'm sorry. Goodbye."   

     I heard what he said after that, but I was already walking away. I heard his pleas turn into sobs. I heard him cry as soon as I turned a corner, and for once I was glad it rained in this miserable place. It meant that nobody could tell whether I was crying or not.    

*   

     As I expected, I didn't sleep a wink during the night. For starters, I blocked Henry on every platform, every single one of them; from E-mails to social media, his phone number removed. Each one was more painful than the last, but it was better that way. I messaged my friends outside the city and informed them of my very unfortunate move. One of them was Trish. I was going to miss that little red-headed minx the most. I was curled on my bed with cheap mascara running down my cheeks when I dialed her number. I didn't care that it was three in the morning and neither did she. 

'Hello?' She sounded like she hadn't gone to bed yet. 

     "I need you, sugar." 

'I'm right here, doll.' I couldn't remember when we came up with these stupid nicknames for each other; Trish was adamant that we watched a few westerns when we were younger, and simply adopted how the actors were addressed. I still believed to this day that I never watched a western in my life. I was going to miss arguing with her over that. 

     "I'm all packed up, ready to go... I told him." 

'It's not goodbye. You'll be back before you know it. We still have to graduate together and I won't accept anything less!' She sounded so optimistic about all of this, bless her. 

     "You'll look after him for me?" 

'I'm not his mother, Hannah. He'll suck it up and get over it, and so will you. I'll make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, though.' 

     "We're going to be in different time-zones, Trish..." 

'Like I said, it's not goodbye! Go over there, take some of those damn good photographs I know you can take, and come back to us so we can be jealous of our newly-ordained Yankee girl!' 

     "I'll get to work on the accent." 

'Please don't!' Trish was quick to respond, and I smiled. It was a sad smile but damn it was a smile nonetheless. 

     "I'm going to write to you and call you and generally just annoy you all day. You know that right?" 

'Doll, it's business as usual from my end! Now go get some sleep because I know what you're like when you're tired.' 

     "Heh, I'll try!" Even that short phone call was enough to make me feel just a little bit better, "Goodnight, sugar." 

     My makeup removed, I shuffled downstairs and made myself some beans on toast, because it was going to be a long flight and airplane food was going to be a pain. I switched on the TV - and then switched it off almost immediately because I suddenly decided I didn't want to waste my time with it. I looked like a mess, and John upstairs – I didn't want to call him 'Dad'– knew it. It was his fault, all of it. If he hadn't gone ahead and mess around with an American bimbo, we wouldn't be in this mess, and Mom wouldn't have disappeared behind her lawyers and have nothing to do with us.

     To top it all off, he had the audacity to pull me away from everything else I knew, from Henry. I was furious, and I was still mad when he made his way downstairs a few hours later, already dressed but with big black bags under his eyes. I wasn't the only person who couldn't sleep, but my hands weren't going to be behind a steering wheel. 

"Morning, sweetie." 

     I just glared at him, and with my black panda smudges I must have looked terrifying, because he disappeared not long after he saw that. After some more toast had been consumed, I  made more of a concentrated effort to wash my face and look like an actual person. The girl who glared back seemed like she had everything put together, there was no sign of the uncertainty and heartache underneath the surface. I practiced making a smug smile, the disconnect between what I felt and what I looked grew larger with every passing second. When I was wrapped up in enough clothes to beat the cold, I wobbled back down to the living room, my suitcase in tow. It was a modest little thing, enough for my laptop and a few clothes. My new US phone was also nestled smugly inside it. 

"You ready to leave?" 

     I walked past him because I wasn't in the mood to answer that ridiculous question, or to be awake this early. We got in his Jaguar and took off on the empty roads. The car had seen better days, even I could look after something like this better than he could. Soft music played through the speakers, a mix between elevator music and mixtapes nobody outside of the night shift had ever heard. 

"You're going to love it there!" he actually had the nerve to say to me, "It's so warm, and the people are friendly, and - "   

"A little too friendly, don't you think?"   

     He stopped talking to me after that.    

     We drove through the night sky, and I saw the sun just as it started to peep into view. It was the last time I was going to see a British sunrise in a long time. It frightened me.    

     It turned a little bit brighter by the time we actually made it to the place. We trudged along with our suitcases, my throat a little bit sore, but I guess that was what I got from walking out in the rain. Heathrow Airport at 5am was unusually busy; it was already filled with screaming kids and sleep-deprived families, and there wasn't enough coffee on the planet to help me get through that. The only thing even remotely of interest was the new Final Fantasy game that was plastered on ads across the floor. Our flight for LaGuardia Airport in New York was scheduled to fly in two hours, so while Dad went through the task of processing our luggage, I broke off to Ted Baker to get some time to myself. Some of the clothes looked fine, some of them could even look good on me, but it was just window-shopping. I was sure that there would be plenty of clothing stores over in the States and they would all be as average as this one. Eventually I had enough sight-seeing, I caught Dad as he waited for me, right where he said he would.    

"I was starting to think you were going to run off," he risked saying, trying to inject some sort of humor into this situation.    

"I'm still thinking about it." I answered, "Do we have to live with her, though? Don't you think that's just a little insensitive?"   

"It's complicated."    

"I bet it is."   

     We had to move through all the checkpoints and metal detectors - I was randomly searched, because of course I was -  before we were finally allowed to board. Once we did, we found our seats on the right-hand side of the aircraft. Credit where it was due, Dad had the sense to fly first-class, but it was obviously a big chunk of cash even for his middle-management paycheck. He let me sit by the window, just like they did when I was a little girl when we flew off to countries in Europe. It was actually a woman in Pisa – probably a college student with multicolored dreads – that gave me the idea to color the hair the way it was now. I smiled at that thought, things were a whole lot simpler back then. After the flight assistants advised us about what to do in the event of turbulence and imposing death, I heard the engines as they vibrated through the plane, and I knew that this was it. We were ready to leave.    

     Well, I wasn't.    

     Our plane turned as it moved towards the runway, it darted along the tarmac and before I knew it, we had taken off. I reclined into my seat, realizing that it was well and truly too late to do anything about the move, and watched as the United Kingdom beckoned below us. It disappeared behind a blanket of clouds, and I lost interested in the outside world.    

     "I'm coming back here, you know." I warned him, making myself more comfortable in my seat as I reclined, "As soon as I turn eighteen, I'm hopping on a flight back, and I'm going to sort things out with Mom."   

"You'll never know, you might like the States."   

"Right, can you stop trying to win me over to this? The only person I'm angrier with is Mom, because she dumped me here with you. Leave me alone."   

     "Honey, can we just have a nice flight? Look, we can talk about this all you like once we actually land, OK?" We were definitely going to talk about it. As soon as I got through to Mom and convinced her to take me back, I was going to hop on the first plane out of there. I didn't care how much work Dad had done to transfer me to a school there. I stared outside the window again and gazed at the blanket of white.    

*   

"Hannah...Hannah, wake up. We're landing."   

     I felt the descent - I just didn't want Dad to know I was awake - but I opened my eyes and swore silently to myself. My neck was sore, ditto the hand I rested my head on. I regretted not bringing a pillow or something softer along for the ride.    

     New York looked annoyingly pretty, even when covered in the same sort of weather as it was in the UK. The skyscrapers looked completely foreign to me, reflecting what little sunlight that managed to break through the clouds. Our plane hobbled slightly, a sign of turbulence. Even though I knew we weren't in any real sense of danger I gripped the hands of my seat tightly. I hadn't flown in a long time. Dad fetched everything in reach, stuffing what he could inside his bag. The family ahead of us had a lot more fuss then us; their baby cried and cried, and their mom – an overweight woman but with a face that looked annoyingly sweet and sincere – apologized to us for their little George. I couldn't hate a woman whose face turned red in embarrassment. To their credit, George stopped wailing as soon as he saw me – or my hair, to be more specific. His big green eyes just stared at it, much to his parents' relief.    

     "Oh, bless th' lawd! Thank you, sweetheart!" She shouted with a heavy accent. It took all I had not to squinch my face at the sound of it. I guess I was going to have to get used it from here on out. I thanked her as her child tried his best to grab my dyed locks but was dragged away before he could do too much damage. Dad just chuckled beside me. I only smiled for George's benefit.    

      We landed at the airport. I would have loved to have known what time it was, but the drastic time difference meant that I couldn't tell whether it was morning or evening. It read 1:50pm on my phone, but I was too groggy to do some quick math. We waited until George's family had left before we got out of our own seats, and that was when I realized just how numb my legs were from sitting for so long.    

"How do you feel now?" Dad asked, slightly concern in his voice. I must have looked a bit groggier than I felt.    

     "Doing OK. Need to pee." I didn't. I just didn't want to meet my Dad's former mistress and current fiancé. That's why I was annoyed at myself for falling asleep; less time to mentally prepare myself. We shuffled along with the rest of the passengers until we were outside of the stuffy and slightly claustrophobic aircraft and into LaGuardia itself. It was much smaller than Heathrow, and everybody spoke in the same sort of accent that immediately grated my nerves. I wasn't sure exactly how long I was going to last here. I followed Dad until I saw the first available bathroom, and beelined for it while he waited in the nearest café. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and moved towards the mirror. Sure enough, I looked like a damn mess; there were big dark circles under my eyes and my hair was in multicolored knots. I spotted my natural brunette color coming from my roots, so I was going to have to touch up on them.

     Maybe my future stepmom would help me, it would give us the quality time I would need to ask her why she ruined our family the way she did. I didn't have all day, so I walked outside and found him tapping his feet while he stared at his watch, impatient.    

     "Hurry, she's waiting outside!" He whispered to me, gently pushing me through the crowd. It was one of the worst possible things he could do, but there were far too many witnesses to see what I wanted to do to him. I walked a little bit faster, ready to face whatever was waiting for me out there.     

     I wasn't ready for her. Not by a mile.   

     While the rest of the entrance was covered in dreary gray steel and concrete, she stood out like a big ray of sunshine. It had to have been her – there were only taxis to either side of her – and she wore the warmest shade of yellow I had ever seen. Her Audi was a different shade, but with the greyness around us it was almost like she was repelling the damn rain with her optimism. Her smile was huge, and it was on full display once she saw my Dad. I was gobsmacked. I couldn't see what this actual goddess saw in my slightly overweight father, but she walked over to him in some pretty serious high heels and kissed him. He looked ecstatic. I was too shocked for words.    

     "So, this is your little girl?" She squealed, drawing her attention to me, "I'm Jessica, you have no idea how thrilled I am to meet you!" She ended that sentence like a question, and the accent was still there but tinged with...something else. She was flashing her big wide smile at me; it was impossible to hate her.    

     "Hannah," was all I said, and my voice broke a little when I said it. Not the best first impression, to be brutally honest.    

     "Don't worry, I know what it's like after you step off a plane! Go sit in the car, we don't live far away so it won't take too long."  Sure, I had spent almost eight hours sitting down, but I carried my stuff into the back of her car and marveled at the leather I was sitting on. It smelled like a brand-new car. It probably was. I watched them wrap themselves around each other for the whole airport to see.    

What the hell?    

     Once they had finished locking onto each other, they joined me inside the car as we set off for our new 'home'. Dad blushed like an absolute idiot. I wanted to ask so many questions, but was content with looking outside at the city now that we were ground level. We passed quite a few buildings that reminded me of American sitcoms I watched as a kid, Jessica listed off some facts and figures about those she assumed we were interested in. There were simply too many pieces of trivia for my tired head to wrap around.    

"So, what do you like doing?"   

     It took a few seconds for me to realize that she was talking to me, right as we strolled through 94th St. The roads were laid out in a grid-style; no bends, just hard-left and rights. The rain had turned into a slight mist which obscured my vision somewhat, but I still made out the trees with their bare branches, and the small homes on the other side of the street.    

     "Um, I like reading?"   

"What kind of novels are you into? You can't beat the classics. I'm on Wuthering Heights at the moment."   

     So, she was heavily interested in British works. It helped explain why she was interested in my excuse for a father.    

     "Um...John Green and David Levithan for me."   

"Oh, Young Adult?"   

     "Yeah."   

"You know Rachel Cohn?"   

     "I do!" I answered, pleasantly surprised. Cohn worked with Levithan on several novels, but I never actually read any of her own work. "You have anything of hers?"   

"I might have something laying around and if not, we can hit the shops and see what we have."   

     "That...that would be cool."    

     I saw Dad smile from the vanity mirror he pulled down in front of him. He must have put her up to it. I scowled at him from the back of my seat. I almost allowed myself to be won over. She was going to have to do a lot better than that. Traffic was an absolute pain. While we were gridlocked in the jams, I asked a few questions about the place, if it was really as glamorous as TV made it out to be. Jessica answered as optimistically as was humanly possible, but I followed the news and was aware of the shootings that happened over the past few months.

     It was another factor as to why I never wanted to come here.

     We drove towards the Queen's Midtown tunnel, encapsulated from the outside world. Bright orange lights zoomed past, and I couldn't think of any other questions. I really started to feel the exhaustion now, and before I knew it, we had parked in a completely different part of New York. I must had dozed off for longer than I thought. I really needed a bed.    

"Well, this is it! Home sweet home!"   

     Jessica opened my side of the door; I stretched my legs once I actually found the strength to stand up and took a look at where I ended up. A sign read 69th St, and the buildings were easily five storeys long, blocking out any hope for the sun to shine. She strolled towards her own home, fed the key into the door and opened it for us.    

     "Whatcha' think?" Dad asked, just as he fed me my suitcase from the back of the trunk. He was absolutely beaming, like that eight-hour flight meant nothing to him. I remembered feeling like that, back when Henry...   

     "I want to sleep." It was like I forgot about what happened yesterday. At least Dad didn't throw any follow-up questions. I heaved inside, grateful that I was finally indoors. "So, which floor is ours?"   

     Jessica laughed in another room. Dad smirked at me like I had cracked some grand big joke.    

"Honey, she owns the entire building."   

     "Of course she does," I whispered. I was too tired to be shocked; I just needed a bed to crash on. "Any idea where my room is?"   

"Second floor, on the right."   

     "I can show you where your room is, sweetie."  Jess called from the kitchen, strutting towards us once she had her hands free. I felt compelled to follow her upstairs, which was a workout routine in itself. Those steps were steep, no wonder she was in such good shape. 

     "Now I'm no interior designer," she started, the sound of her hooves/stilettos echoing through the first storey hallway, "but I did a little decoratin' in your room to make it real nice, I hope you'll like it." 

     Once I opened the door, I realized that it was huge, easily bigger than its London counterpart. She even included a damn canopy curtain for my bed. It was a nightmare to look at but I smiled that fake smile I practiced in front of my mirror this morning. Jessica watched me, hoping I was displaying the correct amount of bewilderment and awe. Credit where it was due, everything else actually looked alright. 

"I love it." I hated the bed. 

"Go make yourself comfortable. We'll just be downstairs!" 

    I took her advice and absolutely made myself comfortable, drew the canopy back and heaved my suitcase onto the blanket. I sat cross-legged as I peeled it open and fetched my new phone. It was a basic affair, nothing fancy. I slotted the new SIM card into its slot and watched as the screen winked to life. I needed to export all of my old contact details onto it, and I had to get in touch with Trish as soon as I could. She was going to be jealous of the view from my bedroom window. 

*   

"You're just goin' sight-seeing around the building today. Get to know the folks who run the place and they'll talk you through all the courses. You call John if there's any issues, OK?"   

     Jessica looked as great as she had the day before, that same smile shining bright as ever as we drove towards Maspeth High. The place was one of the highest-rated schools in the state, and it opened in 2011. If I was going to hell, I deserved to pick the most modern-looking hell I could. I was going to have to rely on public transport from now on, but that meant less time away from the lovebirds.    

"Sure."   

"Anything else you need? You wanna stop by a shop and get some food?"   

"No seriously, I'm fine. Thanks Jessica."   

     "Call me Jess!" She quiped, right when she parked by the building. I saw a whole flood of kids as they poured into the place. "Want to go to that bookstore once you finished up here?"   

"We'll see Jess, thanks for driving me all the way here, you really shouldn't have."   

     "Oh, it was my pleasure." It wasn't. It couldn't have been a pleasure. I tried my damn hardest not to make it a pleasurable experience. I opened the door, already soaked from the rain. The bad weather had obviously come along with me.    

"You need anything, give me a call!" 

      I promised her that I'd be fine and that I was a perfectly-functioning girl who could look after herself - in a nice way - and did my own little half-smile before I shut the door. The rain forced me to run towards the door, pushing other people aside as I tried to get in. They all looked absolutely miserable, although that was probably expected on the first day back. I looked for any sort of receptionist at the front desk, and tried my very best to appear like I actually cared about where I needed to go. The woman who sat across from me seemed to share the same sentiment.    

     "Can I help you?" She asked in the least genuine voice I had heard in quite some time.    

"Hi, I'm Hannah. I called about transferring during the summer."   

     "I wouldn't know anything about that."   

     "Would you mind pointing me towards someone who would?" She scowled at that, was my charm rubbing off the wrong way?   

"I'm sure the Principal will be more than happy to help you, just follow the signs to the office."   

     I thanked her, but she was already done with me – which was fair enough – so I started exploring the place a little bit. It was huge, the white-on-white-on-white was a nice touch, but nobody seemed all that interested in talking to me. I found some of the signs that would lead me up the yellow brick road, so I moved upstairs and followed them from corridor to corridor. It was easy to get lost in this place, not exactly a position I wanted to be in. I kept stopping to look closely at the signs so I would have some sort of bearing on where I was. It was a good thing I did, because I turned into the wrong corridor because of it leading to a dead end. I was just about to turn around, until I saw what was going on.    

     There were two guys just hanging out by the end of the hall, but only when the rest of the students disappeared had I realized what was going on. God, he looked absolutely terrified standing next to that much-taller goof. Worse, he was handing him money. At least, I thought it was money. Was he bribing this giant for some reason? He didn't look like he really wanted to hand it over.    

     "Excuse me?" Might as well kill two birds with one stone; get that guy away from him, and use him to guide me to the Principal. The pretty boy turned around pretty quickly when he heard me. The tall one just looked stupid and disinterested.    

"Am I... interrupting?"   

     "Not at all," the walking tower answered, his voice was a whole lot gravellier than I thought it would be, "never seen you 'round here before, and you are..."    

"Look, I just want to know where to go around here. "   

"Oh, I know where we can go..."   

     To be honest, I had more than enough of that guy as it was, so I just decided to grab the boy I needed and leave. He struggled for a moment, before he probably realized that I was a much safer bet out of the two of us.    

     "He a friend of yours?" I asked, and all I got as an answer was a "Nope". Not much of a talker, then. It had its upsides.    

     "What do you think you're -" He cried out like I'd taken one of his favorite toys, but I cut him off, moving much closer so he can see just how disinterested I was in him.    

"No offense, but I'm going to take your boyfriend now. Okay? Okay."   

     I could have let him talk, but I really needed to get going and I wanted to take this guy along with me. I pulled him along until he managed to walk beside me on his own accord, although he kept turning his head back. I made sure we were far enough away before I decided to speak.   

"So, is he actually your boyfriend?"   

     "What? N-No." He squealed, genuinely caught off-guard.    

"Then why are you hanging out with him? It's obvious you don't want anything to do with him."   

"It's...complicated."   

     "Bullshit," I responded, impatient and not in the mood to listen to that, "if he's bothering you, then speak up about it. Don't give somebody like that money, for Christ sake!"   

      His hands started shaking when I said that. He breathed quickly...but then he seemed to catch himself.    

"You're right...thanks."   

"Listen, I need to get to the Principal. Mind walking along with me?"   

"I... I really need to get to class."   

     "Can you just point me in the general direction of the place?"  He pointed towards the opposite end of the hall, but I noticed that he always seemed to look away from me, no eye contact whatsoever. Weird.    

     "Well, you've been a big help. Thanks."  I began walking away from him. He was definitely late for whatever class he was meant to be in.    

     "Hey!"  He called out.   

"Hm?"   

     "My name's Percy. Wanna...wanna hang out after school?"   

"Hannah, and not today I'm afraid. Tomorrow?"   

      He smiled weakly; it reminded me of...somebody. "Sure."   

 -Percy-  

     The rest of the day played out like it usually did; classes came and went, topics were covered and certain people avoided. Despite all that, the only thing I thought about was that girl. She came out of nowhere, and I couldn't stop picturing the colors in her hair. I saw her in the middle of a crowd - she was impossible to miss - but she was always speaking to other people. We almost ran into each other once or twice, but she marched forward before I had a chance to say hi, getting on with her day like everybody else.

     Adam was going to be a big problem this year - I asked Craig and Alexander for help, but there was only so much they could do behind a computer screen in other states. I always ducked away or took another corridor to stop from bumping into him again. By the time I ran into Malcolm, my hands were sweaty and shaking - the good kind of sweaty and shaking. I felt better than I had most days - but he glared at me for a few seconds.  

"Doing OK there, bud?" 

"Wait, why?" 

"Looks like you've seen a ghost." 

     "Did you see the new girl?" He shook his head. "Yeah. She transferred, I think. She had an English accent." 

     "That's great," Malcolm stared at me, a little confused.  

"She's real, I promise!" 

     "I believe you!" He joked. I just rolled my eyes and walked alongside him. The hall was full - which was usually the case when the final bell rang  - and we left our first day back at school without any real casualties. The rain managed to fade a little bit, so it was actually possible to walk home without the possibility of drowning. Jack wasn't around - he pulled the travelling excuse just like I knew he would - so we'd have to put off our reunion until my parents flew off on their next business venture. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, I was looking forward to having some time to myself.    

I needed to take my damn Prozac.    

     My first destination was the food store on my block, I had to buy some groceries to replace the ones I'd used, and needed the extra pair of hands that Malcolm had. It was cramped, and usally stank of slightly-off fruit. I was pretty used to that smell by now, Malcolm wasn't. Pretty soon our fingers were burning from the weight of the bags.    
 
     "Percy!" He spotted some guy across the street. This one had a really scruffy beard and a tank top. That took dedication, considering the weather.    

     "Still not my type," I commented before he could even say anything.    

"Then what is your type?"   

     "I..." I didn't know. I really didn't. I liked boys but there were never any set parameters. There weren't any famous people I was attached to, but there were a few exceptions.  "I'm not sure."   

     He couldn't keep his eyes away from the guy, even after he passed us. It wasn't subtle. I shook my head. Poor Malcolm.    

     "So, talk to me a little more about this girl." He asked, over-encumbered with bags. "Get a name?"   

"Hannah?"   

     "Hannah, reminds me of Kill Hannah," he replied, probably referencing a band I hadn’t heard of, "said you're hanging out with her tomorrow?"   

"I think so. Not sure I'm the type of crowd she normally hangs out with."   

"So? No harm in showing her the place, get a good first impression?"   

     "Yeah," It wasn't going to work. She probably already heard about my episode, and she'll ignore me like almost everybody else.    

     We made it to my place by the time the sun started to break through, which didn't matter much because it was starting to hide behind the buildings. I fumbled for my key while Malcolm handed me the rest of my groceries.    

     "You got an hour or two to kill?" I asked, opening the door. I was instantly hit with the smell of something stale. I must have left some unfinished food lying on a plate somewhere. I immediately regretted my question.  He obviously couldn't smell the same thing, so he hopped inside while I shut the door behind me. 

"Sure, as long as it's literally an hour, gotta get back to my folks at some point."

     Malcolm threw himself on the couch, taking up as much space as possible while I unloaded the shopping. The TV was switched on and played in the background while I threw some cans into the cupboard. The last pizza in the freezer was too tempting to ignore, so the packaging was unwrapped before it was placed in the oven. We had some small bit of homework to do, so we sat opposite each other with books thrown in a random formation. Geography was tackled first, because we needed to read some maps and I was atrocious at it.  

     "Any news from Craig and Alex?" He chimed in. Malcolm came along with me for Comic-Con. He had a thing with Craig, but swore to me that nothing had happened. I'd believe him if he said that without a sly smirk.  

"Alexander, and spoke to him yesterday. Going back to school, pretty bummed about it." 

"Aren't we all, Alexander!"  

     "We need to visit Ohio." Here I was, planning these imaginary journeys with my imaginary money. Still, I visited the place when I was younger. It was as good a place as any.  

     "One of us needs to win the lottery." Malcolm advised me. That also involved money. I reminded him about that.  

     We spoke about life in University. He wasn't so sure if he wanted to do it at all - it would involve taking out loans that would take years to pay off - and wanted to become a professional gamer instead. I told him that he needed to be good at games to pull that off, but he retorted that.  

     "I don't have to be good if I'm deliberately bad!" I couldn't fault his logic.  

     His parents were holding a service in church on Sunday. Most of his family planned on visiting his home over the weekend, which drew their attention away from their son. All of a sudden, Malcolm stopped smiling. It usually happened whenever they came up in the conversation, I saw it time and time again. He wasn't strictly allowed to visit my place, or to see me at all for that matter. He laughed and played along of course, but it was clear that his situation wasn't something to joke about. I asked if he wanted to stay the night, but I knew the answer before he even said it. Jack was a safer bet, right up until they called his parents about where their bundle of joy was sleeping. Malcolm never gave them his number, which made it all the creepier. 

     "The house is always free!" I told him. He stuffed his things into his bag, the thing was bursting at the seams. He obviously wanted to stay longer, but he had to make an alibi as it was. The longer he was out, the less convincing it was going to be.

"You're such a Gentleman!" 

     He showed himself out, promising to catch up with me in the morning. I closed my eyes once the door was closed, a sudden weight lifted from my shoulders. I needed to take my medication. 

     They were right where I left them, untouched. I popped it open and felt a single tablet as it dropped into my hand. A glass of water later and it was done and dusted. Next was the unenviable task of making dinner for myself and making sure the place was presentable when my parents decided to come home again. I set up a video on the laptop so I could follow it when I cooked for myself. I was by no means a chef, but I knew how to throw herbs and ingredients into a bowl and mix them like my life depended on it. I wanted to make a sort of deconstructed lasagna, so the mince simmered away happily while I tried to follow the rest of the cooking video. My result wasn't an exact replica, but it was damn near acceptable. I rested the plate on my lap while watching TV and thought about what happened today.    

More specifically, I thought about Hannah.    

     There was something about her... I wanted to talk to her, get to know more about her...then shied away from the thought. We just met and I already fell hook, line and sinker.  I tried calling Dad instead to get an idea on when they'd arrive, but the number rang out. They must had been at the airport in Munich. I wasn't complaining too much. The last tiny bit of homework was finished inbetween messaging Jack about our next scheduled meeting. He promised to hang out with me tomorrow to help with looking for societies. I wasn't sure I was in the mood for joining one this year, but I accepted his help. It was ten in the evening by the time I laid in bed, exhausted. The last thing I thought about was, unfortunately, Adam.

I knew he wouldn't forget what had happened, and Hannah didn't know why I was paying him...    

*   

     Today was different; the weather had completely changed, cold autumn sunshine that did little to heat the air but was pretty to look at. My parents were on their way – they were due to land in New York any minute now – so I enjoyed what was left of a free home and stuffed as much food as I could into my lunchbox while music blared from the TV.  I wanted to fetch a bus - I hated trusting my life in the hands of public transport, but I hated being late even more - and while it took its time to show up at my stop, I occupied myself by standing in front of the sun and caught some rays. I actually remembered to take my tablets this time, so I felt a little bit better by the time the bus came around. It was cramped - it always was - but I was lucky to find a window seat at all, right in the middle row where the sun would shine for most of the trip. I kept myself to myself and just stared outside, focused on nothing in particular. There was chatter everywhere; the usual complaints about starting school again, the things people did over the summer and the plans they had for the weekend. I didn't have to worry about that for the time being.    

     We made our stop with time to spare. I trudged out of the bus and moved inside, because it was still warmer than out in the open. My bag was starting to dig into my shoulder, I was glad we were getting a new locker during the day, and Jack no doubt had a lot of stories about Minnesota during the summer.    

     Unfortunately, I just happened to bump into Adam.    

     He hung out with a few more of the seniors at the foot of the stairs, but I caught his eye the moment I walked in. His face lit up, a gleam in his eye that sent shivers down my spine.    

"Where's your girlfriend?" 

     I couldn't think of anything else to say. Adam just looked amused.

"We need to talk about yesterday."   

     "Look I'm sorry, I didn't realize she was - " He didn't even give me time to finish my sentence. Adam leaned in closer, close enough that I could smell the cigarettes from his breath.

     "Well it's gonna to be $20 a week from now on!"  He didn't even give me time to reply. Instead he just smirked and turned his back on me, laughing with his gang as they disappeared down the hallway.    

     I had to find out how they knew about Malcolm. 

     "Hey." It was Hannah; she just made it inside the door, her hair completely covered by a thick wooly hat so I didn't recognize her at first. Thankfully she hadn't seen the conversation I just had.    

"Oh hey, how're you keeping?"  My voice broke, trying to sound like I wasn't bribing one of the biggest guys in the entire school.

     She took a look around the place, and shrugged. "Well, it's my first official day of school in the US so, a little nervous. Mind being a tour guide for this girl?"   

     I didn't expect that. "Oh... yeah sure, you know what your first class is?"   

"History, I think. Nothing I hadn't already covered back home."   

"Oh, that's my first class too! C'mon, I'll show you."   

     She tagged along with me while I showed her where to go. History was a double period - which was an absolute chore -  but she seemed to be invested in the subject. There was nothing to get too excited about – it was a small room that tended to get stuffy and hot – but she kept asking me questions and I tried to answer them. She even sat next to me once we made it, something that stunned everybody else. She must had picked up on it, but decided to ignore it.    

For the first time in a long while, so did I.    

     I wasn't sure if it was the Prozac, or if it was Hannah herself, but I just didn't seem to care about things that nearly crippled me the day before. Maybe it was because I was keeping up appearances for her. Nobody could make such a drastic change in someone over such a small period of time, right?   

Right?   

     Classes moved just a little bit quicker when she sat next to me. While I tried scribbling down notes, she whispered about how things were different here compared to the UK. She was amazed at the touch-screen board on the wall and asked how expensive it was. We held a fundraiser for the damn thing, it involved selling tickets out in the middle of the city for a theatre production - Jeremy played a big part in it - but I was stopped when she very proudly announced that she didn't really care about plays and drama. She asked if it was always this stuffy in the room. I told her that unfortunately, it was. She moaned and slid back into her chair. 

     "Trish would hate this." She whispered, pretending to pay some sort of attention but with her phone by her side and hidden from view.   

"Trish?" 

"Friend of mine. Hair turns into an afro at the slightest hint of humidity. Trust me, it's a sight to behold!" 

     She spent the rest of the class messaging people, so I let my hair cover my eyes and watched the time as it passed. When History was finished, we walked together towards Science - she hated the subject - and spoke more about the school that she went to and how Maspeth looked so much better. 

     "It's still a prison, but a classy prison, know what I'm saying?" I didn't, but I nodded along anyway. 

     We landed in the next room,  but she didn't even have the time to find a seat before a few girls introduced themselves, complimenting her hair. She spent all of Science whispering to them and getting their backstories, so I kept to myself and doodled on my page. Even the sound of her voice was enough to make me smile. That, or the medication was really doing its job this morning. 

      The rest of the day played out exactly like that; any class I shared with her was spent keeping quiet and listening to what she had to say, umming and ahhing when I needed to respond to something she said. She told me that I reminded her of somebody back in the UK. She promised that was a good thing. I noticed that Aisling was one of the girls who introduced themselves. She glared at me as soon as I saw her, which took the shine off of an otherwise great day. 

Other than that... 

     The final bell rang a lot sooner than I thought it would. The day just flowed and ebbed in a way school days never should. We walked down the hall together, she seemed to be in a good mood.   

     "So, wanna hang out?" She asked, feeding her hair into her hat. I almost forgot that I asked that.    

"You still want to?"   

     "Is there any reason why I shouldn't?" That was dripping in dry sarcasm. If she wasn't smiling, I would have thought that was a serious question. I laughed it off just a little bit awkwardly.    

"Anywhere you want to travel to first?"   

"Some grub might be nice." 

"La Parada, then."

"Um, what?"  She didn't have a clue what I was talking about. "That one of those faux-Italian joints?"

     "Definitely faux-Italian. Closest place to get food, though." The wind picked up and it started to get a little chilly, the girl had the right idea with the gear she wore. I made a note to buy a hat of my own when I had the time and money.    

     "So, you spoke with the gentle giant again." She saw our conversation this morning, then.    

"Uh, yeah..."   

     "Any reason why you're still sucking up to him?" The anxiousness was long overdue, I felt my fingers turning tingly and numb, and it wasn't because of the cold.    

     "I'm not going to bite, you know," she obviously picked up on the way my expression changed, "it's none of my business, just genuinely wanna know."   

     "I'm not doing it for me." I tried to explain. "It's about someone else. I'm covering for them."   

"You're paying somebody for somebody else?"   

"Sorta."   

"Is it bad?"   

"Yeah."   

     She nodded to herself, "Well if he steps out of line – for you or whoever you're on about – I'll kick his ass!"   

     "I bet!" Hannah was all sweet now, but I was fairly confident she would find a way to cut him down to size. It just wasn't her fight.   

     Obliganda was full of customers, crammed into its small space. There was a strawberry smoothie with my name on it, but a wall of people between me and it. We sandwiched through a few of them just so we could make it to the counter, I grabbed that smoothie while she settled for an egg sandwich. Jackson took one long glare at me - obviously not in the mood to be there - before he went to fetch the food. We finally found two seats that we could squash together once the freshmen and sophomores left the place.   

     "So, tell me something about England." I started, amazed at my own courage.    

"Any particular part, or just the country in general?"   

"Where you from?"   

"London. Lived there 'bout ten years, moved from Sussex."   

"Did you just make that up? You meant Essex, right?"   

     "Percy, you idiot!" She answered, shaking her head and taking a bite out of her sandwich.    

"Why'd you move to London?"   

"Parents wanted to live in a bigger city, can't say that I blamed 'em. Went back to Sussex a few years back. Not a big fan."   

"Is that because it doesn't actually exist?"   

"I can probably beat the crap out of you too, bud. Don't test me."   

     "I'm looking this up right now," I joked. She genuinely punched me on the shoulder. It actually hurt, but I was laughing too much to care.    

"Comedians have more than one joke, just remember that!"   

"True, but I can just recycle it, like comparing it to Wonderland, or Narnia. Sussex sounds mysterious!"   

"Oh, it's mysterious alright. Take my word for it."    

     I noticed just how dark it got outside. It was still so early, but that was the beauty of the autumn months, I suppose. Hannah scrolled through her phone, smiling to herself. I cleared my glass and handed it back. They were busy closing up shop, so we were going to get kicked out sooner rather than later.    

     "Where'd you want to go first?" I asked. She thought about that for a second while she stood up, ready to go.    

"A bookstore, if you know of any good ones?"   

"I know one. It's a little far away."   

     "Nothing a bus trip can't handle," she countered. She was right about that, though I didn't want to tell her just how annoying I found them.   

     The cold didn't seem to bother her  - I wished the same could be said for me -  as we walked to the nearest stop, hoping it wouldn't take too long before one of them showed up. We stood next to a few more school kids, no older than ten years of age, looked after by an old and patient woman.    

     "I heard a little bit about you, Percy." She admitted quietly, looking right into my eyes when she said it. "You had some sort of panic attack yesterday?"   

     I felt the blood rush to my cheeks, I assumed this would be the spot where she would leave.    

"A little bit, yeah."   

"Is it something to do with the big guy?"   

"Not the whole picture. It's difficult to explain."   

"Some of the girls said some pretty bad crap 'bout you."   

     "I know," I admitted. They had a lot of stories to draw on.    

     "So why do you let'em talk to you like that?" She pressed. A bus turned a corner and parked itself in front of us. We let the kids ahead of us before we got on ourselves.    

     "It's just easier." In all honesty,  I knew that if I said anything it would just create more problems than solutions. "Besides, there's a bit of truth to what they say sometimes."   

     "Does it even matter? I was suspended for scruffing up a boy who had the nerve to steal my wallet, that kinda thing gives you a reputation. I'm used to people talking crap behind me, so I get it. Look Percy, I'm just telling you what I'd do if I heard anybody talk about me. Stand up for yourself a bit more."   

     "I'm not as tough as you," I answered, "but thanks."   

"Not many people are, and you're welcome!"   

     We drove right through Elmhurst, and we felt every single bump on the way. I hated the motion sickness that came from it, stopping and starting from time to time to let people on and off. I asked her more about that magical place known as Sussex. I was rewarded with another bump on the shoulder. She mentioned her hair and why she liked dying it so much, and offered to dye my own in some sort of peroxide purple.    

I declined.    

     We were dropped between 112th and 113th St, and Book Culture waited for us; I only visited once or twice, it was a bit out of the way but there wasn't a better bookstore in the city. I navigated past the cathedral and right through 112th while she stared at the high-rise apartment blocks in absolute wonder.   

     "They're just like on TV," she commented, twirling around like she was going to miss something. She fetched a camera from her bag, it was a pretty hefty-looking unit, taking snaps like there was no tomorrow.    

"We have houses in the States, yes."   

"Funny joke, Percy!"   

"Hey, you're the one who told me that comedians need more than one of them."   

"You're a clever boy!"   

"N'ah, I've just been listening."   

     Further up the street, we finally came across the store itself. Hannah walked right past it until I managed to grab a hold of her and turn her back in the right direction. I hoped she would love the place, and sure enough her mouth dropped as we walked in. The place was bursting at the seams with books; every table and shelf filled with paperbacks and hardbacks. The building seemed to stretch forever inwards, and there were only more books the further you walked. An enormous painting dominated a wall, about half a dozen figures with multicolored faces floating across the canvas. It was slightly unsettling.    

     "This place is amazing," she breathed, unsure of where to start. She eventually decided on a certain aisle before she disappeared behind novels and ceramic cups and plates. I followed her to the best of my ability, excusing myself and apologizing as I squirmed past other customers, before I found her with a book in hand – something from Frank Close.    

"Found what you're looking for?" I asked when I finally caught up to her. I thought she hated Science. 

     "Not even close." This girl was a lot different to the person who laughed and joked with me just a few minutes ago. She was fixated on the book in her hands.    

"Are you okay?"   

     "Not really, no." She answered, placing the book back delicately where she found it.    

"Wanna talk about it?"   

"No."   

"Okay."   

     I tried to lighten the mood; I showed her the YA section on the other side of the store and showed her some of the books I had at home. She seemed a little bit happier after that, but she wasn't fooling me. I wasn't even sure she was fooling herself.    

     "They don't have the book I was looking for," she sighed, exhausted, "I'm sorry but I think I just need to go home, OK?"   

     "Yeah, of course!" I responded, slightly concerned, "Want me to walk you home?"   

"Could you stay while I call my Dad?"   

"Sure!"   

We waited outside the bookstore while she called him. She sounded annoyed, though I tried to stand out of earshot. I genuinely wanted to ask if she was okay, but it wouldn't do any good. I kicked a small pebble of rock on the pavement while she wrapped things up.    

"Right, got my chauffeur. Can we rearrange this thing for when I'm not an absolute dud?"   

"I'm usually around."  I promised her. She smiled, pushing a stray strand of hair back into her hat again. It grew a little colder now that the sun was well and truly gone, I shivered a little. So did she.    

"You look after yourself," she said, and I took that as my queue to leave. I just waved and strolled off. I knew what cramped metal container on wheels I needed to catch, it was just a matter of seeing my jet-lagged parents fared after their lengthily trip.  

 -Hannah- 

Frank Close shouldn't have meant anything to me; I had no interest in physics, and I wasn't in danger of winning a Nobel Prize any time soon. The name was a reminder. 

A reminder of Henry. 

He loved collecting books he was never going to read; I had the exact book in my hands a few years back, when I jokingly told him he needed to return it.  I still thought it was a waste of money, but his goofy smile and kisses made me forget about the latest stupid purchase he made. We always had our fake little arguments about what he could study in university; he wanted to become a physicist, but he also dabbled in becoming an architect, a painter and a writer. That was the beauty about him, that he had to potential to be whatever he wanted to be. I loved him for that. 

I didn't want that memory to follow me here.    

"Are you okay?" Percy asked, clearly spotting something.

"Not really, no." Guess there wasn't any point in hiding it.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"OK."

     He showed me the rest of the store - it was amazing - but Close followed me everywhere I went. He noticed, but still showed me some of the books he had at home. No Rachel Cohn or David Levithan, it seemed. Guess this side of the pond didn't know what good writers looked like. Percy hung around while I called my Dad; a lot of stupid stuff was said about him. Some of the girls mentioned his panic attack in the bathroom, though I couldn't make out much else of what they said.

Couldn't say that I was a saint, myself - Who didn't love a bit of gossip? - but it didn't sit right with me.

     Once I was happy that someone was on their way, I tried to rearrange this sort of session with him. He wanted to meet up again, so I mustn't had been a complete disaster. The yellow Audi pulled up beside Culture about five or so minutes after he left.    

     "Where's Dad?" I asked, once I realized that it was just Jessica sitting inside it.    

     "He told me to come get you. You're not the only one who had their first day today!" She beamed. She really was just a beacon of optimism, wasn't she? I forgot all about Dad’s job, I had too much swimming around my mind as it was.    

"Oh."   

     "Find any good books in there?" I forgot that I was supposed to visit bookstores with her at some point.   

"I found nothing."    

     "Oh, that's OK sweetie, plenty more stores in the sea!" She continued, unaware of what that actually meant. We drove off, immediately gridlocked in traffic. It was to be expected, so I just leaned against the door and looked outside, focusing on nothing in particular.    

"Hannah?"   

"Hm?"   

"Are you doing OK?"   

"Yeah, why?"   

     "I just...want you to know that if you need anything, your father and I are here. I know what it's like to move to a completely different place. I wouldn't blame you for needing time to get used to things."  Now, if my Dad had said that, I would have fired off a quick one-liner about ruining my life, but I just couldn't bring myself to say something snarky to her. Instead I just rummaged through my bag and pretended to look for something.    

     We made it back home, after an eternity of stopping-and-starting again. I felt the crunch of falling leaves on the pavement when I ushered myself out of the car. I thought of Percy again, but that was mixed with the thought of Henry. He was nice, though, I had to admit. That clashed with the desperate need to get back home, and Percy wasn't nice enough to stop me. 

     That kept me occupied as Jessica opened the door for me, kicking the heels off her feet as soon as she went inside. Those shoes must had cost hundreds of dollars.  

     "I'm going to do some homework." I announced. I didn't hang around to hear her answer because I knew what I needed to do. I ran upstairs and threw my bag on the bed, while simultaneously reaching for my phone. I dialed Mom's number and held it up to my ear, hoping she would answer.    

     I needed to hear from her. I needed to try and find a way back home. It was all Frank Close's fault. It was all Henry's fault. It was everybody's fault!   

     It cut off. Immediately. I tried calling her again, but it terminated  just as fast. She was hanging up on me. She wanted nothing to do with me.    

     I wanted to send Henry a message... but decided not to bother. He didn't need me tugging at his strings. Instead, I directed myself towards Trish. It was a five-hour time difference, which shouldn't have been too much of a problem. I waited until she eventually answered, the sound of music in the background. 

'Hannah?' 

     "Caught you at a bad time, huh?" 

'Not at all! Honey tell me you have some gossip!' 

     I laughed, "Sorry sugar, you're going to be disappointed!" 

'That's not the Hannah I know! Give me all the details, any cute guys that you're speaking to? Actually...scratch that. Any cute girls that you're speaking to?' 

     "It's my first day there," I pointed out, "and you're already playing matchmaker!" 

'Someone has to do it, and I know for a fact that it ain't gonna be you!' 

     "Well, I had some guy show me around the place today." That set her off. Within seconds she had launched a hundred questions my way; What was his name? His hair color? Skin color? Interests? Hobbies? "Name's Percy, and you're getting way ahead of yourself!" I called out. I heard laughter on the other end of the line. 

'We'll see about that... I spoke to Henry today. You want me to update you on it?'  I thought about that for a few moments. I wanted to know how he was getting on, but it just reminded me of the book that was in my hands today, and all the memories that went along with it. 

'Hello?' 

     "Oh... sorry! How is he?" She noticed my slight pause. 

     'He's not a broken mess, honey. Guy's been walking the halls with a smile on his face. A group of mates are looking out for the guy. We spoke for a little bit, as well. Don't worry about him.'  It was... nice to hear. 

     "Thanks so much. Look, I need to get going. Talk soon." Trish assured me that she wasn't going anywhere. 

     There was a bit of actual work I had to do, so after I tried at least seventeen more times to call my Mom I just laid on my bed and did what little bit I could do with the History assignment. It would have helped if I actually had the book, but Wikipedia did its job. From time to time I fiddled with my camera, glancing at the photographs I took. They weren't my best - the angles were off - but the grey sky contrasted nicely with the brown and red brick of the apartments. I wanted to print them off and make a scrapbook of my time here, but one photo in particular caught my eye.  

     One of them included a clip of Percy, his mess of hair slightly blurry in the forefront of the picture. 

     His eyes were closed - you could tell that he wasn't a natural in front of the lens - but he just... fit. The picture wasn't complete without him, a necessary piece of subject matter. I wanted to hold onto it. I hadn't even realized the time until Dad came in through the front door. It was pitch-dark outside, even the night sky looked completely different somehow.    

     "Hannah? Dinner's ready!" I hadn't realized how hungry I was, either.    

     Jessica was in the kitchen, her hair tied up in a bun and with great big mitts on her hands. She held a casserole, fresh from the oven. It looked pretty elaborate.    

     "I should have helped!" I stated, "Call me down if you need anything, I don't like getting people to do things for me."   

     "Don't worry your pretty little head!" She chimed, right when Dad wrapped his arms around her, kissing her gently on the neck. I looked away, distracting myself instead with gathering the cutlery so I felt like I contributed in some way. It took a damn lot to coordinate the food that was put in front of us. I felt guilty.    

     "Thanks."  I really meant it. It was one of the nicest plates of food I had ever eaten. We all just ate in silence for a bit until Jessica asked Dad how he got on with his work. He apparently settled down pretty well. I stayed out of that conversation and just continued eating while he spoke about meeting his colleagues.    

     "What about you, Hannah?" He eventually asked, once he was finished talking about himself. I didn't really say much, but I used the fact that my mouth was full as an excuse. Jess decided to tell him about my escapades in Culture.    

"You went by yourself?"    

     "No of course not, I had somebody from the class show me around." I thought about Percy again.

     "Was it a boy?" Dad asked, digging a little deeper.    

"So, what if he was?"   

"I'm not saying anything."   

"You're saying something."   

     He smiled away to himself while he ate his casserole. I'm sure it was funny to ask since he knew I dumped my boyfriend of three years literally the day before, wasn't it? I stuffed my face with a bit more food so I wouldn't have to answer appropriately.    

     "Hannah, I've been thinking," Jess added in, "I know you're missing a few books for school, so if you wanted to take a day off tomorrow, we can go grab a few of them?"   

     "Should I be ditching classes the day after I started?" To be honest, I was starting to like some of the girls.   

"Well you need a bit of time to get used to things, you know?"   

     "Um... sure." She was such a happy ray of sunshine, it started to get on my nerves a little bit. I gathered the rest of the cutlery and filled the dishwasher with them, so it felt like I actually did something. I told them that I still had a little bit of studying left to do, so I excused myself and started heading upstairs, phone already in hand.    

     "Hannah..." Dad followed me, he sounded like he wanted to get my attention.    

"Yeah?"   

"I got a message from your Mom..."   

     I froze. The phone almost fell out of my hands.    

"Yeah?"   

"Hannah, she's asking you to stop."   

"What do you - "    

"Stop calling her, Hannah. She's asking you to stop... I'm sorry."   

*   

     It was cold; I guess it was to be expected, but for some reason I thought it was a good idea to head out in the autumn air in leggings. I blamed the heating at home for lulling me into a false sense of security, but I didn't want to turn around and tell Jessica that I needed to change again.    

     We walked through the city in the vague direction of Central Park. I wanted to touch there eventually, but still needed to get some more books for school. At least, that was the official tagline, I knew that Jess just wanted to guide me through the city in an effort to settle into the rhythm of things. It didn't help that I found it almost impossible to hate her. She wore a matching shirt/blouse combo, topped off with a thick fur coat. She also wore the biggest damn glasses I've ever seen, the kind to hide a hangover.    

     "Which store we hitting?" I asked, looking at the buildings and just how high they stretched into the sky. London had its skyscrapers, don't get me wrong, but the whole place just looked so different compared to back home that It felt like I was on vacation.    

I wasn't.    

     "The Corner." She replied, like I just supposed to get what she was saying. She walked like she was Audrey firkin Hepburn, a main character in her own movie, and we were the supporting cast, "That's just the start, though!"   

"I just want to buy books."   

"You don't want to go and get some food?"   

"I'm ditching school, I don’t want to feel like I'm having a good time."   

     The people who walked past us were occupied in their own little world: I watched one man bump accidentally into another, and a war of words escalated. Everybody seemed pissed off, like they were all recovering from the night before. The problem with a city that never sleeps is that everybody would be irritable and tired. Maybe Jess was right in wearing those glasses.    

     The Corner stood, unsurprisingly, at a corner. It also looked like an off-license until I peered through the windows and found the books waiting for us inside. A lady struggled with filling the shelves with new releases, she looked just as annoyed as the people outside. Jess strolled in and I followed close behind, surprised. It was lovely inside – oak shelving with an island with even more books in the center of the room. Jessica took off her glasses and looked around, satisfied. The woman liked her books, I could understand someone like that.    

     "Welcome, can I help you ladies?" Came a voice from the corner as the same woman approached us, abandoning her task. Her face transformed with a bright smile that rivalled even the woman beside me, maybe I made a mistake in judging her mood.    

     "We're just looking for a few things for school," Jess answered, equally courteous, " and a little something extra if they're around. She flew all the way in from the UK."   

     "How are you?" I added, contractually obliged to say something.   

     "A lovely accent!" She announced as she moved towards the floating island of books, "Please look around and call me over if you need anything, alright?"   

     I thanked her and moved towards the section that looked most likely to house the books I needed, leaving Jessica to make more small talk with the employee. They seemed to know each other by the sounds of things, plenty of talk about people and places.  My fingers traced over the paperbacks, a force of habit. The Science and English books were found easily enough, so I was free to visit the Young Adult section and browse to my heart's content. Unfortunately, there was nothing that belonged specifically to Rachael Cohn, though there were plenty of novels belonging to both herself and David. It was interesting to see that the US covers were different to the ones I brought with me, but I was still left empty-handed there. Sighing, I went up to the counter with my boring, school-mandated purchases. A few seconds later, and they were shoved into the bagpack I insisted on taking with me, instantly forgotten.   

     "So, tell me more about this boy!" Jess beamed when we left, wandering aimlessly on the sidewalk. They were really going all in on this.    

     "Like I said, he showed me around the place," I reiterated, "he was meant to show me more of the city... but I just wasn't in the mood."   

"He sounds lovely."   

     "He does, doesn't he?" Percy was definitely nice; I couldn't deny that.    

"Tell me about the UK, about London. I've been dying to visit!"   

     "There's not much to see. " I admitted, shivering when a stray breeze came from nowhere, "Don't believe the tourist boards, that's all I got to say."   

     "Did you have a lot of friends over there?"   

     I didn't know where she was going with this, "I had a few, yeah."   

"It must be terrible, a complete upheaval."   

     "You got that right..." The conversation got awkward. We kept walking nowhere, we were just going in circles. I realized now what she was trying to do, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. She bribed me with the prospect of novels.    

"Did you have a boy - "   

     "Yes, I did, and I had to leave him when I came over here, so now that you know that little nugget can we drop all of this, please?" I was a little too direct, a little too venomous, but she hit a nerve. Her smile vanished. She hid behind the safety of her glasses.  "Look I'm sorry, but Dad gets to be happy and I don't. I lost everything with this move, Jess."   

     "I know, sweetie. Look, I didn't want to... extract information from you, I just want to get to know you." It was impossible to hate her, damn it.    

     "I just don't want to talk about back home." I admitted, and through the glasses I could tell that Jess understood.    

"OK."   

"OK."   

     The rest of the day played out innocently enough; Jess tried to make it up to me by visiting a number of different bookstores, although Rachael Cohn was elusive in all of them. I was going to have to go online, it seemed. The sun picked up a little bit and actually did its job by midday, and we stopped by an ice-cream stall and got a cone of chocolate chip for our trouble. I talked about my amateur photography background while Jess pointed towards buildings and certain things that she remembered when she was my age. It surprised me when she said she actually came from Poland, and flew with her family when she was just a little girl. They'd since flown back home, though the ol' American Dream lingered for her. One of those buildings she pointed at happened to be Lady M Boutique; she recalled bursting through the glass door - plastered - and handed a lifetime ban for her trouble. That apparently happened twenty years ago and they still remembered her to this day. We passed a number of high-rise offices and she told me that she had her first accounting job in there, she eventually quit when she realized that her firm were involved in some pretty questionable practices with customer's private information.    

The offices were empty. She told me it was because those same customers found out what was going on.    

     It was mid-afternoon by the time we stopped visiting tourist sites and took a walk into Central Park. We took the 86th street route – there were so many streets – and it was nice to see a bit of greenery for a change. The leaves covered the pavements, multi-colored and brittle. They crunched underneath my feet.    

     "Thanks Jess, for this." I said. We were alone, with only the occasional car passing by as we walked. I was starting to feel a little tired, my legs felt heavy and sluggish...   

     "Hannah? Sweetie what's wrong?" I didn't have a clue what she was talking about, until I realized that my eyes were watery. I felt tears down my cheeks, and suddenly Jess's arms were around me. I was thinking about Mom, and what Dad had said the night before. I thought about Henry. I thought about everybody back home.    

I wanted to go home.   

“I gonna have to ask, Jess. Did you know he was married?”  

     “Hannah!” Of course, she was taken aback by that, but at that moment in time I just couldn’t control it.   

“Just tell me, please. No amount of books are going to fix this!”  

“That’s... private!”   

     “So, you knew?”  Her smile disappeared. Jess took off her glasses and glared at me.   

     “No, I didn’t know at the time.”  I realized I tipped her over, the optimism vanished. 

“Then why did you do it? Why did you invite him to live with you? After what he did?”  

“You’re too young to understand, but sometimes love is just that: love. You can’t help who you love, Hannah. I just wanted you to have a nice day. Do you even want me here or will I just head home?" 

     “I’ll get a bus." I said, abrupt and unexpected. "I just need to get a handle on things." 

“See you when you get back, then.”  

     Jess walked away, and the only feeling I felt right there and then was regret; I regretted the entire conversation, I regretted being by myself. I regretted everything. It got a little bit colder. I shivered even though my cheeks were flushed from the conversation. I watched as she walked off, a part of me wanted to run after her and apologize even when the rest of me knew she wouldn't listen. By the time she disappeared I started moving again, wiping my face with the back of my hand as I kept going. I had no bloody idea where I was and what bus would take me back but I just needed some space to think. Dad’s comment about Mom echoed around my head. 

Why did she hate me so much? Did I look too much like him? I was just unnecessary luggage no matter which one I ended up with. 

     I just walked with some heavy books in my bag, and for ten minutes that was all I did. People moved past me, the same people who looked like they would bite your head off if you so much as brushed past them. I felt a pit in my stomach. I wanted to sleep and forget about this miserable excuse for a day.   

Instead, I needed to see the one friend I actually made in this entire country right now, and that meant a trip to school: I wanted to talk to Percy.   

 -Percy-  

     I waited for a bus at the nearest stop, but it wasn’t going to be there for another thirty minutes. Ten of those minutes were spent checking my phone as more and more people piled up, waiting for the same reason I was. Something happened back there with Hannah. Did she recognize something in that book? Should I had done something? Should I had done anything? Was taking her to Culture a good idea? What if she didn’t want to speak to me now?   

    The thought of all those people made my legs tingle - the first sign of an attack - though it was nothing I couldn't handle. Instead of waiting around, I decided to take a quick breather and walked away from the crowd. That bus was late enough as it was, there wasn't really any harm in waiting for the next one. The sun dropped behind the buildings, making the streets a lot darker and cooler. I stared at my phone screen and nothing else; Craig put up a few snaps of Alaska, his face buried underneath a thick scarf. It looked like he found someone new, judging from the guy draped over his arm. Malcolm was in a cafe somewhere, taking pictures of his coffee. His entire online presence was coffee cups with hidden meanings attached to the pictures. He never told me what his quotes meant.

     An innocent message popped on my screen, I completely forgot it until I saw what was written:

     Hello! Your appointment at The Center for Western Queens is scheduled at 7:45pm. Please send 'OK' to confirm.' Was it too late for a detour to see Aveleira? She was used to my last-ditch cancellations by now. I just stared at the message for a few seconds, imagining two different scenarios. I wasn't in any rush to head home and say hello to my jet-lagged parents, and maybe my therapist could make sense about this whole thing with Hannah?

'OK'

    I walked in a rough circle, always within running distance to that stop. My breathing relaxed, and the pain in my legs eventually disappeared.  I had to relax; Hannah was fine and I would see her tomorrow and everything would be alright, no matter how anxious I felt. The buildings soon blocked out the sky. I stopped and closed my eyes and just took a deep breath. There was nobody else around. I could think.   

    I should had told my parents about Adam. He was a big problem, but if they did anything and Adam found out... 

    I was sick of thinking about the outcome, but it was a very real possibility. Malcolm had no idea what was going on, and he had enough to worry about without complicating things even more. I just had to keep Adam at bay before university, and then Malc would be free. That seemed like an eternity, a whole other lifetime from now.

    I waited until it got just a little bit too dark before I went back to that stop. I hoped it would be a little less crowded this time but when I turned the corner, I saw that there was already a bus waiting there, so I had to run before it closed its doors. By the time I actually sat in my seat I was winded, so I relaxed and watched as we took off and New York moved past my window. We made it to Queensboro Bridge  yb the time my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was Jack.   
 
“Hey!”  

     'Percy! How have you been? Long time no talk, my man!'  

“How was Minnesota?”  

    'Minnesota stinks, glad just to be back in civilization,' he replied with a laugh, 'but I wasn’t in the mood for school? How was everyone?' 

“Delightful.”  

    'Ah I bet! You up to much?' 

“Just heading off to see my agony aunt, then heading home. I actually have company this evening.”  

    'You mean your parents finally made it back home?'  

     “For a week. They’re back in Munich at the weekend.”  I didn’t mind them leaving me and going on another grand business venture, it was the way it had always been since I was big enough to look after myself, but somehow saying those words made the moment seem a lot... heavier than it actually was?  

'Bummer, guess you get to do whatever you want for a bit longer! Listen, I’ll talk to you in school tomorrow man, tell Malc I said hey.' 

     “Thanks, have a good one!” That quick call distracted me enough to realize that we had already crossed the bridge, back into my neck of the neighborhood. There were a few more houses under construction as we moved past, always under the cover of the bridge. Eventually we made it to Queens Boulevard, and my Elmhurst stop was just up ahead. I started walking again, aiming for 35th Avenue. The place was deserted, it gave me more time to think about Malcolm and to think about Adam and to think about Hannah.   

     Did I like her? No, it was way too soon to tell, and even if I did, she wouldn’t like me.   

     But maybe she could like me, but what happened if I saw another guy or another girl and I fall for them instead?   

     Was I going to find anyone?  

     It took me a while, but I reached the center with time to spare, not exactly a regular achievement. Two light bulbs lit the path to the entrance, the world of bugs danced around it, moving from bulb to tree to bulb again. One actually had the misfortune to land in my eye - especially unfortunate considering my hair was in the way - but I swept it aside with one quick flick of my finger before it caused too much damage. There was no-one around, just me and the bugs.

     Aveleira's office was always the second one on the left, third storey up. The counselor sat in her usual seat, surrounded by colorful nacks and figures that she gathered over the years. She used to tell me all about them when I was younger, how most of them came from Brazilian TV shows, cartoons she grew up with when she was a kid. Her face beamed when she saw me, like I was an old friend she hadn't seen in a while. That very last part was true, at least. 

     "Percy!" She chimed, her voice the loudest I'd heard all day. "Come, come! Have a seat!"

     I smiled and hoisted my bag off my shoulders, slouching myself into the usual seat. Nothing but a glorified office chair, the back support was awful, an actual wall. It wasn't entirely pleasant. Aveleira's smile was huge, so big that I wondered how it fit on just one face when I first saw her. Now I realized that it was one of the biggest things I liked about her. 

     "You haven't gotten any new toys in a while." I pointed out. 

     "Oh, that's going to change once I head back to Rio, just you wait!" She replied, a big laugh thrown in for good measure. "Looks like summer's over for now, eh?"

"I prefer it like that." 

     "A bit more color in the leaves, a change." She added, like she was trying to decipher just why I came to the decision. "When we spoke together in our last session, that was something you were coming to grips with. You've thought about it a bit more, I can see it in your face."

     "Actually, a pretty big change happened." I admitted. 

     "Oh?" Something like that didn't happen much in my life. Aveleira leaned forward, her hands resting against the desk that seperated us. "You don't sound sad about it."

     "I'm... not sure how I feel about it just yet, but it's something." I went into great big detail for the hour; I talked about Hannah, where she flew from - Aveleira loved accents - what she looked like, and what we did for the day. I didn't feel the need to talk about what happened between her and that book she held in her hands, the only dip in an otherwise pleasant day. 

     "She sounds like a lovely lady!" She wasn't wrong. 

     "Look, I'm getting ahead of myself." I back-tracked, hoping not to give her the wrong idea. "I just don't want to start... obsessing about her? I just showed her around for the day and it was... nice." That word kept popping up in my vocabulary. 

     "Nobody said a thing about obsessing, you want to spend time with this new person and that's alright! Did you feel anxious when you spoke to her, like you needed to keep the conversation flowing?"

"Well... no."

     "You're allowed to talk to people, and to feel completely natural when you do it. Don't think about the ifs and the buts and the whens and just take every day as it comes!"

     "I guess you're right." I said it with a sigh, but a small smile on my face. I didn't know how she managed it, but Aveleira could had read from a shopping list and it would have had the same effect in calming me down. I moved the topic away from Hannah for the rest of the appointment, talking instead about how I dreaded the exams - even when they weren't for another few months at the earliest - as well as my plans for the summer. I wanted to go to Comic-Con again, Malcolm and I had already began the mental preparations, hounding over the potential guest speakers and the panels. I bit the edge of my lip, the same edge I bit whenever I could feel myself lose track of my thoughts. It was a permanent blister, but it did the trick and snapped me out of it.

Aveleira noticed.

     "Just be sure not to get an infection!" I assured her I wouldn't.

     We planned for the next appointment; I wanted to stick to a bi-monthly schedule, so that when I got a part-time job I could actually afford to pay for my own sessions. She seemed quite happy with that, making my own grown-up plans with came with the whole package of being, well, an adult. By the time I left the building I felt a lot... lighter, like I got everything off my chest. That feeling usually faded by the time I turned the corner, but it stuck around long enough for me to get home, when the sun had disappeared entirely and the stars began to come out. I needed to take my meds for the evening. By the time I actually made it home I could see their gigantic tank of an SUV parked outside, the front door still open. They must have arrived not even an hour ago.   

Great.   

     The living room was a mess, letters opened and their envelopes scattered all over the floor. Cupboards were opened and shopping bags were on the counter. Mom moved as fast as she could, her phone cradled between her cheek and her shoulder as she multi-tasked. She didn’t even notice me, spilling off about facts and figures and probably already booking the next set of flights out of here. I waved at her, she caught sight of me and smiled, but never stopped the conversation. Dad was upstairs, probably dealing with unpacking the suitcases. I closed the door behind me, because it was getting just a little too cold now, and waited until her conversation ended.  

     “Percy! How's my little man?” She squealed. She moved in close and wrapped herself around me, kissing me on the cheek and doing what all mothers do – holding their children at arm's length while they took a good long look at their pride and joy. I looked anything but proud and joyous.   

“You look like you slept!”   

     “Only a little,” I admitted.   

“And you took your - “   

“Literally just heading upstairs and taking them now, Mom. I’m fine.”  

“Any news on the block? How’s Melinda?”  

     “Melinda’s fine. She’s a fifty-five-year-old gardener she’s not going to fall and break her hip anytime soon.” She always worried about her neighbors.   

“But if she does, you’ll know right away, right?”  

     “She has my number.” Of course, I told her about my Mom’s obsession with her safety. My neighbor was just as bemused about all of this as I was. Dad made his grand entrance, still wrapped with that suit he must have lived in for the past week. I looked much more his side of the family, especially when his side of the family haven’t slept in days.   

“Sport.”  

“Dad.”  

     “Busy,” he blurted, opening the door and heading outside and leaving all that cold air back in again. Mom unpacked the food while he unpacked literally everything else. Phones began to ring and soon they were both in the middle of conversations again. I took that as my cue to head upstairs and sealed myself in my room, shutting the door behind me as I slumped to the floor. My meds were found and taken in record time, the end of my daytime routine. It felt like I had crossed a finish line, like a mental weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I could relax. 

That feeling didn't last very long, but it didn't have to. 

     For the rest of the evening, I just stretched out on my bed and did my work while my parents walked past from time to time. Always talking, always planning. It must have been stressful working for where they work. I knew I wouldn’t last a week in a place like that. I sent my goodnight messages to Jack and Malcolm and closed my eyes, ending the day with a single thought.   

Hannah.  

*  

     Dreams were funny things.   

     They didn’t need to make sense. They just happened. The sky didn’t need to be blue – here it was pink – and the buildings didn’t need to be made out of brick or stone. These ones were made out of hay and straw, although we all dressed the same as we did in the real world. I didn’t know where I was going, but I needed to go somewhere, and Malcolm was beside me.   

Holding my hand.   

     I was happy, I wasn’t anxious and I wasn’t thinking about anything other than the person close to me. He stroked my hand with his thumb, and it felt believably warm, like it would happen in real life. I couldn’t remember what made me laugh, but we laughed anyway, and he looked at me the way he would look at those guys he would tell me about. A slight smile, crinkling of the eyes when he did so.   

And just like that, he kissed me.   

     It was what I wanted. It was what I needed, everything else came second to that. I didn’t even worry about what other people would have thought. I didn’t worry about any other guy or any other girl. I was engrossed in the moment, and it was perfect.   

But dreams were never that simple.   

     I remembered pulling away, and I expected Malcolm to still be in front of me, but he wasn’t.   

Instead, it was Jeremy.   

     I recoiled. He acted surprised, hurt even. I panicked there and then, forgetting that I was only in a dream, and ran as far as I can. I heard him calling my name, but it didn’t sound like Jeremy, and it didn’t sound like Malcolm, either. I was short of breath, and I couldn’t tell if it was because I was running or if I was panicking or a strange mix of the two. I moved until I couldn’t move anymore, and I gasped for air as a pair of hands grabbed me from behind. I tried to fight them off, but when I turned around to confront Jeremy, he changed yet again.   

This time, it was Hannah.   

     The same hands holding mine, the same brush of her thumb against my skin. The same smile on all three faces, the same lips that went in to kiss me.   

     In this dream of straw skyscrapers and shapeshifting people, I froze in place. I felt her lips against mine, and I was scared to move mine along with hers in case she changed again. I couldn't trust the person who was holding me. I couldn't leave but I couldn’t stay.   

     Just like that, I was back in my room, covered in sweat and at the edge of bed. I grabbed my phone, and it read 5:05am. I groaned and tossed it to the end of my blankets, annoyed. The ceiling had no answers for me when I laid back and stretched my arms, my dream still clear in my head.   

It was always going to be a problem, wasn’t it? I wasn’t ever going to settle on just one person, and when I did it was going to be the wrong one.   

     I fed my books and sheets back into my bag, because I wasn’t going to go back to sleep and I didn’t want to be in my room anymore. The hallway was dark and so were the stairs. I heard my Dad snoring in the bedroom. I wondered what time they finished being busy and decided to actually get some sleep. I grabbed some chocolate bars in the fridge which would make some sort of breakfast. I sat my ass down on the couch and turned on the TV and watched the advertisements as they played endlessly, chewing on the chocolate to pass the time.  Bored, I flicked to another channel, and the news caught my eye.   

-Storm Deandra upgraded to level-3 hurricane, set to sweep Pennsylvania-   

     A satellite image followed, and it showed it in the middle of the ocean, steadily getting larger with each updated image that was shown. It was going to hit Delaware and New Jersey... and it was going to hit here as well.   

Oh no.  

     Truth be told, it wasn’t our first potential hurricane. I remembered what it was like ten years ago, when the last storm battered the city. My parents rushed around the place and grabbed their things. They had me in their arms and promised me everything would be okay. I remembered leaving for a really long car trip to my Aunt’s house, and when we came back a few weeks later the roof of our house had collapsed.   

Most of our neighbors were hit with the same thing.   

     It wasn’t going to happen again, was it? What happens if our home was struck again? Where would we go? What would we do?   

     I wanted to take my meds for the day, but I had to wait until around 8am or the irregular time would throw me off-balance. I turned off the news and onto another channel, but they were playing the same Breaking News template, and so did the channel after that. I eventually returned to teleshopping, literally the only channel not talking about Deandra.    

      I opened the curtains and looked at our street. It was drizzling again, so it was going to be another annoying walk today. I messaged Malcolm and asked if he wanted to meet outside Elmhurst again, but predictably got no answer for the time being. While I waited for that, I flicked the kettle on while I reached for tea bags.   

*  

      The storm was the topic on everyone’s mind today, so most of our classes had turned to an impromptu preparation session in case things got bad. On the plus side, it meant no homework. The negative? It meant that the storm was now my biggest worry, and I was just reminded about it time and time and time again.  The only class I looked forward to was English - mainly because it was devoted entirely to societies - but even that was tainted slightly on account of Jeremy. I didn't have much choice but to sit next to him in class, and he always tried his best to get my attention. It was time we renegotiated that little treaty we had.

      "What kind of society you thinking of joining?" He whispered, because of course he did. I noticed a scar run across his right arm; he had an accident about a year back, fell off a balcony in Spain. It was the only thing he talked about back then.

      "Actually, I might join the English one." I answered, hoping to get the conversation over and done with so I could head to break. "A fan of visiting libraries, at least people stay quiet." A little bit of a dig, I had to admit, but it flew over his head.

      "Sweet, might just join it myself." That wasn't the answer I wanted to hear. The class dragged on; I read Hamlet already, so at least I had my comparative study covered, but I wasn't a fan of Sylvia Plath's poetry. Jeremy knew this, and nudged me on the shoulder when her name was called out. I smiled and looked away. He was trying so hard, I felt a little bad for not returning the favor. Still, he didn't have those memories haunt him every waking day, now did he? It took until the end of class for me to muster the courage to do something about it. We poured out of the classroom, but I reached over and tugged on his jumper, holding him back. 

"Look, I need to talk you."

      "Shoot!" He swept his hair to the side. I almost stopped the words from reaching my mouth, because I really didn't want to give him the wrong idea. 

 "Um, Jeremy... I really appreciate you talking to me, I really do... but we agreed on keeping things on a small talk basis."

      "Isn't that what I'm doing? Small talk?" He answered, slightly confused. "I'm not inviting you to my house or anything, but - "

      "I need even less small talk than this." I pleaded. The cogs turned in the boy's head. Jeremy looked around, focusing on nothing in particular.

"You want zero talk."

"I suppose I do."

      "That's fine, I guess." Jeremy shrugged as he made his way to the door. He stopped just before he got there, turning around one last time to face me. "It was 5th Grade, Percy. If you're going to keep that over my head..." He didn't finish that sentence, because he walked out into the corridor and out of sight. Maybe he was right about all of that.

      Jack sat next to me for the rest of our classes – the guy had grown a beard over the summer and it completely transformed his appearance – and he knew this was bothering me. The tripod sat down for lunch and tried to talk about literally anything other than the storm, but I just looked at my lunch and poked at it, disinterested.   

      “Looks like I’m going back to Minnesota.” Jack joked, getting some mashed potatoes stuck in his new beard and doing precious little to get rid of it, but it didn’t really make me laugh like it was probably intended to.   

      “Can I come with you?” I half-joked back, making some sort of conversation, “Think I’ll get along with your family?”  

“Depends, you like ABBA?”  

“Not really.”  

     “Then not a chance.”  That managed to make me smile, I couldn’t deny that. The thought of him dancing to Dancing Queen was just a quality image in my head. Malcolm, meanwhile, was ABBA’s biggest fan. He would be the perfect candidate.   

     “Want to hang at my place?” Jack added, finally doing something about his beard. “Might as well kick back and play some stuff while the workload is free.”  

I was going to answer, and I was going to answer yes, but I saw her as she walked up towards us, and she didn’t look happy: It was Hannah.   

“Can I talk to you?”  

     “Yeah...yeah sure!” I spluttered as I stood up. She was clearly annoyed about something, was it because of that book yesterday? We walked away from the cafeteria and into the halls. She wasn’t in uniform.   

“What’s wrong?”  

     “Can we go somewhere else? Somewhere other than school?” She was a little bit frazzled; her hands were shaking, something was definitely wrong.   

“Hannah?”  

     “Just... can you just pretend that you’re taking me to a Doctor, or something?” We weren't exactly allowed to leave the building in the middle of the day, which was going to be a pretty big problem. I pursed my lips and tried to come up with some sort of solution, before it dawned on me. 

"Come on." 

     We left the cafeteria while my friends watched, confused. I didn't recognize the receptionist at the desk, she must had been hired during the summer, which was perfect because that meant that she could be a bit more persuasive. I told her about Hannah, and she agreed to make a note of it and asked if my parents could give me permission to leave. I told her that they were out of the country - which was technically true  - and she said she would make a special exception, but she was going to have to call my parents and let them know. I could handle that side of things when I got home, but knowing their busy schedule she wouldn't be able to get through to them anyway. We were out the front door as quickly as possible. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket – probably Malcolm and Jack – but I couldn’t check it out now.   

     “Where were you?” I risked asking, watching her as she hugged her sides and stared at the pavement.   

“Okay, so you know that I came from the UK?”  

“Yeah?”  

     “I didn’t want to move here.”  I understood, but felt there was more to the story.   

“Why did your parents move?”  

“Parent. Singular. He moved here because he loves this woman.”  

“OK, but - “  

     “Did I mention that my Dad was married to my Mom when this was going on?” She continued, spitting out the words. I was starting to understand.   

“Oh... I’m sorry.”  

     “And to top it all off, I had to leave my bloody boyfriend there, and watch him beg to stay together when I’m in another time zone! I’m sorry I know we just met, but you’re the closest I have to a friend here.”  The dream I had with Hannah was shelved. Immediately. Nothing was going to happen. I felt stupid for even feeling some sort of connection to her.   

“Crap.”  

“Yeah, you said it. Crap.”  

     We weren’t walking anywhere in particular, only further away from Maspeth. I waited for her to speak, but she stayed pretty quiet for a while. Maybe that was for the best, so we said nothing and just kept moving, going nowhere in particular. I thought about this London boy that she must have dated, how he might have felt when he saw her for the last time and how he was dealing with it right now. It must had been rough for him. It must had been rough for both of them.  

     We crossed roads and walked from block to block, until eventually she slowed down.   

     “I needa' sitdown, what about this spot?”  She pointed at 69 Coffee Shop - I was there once before, it was nice enough - so I nodded and followed her inside. It was advertising coffee, but it seemed like a restaurant and a fast-food joint all mixed into one. What mattered was that there were seats, so I ordered two cups of cappuccinos while she sat down, still clearly nervous. I brought both cups over, she hugged hers with her hands, warming them. I did the same.   

     “Sorry 'bout all this,” she admitted. She sipped her drink and sighed in relief.   

     “Sometimes coffee helps,” I replied, because I was stupid and coffee couldn’t fix Trans-Atlantic issues like this. I didn’t realize how much it bothered her.   

     “You’re a gentleman, Percy.”  

     “N’ah, just the first person you happened to walk into on your first day.”  

     She nodded, but her hands stopped shaking at least. We didn’t really talk that much, just watched the cars as they pulled into the neighboring garage and everything else that was really going on out there. The place was empty aside from the both of us, the employee at the counter kept checking to make sure we were still there.   

     “I didn’t go to school because of Dad’s girlfriend,” she admitted out of nowhere, sipping on more of the coffee and looking outside when she said it, “well, when I say girlfriend, I mean fiancé. A real whirlwind sort of affair. It makes me wonder what he ever thought of Mom to be honest.”  

     I didn’t know what to say. She continued.   

“So anyway, didn't want to drop all this heavy information on you. I just needed someone to talk to that wasn’t family, you know?”  

“Yeah...”  

“It’s okay. You can’t really say anything that will magically make it all better. Just thanks for listening, is all.”  

“Heh, you’re welcome?”   

     “I’ll buy the next round,” she replied with a smile as she stood up. I couldn’t help but smile back at her. She fetched them while I checked my phone. Sure enough, it was Malcolm, and I shook my head and closed his message. He was being suggestive about Hannah and I. It wasn’t going to happen.   

     “So tell me more about you.” She said, once she came back. The drink had much more sugar than I was used to. I made a face when I drank it. She laughed.   

     “What would you like to know?”  

     “I don’t know, what goes on in a city like this? Any interesting stories? First kiss? First love? Details!”  I blushed. She noticed. I told her about Jeremy and she gasped and paid avid attention to my epic tale. It was only at the end when I told her that all of this happened when we were basically kids, and she obviously had to take a step back and reevaluate.   

“That...was a tale, alright!”  

“Jeremy and I are fine, by the way!”  

“We wouldn’t be, lemme tell you! But I’ve never met somebody who's bi before, what is it like?”  

     I thought of my dream, of Malcolm, of Jeremy...of her. “It’s a lot.”  

“I bet. So tell me about the girls? What was her name, Aisling? What does she have against you?”  

     “That’s...that’s simple.”  Aisling was going to tell her – or warn her – eventually. “We dated a few years back. I was caught kissing a guy in the locker room. She found out and dumped me. Its honestly fine. I deserve it.”  

"Does he go to the school?" 

     "It was a basketball match. He was spectating for the other team. He came onto me, but I allowed it." She obviously didn’t expect that.  

“Wow...but that doesn’t give her the right to control you, Percy. That was years ago.”  

     “I’ll be fine, but thanks. That’s what I mean when I say it’s a lot.” Why was I confessing all of this? “You can like somebody, and then the next minute you can be in love with someone completely different.”  

“That’s tough.”  

“Story of my life.”  

     “You and me, brother!” She announced, raising her hands in the air. The employee looked at us, wondering what was going on.   

     “So now that we’ve established that we’re both dealing with a lot of issues, how 'bout we do something tomorrow? Mind if I tag along with your boys? Need to make a few more friends while I’m here!”  

     “Of course!” I knew I was going to convince Jack and Malcolm on having her come over with me, although I would need to tell them to chill before anything else happened. “Will we say after school?”  

     “Definitely. I’ll be less of an issue, I promise!”  

     “You’re not an issue,” I replied, and I don’t know whether it was my words or something else, but she seemed to look away for a second, lost in thought, frowning.   

“Hey?”  

     “Hm?” It was like she snapped back into reality. She was definitely thinking about something.   

“I mean it, you know.”  

     “Oh...”  She looked at me, and I didn’t know what she was trying to do. It was like she was trying to... find something there? She focused on something in my eyes, and then something else, and then something else again.   

     “What are you looking for?” I risked asking, trying to make it tongue-in-cheek but coming across as totally deadpan. Still, she seemed to understand.   

     “Nothing...” Completely ambiguous.  

     When we finished our second cups we went outside into the cold evening. She seemed a lot happier now, her hands no longer at her sides. We talked about trivial things like TV shows and the different stereotypes of British and American people. She seemed horrified when realized I didn’t have a kettle in my house. When the street lights came on she decided to head home, and she seemed happy for me to keep her company until it arrived. She handed me a piece of paper, a torn little sheet, and pressed it into my palm. I opened it – it was her number.   

     “You run around with your number all the time? A bit old-fashioned, isn't it?”  

     “It's a step-by-step approach with me, boy. Don’t flatter yourself – actually, do flatter yourself, because I wrote that one just for you! Let me know if I can tag along tomorrow?”  

     “Definitely.” I promised, right when her bus pulled up. We hugged goodbye, and it lasted for a brief second but I swore it was one of the warmest hugs I’d ever had.   

Then she kissed me. 

     It was the quickest thing, a force of habit. Still, I saw her face as she pulled away, trying to hide how horrified she was and very clearly failing. 

     “I'll... talk to you then.” She stated, right as the doors shut between us and barring me from asking her what that kiss was about. I just stood there, dumbfounded, as it took off, taking her along with it.   

What happened?  

-Hannah- 

     What just happened? 

     Everything was fine; We spoke, had coffee and joked around a little. I forgot all about Jess and all about my Dad and everything else. Why did I have to ruin it all by kissing him like that? I was so used to ending my conversations with Henry with a kiss before we went about our day, my body just went into auto-pilot mode.

     Damn it! He looked mortified when the doors closed. I couldn’t say sorry to him. I must have looked like a right fool. 

     I paid my fare and took my seat – I was quickly getting used to the public transport while the buildings still looked foreign to me – and I watched the people outside as we moved past. New York was busier than London, you could see it in the way the pavements were stuffed full of people, and to think that every single one of them had agendas of their own. Did any of them have issues like me? Like Percy? Like Jess? I had to have to apologize to her.  

     My phone buzzed in my pocket, surprising me. Opening it, I realized that it was Percy.  

     ‘I had a great time x’  I hadn’t realized that I was holding my breath, so I closed my eyes and just sighed. At least I hadn't scared him away with my unprovoked kissing. What I also noticed was that x, that innocent little x. Did he send that to every girl he knows, or was that just for me? I went from thinking I scared him off to wondering if I led him on a little.  

     I did, didn’t I? I literally kissed him, what else could he have thought it was?

     There was definitely something there. Something small – we only met a few days ago – but still. I noticed the way he pursed his lips when he was nervous, and his smile was the most genuine thing I’ve ever seen.  

     ‘So did I, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow x’, I sent an x back out of politeness. It was far too early to tell whether I liked him or not.  

     It turned pretty dark when we sped past Roosevelt Island. I only saw my own reflection in the window beside me. I had to dye my hair again, the roots were starting to show my natural color, and I was never a fan of being brunette. A baby cried pretty loudly once we approached Central Park, making me wish I knew my way around well enough to get off and get away from the noise. I pressed my left ear against my shoulder and rested my head against the window to drown out some of it. Some middle-aged businessman had the audacity to sit next to me when there were plenty of perfectly-empty seats left. I left and budged past him by the time my stop arrived five minutes later - I wasn’t a big fan of his staring.  

    It was freezing, instantly numbing my hands. I made a mental note of buying some gloves once I had the money. There were signs everywhere, and I needed to follow a very specific set to bring me back home. I just followed wherever it said 69th and worked my way from there. Thankfully I began to recognize some landmarks and potholes in the pavement, but the thought of Percy and that coffee shop faded away and everything else started coming back. Everything to do with my Mom and my Dad and getting back home.

    Before I knew it, I was standing outside the apartment. I stood there for a few seconds -  I was going to get roasted as soon as I walked inside.  I took a breath, counted to three and opened the door.  Jess and Dad were eating dinner inside the kitchen. There was enough food to feed a small village, some of it was wrapped in foil, presumably for when I got back. I stuck my coat and my bag on the bannister and walked inside, announcing my presence to them.  

“Hey.” 

     “Hey sweetie!” Jess was far too happy for it to be genuine, especially with what happened earlier. Still, I took it at face value and smiled back, taking my seat at the table. Dad focused more on his food than on his daughter, sticking a piece of pork into his mouth. It meant that I didn’t have to listen to him for a few blissful moments.  

     “So, your father and I had a chat,” Jess continued, crossing her arms and leaning towards me, all business. It was the moment I was waiting for. I nodded.  

“Okay?” 

     “We decided to tell you the truth.” I sat back in my seat. I didn’t expect that. 

“What?” 

“About how your Father and I met. You deserve to know the truth.” 

     “Jess, stop. I stepped out of line - “I began, but she cut me off. She was still smiling, but the words seemed anything but optimistic.  

     “Hannah, I understand you want some answers. I thought about it, and I decided that you weren't told the whole story before you had to move all the way over to the States. Your Father should have told you.” So, it was Dad who was in the doghouse. It was interesting, because now I knew the real reason why he was stuffing his face and not looking at us. 

     “I met him when he visited the US on business, two years ago.” She began. I remembered back then, because that was the only time he went to the States, and he promised to bring me back some American magazines and souvenirs. I remembered the disappointment when he brought back nothing.  

      I turned to look at him. “You met that long ago?” He simply looked back. He wasn’t finished chewing.  

     “We hit it off right away, Hannah.” Jess continued with a sigh, like she was trying to gather herself. “It was only when he left that he told me he was married. But he said that himself and your Mother were going through some issues that looked like they were never going to go away. Despite knowing that, I continued to talk to him, and for that I can only apologize, sweetie.” 

     I took it all in. I could feel the flush of blood in my cheeks. She continued.  

“We talked about moving in together for months, your Father explained that your Mother wanted a divorce before she ever found out about - “ 

     “Bullshit.” I knew there was going to be a little white lie somewhere. Jess’s eyes widened, taken aback.  

“What?” 

“Jess that’s bullshit. Dad was caught out and that was when she wanted a divorce!” 

     “Hannah,” Dad growled, so I turned to face him.  

“Is that not the truth?” 

“No, it actually isn’t.” 

“I was there. I heard everything!” 

“Well you obviously misheard - “ 

     “Both of you, stop it!” Jess barked, shutting the both of us up. her usual accent dropped, her normally-perfect hair covered a part of her face as she stood up. “Are we going to have another chat, John?” 

     He looked at me with fire in his eyes. I didn’t care. He was all bark and no bite.  

“No, dear.” 

“So, you told me the truth?” 

“Yes, dear.” 

“You’re telling me your daughter’s a liar?” 

“Jess, Hannah believes what Hannah is saying, but - “ 

     “John, if I find out that you lied to me about this, the wedding’s off.” I looked away in panic. I felt his eyes burn into the side of my head.  

     “I promise you, I’m not lying.” There was silence for a few seconds. It was an unbearable few seconds at that.  

“Okay. I believe you.” 

     Jess took her seat again and adjusted her hair. I could see that it took all of her power to keep herself composed.  

“Hannah, Is there anything you want us to do?” 

     I looked at the plate of food in front of me. I lost all my appetite.  “No.” 

     “Sweetie, until your birthday your father is your legal Guardian. Once you turn eighteen, I promise I’ll do everything I can to make sure you head back home to your friends. Until then, I’m afraid you’ll have to get used to living here. That’s just the way it is. I’m sorry you got taken away from everything you knew and loved.” I wanted to say something, but I only nodded. The woman had enough of my crap today.  

“Are we going to sit down and have our dinner in peace?” 

     Dad and I nodded, both humbled by this frankly terrifying woman. We ate in silence once my food was slotted into the microwave, and we didn’t say a single word for the rest of our time in the kitchen.  

* 

     The trip to school felt different today.  

     There was a pit in my stomach that just wouldn’t go away. Jess’s words still rang in my ears. I kept myself to myself while everybody else talked about their missing homework and weekend plans. I promised Percy I would be less of an issue, but that may not be possible. I hid behind my hair so they couldn’t see that I hadn’t slept a wink last night. The new books in my bag just reminded me of Jess’s altercation now.  

     I thought about my friends back home, specifically Trish. I missed that little red-haired minx. I needed to call her at the end of the day and gleam whatever sort of wisdom she could offer me. The bus pulled right up in front of the school, I thanked the driver quietly as I got off, but otherwise walked straight inside. Today was all about societies. You could tell because there were stalls covering every square foot of the main hall, covering everything from Japanese to fencing. It was the furthest thing from my mind for the time being. I wondered if Percy or his friends were interested in anything in particular.  

     “Hey, British!” Aisling – Percy's Aisling, – strode towards me, leaflets in her hand.  

     “S’up.” That was the best I could do right there and then.  

“Anything that you like?” 

     It took me several seconds to realize what she was referring to. “If there’s a society for sleep, sign me right up!”  

     “Christ, your eyes! Hang on, I got the thing for you!” Aisling seemed nice enough once you actually spoke to her, she tried to balance those leaflets in one arm – God help her – while she grabbed something in her bag.  

     “Ais, there’s really no need!” Too late, those sheets fell out of her one free arm and onto the floor, making a mess. She swore, but I helped pick most of them up, seeing as I was the reason it happened after all. She thanked me once I handed them to her. “No amount of concealer is going to cover up these bags!” I joked, looking to make some sort of small conversation before class started, “What are you promoting, by the way?” 

     Aisling then went on a ten-minute rant about politics and how third-world countries were affected by the greed of cooperate businesses stateside, and wanted new members to campaign with her outside of school. I politely declined her multiple offers to join, but agreed to walk with her to the cafeteria so she could finally sit down. The place was filling up with students, so by the time we sat down the entire place was packed. We could barely find a free seat as it was.  

     “Do you mind if I ask you a question?” I risked asking. Apart from her snark comments towards Percy, Aisling seemed perfectly inoffensive. She tied her hair into a simple ponytail while she had both hands free.  

“Of course!” 

“It’s about Percy...” 

     She looked away for a few moments, but then focused her attention back to me again. 

“What would you like to know?” 

“He told me about what happened.” 

“And?” 

“Um, he’s sorry?” 

“I bet he is.” 

“The boy is clearly sorry for what he did, Ais. Trust me on that. I’ve just heard a lot about him.” 

     “He deserved it.” Aisling didn't look so inoffensive right now.  

     “He’s anxious. He has panic attacks. Can you please just tell everybody to stop with the comments? I’d appreciate it.” Aisling looked at me like I had just flown in from the Democratic Republic of Pluto. It was like the idea of forgiveness wasn’t even a remote possibility.  

“You like him.” 

     “What?” I didn’t know what to make of that. It was partly-true, but not the whole truth. Should I say no? Should I say nothing?  

“He’ll just dump you for a guy, and then he’ll just dump him for a girl, and it’s just going to keep happening. Trust me, British!” 

“Can you please just stop saying things about him? That’s all I’m asking.” 

“No.” 

     “It’s a very simple request, Aisling.” If this was her old school, she would had been a bit more persuasive. Her hair was now aggressively tied up, I saw her scalp and the strain it was put under.  

“What’s in it for me?” 

     “What do you mean?” I wasn’t in the mood for a bribe.  

“You join my society, I’ll make sure nobody says a thing about him again. I’ll drop it.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Seriously.” 

     I knew she wasn’t going to barter any longer. That was the offer on the table. The bell rang pretty loudly, which meant that I had almost no time to make a decision. Reluctantly, I grabbed one of her pamphlets.  

“When’s the first meeting?” 

“Tomorrow, right after school. We’re discussing the damaging effects of fashion to both its child workers and the environment.” 

“Looking forward to it.” 

     “I bet you are.” She concluded, and walked off with a smug little look on her smug little face. Being friends with her was no longer an option, but if it meant that Percy would have to worry about one less thing...  

     The rest of the school day went by about as well as anybody could expect; a bit of homework to keep me occupied, a heads-up about what exams were coming up and what to expect on them. I realized in History that I bought the wrong book, which meant going back to the bookstore to exchange it. It wasn’t the end of the world, I still needed to find some sort of Rachel Cohn novel, anyway. Geography and English flew by without incident, but the classes I shared with Aisling were uncomfortable, to say the least. She wasn’t exactly subtle about staring at people, was she? By the third class we shared I learned to drown her out of my mind.  

     I shared one class with Percy, and I sat beside him as our Teacher spoke about Physics and the Doppler Effect. I wasn’t very good with names and I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to bother learning any of theirs. He was obviously sitting next to one of his amigos, because when he wasn’t looking and smiling at me he was whispering to him. He seemed a lot more relaxed than when I saw him. I hoped that Aisling made good on her promise.  

     When the final bell rang, He waited for me just outside the door. As promised, he was accompanied by his two friends. They looked bored, but at least one of them smiled when he saw me. I couldn’t help but smile back.  

“Hey!” 

“Hey. Look, I'm sorry about - "

     ”Oh... don't worry about that, it happens." He brushed it off, or at least he tried to in front of his friends. “Hannah, I want you to meet Malcom,” he was the guy who sat next to him in Science, “and then there’s Jack.” Jack had an ugly beard which didn’t suit his small face at all. He reached out his hand.  

“’Ello, Guv’nor!” 

     I stood there and waited until he retracted his hand in embarrassment, and then laughed.  

     “I’m Hannah, nice to meet ya.” I replied with the most faux-British accent that was humanly possible. Jack was a joker, I had a few of those types of friends back home. Malcolm was even quieter than Percy was, and that was an achievement in and of itself.  

     “What are we doing today?” Jack asked, impatient.  

     “A trip to the movies?” Malcolm suggested, a complete whisper. Someone needed to tell him that I didn’t bite.  

     “Movies sound good, actually.” I noted. I had just enough money for a ticket and some popcorn. I was going to need to look for a part-time job while I was here.  

     Percy nodded, “Sure, it's been a while. Want to see what’s on?” 

     I was reliably informed that the nearest cinema to us was Regal Cinemas Atlas Park, and since I was clueless they mentioned that it was on 80th Street. Since I still didn’t have a bloody clue where that was they mentioned that it was going to be a walk and it would just take twenty minutes or so. I believed them. Percy and I hung at the back while Jack and Malcolm walked ahead of us, engrossed in their own conversation. The bags under Percy’s eyes were just as prominent as ever, but at least we had a matching pair. He seemed to be in good spirits today.  

     “Did you pick any societies today?” I figured was the best possible question to ask.  

     “There were a few. There’s a reading society that just hops to different libraries during the year, so I put my name down for that. I was thinking of Japanese as well, even though I haven’t got the slightest idea of it. You?” 

“Me? Well I thought about politics...” 

“You spoke to Aisling, didn’t you?” 

     “I may have.” I admitted.  

“Thank you.” 

“Thank you? For what?” 

     “We spoke a little today. She said sorry. I’m glad you spoke to her, Hannah.” He explained, and he smiled that sweet smile again.  

“No problem!” 

     Jack mentioned the new releases that were showing, but none of them interested any of us. We decided to see the cheesiest thing possible, which was of course some sort of Americanized kids movie that we had no business attending. It sounded like these guys did this pretty regularly. I just wanted popcorn, to be completely honest.  

     The actual cinema itself didn’t look half-bad, it was pretty big, with a few arcade games and photo booths thrown in for good measure. The cashier at the counter seemed to recognize Jack out of all of us, she must have known about the routine in the way she made some small-talk with him before printing out the tickets with a completely straight face. She spotted me and called me new. I nodded and smiled. Our screen was on the first floor, I made the mistake of dropping some popcorn on the way up. Malcolm mentioned something about the kernels jamming the escalators one time and forcing the place to close for a few hours. Somehow I doubted that, but Percy seemed to confirm that it was true.  I promised them that I wouldn’t drop any more. I even threw in a scout’s honor to make it authentic.  

     Screens were smaller than I would have imagined, and pretty empty. It seemed that nobody really wanted to see this movie, not that I blamed them. We took our seats in the middle row, because Jack mentioned that directors normally tested the sound quality of movies by sitting in those exact seats. We likely weren’t going to be engrossed in the adventures of a sentient animated banana, but I reclined in my chair and popped some food in my mouth. It was a nice distraction from what happened at home. I closed my eyes and smiled for a second.  

“Hey.” 

     I opened my eyes again and found that it was only Percy sitting beside me. The other two shifted away from us and to the other side of the room.  

     I knew what this meant. This was probably the game plan from the beginning.  

I... was okay with that game plan.  

     “Hey.” I eventually replied.  

“This isn’t a set-up I swear!” 

     “I bet it wasn’t.” I laughed. I offered the popcorn box to him, and he took a handful. He was embarrassed, bless him.  

“I promise we’ll go somewhere else next time, this is just something Jack likes doing!”  

     “Hey, if it means sitting down and doing nothing for a few hours, I’m alright with that.” I replied. I could see the outline of his face in the dim lighting.  

     “I’m tired.” he admitted. I could hear it in his voice now, it was clear he was keeping up appearances for his friends.  

“So am I.” 

“Petition to sleep through this trainwreck.” 

     “I second that notion.” I answered with my best politician accent. We giggled sheepishly while Jack and Malcolm were busy glaring at us. Percy apologized for them. I waved it off.  

     “I’m glad I’m here.” That seemed to help him relax. He lounged back into the seat with me, and we took turns reaching for the popcorn when the movie eventually began to play. It only took me five minutes to realize that it should have been sent straight to TV, it was a mess. We began to play this game of pointing out all the plot holes and animation errors, and therein laid the magic of truly tragic cinema. I reached for more popcorn, watching the magic talking banana as it traveled through the snowy ice-cream mountains to be with the strawberry it was destined to be with, and realized that there was no food left.  

Instead, my hand brushed against his.  

     It was one of those cliched moments. I knew it, and he must have known it as well. Yet neither of us took our hands out of it. After a few moments of our hands just laying limply inside, he risked reaching for my fingers with his own. He was warm, and his hands were frankly a little bit sweaty, but I locked my hand in his because...because it felt right. I wanted to hold hands with him, so there we were – holding hands. He rubbed his thumb on my little finger. I turned and looked at him. Even in the poor light I could tell that he was burning red.  

“You OK?” 

“Y-yeah.” 

     “We can stop, if you want.” I didn’t want to stop holding this boy’s hand.  

     “No, this is...nice.” It was, wasn’t it?  

“We can take our hands out of the box, though.” 

“Oh.” 

     I smirked and funneled our hands out of the damn thing, letting it slide to the floor. It was much more comfortable now, and while the banana searched for its strawberry, I felt his fingers stroke mine.  

     Until he started gripping mine a little too tightly.  

     “Percy?” He glared at the screen, his eyes fixed on it. He was breathing a little quicker than normal.  

     “Percy what’s wrong?” My hand began to hurt.  He was forced to breathe through his mouth. I looked for his friends, they were oblivious.  

     “Percy!” I said it loud enough for them to notice. They scrambled towards us.   

     “Can’t...breathe...” He was having a panic attack.  

      Malcolm pushed me aside as he got to him, using a brown paper bag that carried the sweets he bought. He funneled them onto the chair as he pressed it against his mouth.  

      “Just breathe Percy, just focus on breathing.” his friend ordered, and Percy nodded and breathed heavily in and out. I looked on helplessly.  

      Was this my fault?  

      “You’re doing great,” Jack whispered, both of them offering words of support for him. Eventually his breathing slowed. He relaxed a little bit, taking the bag from Malcolm.  

      “What did I do?” I asked, shaken. Malcolm assured me that it wasn’t my fault, but it must have been. Nobody panics for no reason, did they? 

      “I...I have to go.”  

      Was I ashamed of saying that? Of course I was. Jack and Malcolm looked at me with horrified eyes when I said it, but I couldn’t be here. I couldn’t deal with home and I couldn’t deal with Aisling and I couldn’t deal with this all at the same time!”  

     “Hannah, hang on!” Jack called out, but I was already out of the screening.  

 -Percy-   

     It happened so fast. I couldn’t stop it. She held my hand - it was such a small thing but it felt huge to me - we watched that stupid movie and mocked it and pointed out its flaws and it was honestly the best.  

     Then I looked at Malcolm: I had feelings for both of them. I couldn't deny it - Hannah was this new and incredible possibility that liked me for who I was, but I knew my best friend my whole life. All I thought about was waking up one day and realizing I had made a big mistake. It was irrational. It was stupid. I was stupid. What about the guy she dated back at home, back in London? What if he just showed up and she realized she still loved him? They dated for years! I thought about that, and I thought about Malcolm, and Adam popped up out of nowhere. It was too much, too fast.   

     I heard her call my name, obviously realizing that something was going on. I could feel my hand as it squeezed hers, but I couldn’t relax.   

     “Percy!” Malc and Jack heard her. They were on me in seconds, a paper bag was pushed into my face and I focused on breathing in and out. They knew the routine by now - Hannah didn’t. She rushed out of the room as quickly as she could, and I knew that was that. She was going to tell everybody in school about it, and I’d be back to square one all over again. I tried calling out her name, but I was still breathing far too quickly for that. The entire point of my sessions with Aveleira was to prevent attacks like this, but it happened so quickly that my usual coping mechanisms were useless. I couldn't even book another appointment to talk to her about it; she was already flying out to Rio for the month. 

     “Just relax buddy, you’ll get through it.” Malcolm assured me. I still remembered what happened with Aisling, and how it took me the entire weekend to process what I'd done and what had happened. He sat with me in my room for those two days while I recovered from the self-loathing and the muscle cramps. I showed him that I was past the worst of it. He smiled and stayed there until I eventually calmed down and I was able to speak again.   

     “Ha- Hannah.” It was muffled by the paper bag, but he understood.   

“Jack’s gone looking for her, she’ll understand.”  

“She’s going to tell everybody...”  

“She’s not. She’s not like that.”  

“I’m an idiot.”  

     “Stop it, Percy!” My eyes stung. I blinked them as quickly as I could until they felt a little better.   

     “Thanks.” I eventually whispered. My chest didn’t feel quite so tight anymore, so I moved the bag away from my mouth. Pins and needles ran through my entire body while my heart raced. He helped me to my feet, I didn’t want to be there anymore.   

     “She couldn’t have gone far.” Malcolm stated. We hurried out the screening and found Jack in the lobby, pacing back and forth.   

     “Couldn’t find her.” He grumbled, looking outside the front door. I fetched my phone and tried to call her, but it fell out of my hands and onto the ground. The screen cracked instantly, but Jack reached for it before I even had a chance to panic. I hurt her - I remembered squeezing her hand and being unable to stop it. She was going to think I was a monster; she was going to give me the same stares as Aisling and everybody else had. Just the thought of that was enough for my anxiety to flare up again, but I forced it back down. I couldn't deal with a second attack on the same day.  

I sent a simple message to her. ‘I’m sorry.’  

     She probably wasn’t going to answer, but it was the only thing I could do. I put it away once the message was sent. Both of my friends looked at me, worried. That was a bad episode, even worse than usual.  

     “We're gonna take your mind off all of this!” Jack encouraged, he was trying to salvage what was left of this disaster of an evening. The last thing I wanted was to go home and tell my parents about my lovely afternoon. “Rosa’s Pizza?”  

     "We can walk you home, if you don't feel like being outside." Malcolm added, drawing from past experience. I waved the suggestion off, I didn’t have a lot of my allowance left, but it was the only place all three of us loved when it came to food. Jack smiled and Malcolm nodded. Perfect.   

Hannah hadn't responded yet.   

      We started moving. They did everything they could to distract me from what happened; they mentioned what sort of new gaming consoles were being released and how we couldn’t afford them, Jack brought up the subject of work and whether the pizzeria would be looking for part-time staff, and Malcolm gawked at as many guys on the other side of the sidewalk as he could. None of it made me forget about things, but it was a distraction nonetheless. It got a bit windier as we carried on. My light shirt wasn’t really equipped to deal with it. I shivered slightly as I wrapped my arms along my sides.   

     “Any word on that hurricane that was meant to hit us? Deandra, was it?” Jack asked. I completely forgot about that. Was that why it was getting windier? I didn’t need to hear that right now.

     “Heard it’s not going to hit us at all,” Malcolm answered. I didn’t realize he was the guy who kept up with current news, “I think it got downgraded and is hitting Maryland more than us, right?”  

     “Didn’t get any evac orders, so we should be good.” Jack had a point, but I was too young to remember the protocol the last time something like that hit the State. I only hoped that they were right.   

     There were a lot of pizzerias near Maspeth, but Rosas was the best. The same neon lights greeted us when we walked inside, and they made the cheesiest pasta you could imagine. It was always busy - the kitchen had at least eight staff members hurrying around while we placed our orders. Malcolm and I settled on finding a place to sit while Jack queued. There were only a few spaces in the back, but it was enough for three people. Beggars couldn’t be choosers.   

     “How do you feel now?” Malcolm always checked up on me post-panic attack. I knew that I looked like an absolute mess, but I tried to smile and pass as someone who kept things together.   

“I’m fine.”  

“Good.”  

     I checked my phone. Hannah actually responded; I must have missed the notification. ‘You’re fine. I didn’t know what to do. At home now. Talk tomorrow.’   

     It was a relief, to say the least. I didn’t want to bother her if she promised she’d talk to me tomorrow. The crack cascaded across the entire screen,  entirely noticeable. so I switched my phone off and put it away so I wouldn't be tempted to check it again. Malcolm noticed that.   

     “She’s fine.” I promised. He only nodded, he seemed a little awkward while we waited for our friend, fidgeting with his fingers as he bit the corner of his lip.   

“Malc?”  

     “Hmm?”  I’d known the guy for years. I knew when he was worried about something.   

“It’s about... that thing, isn’t it?”  

     For just a few moments he refused to answer, but then he slowly nodded, looking at a table near the front of the store. I could spot the guy he was glaring at. He wasn’t my type, either.   

     “I just don’t want to keep hiding this from people anymore.” The guy turned around, so Malcolm shot back to me in an instant. “It’s just...I tell them that I’m going somewhere, and I’m lying to them all the time. You realize that I'm officially supposed to be in church right now, volunteering for a Christmas carol service that doesn't exist?  It just feels like they’re controlling me.”  

     “You can crash at mine, whenever you want.” I told him, the first thing that always came out of my mouth whenever he spoke about his parents. I knew the answer before the words came out, and so did Malcolm. I just wanted to hold him, wrap my arms around him and promise him that everything would be OK. Unfortunately, we were living in a world where that wasn't a promise, and the hurricane that may or may not strike New York was a very grim example of that. I just didn’t understand how Adam knew about him. I just didn’t. I should had told him about the situation a long time ago, but his parents were enough of a handful for him. Eventually he was going to trip up and his parents were going to realize he was lying to them. Something was going to happen pretty soon, none of the scenarios were good.    

     Jack came back to us with our food prepping in the ovens, and while we waited, we spoke about what movie we would actually enjoy watching together if we did this again. He spoke about Minnesota and his Grandma who was pushing ninety-seven but was still fetching logs for the open fire. He toyed with the idea of shaving his beard, it turned out he wasn’t a fan of carrying bits of breakfast on it during the day. When our food finally arrived, I watched as they guzzled it down. I was perfectly fine with my two slices. I started thinking about that hurricane, and if we were actually safe from it. It was the kind of intrusive idea that never seemed to disappear from my head, and I felt my chest tighten a little bit. I breathed in and let the air out of my lungs slowly.   

     “We’ll make sure you two are okay.” Jack promised out of nowhere, actually managing to have a stray line of cheese on his beard when he said this. He meant Hannah, I just thanked him for being there and looked at the rest of the food. I wasn’t that hungry anymore.  We left pretty soon after that, because I needed to get some homework done and I just wanted to surround myself with the familiar four walls that was my room. Jack said that he would wait at Rosa’s and have his Dad collect him. The two of us left him behind and promised to meet up in the morning. I knew the way to Elmhurst Park while Malcolm was still a little sketchy with the directions, so I led on as the wind picked up. It was becoming a hassle just to walk out in the open.   

It’s not a hurricane. Stop thinking it’s a hurricane.   

     “You know what I’ve been thinking?” Malcolm asked, as we walked up Grand Avenue towards the stop. Since I wasn’t telepathic, I shook my head.   

“No?”  

"Could you imagine how much easier things would be, if we didn't have these problems?”  

     “If we didn't have our problems, we would have other problems, and that would be problematic.” I retorted, slightly tongue-in-cheek. He noticed that, nudging me with his shoulder. 

     “But you know what I mean! Imagine waking up in the morning and having absolutely nothing to worry about, like I could just waltz up to someone I like and ask them out, and you...” He trailed off. I understood. I knew what he meant. 

     "I hate seeing you like that, you know." He whispered; a lot quieter than before. There were little moments like this, when it was the both of us and we were being real for a second, when I felt a pang of longing for him. Sometimes, I imagined what it would had been like to date him, to walk in school hand-in-hand, not listening to what Jeremy or Aisling or anybody else had to say. It would be the same dynamic they always had, but at the end of the day they would go on little trips to the coffee shop, stroking Malcolm's thumb with his own, and innocent little kisses. The daydream stopped around that mark, becase I knew that there wasn't a hope in hell. I'd accepted that years ago, and right now he needed a best friend more than a boyfriend. I reached around him with my left arm and gave him a half-hearted hug. 

"I appreciate what you did today, Malc." 

     “At least somebody appreciates me!” He replied with a smirk, just as we made it to the actual stop. Nobody else was there, because who else would want to stand around and wait in the middle of that weather? He offered to let me head home, but I told him I’d wait until he left. I didn’t want him plucked away by a stray breeze.   

     “I could fly to Oz.” He argued, and he wasn’t even remotely whimsical when he said that. 

     “There’s no place like home.”  Home meant a lot of different things to a lot of different people.   

      I stayed as long as I could. When his bus arrived, I hugged him and saw him off. My face began to feel cold and I started to shiver, I didn’t have enough layers on today. I was going to have to raid my winter wardrobe again.   

*  

     Both of my parents were in the kitchen, and as usual they were on their phones, using a lot of business talk and not making a lot of sense to me. They were just as worried about the hurricane as I was.   

     “Are you sure?” Mom asked, her phone practically glued to her ear. From the way she said it I knew it wasn’t the first time she asked that, “I’m leaving for Germany and I don’t want to come back to a home without a roof attached to it. We’re leaving our son here, for Christ’s sake!”  

     “Sarah, leave the poor advisor alone.” Dad was a bit more laid back than she was, but he was still glued to the TV. Deandra was acting a little differently to other storms, at least according to the reporter who was going through all the facts and trivia about it, like it was something that wasn’t capable of causing millions worth of damage if it wanted to.   

     “Still going to Munich?” I asked.   

     “They’re not budging, cancelling or rescheduling the damn conference.” He answered. Dad scribbled a few notes down in his notepad while Mom was busy pacing back and forth and giving that poor advisor a few choice words. She was trying her best to explain the situation, and she sounded like she was going nowhere.   

     “So, Jack and Malcolm went to Rosa’s with me!” I said, hoping to show them that I was at least being sociable. “They were asking for you.”  

     The live-feed of the hurricane was broadcast from space, and it didn’t look like a downgraded storm to me. They were busy showing a time-lapse of when it formed compared to what it looked like a few hours ago. It changed course so dramatically that two weather reporters on-screen were bickering about what to do. Something about high pressure but I wasn’t sure. Geography wasn’t my strong suit.   

     “Sarah, honey.” Dad pleaded softly. He had enough of Mom bickering over the phone, “Hang up, you’re not doing anybody any good by staying on the line.”  

     “Half of the committee comes from New York!” She shot back. “We’re about to leave when something like this could happen!”  

     “They’re saying that it’s changing course, we’re not going to deal with it.”  

     “Where is Percy going to go if it does, Andrew? We’re leaving him in the middle of all of this!”  

     “Honey.” Mom was a firework when she was ticked off, but she was also oblivious as to how what she’s saying could affect me. Obviously, it did, but somehow the thought of having our home torn to shreds from its very foundation took a back seat to what had happened today. Mom picked up on what he said, though.   

“Sorry, Sweetie.”  

"Look, if you're so worried about this and about me, what about staying here?"

     "Don't be ridiculous!" Mom started, the same way she usually did when anything got even vaguely in the way of business. "We're looking at a merger, here. We'll lose the opportunity if we don't make it."

     "We don't have a choice." Dad added, still glued to the TV and Deandra. "Besides, the storm is going to miss New York entirely. You'll be safe."

"If I'm not? We don't have any family in the state."

     "You're going to be alright, I promise." I was used to his promises. They meant a lot to me when I was younger. I've long since realized the the promises were nothing but air coming out of his mouth. Still, Deandra really did look like it was going to hit a neighbouring state instead. Was it really too difficult to believe the words he said? 

“I’m going to go upstairs and take my meds.”  

“I’ll make some food if you want.”  

“I just ate. Thanks.”  

     I left them to it, shutting the door behind me before I collapsed on the bed. I fetched my laptop and scrolled through any new job listings that might give me some work for the weekends. None of them worked particularly well for a guy with anxiety, but I was going to have to deal with that eventually.  I took my Prozac and stared at the ceiling. It was just as bland and blank as it always was, though there was a spot of mold growing in the left-hand corner. The wind battered my window, but otherwise everything was quiet. When I was finished looking for places that would never hire me, I opened a few books and started taking down notes. My phone was flung to the other end of the bed so it wouldn’t distract me, though I wanted to call Hannah and see how she was getting on.   

    She had enough of me today. I would talk to her tomorrow...  

*  

     Friday was the worst, because that was when I had to meet Adam.   

     I fed my feet into my socks, and once I was dressed, I moved to the bathroom to make sure I looked reasonably okay heading in there. I wasn’t; I kept waking up in the middle of the night and my eyes looked horrifying. I was going to need to get a haircut as well. I was starting to get a breakout of acne on my forehead, though. Best to save the trip to the barbers until they were gone.   

     My parents left a mess of spreadsheets and coffee cups in the living room, and the TV was still on. It probably meant that they only went to bed in the last hour or so. I made sure to tip-toe around the mess in case I woke them up, counting my money before I stepped outside. New York’s streets looked like a mess; there were leaves on the pavement, stripped from the trees. Puddles were everywhere, though I didn’t remember waking up to rain last night. I shrugged and moved on, because there wasn’t a lot of time left before school started, and I just wanted to get this bribery over and done with so I could actually focus on some of the societies.   

     I still panicked at the thought of it, though.   

     I saw a lot more coats and scarves and umbrellas – a real sign that autumn was well and truly here. It was gonna be Halloween soon, and Christmas wasn’t too far around the corner. Naturally I thought of what presents to buy for my friends and family, and realized that I wasn’t going to afford anything. My family could start asking me where the money was going, and I didn’t take enough buses or order enough fast food to explain all of that. What would happen if they found out about Adam?    

     I forced myself to snap out of it. I wanted the meds to start doing their thing before I suffered another attack.   

     Once I arrived at Maspeth, I saw him waiting there for me, right outside the door. We were doing this in broad daylight, in front of everybody. It was almost as if he was showing me how little people cared about this, that nobody would help even if they knew about what was going on. I swallowed pretty hard and marched up to him, hoping to get it done as quickly and as pain-free as possible.   

     “S’up!” He called out, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pretending we were best buds when we were the furthest thing removed from that. Oblivious people past us by, unaware.   

     “Can I just give this to you and be on my way?” I asked. I heard the break in my voice when I said it. So did he.  

“But we're just getting started!”   

     “What do you mean?” Usually he just accepts the cash and heads away. “I have it right here.”  

“Oh, I know. There’s been a complication.”  

     “W-what?”  He strolled into the hall, and I had no choice but to follow him. Why didn’t I call to somebody who actually worked here for help? Why did I carry on with this crap when I should have stopped this months ago?   

     Because it was Malcolm we were talking about, here. Nobody could know about him. I had to remind myself at what was at stake here.  We walked until there was nobody left in one of the corridors, and he stopped.   

“That girl of yours, Percy. Turns out people are talking 'bout what happened. Either she's openin' her mouth, or you are. Takin' a hit to my reputation.”  

     “Adam, please.” This was too much. “You already raised it to $20 I can’t pay more than that.”  

“Well now it’s going to be $40.”  

     “Forty dollars?” I didn’t have that type of cash. He had to have known that.   

     “It’s not my problem.” He continued, and whipped out his phone. I wondered what he was doing, but he seemed to be bringing some sort of site on the screen.  

     Then he showed me - it was a dating app. The profile had no picture attached to it, and it used a fake name. I felt my cheeks heating up, putting two-plus-two together. Next, he showed me what sort of messages he got on this site.  It was Malcolm. 

     He took his sweet time showing me the entire conversation they had. Malc was completely oblivious as to who he talking to, asking questions like what he looked like and what he was interested in, and then came the pictures. I snapped my eyes shut as soon as I figured out what was coming. 

     “You’re disgusting, Adam!” I cried, forcing myself to look away before I could see anything as I backed against the lockers. 

     “Maybe I am.” He chuckled. “You never told me why you’re the one footing the bill, by the way. Wanna tell me?”  

“No.”  

“Fine, that’ll be $50 then.”  

     “Because Malcolm’s my friend, you asshole!” I shouted out a little too loudly. Before I knew it, his hand was against my mouth, slamming me into the locker.   

     “Quiet, or I’ll spill everything right here, right now!”  He was terrifying, nonsensical. He had pure hatred in his eyes, his hand was so large it gripped my entire jaw. He let me go eventually, and I gasped for air and slouched to the ground. He seemed pretty satisfied with that.   

     “Why?” I whispered, more to myself than anybody else. Adam heard it as he took the money off of me.   

     “'Cos,” he began, just as quietly, “Queers like you should be driven out of this damn country.”  

     He walked away, and left me there to collect myself and dry my eyes. I only hoped Malcolm would come out eventually, I wasn’t going to be able to keep this up for much longer.  

 -Hannah-  

    The layout of Atlas park was a complete mystery to me. Didn't stop me from running as far as I did, though. My hand still hurt, his face engraved into my damn mind. I had ever seen anything like that, it was like he disappeared and was replaced by a completely different person. I felt horrible – I heard Jack call my name as I pushed out the front door – but I didn’t have it in me to go back and apologize. I called my Dad, fighting back tears.   

“Hannah?”  

     “I need to go home, now.”  

“Are you alright? Where are you?”  

     “I...” He wouldn't have had a clue of where I was. “Is Jess there? Does she know where Atlas Park is?”  

“Give me a second, Hannah. Is there anybody following you? Are you alone?”  

     “I’m by myself, Dad! I’m safe just...put Jess on to me!”  Percy’s eyes, I couldn’t shake it.   

     “Sweetheart.” It was Jessica on the phone, her usual cheery voice replaced with concern. “Where are you? You said Atlas Park?”  

     I was nowhere near the actual cinema, so I looked around furiously for some sign or landmark. “I’m on Copper Avenue, right next to T.J.Maxx!” The signpost was just a few meters away.  

“I know where you are, you stay right there and I’ll drive there!”  

     I hung up and shut my eyes - I jumped the gun and overreacted. They were gonna hate me, weren’t they? The wind picked up a little bit, enough to give me chills. I looked for the door to T.J Maxx and walked inside, hoping that they hadn't spotted me. They looked like they knew what they were doing when they ran towards him. They had obviously seen it before and knew what to do - I didn’t, not the foggiest idea.   

     It was a lot warmer inside, the ground floor covered almost exclusively with cutlery and furniture. My phone buzzed inside my pocket – I forgot to put it on silent when I was in the cinema – and it could only have been Percy. I stood still for a few seconds as I took a quick breath in anticipation. It was going to be a long-winded message about what a terrible person I was for leaving him there when he was quite literally fighting to breathe. The sense of guilt hit my stomach like a sucker-punch when I unlocked the screen, ready to face the music.   

     It was just two simple words.  ‘I’m sorry.’   

     That got to me. He blamed himself, the poor boy. I wanted to tell him that it should had been me who apologized. I also noticed that he actually tried to call me a few times. I immediately wrote back to him in an empty aisle, shelves soon to be stocked with items, allowing me some semi-privacy for the time being.   

     ‘You’re fine. I’m just not used to that. Didn’t know what to do. At home now. Talk tomorrow.’  I wasn’t home, but I didn’t want them looking for me. I needed space for myself. I sent the message, and hoped it would be enough until tomorrow. I had to talk to him in person, to apologize.  

     I made it to an aisle stocked with nothing but mirrors. My hair was an unkempt mess, something I hadn’t realize. Patting it down didn’t really work, either. I was once again reminded to work on my roots when I was able to afford some dye. I just stood there and looked at myself, wondering how I ended up like this. Just a few weeks ago I was in London, and even though things were far from perfect it was still a situation I was comfortable in. I felt like a fish in a very different pond over here.

     About thirty minutes passed before Jessica was back on the phone. I told her where I was, and left the hall of mirrors behind as I raced outside. The back seat of her yellow Audi was the most familiar place I've been in so far, and once I saw it parked outside it was a genuine godsend. Jessica had both hands on the steering wheel as she sped off, worried.   

     “Sweetie, what happened?” She asked, nothing but concern showing in her voice. I looked outside as we passed the cinema, I didn’t see any of them.   

“Nothing happened to me. It wasn’t even anything to do with me.”  

“What do you mean?”  

     “It was a friend. He had a panic attack.”  A few seconds of silence.   

“It’s not your fault, Hannah. Have you ever seen somebody go through that before?”  

     “No.” I confessed. It probably wasn’t my fault, but I shouldn’t have just left him there!  

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s scary to witness if you don’t know how to help them. Did it scare you?”  

“It terrified me.”  

“Talk to the person and just say sorry to them. Just be honest, they’ll understand.”  

     “I shouldn’t had left him, Jess!” I replied. That guilt still burned in my stomach, and it wasn’t going anywhere. She had to focus on the road for a few moments, so she didn’t immediately respond. I took the time to check my phone, hoping Percy had gotten my message. He hadn’t read it just yet.   

“We thought something happened to you, sweetie. I’m just glad that you’re okay. Your father was worried, too.”  

“I should had told you what happened, you had things to be doing.”  

     “Hannah. You’re important, don’t forget that.” We stopped at a set of traffic lights, and Jessica made sure that she looked at me when she said that. I knew that she meant it - the same person I tried to push away ever since I got here, the same woman I immediately hated because of what she did to my parents.   

     “Thanks..." I choked a little bit, and that was when I realized I was fighting back tears. Was I in shock?   

     “We’re going to get you home, and we’re going to get you something to eat and drink.” She promised me, I just laid back in my seat and closed my eyes as I tried to forget about the last few hours. I heard the wind noise outside, and saw some stray pieces of paper as they flew in front of the windscreen. It wasn’t looking good out there.   

     We made it back right as the sun disappeared, leaving behind a very pretty sunset. When I got out of the car, I just looked at it for a second or two. It was an idea for my hair color. A chill in my spine brought me back to reality.

     “Hannah!” Dad cried out, worried.   

     “She’s fine!” Jess assured him. He relaxed a bit once he heard that.   

     “You had me bloody worried.”  I ignored what he said and dropped my bag on the nearest seat, only then realizing how sore my shoulder was from carrying it around all day. Dad wanted to probe me and ask what was going on, but Jess wasn’t having any of it. She dragged him into the kitchen under the orders of setting the table as my hands were glued to my phone, looking at my message and reaffirming that Percy had indeed read it.

     I forced myself to drop it after five straight minutes of looking at the damn thing, my shoulder a little less stiff now that I wasn't shifting dead weight. I launched myself onto my bed once I made it to my room, and emptied the bag's contents on the sheets. Homework was an absolute chore – I still didn’t have the right book for History, so I went online and grabbed a PDF of the chapter I needed. Once I got most of it out of the way, I simply laid on my back and looked at the ceiling above me. It was covered in cobwebs, the light made some pretty interesting shadows that I never noticed. Since this place was going to be my permanent residence, I decided I might as well clean it every once in a while, but the spiders weren’t doing any harm, and for somebody who had been displaced, I really didn’t have it in me to get rid of their home. Curious, I reached for my camera, getting as close as I could to one of those little architects. There wasn't a chance in hell that it could zoom that close, but I got a few nice pictures at certain angles. One of them looked perfect; the spider looked directly into the lens, its eyes clearly visible. It must had been frightened, looking at the massive alien object in front of it. I'm sure there was a metaphor in there somewhere, but I was too tired to find it. 

     My door knocked a few times before Dad’s head peeped through. I didn’t realize how much time had passed but I realized it was dark outside when I sat up.   

“Darling?”   

“Hmm?”  

     “There’s someone on the phone...”  That took me by surprise.

“Who?”  

     There was a pause. “It’s... Henry. I just wanted to ask if you wanted to speak to him.” I wasn’t expecting that. I couldn't tell whether or not I actually wanted to. I didn’t know what he wanted to talk about. I didn’t know what time it was over in the UK and if he was staying up deliberately late just so he could call at this time.   

     “Sure, pass him over.” I eventually answered. Dad loved Henry; he was practically family. It didn’t surprise me that he tried to get to me through Dad since I got a new number for the States. He handed the thing to me, never really stepping inside my room. At least he was respecting my space. His phone was a clunky old thing – he obviously got a new phone and number of his phone once he knew he was flying here – but he kept this one for people back in the UK. Including Henry.   

     “Hello?” I didn’t want to hear the waterworks, especially with the day I've had.   

'Hi, sorry for getting to you through your Dad.' Henry sounded...different. It took me a second to remind myself of the time difference, the boy must had been exhausted. 'Couldn’t get through to your old number.”' 

     “Yeah, needed to change it. Sorry.” 

     'Heh. So, what is it like in the Big Apple?' He was doing small talk, his voice sounded so damn familiar yet different at the same time, and not just because he was feeling tired.   

     “Unexpected. Not at all like it’s shown on TV.”   

     'It almost never is.' He responded; a half-chuckle thrown in for good measure.   

     “How's it back home? I miss it.” I really did. Just hearing his voice made me homesick.  

'Well, can’t complain. parents were asking for you, hoping you’ll visit soon...'  

     “When you say parents, do you mean your parents or...”  

'Well, I would obviously love to see you again. No doubt about it.'

     We stayed silent for a while. It was a little awkward, considering what had happened the last time we spoke. I wanted him to say something else – anything else – to keep the chit-chat going, but nothing. I realized it was up to me. I looked outside my window and the street lighting outside, illuminating the trees on the sidewalk.   

     “How are you holding up?” I eventually asked. There was no dancing around the subject.   

'Honestly...fine. It’s actually one of the reasons why I’m calling, Hannah.'  

     “Oh?”  

     'Look, I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty about all of this. You didn’t ask to be taken halfway across the world. I think I overreacted...I’m sorry.'  I... didn’t know what to say. 

     “Don’t worry about it, Henry. I’m just glad you’re doing OK.”  

     'I did catch a little cold from being out in the rain, though.' I rolled my eyes.

     “Of course you did, you have the weakest immune system, God!”  

     All I heard was laughter on the other side. 'Some things never change, huh?'  

     “Please consider taking supplements!”  

     'Yeah, maybe I should.' More silence, but this was a lot more comfortable. We spoke the way we always spoke to each other, falling in the same routine in compliments in the shape of insults. I didn’t realize how much I missed that until that moment.   

'Look Hannah, I need to go, but I just wanted to say sorry, and I hope you’re doing alright.' 

     “I’m doing fine, Henry. Thanks for checking up on me.”  

     'I still care about you. I’ll just care about you as a friend, don’t worry.' He... he dealt with it a lot more maturely than I thought he would. I hadn’t even realized that I had no answer for it.   

'Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have said that...' 

     “No it’s OK! Really, thanks for saying that! I really want us to keep talking.”  

     Another half-chuckle, 'Great! Listen I gotta crash, talk to you soon?'  

     “Talk soon.” I promised him, and the line dropped. I was going to have to give the phone back to Dad, but I digested the short conversation. He was going to be OK, he was going to get through it and we were still going to be friends. I hadn’t completely lost him, after all. I needed to hear his voice.   

*  

     I wasn’t the best morning person - when I woke up, my eyes stung from the lack of sleep. Of course, it was entirely my own fault, but I still groaned at the sound of my alarm. It took all of my decaffeinated will not to fling it across the room. I grabbed a set of clean clothes from my closet – a bit of yellow and brown in my leggings and jumper to reflect the September vibe – and I shuffled downstairs and into the kitchen. Dad had beaten me to the coffee machine, his office shirt half-tucked into his trousers. He was running late; I usually never saw him in the mornings.   

     “Sorry Hannah,” he grumbled, moving aside so I could grab my own cup of coffee. He knew how grumpy I was in the mornings. Jess’s coffee machine was a little miracle, before I knew it my cappuccino was ready. The damn thing tasted so good that I had to fight the urge not to chug the whole thing.  Dad went on about contacting him like I had yesterday if there were any other problems, but I told him everything was fine. He rushed out the door while I was left with the kitchen all to myself. I sipped more of my coffee and dwelled on the day ahead. There was that political society for Aisling this evening. I groaned yet again when I thought about it.   

     She'd better keep her side of the bargain.  

     Coffee finished, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and make sure I resembled something vaguely similar to an actual person, realizing with dread that I didn’t have enough time to put any sort of make-up on. It was gonna be completely natural today.   

     The trip to Maspeth was the same as usual; the bus was cramped and full of screaming kids a few years younger than me while my year hung at the back and talked about sports or gossip. I put some headphones on and hoped nobody spoke to me - it took a while before the caffeine kicked in - and looked at everybody outside. It was a lot nicer than it had been in the last few days, the sun was actually brightening up the place, which made New York look a lot friendlier than it had been since I arrived. It was a last-ditch effort from the summer before autumn well and truly set in. I took it as a good sign for the time being and listened to café music. I felt a little bit better about everything by the time I arrived at school.

Then I saw Percy, walking alongside that human pig.   

     Curious, I was one of the first people to get off of the bus, shoving aside anybody who got in my way. I remembered what he said about him, and from the looks of things Percy was being escorted away from everybody else. I followed, but made sure there were a few people in front of me so it didn’t look obvious.   

     Was that why he panicked yesterday? Was he worried about this?   

     “Hannah!”  Of all people, it was Aisling. She barged between me and the person I was following, all bright-eyed and happy and annoying.   

     “Not now, Ais.” I told her, attempting to move past her. She back-tracked and stood in my way again. No caffeine was enough to stop me from knocking her out of my way.   

“I have some questions about the meeting after school. Any topics you think we should cover tonight?”  

     “We’ll talk about it at break!” I promised, and it took every fiber of my being not to push her aside. I didn’t care if she was genuinely trying to be nice, I needed to find Percy because he was talking to that excuse of a guy. They were gone, damn it!  

     I tried looking for them, but I couldn’t find them in any of the corridors. I reached for my phone, furiously typing as quickly as I could.   

     ‘STOP talking to him!’  I sent it, but there was no notification to say that he read it. The bell rang, and I swore to myself. I wasn’t sharing a class with him until third period, and I tried upstairs one more time on the off-chance I could find him, but I couldn’t see them at all. The best thing I could do was just head to class and hopefully find him in-between periods, but that meant that during English and Math I couldn’t focus. I scribbled notes down just so I could read over them when I actually had time, but other than that I was completely pre-occupied. One of the girls I spoke to before – I think her name was Patricia – tried to start a conversation about the UK and how she had an uncle who flew to Wales the other week, but I wasn’t in the mood for it. It didn’t stop a group of them from continuing to ask me questions about London though. All it did was get on my nerves. It seemed so juvenile now. I checked my phone from underneath the desk from time to time, but there was no answer.   

     I had to talk to either Jack or Malcolm.   

     Class wrapped up, I was the first out that door, and tried to pick their faces from the crowd. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any luck – it was a big school, after all – and I could only risk about five minutes of searching before I had to go into my next classroom. I actually recognized this lecturer – who couldn’t when he sported a nose like that?  – and he looked pretty unhappy with me being late. I pretended to smile and apologize but my eyes were already scanning the room, hoping if Malcolm or Jack were sharing this period with me at the very least.   

     No luck, and I didn’t have any way of contacting them.   

     Was this how Percy felt all the time? Always worrying about something like this? It must had been torture. I could only take my seat and pretend to be occupied with the subject but the minutes crawled by awfully slowly. Aisling sat a few rows in front of me, but she pretended not to notice me when it was obvious, she glanced at me when she thought I wasn’t looking. I obviously rubbed her up the wrong way earlier. I didn’t care. The wait was agonizing, I chewed on my pen and looked at the clock over and over again and prayed for the class to end.

     Thankfully, after an entire age, the bell mercifully rang. I sprang out of my desk – actually scraped my knee off the edge of it – but I pretended that nothing happened even when a few pairs of eyes looked at me and wondered what was going on with the foreign student. I combed the corridors again, pushing anyone and everyone out of my way when they got too close.   

Then I saw him.   

     It wasn’t Percy. Instead, it was that blonde head that stood taller than everybody else. Adam was busy laughing with a few of his mates, pausing to open his locker. I took that as my opportunity and marched up to him. It actually took him quite a long time before he noticed I was standing in front of him, considering he was used to looking down at people.   

     “What?” He asked.   

“Cut the crap, where’s Percy?”  

“Oh him? Don’t worry 'bout him, strictly between us.”  

“Look, you might think you’re all high and mighty with your bullshit but if you don’t tell me what you’re doing to the guy - “  

     “You’re threatening me?” He cut in, like the concept of somebody speaking against him was impossible, “What are you gonna do, bimbo?”  

“Last chance.”  

     “Last chance!” He mimicked, actually showing the nerve to crouch so that he was level with me, “How 'bout you get your nose outta your queer boyfriend’s business?”  

     I answered the only way I could right there and then - a direct punch to the nose.   

     It actually pushed me back more than it did to him – his face was a lot harder than I thought – and I clutched my arm in pain. My second knuckle took the brunt of the impact, and it was busted up pretty badly. Thankfully, he seemed to be worse for wear. He staggered a bit, blood freely pouring from his nose.  

     “You...you bitch!” He cried out, but two or three of his amigos held him back. Everybody surrounded us now, obviously engrossed in the whole spectacle. I flexed my fingers while he was being carried away, but he never stopped screaming. “You’ll pay for that! You hear me? Bitch!”  

     I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I swore I was about to throw another punch until I saw who it was - Mr. Geoffry, the only lecturer I knew by name.   

“Follow me.” 

-Percy- 

     I couldn’t concentrate. It wouldn't had mattered how much medication I took this morning, I couldn’t stop thinking about Adam or Malcolm, I couldn’t stop thinking about the hurricane and I couldn’t stop thinking about Hannah. My hands shook and I couldn’t write properly. My hair kept getting into my eyes and no matter what I did it always fell back into its usual place. I had to tell someone what had happened this morning. Adam physically assaulted me, he would have easily had gotten suspended, his blackmail would had been exposed and I would never have had to worry about it again.  

But then he would tell everybody about Malcolm.  

    Malcolm's cover was about to be blown. He needed to prepare to come out, but what would he say if he realized I hadn’t told him about the situation after all this time? I felt a lump in my stomach from guilt, added on top of everything else. No amount of Newton’s Laws of Conservation of Momentum would distract me. I only hoped my blanket of hair gave the illusion that I was looking at my book and paying some sort of attention.  

     My phone buzzed in my pocket, a notification from one of the last people I had expected to message me - It was Aisling.  

‘Can we talk after class?’  

     I looked up. She sat at the other corner of the room, taking down her own notes. She was right in front of the teacher so she was doing a pretty good job of keeping her phone a secret. The hand that held it was underneath the desk, her thumb darting all over the place. She was able to message blind?  

    ‘Um OK.’ I wrote back, and she put her phone back in her pocket once she looked down to read it. Why did she write to me now?  

     The hands on the clock moved so slowly, I genuinely thought that the thing was broken. Time couldn’t have possibly moved that slowly, could it? I scratched the page of my book with my thumbnail, because the jarring sensation took my mind off of everything for just a second. When the actual bell rang it felt like a triple period distilled into one, and there was an entire day left to get through. I rubbed my eyes when I stood up, hoisted my bag over my back before walking outside the classroom.  

I waited for Aisling.  

     A familiar lump in my throat, I stood there and waited anxiously before she finally walked outside. She didn’t seem to be angry, but she wasn’t so happy either. Her hair was tied in a ponytail, which wasn’t normally her style. It looked nice.  

“Hey.” 

     “Hey.” I replied, the first time we spoke face-to-face in quite some time. We just glanced at each other awkwardly for a few seconds. I waited to see what she would say.  

“I need to talk to you.”  

     “OK.” Still didn’t know where this was going, and that worried me even more. Adam could be roaming anywhere in the hallways, and I had to share a class with him in English soon.  

“It’s about Hannah.” 

“What?” 

“Look, I know you’re talking to the girl, and I’m not sure what’s going on but even if you’re just friends...” 

“Yeah?”  

     “Just don’t do to her what you did to me, OK?” I didn’t want to be reminded of what happened on top of everything else.

“Why are you bringing this up, Aisling?” 

“She spoke to me. Maybe I went too far. Me and everybody else.” 

“It’s fine.” 

“Is it?” 

     We walked together, we had to get to our next class. I just looked at my feet as we moved.  

     “I felt bad.” I admitted, though it was nothing she hadn’t heard before, “I always said I was sorry, but this has haunted me for years now.” 

     “We can call a truce.” She suggested, but it didn’t seem like a simple fix. Aisling and the girls were pretty ruthless when it came to taking me out of most of our circle of friends. Malcolm and Jack were all I had left for a long time. It wasn’t something I could just sweep under the rug and just forget about. I didn’t say much for a little bit. I just didn’t know what to say. She continued. “Well, Hannah and I are going for a meeting tonight after class. Part of my society. You can come along if you want.” 

     “I... I can try.” I responded. It seemed like an acceptable compromise for the moment. I could at least think about what I wanted to say. That answer seemed to be enough for her.  

“Cool, right after school then.” 

     She branched off before I had a chance to say something back. I was left by myself, but I was right by my next class so it didn’t bother me that much. History had Jack and Malcolm alongside me, so I was able to tolerate that period. Just seeing his face reminded me of Adam and the situation, though. I tried to come up with the bad news in my head, because I needed to break it to him.  

     “S’up!” He called out, making it all that much worse. I only smiled and nodded when I took my seat.  

     History came and went without too much fuss; just some paragraphs about Columbus and how great he was for ‘discovering’ the states. Of course, this place had always been here, so not much of it made sense. Worse, the pages didn’t mention any of the horrific things that came from his discovery. I tried my best, but Malcolm and Adam played in my thoughts far too much. My cheeks were flushed, the realization of what might happen settled in.  

I had to tell him, right after class.  

     I checked my phone, just in case Aisnling sent something else about that society. Instead, I got a message from Hannah. I hadn't even realized, she must had sent it a few minutes ago.  

    ‘STOP talking to him!’ It took me by surprise, and I felt an instant lump of dread. She saw me with him again! She was going to say something to him, wasn’t she? 

     ‘DON’T TALK TO HIM! HANG ON!’ I typed furiously, hoping and praying that she saw it and stayed well away from him before I could sort things out. I needed to tell Malcolm now. 

     ‘Malc, gotta talk to you!’ I wrote. I really started to panic now, he seemed to notice once he realized my eyes were practically glued to his face. He frowned, wondering what I was doing, so I gestured to my phone and hoped he understood.  

     “Percy?” Ms. Hazle was relatively new to the job. She came in from Florida the year before to take up the role of our history teacher, and she was genuinely interested in what she taught. She was also uncompromising. I’d seen people get on her bad side. I didn’t want to be there.  

     “Sorry.” I apologized, but she wasn’t having any of it.  

“I can see the phone, Percy. Bring it up to me now. You can have it back at the end of class.” 

“B-But - “ 

“I don’t want to hear it! Up here, now!” 

     Everyone turned to look at me. I turned bright red. I breathed a little quicker, and I looked at Malcolm. He had no idea what was going on.  

     “Percy.” Hazle repeated. You could actually see a vein on her forehead, threatening to burst. I shuffled up to the front of the class and handed her my phone. She swiped it out of my hands and into her desk.  

     “I would like a word with you after.” She warned me, and I had no choice but to nod to turn back to my desk. While I walked back, she took the time to warn us about the dire consequences of leaving their phone open in class, and what would happen to us if we dared to do that in front of her again. She trained her eyes at me for the rest of the class, so I couldn’t even so much as turn my neck. I wanted to run, as far as I could and to never look back. I felt Malcolm and Jack’s gaze from the corner of my eye. I was frozen in place, unable to reciprocate.  

     When the bell did eventually ring, Malcolm immediately grabbed my shoulder, concerned.  

“What’s goin' on?”  

“I have to talk to you, alone. Wait for me outside.” 

     “Alone? Is it bad?” I didn’t have time to answer. Ms. Hazle called my name again, and I really needed my phone back. I head towards her and hoped her speech towards me was swift and painless before I could be set free again. I only thought about Hannah, and what might happen. She waited until the whole damn classroom was empty before she decided to speak to me. She pinched the bridge of her nose, annoyed but not annoyed at me, somehow.  

“Look, you've got a clean record, so I’m not going to take this any further. Just make sure you don’t do this again.” 

     “I won’t.” I had never said anything with a deeper meaning in my whole life. She handed back my phone and basically told me to leave her sight with an arch of her eyebrows and a scowl. I didn’t need any more motivation than that.  

     Malcolm was outside the door. He hung by the lockers, concerned.  

“Percy, you’re worrying me.” 

“Look, I’m about to tell you something, just keep calm after I say it, please.” 

     “Percy just tell me!” He called out.  

“Well...” 

     “Hey!” Jack shouted, hyst as he turned a corner and ran back to us, almost bumping into Hazle as he did so. He seemed short of breath.  

     “What’s going on with you two?” Malcolm asked, his arms crossed and expecting a clear answer. Jack looked at me for the longest time before he spoke.  

     “It’s Hannah. Mr. Geoffry basically grabbed her by the arm and brought her to the Principal. She punched Adam’s lights out.” 

No... 

     It sunk in so quickly that I almost fainted. It was the worst-case scenario. The entire scene collapsed all around me. I wanted to sit down and forget all of this had happened.  

     “Why did she fucking do that?” Malcolm cried out, but I didn’t have the words to answer him. He noticed. So did Jack. “Is this something to do with what you’re gonna say?” 

     “Jack, please give us time alone.” I whispered, but he shook his head. 

“Percy, just spill it. You obviously know what’s going on.” 

     “It’s Adam...” I couldn’t say it in-between breaths, but I had to. “Adam knows about Malcolm...” 

     Nobody said anything for a while. It could had been just a few seconds, but they stretched out for an eternity. I stared at Malcolm the entire time, watched as he put the pieces together, and how his face morphed into pure terror.  

     “How...” He whispered.  

“He was going to tell everyone...” 

     “What has that got to do with Hannah?” He was angrier now, in full fight-or-flight mode. His eyes looked terrifying, I had never seen him like this before.  

     “I... I paid him, to keep him quiet.” I admitted, knowing damn well how bad that sounded. “Hannah must had seen him taking me aside today.” 

     “Oh boy...” Jack muttered. I couldn’t look at my best friend’s face anymore, but I couldn’t look away. His hands were coiled into fists, and they were shaking pretty badly.  

“You should had told me...” 

     “I know, but I didn’t know how you were going to react, and I didn’t want him blackmailing you, either!” I reasoned, but all that did was aggravate him more. He grabbed onto my jumper, rage in his eyes.  

“You should have told me!” 

     Jack had to tear him off of me, He had never seen him like this, either.  

“Malcolm!” 

“You know my parents, guys! You know what they’re like! You know what they’ll think of me!” 

     “Malcolm!” Jack repeated, but he wasn’t having any of it.  

“He’s gonna tell everyone!” 

     “I’m going to talk to him!” I promised him, but he shook his head, tears flowing down his cheeks.  

     “Leave me alone!” He shouted, and ran away from us as quickly as he could. I tried running after him, but Jack got a hold of my arm and stopped me in my tracks.  

     “Wait!” It was useless. Malcolm had already turned a corner and disappeared. I turned to Jack, petrified.  

     “You should had told him.” he started, but took a breath and closed his eyes, “But, I can see why you kept it from him. Look, we need to give him some space. He can stay at my place if things go south. Better talk to Hannah and Adam and try and contain this long enough for him to come out properly.” 

     “Am I a bad person?” I asked, shaking so badly that he needed to hold me to stop me from falling to the ground.  

“Of course not, Percy. Let’s get you to the cafeteria, screw the next class.” 

     I nodded, but my legs tingled and I felt like they were about to . We passed what was essentially our gym, which was nothing but a basketball court and a few lockers to store other stuff in. The closer we got to the cafeteria, the more densely packed it became. Of course, there was nothing but Hannah and what had happened on everybody’s lips, which just reminded me of the whole thing over and over again. Should one of us had gone after Malcolm? Jack was obviously well aware of how I would feel if I was left by myself right now, but he should had chased after him. I didn’t know what to do.  

    There were teachers everywhere, shooing everyone away and telling them to go to class. Before I knew it,  Hannah popped up on the other end of the hallway, standing out from the sea of faces with the colors in her hair and the solemn expression on her face. She walked with who I assumed were her parents, with Geoffry not far behind. I ran towards her, Jack following close behind.  

    “Hannah!” She turned towards me when she heard her name. She was clutching her hand, but didn’t seem bothered otherwise.  

    “Why did you do that?” She didn’t answer, because it was her father who stepped in.  

    “Hannah doesn’t have time. She's going home.” He stated. I stopped in my tracks as she turned away and was escorted outside.  

    “Please call me?” I cried out, but she didn’t answer that, either. They disappeared outside. I turned to Jack like he somehow had the answer to fix this, but he was obviously just as stumped as I was.  

    “Malcolm.” He stated. I nodded. 

    We searched everywhere for him. The cafeteria was the first choice, but it was annoyingly empty by the time we got there. By now everybody had been herded into their next classes, so the halls were empty when we raced through them. We checked our next class, but when we peered into the door we found his desk was empty.  

    He left the entire school?  

    I tried calling him, which of course gave us nothing but static on his end. Jack looked around, stumped.  

    “We’re gonna have to ditch this place.” I told him.  

    “Not a chance,” he countered. “We’re going to get through the day and look for him after. You know what kind of trouble we’ll get into if we just flunk this place?”  

    “What about - ?”  

    “Look, I know!” He didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t stop the feeling that I was about to faint.  

    Then it hit me.  

    “Jack...” I started, but there was nothing my friend could had done, because the attack washed over me. My legs seized and my hands began to feel numb, frozen in place. He draped his arm around me while he reached for the nearest possible compromise to a paper bag. All the deep breaths in the world wouldn't had been enough to fix what had happened to Malcolm. I took those breaths, regardless. Jack knew where to go, helping me walk as we moved towards the nurse’s office. Evelyn knew me well - I remembered my very first day in school, when just the sheer unfamiliarity of the place was enough to knock me out. I was surrounded by those four walls at least once a month nowadays. By the time we actually made it to the door, I felt dizzy and groggy. I felt bad for putting Jack through all of that, but it suddenly dawned on me that l could be sent home. It might had been the only way to go after Malcolm.  

     Evelyn sat at her desk when we opened the door, reading a magazine in one hand and her phone in the other. She dropped both of them once she saw me - I must had looked worse than I thought - and knew exactly what had happened before I opened my mouth. 

     “Come here, let me take a look at you,” she called out, helping me to the nearest chair as she took a look at me.  “You’re quite pale."

     "I don't think I can be here right now." I admitted, entirely the truth even when it felt like a lie. She checked my breathing and shined a light into my eyes, happy when I responded properly. Jack looked awkward standing by the door, not really sure of what to do with himself.

     "Are your parents still out-of-state?" Evelyn always asked that question, and it mostly recieved the same answer. It always made me realize that they were almost never around, but the feeling usually vanished by the time I made it home. Jack offered to help me home, though Evelyn was hesitant. Eventually she conceded.  

     “Alright, but from now on we’re really going to need a family member next time." I promised her that I would, even though I never did.

     Jack carried my bag for me, even when I was coming out of the worst of it. He didn’t look at me until we were actually out of the front door, it got pretty cold, my cheek was slapped with a breeze from the right. 

     “So where we looking first? Can’t exactly call his parents and ask where he’s gone.” 

     “I’ll try calling him again.” I already had his number on the screen, but when I pressed the phone to my ear I was predictably greeted with silence, followed by a disconnection. He was deliberately cutting me off. I tried calling Hannah, and it was the same story there, too. Once I was well enough to stand on my own power, I risked jogging back to my place while Jack followed suit. Elmhurst Park was first -  close enough to run to, and not too large for him to be hidden there for long. The  one most likely place to try was the public restroom, an interesting-looking circular building made of brick. If he was there, it would be the best place to hide.  

     No luck.  

     Annoyed, I tried calling him again, and almost slammed my phone on the ground when he didn’t answer. I started welling up. This was all my fault, wasn’t it? Jack put his hand on my shoulder, obviously catching on.  

“It’ll be alright. He’s a tough guy, you know. It’ll all work out.” 

     “How do you know that?” I replied, “How do you know things aren’t gonna end badly?” 

“Because it’s Malcolm we’re talking about, and he has us!” 

“Some friend he has, huh?” 

     He looked at me, and I mean he seriously looked at me, I swore I saw straight into his soul.  

     “Stop it, Percy Sturton.” It was so simple, but those four words made me relax a bit. I forced myself to take in a big breath of autumn air, and let it out just as slowly.  

“OK.” 

     “Now, we’re going to leave Malcolm alone for the moment. If he needs us, he’s going to message us. I’ll be around 'til ten, and you have an empty house. If push comes to shove, he’ll be looked after. Now go home and get some rest, because that was the worst panic attack I'd seen in a while, and you’re never well after one of those.”  I nodded, he made sense. Malc wouldn’t want to talk to me right now, anyways.  

“Wanna walk me home?” 

     “I’ll head to my stop.” He suggested, “If I do happen to run into him, I’ll grab 'em if I have to. Better to split up on the off-chance we run into him. Otherwise, we’ll find him in the morning. Talk to you tomorrow.”  

     I nodded, and he took off. I made him mad, hadn’t I? Everyone was mad at me. Everyone.  

     “Stop it.” I whispered, trying my best not to believe what I thought was real. I wasn't in any rush to head home, especially when the leaves on the pavement made it nothing but a hazard. Dark clouds loomed in the distance, which meant another spell of bad weather at some stage in the future. I walked right towards them, worried that Malcolm would be caught out in the middle of it. New York was a big city, I wasn’t going to find him unless he wanted to be found. I risked one more call, but I looked at the six previous attempts, and instead sent him a message once I realized that I was probably annoying him.  

‘Hope you’re alright.’  

     I sent it, making a very conscious attempt to put my phone away and not look at it again. My eyes stung, and the people who passed me on the way home gave me some very concerned looks, but I tried to shake it off and ignore them. My teeth chattered after twenty minutes or so, which made me grateful for the central heating in my home. I slammed the door shut and switched it on, giving a quick scout of the place in case my parents were still around. Thankfully, they weren’t.  

     I just broke down on the sofa, exhausted. The plan was simple. I literally spoke about all of this with Malcolm on this very couch; about how he was going to come out, about what courses we were going to take in university, and the kind of guys he wanted to hook up with. We came up with failsafes in case things genuinely did go south, but now that he realized that I bought Adam’s silence? That he knew all this time about my friend? I remembered the conversations on Adam’s screen, and despite myself I remembered half of an image that he had sent to that bastard.   

     My phone rang; It was Malcolm!  

     I swiped it from the couch, my voice still shaking from crying, but I couldn’t care less.  

     “Malc!” 

'P-Percy. I need help.'

     “Where are you?” 

'He told everybody, Percy. My parents know. They told me not to come back.' 

     My heart sank.  “Oh no...” 

     'I’m not feeling great...” he started to cry. 'Please, can you come get me?'

     “Where are you?” My coat was back around me as I fed my arms inside its sleeves. I rubbed my eyes to try and stop them from being irritated so much.  

'I... I don’t know. I took a bus out. I needed to get away and I made a mistake and I’m so sorry!' 

     “Do you recognize the place?” I called out, grateful that I was alone right now. 

'No... I’m sorry.'

     “Turn on your GPS.” I suggested, patting my pockets to make sure the keys were still there as I burst outside, “I’m coming to get you!”  

'... I’m sorry.' 

     He hung up, and I was about to call him again when something else popped up on my screen. It was an innocent little message, until I actually read it.  

Emergency Alert: Extreme 

Hurricane Deandra warning in this area at 5:50pm EDT. Take shelter now. Check social media.

 -Hannah- 

     The Principal’s room was small. It reeked of dust and it was poorly lit. An artifact of a TV stood in the corner, much like the ones we had in the UK. I still remembered how happy my ten-year-old ass was when one of those rolled out in the middle of the day. Now it just sat there and gathered more of that dust that filled my lungs. Geoffry was annoyingly alongside me at all times. I knew the way this was gonna go - I committed an offense that warranted expulsion. He would have hated it over in London, that sort of thing happened once every week. I knew my parents were called even before he told me - I punched a guy in the face, after all - but the funny thing was that I didn’t regret it, not a bit. Adam got what was coming to him, my only concern was my own hand, to be honest. It was going to need some attention, with one of my knuckles very clearly not where it should be.  
 
     “It’s like you don’t care.” Geoffry hissed, showing some emotion for a change. I didn’t say anything, because none of my words were nice. The door opened, bringing in some much-needed fresh air, and the Principal walked in... followed by my parents. I didn’t care how John – he probably wouldn’t want me to call him Dad after that – felt, but Jess looked devastated. 
 
     The Principal himself – didn't catch the name – was an elderly man with a penchant for tweed and a heavy moustache. He fitted the room perfectly. It took him a few seconds to actually take his seat, relying on the armrest to stop him from falling over. Once he was comfortable, he took a look at everybody in the audience. I shuddered, realizing what was about to happen.  
 
     “Hannah.” He started, his voice full of gravel. “You understand how serious an offence this is?” 
 
“I do.” 
 
     “This is the first offence of this kind since Maspeth opened its doors." He continued, pausing to cough his lungs up with the dust that coated the room. "It pains me to say that, but we have to treat this with the utmost urgency." I knew what was coming. It was funny, I hadn't even been in the school for a full week and I was already about to be kicked to the curb. I had seen ASBO kids last longer than I had. In any other situation, I would have felt slightly proud of myself, something to talk about to my friends. Unfortunately, I wasn't in London, and I wasn't surrounded by my friends. This wasn't an achievement and it didn't feel like one. Even the warm, fuzzy feeling I had when I broke his face had disappeared.  
 
     “Do I have a chance to defend myself?” I knew I didn't have an absolute prayer, but I guess there was no harm in arguing about it. 
 
     “We would like to hear your side of the story, yes.” Geoffry chimed in, while he moved to my right-hand side, “we’ll need it for the records.” 
 
     “Only for the records? Not out of courtesy?” 
 
     “No, not out of courtesy. I don’t see why we need to extend that to you.”  
 
     “Because I’m a student of this school?” I countered. Geoffry said nothing after that. 
 
     “Why?” The Principal asked. I took a quick look at his desk, and noticed his nameplate on the towards the edge of the desk and covered in more of that damn dust. It read Jeremy M. Murdoch. At least I got that much. 
 
     “Well Jeremy, Adam was blackmailing Percy.” I started, keeping it as simple as possible. 
 
“We're not at liberty to discuss something like that." 
 
“I don’t want to discuss it. I’m only saying that for a boy with anxiety, how would it look for this place if a bribery story came out?”  
 
“Do you have any idea why he was doing this?” 
 
     Damn. “I don’t, no.” 
 
     “We’ll need to discuss that with him, alright. However, you shouldn’t have gone and taken things into your own hands. We simply cannot overlook this; the family could threaten to sue this school for leniency. To be perfectly honest, they have grounds to sue you.” 
 
     “You’re not a lawyer.” I interrupted, but Dad was having none of that. He gripped my shoulder with his hand, telepathically telling me to stay quiet. 
 
     “Is there anything we can do?” He whimpered like the coward he was, “She's had a difficult transition since moving here, you can understand, right?” 
 
     “She’s expelled, with immediate effect.” Jeremy responded, standing back up again, which emphasized his point considering how much effort it took for him to do that. Dad sucked in a great big breath, horrified for his little princess. 
 
     “I guess that's it.” He eventually answered.  
 
     “I'm sorry, but there simply isn't any other alternative. You have the right to appeal the decision, most certainly." He paused to reach under his desk, fetching a pen and paper. Jeremy scribbled some contact details and handed it to Dad, who didn't have much of a choice but to accept it. "Geoffry will see you outside.” 
 
     The old man had enough of us. I stood up and hoisted my bag over my shoulder as I thanked him. I couldn't even look at Jess, but Dad was doing enough glaring for the both of them. Almost as soon as we walked outside, I knew the news had spread around the place like wildfire - You could hear it in the rooms and behind the walls, just echoes and whispers of what Hannah had done. I couldn’t help but feel just the slightest bit proud of myself, but I thought of Percy again and that pride vanished. An entire mob had gathered in the main hall, absolutely feverish with excitement. They called out my name, it took a number of teachers to keep them at bay and to usher them into their actual classes. I held my bad hand and looked down as we walked outside, but then I heard his voice - “Hannah!” 
 
     Percy ran towards me, with absolute panic on his face. Jack followed not too far behind, and it was obvious from his own expression that he wasn’t the biggest fan of me. Dad cut in before I had a chance to speak, telling him that I was going home. He wanted me to call him - or at least, that’s what I thought I heard, I was too busy being pushed outside to pick up the full request. - either way I wasn’t too sure that I was going to have a phone at all when they were done with me.  
 
     The trip home was full of silence - no car radio, no wind noise, no conversation. I stared outside of my new mobile prison and looked at the buildings and the streets and the people of this still-unfamiliar place, because it might just be the last time I looked at them for a while.  
 
     “Dad?” I risked asking, but he kept tight-lipped. Same for Jess - silent treatment. I was used to dishing it out so I couldn’t complain now that the tables had turned. Once we made it home, I let myself out – even when Dad was on his way to open the door for me – and took my last big breath of the Manhattan air before I was escorted inside, the door shut behind me.  
 
     “Sit down.” It was Jess that started things off. I did what I was told and sat on the reclining sofa while they continued standing. There was no trace of a smile now.  
 
     “Hannah.” Now it was Dad’s turn, and I knew how he usually liked to operate when telling me off. “What in God’s name did you think you were doing?” 
 
     “I told you.” I reminded him. 
 
     “Jess was getting fitted for her wedding dress when she got the call. She had to drop an appointment she made weeks in advance.” I genuinely didn’t know that. 

“Jess, I’m so...” 
 
     “Sweetie..." She began, shaking her head slightly, "We've been trying to help you settle in, and look what you've done. What are we going to do about all of this, now?"  
 
     “But what about me?” I called out, “He was being blackmailed, for months!” 
 
     “That’s out of your hands!” Dad yelled, and this was the second stage of his usual rants: rage. “You should have reported it! It would have been dealt with! Do you understand that this is on your permanent record, Hannah? Do you realize that you are now royally screwed for university placements, both here and in the UK?” 
 
     “I don’t care!” I shouted just as loudly, still wary that Jess was in the background, an unfamiliar component of our usual arguments. This wasn’t the first time I was suspended and it probably wouldn’t be the last, but I knew exactly how long Dad stayed mad for and how he felt afterwards. I knew nothing about Jess, but I could tell that she’s reached her breaking point.  
 
“His parents are threatening to sue us, Hannah. This is the States. Things work differently, here!” 
 
“Oh, look at you, worrying about money before your own daughter. How fucking rich!”  
 
     “Hannah...” This was more than a growl now, the third stage of Dad’s usual rage process, but Jess cut him off, calm and collected.  
 
     “John.” Just like that, all the rage in his eyes seemed to...vanish. His shoulders relaxed and the color of his face returned to normal. 
 
     "It's going to be pretty difficult to get you enrolled in another school." She continued, that same look of disappointment on her face. 
 
"Yeah." 
 
     “Do you want to stay in the US?" She asked, "If you don't, then maybe we should think about flying you back to the UK." Even Dad was taken aback by that. It obviously wasn’t something they had spoken about.  
 
     “Jessica.” He whispered, even though I was still completely in earshot. "You know I can't discuss this with her mother, she has to stay here." 

“She just got expelled from High School. Her mother is going to have to be told, regardless. Sweetie, it's up to you." 

     "It's like you don't even care that she assaulted another student in broad daylight!" He argued, making me feel very uncomfortable. Granted, he wasn't exactly wrong. 

     "I want to stay..." I eventually conceded, realizing I was handed a ticket just a few days ago and I passed on it. 

     "No more incidents like this, then." She warned me, leaving the room and the both of us behind. His face turned an uncomfortable shade of red, and I was genuinely afraid for the first time in a long time. He slowly turned towards me, almost speechless. 

     “I’m calling her, Hannah.” She was going to chew into my ear, but it couldn't be helped. "I never should have brought you with me." I felt a lump in my throat and swallowed to try and make it disappear. 

     "You're damn right you shouldn't have brought me, wasn't that what I was trying to tell you this entire time?" The words stung, because now I wanted to stay more than anything else on the planet. I landed here just a week ago, yet it felt like a lifetime away. I only met Percy and I was convinced that maybe, I liked the boy. Dad was just going to pass me off to my mother so he could continue along with his happily ever after with a woman who could do so much better than him. I didn't say a single word after my statement, I just watched him as he kept his eyes glued towards me, and noticed how I inched closer to the door. 

     "Don't even think about it Hannah." He growled, but he wasn't going to stop me. 

     I bolted for the door, opening it and shutting it behind me as quickly as a girl with one good hand could do it. Without thinking, I charged down the sidewalk - even when I heard my Dad as he called my name - and put as much distance between me and 69th street as I could. Plenty of people were quick to glance at the multicolored racoon that nearly tackled a few pedestrians onto the ground, but I didn't care. I had just enough change for a one-way bus and I was gonna use it. My phone was thankfully fully-charged, and I scrolled through the very few list of names before Percy's name was displayed. A bus was parked by the stop, an incredible stroke of luck. Dad gave chase behind me, but he was lost to the crowd. 

     His number rang out, so I put it away and tried my best to come across as a teenage girl looking to purchase a bus ticket, and not a rabid vigilante intent on fleeing the country. The driver wasn't impressed, but money was money at the end of the day. The bus was almost completely empty, save for a scraggly old lady with bright red hair. I sat at the back corner, mentally willing the driver to put his foot on the pedal and to jet us out of here. I tried calling Percy again, but didn't get an answer. I groaned, my hand throbbing in pain and generally just annoying me. I didn't have anybody else to call in the states, and when I tried calling Trish I was given the same response. 

     I was by myself for the time being, on the run in a city I knew nothing about. All of my documents and what was left of my funds were nestled in my suitcase, so I knew I had to go back eventually. I tried not to think about that. It actually reminded me of the one time I ran away from home in London, back when my parents were still together and fighting regularly. That bus ride led me straight to Trish's house, and Dad had the nerve to get the guards involved and file a missing person's report. I wasn't so sure if he would be bothered with doing that now... 

    We drove over Queensborough Bridge, and I made a quick mental note as to what stop I needed to get off. I didn't know where Percy lived, but Elmhurst was close enough for the time being. I still needed to get in touch with him, though. I wasn't going to be able to stay outside forever. Finally, after what appeared to be a lifetime, he answered. 

'Hello?' 

    "Percy!" I was both excited at hearing his voice, and annoyed that it took me so long, "Listen, I need your help. I'm on a bus to -" 

'Hannah don't you realize what's going on?' 

    "Huh?" 

     'Did you get the stateside alert?' Now he was just speaking in riddles. I told myself that it was the discomfort in my right hand that made me feel irritated, and dialed myself back a bit. 

    "What are you saying?" 

'Hurricane Deandra, Hannah!' 

    "What about it?" I thought we were in the clear. 

'It's ...it's gonna hit us.' 

    I stopped dead in my tracks and looked outside - it was a clear evening, no clouds in sight whatsoever. Surely it was a joke? A part of me knew it wasn't. I just cut myself from Dad and Jess! 

     "Crap..." 

'It gets worse Hannah, Malcolm's missing.' 

     "Malcolm? Where in the bloody hell has he gone?" 

'Look... my location is visible, can you come see me, please? We need to find him.' He sent me a copy of a low-res GPS map, including where he was. It was somewhere between 33-39 on 69th Street, still an awful distance away. 

     "I'm on it." I promised him. My Elmhurst stop came up before me - I actually semi-recognized the road now - so as soon as I was dumped on the sidewalk I began running straight towards my destination. Right as I turned the corner, a simple message popped up on my screen. 

~~Emergency Alert: Extreme~~ 

Hurricane Deandra warning in this area at 5:50pm EDT. Take shelter now. Check social media. 

     I stopped walking when I saw the big bold writing. It was a very real, very dangerous warning, and his friend was going to be out in the middle of this? If we weren't careful, so would we. I kept running anyway, because I couldn't stop what I'd already started. The sun was beginning to set, and while my phone battery dwindled I paused to take a breath, my ribs in stitches. Everywhere I looked, people rushed from place to place, Deandra panic setting in. We were given less than twenty-four hours notice about a hurricane I had only ever seen from the comfort of my own TV. Cars already poured onto the road, trying to get as far away from the city as possible. Horns sounded and people shouted as I rushed past, making things even more serious than they already were. If it got any darker I wasn't so sure we could find Malcolm, but once I got my breath back I kept moving, not once stopping until I made it to 34th Avenue. My sides burned and I felt my heart in my throat as I limped the rest of the way, making sure Percy was on the line once I was near enough. 

"You there?" 

     'Um...' his voice broke a little bit on the line. 'Where are you?' 

"Come outside, I'm on your block!" 

     He immediately disconnected. I hoped and prayed that I was on the right street. Cars began to pile onto the roads, creating jams as more and more people looked for a way to leave the city. It slowly became a terrifying place to be in, especially when it would be dark soon. 

"Hannah!" 

     I had never been more glad to see another human being in my entire life. I rushed to his house once I found him outside his front door. It didn't take a lot to see how he fared with the news. I collapsed onto his couch once I landed inside, cradling my injury. I seriously needed a doctor for my damn hand, and I was so short of breath that I was actually wheezing. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe just a little more like a person before I saw how Percy managed. The TV was on, several news reporters argued with each other while a real-time feed of Deandra played in the background. 

     "I thought it was meant to hit Maryland and Virginia!" I called out, once I had enough air in my lungs to formulate a sentence. 

     "It rebounded." He explained, glued to the TV, "Something to do with an immense change in high and low pressures. I don't know." 

     "Malcolm?" I brought up his name. Percy froze immediately, still staring at the screen. 

"You shouldn't have done that to Adam." 

"Like hell I shouldn't." 

     "You remember when I said I was covering for somebody?" He asked, switching off the TV while he grabbed his own phone. I was vaguely aware of the conversation, when we were that La Parada place. 

"Malcolm was the person you were covering?" 

"Yeah." 

"So I - " 

     "Yeah." He pressed. There was a venom in his voice that I had never heard before. 

     "How bad is it?" I risked asking, testing my fingers on my bad hand. They still hurt, but I was still able to bend them. 

     "He was outed. Adam told everybody, including his parents. They kicked him out, into this storm." It made my damn blood boil, just hearing that. I was gonna do more than bust his nose once I found him. 

"Oh god... I'm so sorry." 

"There's nothing we can do about it now except find him." 

     "Okay, so let's go find him!" I called out, but he hesitated. 

"His GPS turned off a few minutes ago." 

"Where was he when that stopped?" 

"Queens." 

"Percy, I don't come from around here. How far is that?" 

"On foot? We won't have enough time." 

"He knows where you live, get him to go back here!" 

     "He didn't think about that!" He cried out, and I realized he was holding things back until now. "He panicked and got a bus, now I don't know where he is!" 

      It was the same face I saw in the cinema, the face of somebody in complete and utter panic. I didn't have any magical words to say that would make things better, not when a god damn hurricane was bound to hit us. We heard sirens pass by, both police and ambulances. We were going to be told to evacuate pretty soon. He was on the phone to what I assumed was his parents, just barely holding back tears. It was hard to watch. I glanced at my own phone, knowing what I had to do. I dialed my Dad's number and held it to my ear, waiting for it to get me through. 

     'Hannah!' It was an outright roar, louder than I had ever heard him even with the patchy reception.   

"I'm safe, don't go outside looking for me!" 

     'Hannah I swear to god when I get my hands on you - ' I ended the call. It went about as well as I expected. I only hoped that they weren't outside looking for me when this thing struck. That was my own mistake. I glanced at him, curled on the corner of the couch with his phone in his hands. I wanted to help, though I was pretty sure that it would do absolutely nothing to help. 

     "Malcolm..." he whispered, again and again. 

     "Let's go." I told him. We still had time. I only hoped we found his friend before that time ran out. 

-Percy-

     I struggled to hold it together. It was difficult enough to go through a normal day, but with Malcolm out in the open and Deandra looming towards us I had a deep dark pit in my stomach that just refused to go away, the kind of panic that I wanted to claw right out of me. I couldn't even keep my phone in my hands when I tried to call my parents, wondering why they flew to Munich when there was even a slight possibility the hurricane was gonna hit us. I was so calm about it, why did this suddenly hit me now?

     Hannah looked at the TV, bringing herself up to speed with Deandra as its live feed was plastered across the screen. Her fist was bruised from where she punched Adam, the entire reason my best friend was out in Queens right now. I tried not to think about that, but of course it was the only thing I could think of, the possibility that he could be hurt, or worse...

     They hadn't answered, but I didn't stop trying until I actually managed to get through. I didn't care what sort of meetings they were in, I didn't care how important they were and what clients were affected. I had no extended family anywhere near New York, I was left by myself. I should have argued about this to them. I should had flown with them.

     'Percy?' I finally managed to get through to Dad, his voice hoarse. It was probably down to the connection.

"Dad!"

     'What's wrong?' He didn't even know.

     "Dad, what do you mean what's wrong? Have you seen the news?"

'Wait... tell me what's going on.'

     "It's Deandra! It's going to hit us! How don't you know about this?" I cried out. Hannah noticed.

'... What?'

     "Why did you leave? Why did you both leave? Why didn't you think of something in case this thing hit us?"

'It was meant to avoid us completely - '

"Well it's not!"

     There was silence on the other end of the line. I heard movement - Dad was obviously rushing to a different room to talk to Mom - but I just hung up. I was just too torn to deal with this, fighting back tears. The sirens outside only added to the problem.

Malcolm...

     "Let's go." Hannah said. She looked like she had been through hell herself.

"Your hand..."

     "I'll manage. That wasn't the first time I used my fists." I didn't want to think about why she needed to use them before. I got up and darted for my bedroom while she continued to watch the TV, gathering as much supplies as I could as I stuffed them into my bag. Books were carelessly thrown on the floor to make more space, the rest of my medication stashed in its own little compartment. I was running short, but I tried not to worry about that, not when everything else was already swimming around in my head. A quick glance around the rest of the room - a few spare clothes were stuffed until my bag was full - and I shuffled downstairs again, hoisting a spare bag I carried when I was in middle high and tossed it to Hannah. She seemed to know what to do with it, immediately moving towards the fridge and grabbing anything she could find. If the storm was as bad as people said, the house might not be even left standing when we came back to it. More sirens passed the window as people argued just outside my door. I tried not to think about that, either.

     "Percy." Hannah called out, snapping her fingers so she got my attention, "You're just staring at the counter for the last five minutes. We need to go." I hadn't realized that, I was in my own head too much right now. I zipped my bag and threw it over me, made sure the TV was switched off and that I had a portable charger. My phone needed to be alive, it was the only thing that connected us to Malcolm right now.

     We burst outside the door - right past a couple and their screaming toddler, I didn't recognize them - and the first person I saw was Melinda as she was escorted into the back of an SUV by who I assumed was family. She looked at her little garden with tears in her eyes. I put my hood over my head with my hair over my eyes, blocking out everything else. I couldn't afford to think about my neighbor right now. Hannah was right beside me as we walked along 34th, and the absolute chaos that followed it. Every square inch of the tarmac was covered with cars, several drivers out of their vehicles as they shouted at each other. Officers were everywhere, trying to calm the situation. She seemed nervous, but Hannah was never around this part of the neighborhood. I was sick and tired of the tingling feeling in my hands, of the need to control my breathing. I should had taken the meds when I had them.

     "How's your hand?" I knew I already asked that, but I needed to make some sort of small talk to take my mind away from this disaster for just a few moments.

"I'll be fine."

"Aren't your family worried? About you being out in the middle of this, and all."

"My family... trust me, they've probably never been happier."

"They probably didn't like the fact that you knocked someone out."

"Percy, I'm sorry that I put your friend in danger, but please don't hang that over my head."

     "I... I didn't mean it like that." I thought about holding hands in the cinema, how nice it felt. It was an entire world away from today.

"I know you didn't... look, can I be honest wth you for a minute?"

     Any other topic of conversation was better than what we had to deal with. "Yeah, sure."

     "I like you, Percy." It just came out of the blue, I stopped in my tracks as soon as I heard it.

"You... do?"

     "Yeah, I do." I felt like there was a but coming, and I looked at her face as she stood there, uncomfortable with that overstuffed bag over her shoulder.

"But..."

     She sighed. "Look around us. The place is falling apart, and your friend is out here in the middle of it. "

"I understand."

     "No, Percy. You don't." She replied, cutting me off. We really should had been walking, but everything else seemed to melt away while she spoke. "I... might be flying back home."

     "I..." I didn't know what to say. I knew she wanted to fly back to the UK, but she said it with a tinge of regret.

"It's why I'm here. Needless to say I got expelled and I just had the talk with Dad, didn't even realize what was happening out here before I spoke to you."

"But you don't want to go..."

"I don't have a goddamn idea what's gonna happen, so let's just grab your friend, deal with this storm and I'll handle what comes next."

     "But... I like you too." I admitted, watching as her face softened. "Can we at least try?"

     She looked off into the distance, gazed at the crossroads and the families who were perched on the outside fire exit staircases. The traffic lights had lost all meaning, the road entirely gridlocked.

     "Let's just keep moving." I was forced to agree to that, so I led the way and tried not to think about that conversation.

     I saw the moon on the other side of the sky, just as the sun disappeared. The darker it got, the worse people became. Their arguments became full-fledged pleas, which became more and more terrifying the longer we walked. I couldn't get through to Jack once I tried to reach him, the guy was probably already on the road to Minnesota. I couldn't tell if it was me and my placebo reaction, but I swore it got a lot blustier. I shivered in my ungainly jacket, and Hannah wasn't prepared for the cold whatsoever. I offered my coat but she refused, content with rubbing her hands.

     It took a solid ninety minutes before we turned to 108th St, and left the bulk of the traffic and people behind. The roads and buildings looked completely unfamiliar to me, nothing but construction equipment and signs sealing off the entire pavement.

     "Sure this is the right place?" She whispered to me, and to be honest I wasn't exactly sure myself. Malcolm could had moved in any sort of direction since his phone died. I only hoped that he hung around long enough to find him, or was somewhere safe if he hadn't. I felt a lump in my throat, still on-edge. We reached 45th, which was nothing more than an alley with graffiti sprayed everywhere, yet even there it was plastered with cars trying to leave. We tried to squeeze past, but one of them grabbed onto my shoulder and spun me around, completely blindsiding me.

     "Kid, what the hell do you think you're doing?" It was an officer, his grip was so strong that I couldn't escape even if I wanted to. He was middle-aged with a graying beard, and he didn't look like he was in the mood to have a chat.

"I need - "

     "You need to turn around and head indoors. Where are your parents? There's an evacuation in progress!"

     "I need to find someone!" I called out, but Hannah got in the way, placing herself between the both of us.

     "We need to run, sorry!" She cried, pushing me in the direction we were travelling. She broke into a sprint, I panicked and moved as quickly as my legs would allow me, well aware that the officer was right behind us, ordering us to stop. She disappeared behind a mob of people once we broke out onto an actual street, I ducked and dived through as many of them as I could in an effort to follow her. My heart pounded in my chest, desperate to cling onto her so I didn't lose her in that absolute mess of a situation.

     "Hannah!" I didn't know how far ahead she was, and I didn't know just how far behind the officer was, either. I was stuck in the middle of a panicked limbo, just a field of bodies and hands and limbs in my way. A sudden accidental elbow from a woman struck me in the eye and knocked me to the ground. I lost all sense of direction, the sky blocked by this mob. Suddenly, a pair of hands were on me; that officer caught up to me, dragging me to my feet.

     She burst through the crowd, grabbed a fistful of my jacket and pulled me away from the general chaos. We kept sprinting until I tastes my lungs in my throat, turning back every few seconds to make sure that nobody was following us. The place where I was hit throbbed with a dull pain, but nothing that would cause any real damage. Thankfully we seemed to lose that cop, but there were dozens of others walking around and generally making sure the city didn't fall into complete madness. I didn't know where we were anymore, I crouched and took in a deep breath, my ribs hurting.

     "So, where are we off to now, Navigator?" She wheezed. Her bag had vanished, she must have dropped it in the middle of that dash. I honestly didn't have a clue where we needed to go now, so I looked around to try and get a sense of direction. My phone was beginning to run out of juice so I fetched my charger and plugged it in. The damn thing didn't really have enough punch to charge it, but kept it at the current energy level. We were very close to where Malcolm last was, right by the Corona Golf Playground. I stared at the screen and kept walking, leaving Hannah with little choice but to follow me to 47th Avenue. Unlike most of the city, this street seemed completely deserted, save for the odd Nissan lying around. Not a single light was left on in either side of the block and not a person to be seen. Whatever sort of evacuation plan they had, it clearly worked.

     "Hey." Hannah held onto my hand, stopping me. Her fingers were freezing, and slightly shivered in my own. I wiped aside my hair so I could get a good look at her.

"Huh?"

     She leaned forward and kissed me. It was completely unexpected, but in a moment her arms were around me, her lips cold but completely pleasant. I was taken aback so much, I waited for the inevitable panic to set in. Much to my surprise, it never did. We just stood there for a few moments, almost everything else forgotten. I leaned in closer and closed my eyes, enjoying the moment.

All too soon, she pulled away.

     "That was meant for the cinema." She told me, her voice faltered slightly. There was a hidden meaning behind that statement; it was meant for when we were together, holding hands in a popcorn box and watching a movie that was so boring I had honestly forgotten about it. It was meant for a time before the hurricane changed course and before Malcolm disappeared. I understood what she actually meant.

"Thanks."

"Welcome."

     From there on out, we wandered aimlessly around the area Malcolm was in. The wind picked up, mixed with rain, making things really uncomfortable. At that point I insisted that Hannah took my jacket, and she reluctantly agreed and wrapped it around her. We moved toward the playground, the fence swaying with the breeze as we passed.

     And there, all alone in the courtyard, was Malcolm. I burst through the gate and planted myself around him, absolutely relieved. He cried softly to himself, his voice hoarse. He shivered, and was soaked from head to toe, his dead phone still in his hand.

     "Malcolm, Malc look at me!" I ordered him, but he refused to listen. I grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look at me.

"Malcolm!"

     "I'm sorry..." he wheezed, clinging onto me for dear life, his jumper stuck to his skin. I was so damn happy to see him. I thought that I was going to lose him, that he would disappear and end up as a missing person once Deandra had stormed through. I cried so damn much once my hands were around him.

     "Percy..." He shook uncontrollably. I wrapped his arm around my shoulder and helped him to walk to the gate while Hannah looked on. She took off my coat and offered it to him without a second thought, but there wasn't much another wet piece of fabric was going to do to help him. I helped Malcolm to move while Hannah held him from the other side, scuffling back towards my home.

*

When I checked my phone again, it read 2:57am.

     It took precisely that long before we made it back to my house, ducking and diving through everyone and everything until my arms and my legs ached. It didn't get much worse by the time we made it back, but the damage was already done. Malcolm collapsed onto the sofa once we let him go, and I ran upstairs to fetch any sort of dry clothes I could find while Hannah switched on the heating. I brought down what I could share and helped him to his feet, escorting him to the bathroom. He was cold to the touch, his lips frozen and blue.

     "Malc, stay wth me!" I pleaded, getting him out of his top and handing him a dry one. He accepted it weakly, finding it difficult to poke his head through the hole.

"How long have you been out in the rain?"

     "I dunno." He answered, a slight improvement compared to when we found him. I asked if he was able to take off his pants by himself, and when he promised me he was fine I left him to do that, shutting the door behind me. My kettle was flicked on as I searched for the nearest water bottle, knowing it was lying somewhere in the house.

     "Hannah?" I was so focused on my best friend that I had almost forgotten about her. She was busy squeezing the rain from her hair, and drying it with a towel that I gave her. "Tell me if you need anything."

     "Trust me, I'm fine." She answered, gesturing to the bathroom, "Please tell me he'll be OK."

     "I'm working on it." I promised her, finally finding what I was looking for in our spare drawer. "I'm going to make some food for us, and I'm putting him to bed."

"Sounds good."

     I nodded, nothing else left to say, but what happened back there still swirled in my mind. I knocked on the door to make sure he was alright, and he walked outside in my clothes, still shaking but at least he had more color in his face.

     "I'm sorry." He said for the hundredth time, and like the other ninety-nine times I told him it was fine, hovering over him in case anything happened. I helped him upstairs into my bedroom and ordered him to move under the blankets to warm up while I fetched him a plate of food. He apologized again after that. When I was confident he was going to make it through without dying, I turned back to Hannah. By now her hair was tied up pretty elaborately with that towel, her hands pressed against the heater.

     "We're screwed." She stated. I couldn't disagree with her.

     Things had calmed down since we left earlier, but sirens still blared every now and again. I ignored it and shoveled some pasta and mince into a separate pan and wok, enough to feed an entire family. I brought up my favorite cooking videos on my phone - even though there really wasn't any need for something as simple as this - and distracted myself with it for a few blissful minutes. The wind howled through invisible cracks in the wall and windows, but otherwise everything was peaceful. It could had been any other early morning.

"When are you flying back home?"

     "As soon as all of this is over, I bet." She responded, not moving from her spot. "Not exactly gonna be the favorite in the family, but they'll get over it."

     "Can we keep in touch?" It seemed so final now, an absolute certainty. Hannah smiled to herself.

"Of course."

"Because I really like talking to you, you know?"

"You're one of only a handful of people who've said that!"

"I mean it!"

     "You're so bloody naive." She joked, cracking them at a time like this, "Mind if I give you a word of advice?"

"Compliment you less?"

"Compliment me more, if anything! No, I mean a word of advice with Malcolm."

"I'm sorry?"

"Percy, anyone with a pair of eyes can see it."

"I don't - "

     "You like him, Percy." That - more than any other sentence - shook me to the core. I stopped stirring the food.

"How?"

     "It's simple once you know what to look for." She continued, removing the towel and parting her hair in its usual style, "Pretty much explains why you shied away from Aisling, it's why you shied away from me at the movies, right?"

I...

"Percy, you need to tell him how you feel."

     "What if I can't?" I questioned, abandoning any and all pretense that she was anything other than absolutely right. "What if he doesn't feel the same way?" The boiling water poured over the saucepan and onto the cooker, instantly turning to steam. I swore and moved it from the heat before too much damage had been done.

     "He will." She assured me, once my cooking disaster had finished. I wanted to press her more on this, but I heard shuffling upstairs - I lived long enough in this house to know when somebody walked towards the stairs - and sure enough Malcolm moved gingerly down the steps, cradling the water bottle in his hands. I was just grateful that his shivering had stopped.

     "You look a lot better." Hannah stated. He smiled and stared at his feet with each step.

"Thanks, both of you. I was such an idiot."

"Yeah, you were. You're not the only one. We still need to find a way out of here, though, shouldn't exactly be here when this thing lands."

     "What's your story?" Malc asked her, his lips still blue, but thankfully getting a bit more color in his cheeks.

     "I'm stranded on the wrong end of the city." There was no way her parents were going to be able to get Hannah in time. "I'm going to need to tag along with you two for a while, if you don't mind."

     "Tried my folks, of course that lead nowhere." Malcolm added.

     "Mine are in Munich." What a fortunate trio we were.

     "Jack?" I shook my head, I lost count of how many times I tried to ring him. I emptied the contents of the saucepan onto separate plates, handing them out around the table.

     "Bon Appetit." I called out, satisfied with our very own Last Supper. For about ten or so minutes, all we did was eat in silence. Malcolm still worried me with just how pale he was, and Hannah nursed her hand as it started to bruise quite a bit. The wind outside definitely wasn't just my mind playing tricks on me anymore, a stray breeze broke through the back door, opening it, I raced to it and slammed it shut again, locking it to make sure it didn't happen again. A chill coarsed through my shoulders from the cold air which seeped in, forcing me to  shiver.

     "There's a couple of high-rise buildings around this street." Hannah opined, trying to break the tension, "Stop some of the wind, I guess?"

     "We have enough food for a while." Malcolm added, I nodded. That wasn't the problem. There was a chance we would get out of this unscathed, but I wasn't going to hold my breath. The roads must had been gridlocked by now. We finished up, and I flicked the TV back on for any sort of updates. Deandra was predictably all over the channels, and the latest satellite image had it bearing down right on us. It was going to hit even before the predicted 5:30pm timeframe. Nothing about Deandra had been predictable, apparently. After he was finished, I helped Malcolm back up to my room, making sure he got some measure of sleep. He moved slowly but seemed better than even an hour ago. There was color in his lips and his cheeks by the time he pressed himself under the covers.

     "I owe you one, man." He whispered. I smiled and tucked him in.

"You don't owe me anything, Malc."

     "I mean it, you're the absolute best..." Malcolm's eyes were shut and he snored almost instantly. The guy was spent. I thought about what Hannah had said to me, and how she was right. Still, I didn't want her to leave. I didn't want to choose, and I didn't want to choose right now.

     I crept down to the living room; right when the power went out. The TV and light-bulbs winked off, and it reminded me that there were more serious things happening than the boy and the girl I liked. Hannah shot up out of her seat, more scared than I had ever seen her.

     "Crap!" She muttered, but was cut off by some flashing lights outside. I peeped outside the curtains to see what was going on, only to find that the cables outside had been severed. They flailed around in the wind and crackled with electricity, an absolute nightmare. We couldn't stay here, not when there was a chance those things could lash up against my house.

     "I'm grabbing Malcolm." I told her. "We need to get out of here."

 
-Hannah-

     The only hurricanes I saw were the ones I watched on TV.

     It was weird; I knew how destructive they were, we watched the news reports and the toppled buildings, at the people who called for help and everything else. We were always safe on the other side of the screen, knowing that we'd never have deal with it ourselves, a sense of detachment from very real problems which went on outside of our little bubble. London was a tip, but at least we didn't have to worry about the ground opening up or something like that.

     I was dealing with it now, and it was horrifying.

     Percy was back upstairs, waking Malcolm so soon after sending him to sleep. I paced the hall, well aware of the bloody cables that flailed outside. It was raining out there, God forbid what would happen if any of them touched the puddles by the pavement. I grabbed what I could, but in the complete darkness commodities were few and far between. We didn't even know where we were going, only that we had to leave, and to leave now. Jess and Dad must had been furious, scared, horrified that I was out in the middle of this, and there was no way of getting in touch with them right now. I may have just threatened their safety if they came out looking for me. Both of them hurried downstairs, several bags filled to the brim. I wrapped one of them around my arms. They were both scared, couldn't say I blamed them.

     "Any grand plans?" I asked, I wasn't going to head out there if we didn't know what we were doing. That bag was already pressing on my shoulders. I was tempted to throw half of the stuff out.

     "The Salvation Army." Malcolm replied. Percy seemed to nod, like he knew the place.

     "Please tell me it's nearby." I added. We weren't going to last very long outside.

     "It's practically next-door!" That was all I needed to hear. I moved towards the back door and risked opening it, hoping to see just what we were dealing with. As soon as I turned the knob, the door swung abruptly, helped by the wind. I fell backwards, deliberately arched so I landed on my good arm. The storm was relentless, dragging rubbish and rain inside. It took both Malcolm and Percy to close it shut again. His best friend slouched to the floor, back pressed against the door while the wind continued to howl. Percy and I exchanged looks.

     It wasn't looking good.

     "When you say 'next door', how 'next door' are we talking about?" I asked him. He was probably about to answer when something struck the front window, making a dull thud. It was those damn cables. We really couldn't be in the house if they sparked outside. He grabbed a fistful of Malcolm's jumper and forced him to his feet, guided by panic more than anything else. I understood, bracing myself for the outside. We opened the door and were immediately hit by the force of the storm, but pressed on as Percy fetched a key and made sure everything was locked before we continued. Rain poured down in blankets, soaking us almost instantly. We didn't have much of a say in that.

     "Follow me!" Percy cried out, taking the lead while Malcolm and I followed as best we could. Those cables could be heard as they lashed out at the front of the house, with several bins tipped over on account of Deandra. A sudden gust almost took my feet out from under me. It was probably just as well that The Salvation Army was close, because we wouldn't have a hope otherwise. A lone tree - added by the sidewalk to give some sort of greenery to an otherwise lifeless street - had already fallen on the road, and its counterpart on the other side wasn't faring much better. I decided to play it safe and climb over the one which had already fallen, reaching for my hand as I hoisted both of them over it.

     "Thanks.." Percy responded, but I kept quiet. We still had a long way to go.

     It was amazing how much of New York had changed because of Deandra; every single vehicle had disappeared, leaving the streets unusually empty. Rubbish was spewn everywhere, and I was genuinely surprised to see a few windows boarded up, considering how little time people actually had to react to all of this. Construction work was being carried out on one of the buildings before the hurricane struck, and a few of the pillars had already collapsed. It was a lot of destruction in a very short period of time, and it was just going to get worse.

     I had never been more afraid in my entire life.

     "Hannah!" I hadn't realized how long I stared at the damage before Percy snapped me out of it. I swore to myself and followed his lead, raising my arms to stop the relentless punches the wind insisted on carrying out. The rain stung my eyes as we carried on through 35th, there wasn't any real point to wiping the tears away, because as soon as I did it I was hit by more of it. It stung like needles. We all had the same issues, and Malcolm fared the worst out of all of us. I clenched my fist to test my still-bruised knuckles, greeted by the same dull throbbing. I gritted my teeth and carried onward, every single step an acomplishment in and of itself. It was only when we approached the junction between 35th and 85th did we notice just what we were dealing with - there was a multi-car pile-up. Five sedans and a truck, all showing wear and tear, one of which was a lone Mazda, overturned and shattered. The first thing I did was dash towards them - despite my best judgement - to make sure nobody was left behind in the wreckage. I'm sure I heard one of the two boys behind me as they called my name, but the rain drowned them out and I didn't care.

     Not a single person inside the Mazda. I breathed a sigh of relief, it was one less thing to worry about. A quick inspection of the others gave me the same answer: abandoned.

     Deandra picked up. It swept me aside almost effortlessly. One moment I was on my feet, and the next I tumbled to the tarmac, scrapping my arms and grimacing in pain. My bad hand took a bit more punishment than I'd hoped. I dragged myself upwards as Percy raced towards me.

     "I'm fine!" I screamed before he had a chance to say anything, but even that was lost to the hurricane. Rain kept getting into my eyes and rendered me blind, my clothes glued to my skin. Percy's hair managed to hide most of his face, his eyes peering out of stray strands that blew in every single direction almost at once. We kept walking, the three of us fools lost in the middle of that bloody nightmare. The wind was just so vicious, made all the worse once we hit another junction which exposed us that little bit more, away from the high-rise apartments. I was tugged along left and right, and I was getting pretty sick of it. I held onto Percy for dear life, who grabbed Malcolm in much the same way. We couldn't afford to be separated now.

     Then all of a sudden, something struck Malcolm at the side, and he fell to the ground in a heap.

-----

     "Malcolm!" Percy was already beside his friend, holding his face. His lips were blue and he was pale, this entire thing had taken too much out of him. We hoisted him back to his feet, carrying him by our shoulders. Malcolm's ear was cut, a slight trickle of blood pouring freely while most of his right cheek turned slightly red. The rain hampered our vision, and whatever had done the damage had since blown down the block. It didn't seem to be glass, because that would have left shrapnel that just wasn't there. He was shaking, he had been out in this weather long enough as it was. I remembered when Trish went through the same thing a few years ago. She ended up with a touch of hypothermia, I thought I was going to lose her back then.

     I wasn't sure what was going to happen to Malcolm.

     Each step took more and more out of me, I clenched my teeth and tried to line my feet with Percy's, making sure we lurched forward at the same time. This felt more and more like a suicide mission with every passing minute, my legs were threatening to give out and I wasn't sure how much longer I could last in this. I thought about Dad and Jess, probably out in the open and looking under every nook and crany for me. I was shot with guilt. I tried my best to hide it. Deandra seemed to grow even worse, the both of us struggling to carry our friend when it tried its very best to stop us in our tracks.

     I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me, but I was pretty sure I made out the silhouette of a man in the distance, a man who rushed toward us. Maybe it was the light at the end of the tunnel that everyone seemed to droan on about. Maybe I had enough. Maybe I was delirious from the cold. It could have been any one of those possibilities. In any case, I was starting to doubt that this fourth person was actually real, but I appreciated it when the weight of Malcolm was taken off my shoulders. I turned to Percy - the boy must had been in the middle of a panic attack by now - and I smiled. We could have dated, and we might have even made a pretty good couple, right up there with Henry.

     But there was no point, because even now, in my semi-delirious state - I noticed the way that he looked at his friend. He may have liked me - I believed that with every fiber of my being - but he loved Malcolm.

     That was okay.

-Percy-

     I didn't know who this man was - middle-aged, dark skin and his hair greying at the sides - but I was extremely grateful that he existed. I had never had an attack as bad as this, my hands were completely numb, both from the attack and the weather itself. I couldn't breathe. I began to see stars. My legs were locked up and the most I could do was shuffle in vaguely the right direction. He must had been from The Salvation Army, he had to be. We were so close to the actual building, though I wasn't even sure it was going to let anybody else in. I almost fell once Malcolm was taken off of my hands. Hannah was right beside me, and I reached for her, almost to make sure if she was still real and still beside me.

     A sudden burst of air pummeled us, sending Hannah and I crashing. I struck the back of my head on the concrete, almost knocking me out there and then. It was strange, because I didn't feel the actual pain from it even though I knew it was lurking somewhere back there. Whoever that man was, he had his work cut out for him. He loomed over me as well, hoisting me to my feet and ushered me inside what I hoped was the building we were searching for. All of a sudden, the wind vanished. It was a welcome relief after everything that had happened in the last hour.

     "You got som' nerve dancin' with Deandra like that!" He cried out, a thick southern accent that I had never heard before. I couldn't respond to him, and he obviously knew that. He escorted us to a small conference room, already filled with half a dozen or so people who were caught in the middle of this. All I heard were voices; a mother screaming for her child, that same child calling right back at the other end of the hall, and a man who strugged to contain his anger and exasperation at the entire situation. I sat Malcolm down, who was stirring but still unconscious. His cheek was starting to turn darker now, and his eyes fluttered in the back of his head.

     "What hit him?" He asked, but I didn't have the foggiest idea. He then commented on something to do with a car mirror, judging from the shape of the bruise, but I lost him somewhere in the middle of that. When my eyes were closed I saw black and white shapes, and when they opened again he was right in front of me, holding three fingers in front of me. He asked me something, but it was like I forgot the ability to understand the English language. He wasn't too happy about that. A few more people poured in, taking Malcolm away while gently escorting Hannah in another direction. I wanted to stand up and protest, but the pain was too much. He gently forced me to sit back down, as more from The Salvation took a look at me, shining lights inside my eyes. It probably took way too long for me to react, because they didn't seem too happy with me, either. It was my turn to be taken somewhere different, and while they helped me along a narrow corridor I tried to make out Malcolm of Hannah from the sea of faces.

     No luck.

     I took a seat once I was brushed inside another room, the word Jesus spelt out in wooden letters in the center of the room. The first thing I thought about were Malcolm's parents, the entire reason we were all in this mess to start with. My chest heaved even tighter, giving me very little room to breathe. Someone dropped two little tablets into a glass of water - acetaminophen was the one word I saw inscribed on one of them, although it was a minor miracle I could picture that on such a small thing - and I was encouraged to drink it. Once that was taken care of I was made to lie on my side, a blanket draped over me. I wanted to find my friends, but I couldn't hold off sleep for much longer. I slipped away, with Jesus being the last thing I saw before I did.

*

     The dream I had was different; I was underwater. I immediately realized this and tried to swim to the surface, but it never came any closer to me no matter how hard I swam. My lungs burned from holding my breath and my legs were heavy and weighed down. Eventually I gave up, forced to breathe in through my nose. To my surprise, I was able to breathe perfectly fine. Satisfied that death wasn't imminent, I floated in the middle of the ocean as I relaxed my fingers and toes. In this dream, I was aware of what happened out in the real world, but I was too exhausted to care. It wasn't a lucid dream, but I wasn't entirely following a script.

     I don't know what to do. Seven days. It only took a period of seven days for everything to be turned on its head.

     Did you ever feel that a few years down the line, everything you knew and took for granted could change? I continued floating lazily as the sun tried its best to brighten the place, I felt my hands as they stroked what I assumed were strands of seaweed, giving this place a bit of life.

     This is why I'm afraid; I'm afraid of the future and I'm afraid of change. The seaweed began to surround me, and in all honesty I just didn't care. I gripped them with my fingers, but didn't have the strength to hold on. I moved, and that sent me on a trajectory that sent me spinning. It wasn't unpleasant. Every movement felt like there was a purpose behind it, like I was heading towards a destination. I let the current carry me away from the seaweed and into the great unknown, the sun beaming in the distance.

     I don't want to be afraid anymore.

*

     Something struck the roof, startling me awake; the serene dream I found myself had vanished, and in its place was a room of people, reacting to the same noise I had. The wind continued to scream outside, terrifying a young child as she hid behind her scarf. Her parents tried their best to calm her down - to tell her that everything would be alright - but it was no good. I got up to my feet and started looking for Malcolm and Hannah, My head pounding. I almost forgot about falling over. The lights were cut out in some of the corridors and perfectly fine in others, so the only light peering through came from whatever windows were available. The particular corridor I found myself on was pitch-black, I reached for my phone to switch on its flashlight, but realized that the battery was dead. So was my power bank. 

     Crap.

     I peeked my head into every room I could, trying to find either of their faces among all these strangers. I stepped into the auditorioum and started looking again. Every single seat was occupied, most people carried a few cuts and scrapes and had enough simple medical equipment to help deal with them. I waded my way through as many people as I could, apologizing to a random stranger after I accidentally stood on their foot. The same man who took us in stood at the center of the room, tending to a wheelchair-bound woman. He had a nametag of some sort, the only part I could pick out was Benjamin. 

     Right behind him, slouched against a wall with her head between her hands, was Hannah.

     She noticed me before I was able to reach her, but once I tip-toed and danced around the few people in our way she stood up and wrapped her arms around me. It was the tightest hug I have ever had, the kind that sucked the air right out of you, but in that moment in time I didn't want to be anywhere else. I closed my eyes and returned the gesture for as long as I could manage. 

     "You have no idea how happy I am to see you!" 

     Hannah smiled weakly after I said that, scratching her head as she showed me her phone. It was dead, much like everything else. 

     "I don't suppouse you have a working one of these?"

     "I don't think anyone has a phone worth using right now."

     "Damn." She whispered, watching everyone around us. "At least a lot more people escaped this actual waking nightmare. How's your head?"

     "It could be a lot better." It started to ache again, and I realized I ran out of medication. Of course, once that thought crept into my head it was the only thing I could think about. 

     "We lost Malcolm again." She stated, and I nodded.  He wasn't in a great way. 

     We excused ourselves and left Benjamin and the rest of his co-workers to do their job. Another loud noise sounded over our heads, and it rained so hard that even the few unobstructed windows couldn't give us any idea of what it was like outside. People seemed to set up blankets in any space they could, completely taking over the corridors and making it a challenge to move without stepping on anybody. I didn't know when I was going to get some Prozac again. I hadn't run out of that in years. I forced myself to think of Malcolm. My issues were trivial compared to him. 

     "Percy..." Hannah nudged my shoulder, concerned. She pointed where she was looking. Malcolm was being examined by what seemed to be a doctor, sealed off from virtually everybody else in a tiny little room. I ran towards him and landed by his side, despite the doctor's obvious resentment. 

     "Malc!" I cried, looking for any sign that he was stirring. He seemed perfectly still, his bruising much more prominent. I could feel my eyes as they got watery, unable to hold it in any longer. Hannah was behind me, placing her hand on my shoulder as I buried my head on his chest. I wanted to punch Adam in the exact same place Hannah had, I wanted to hurt him and make him regret ever doing something like this, but my anger died down almost as soon as it began. Tears strolled down my face and onto his shirt and I couldn't stop. 

     "You must leave him be!" She ordered, removing her mask. Wrinkles lined her dark skin, an even heavier accent than Benjamin, Hannah helped me up while we were ushered out of the room, and the last thing I saw was Malcolm's eyes as they moved behind his eyelids, regaining some sort of consciousness. The door was closed soon after, leaving the both of us in the dark. 

     "He'll come around. Something tells me he's a fighter." Hannah's words didn't really do much to help, but I appreciated them all the same. I sank to the ground, and she followed not long after. Minutes zoomed past and countless people walked alongside us as Deandra roared beyond the walls. A few people walked in and out of Malcolm's room specifically, but no sign of him. I looked up at the ceiling and closed my eyes, hoping to wake up somehow and realize that it was all a dream. I reminded myself of being suspended in the ocean, completely free and at ease with myself...

     "How you holidng up, mate?" Hannah shook me slightly, waking me when I was dangerously close to dozing off. He lipstick was smudged, a colorful mess along with her hair. I liked her, I liked her a lot, damn it. I didn't want to choose between them. I wanted to feel strongly towards one person and nothing for the other, why did it have to be so difficult? I nodded without saying a word, because I didn't want to voice any of this. I knew who I liked more, and I was completely sure that he wouldn't feel the same. 

     All of this, while Deandra was busy tearing everything outside to pieces, making eveything I felt redundant. 

     "I'm not going to miss this sort of thing, y'know." She continued, curled up and watching as yet another person opened Malcolm's door and slid inside, "I'm going to miss people like you, though."

     "I wanna come over to London, sometime." I replied. " I might even visit Sussex if I have the time."

     "Well look at you, starting to believe me now?"

     "Not really, just want to see how long you can drag it out until you admit to me that you made it up." She punched me on the shoulder, and we just... relaxed. It was enough, sitting here with our legs crossed and waiting for my friend. Minutes slowly turned into hours, and my eyes were getting heavy from the lack of sleep. We soon started to share the corridor with a few other couples who were brought in from the storm. I micro-managed my clutter to make as much room as possible. A woman with overflowing red hair - a nurse from the looks of things - stepped quietly into the room, closing the door as silently as she could, but not before I heard my friend.

     He was awake!

     I stood up - I lost all feeling in my legs and almost lost my balance  - and barged through the door, surprising everyone. That woman was there, a stetescope in hand. Malcolm was sitting up straight, shirtless while she checked his breathing. He stared at me like I was a complete stranger, but I could see it in his eyes when he finally registered who I was.

     "Percy..."

     He barely had time to even say that, because I closed the gap and hugged him so god damn tight I hurt my own ribcage. It didn't matter. I had to be pryed from him by the nearest person next to us, reminding me of how bad he felt. Malcolm was forced to lie down again, his breathing staggered. I couldn't help but watch him.

     "I need a minute with him." I stated to that same woman, who had just finished tieing her hair into a simple ponytail. She was probably about to do another series of checks on him. Everyone else seemed to glare at me, but I was more anxious than I had been in years so I couldn't tell if this was actually the case.

     "We caught him before there was any permanent damage. You have two minutes, but when we come back in, you're to leave."

     I nodded. It was more than enough time.

     She gathered the rest of them - none of whom wanted to leave a sick patient behind - and poured out of the room. Hannah stood by the door, holding it open for them. I nodded at her. She nodded back and smiled, shutting the door behind her. We both knew what I wanted to do, now I just had to go and do it. I reached into my bag and grabbed a packet of crisps - one of the few things I could pack before we needed to leave - and placed them on his table.

     "Just something for when they're finished checking up on you."

     "You always got my back." He responded meekly, turning his neck so he could face me. His left eye began to swell up. I understood what the doctor meant.

     "Any idea what hit you?"

     "Something very, very hard." He complained, reaching to touch his cheek, recoiling. "Not something I want to go through again, to be honest with you."

     "Your skull's too thick."

     He laughed and gazed at the ceiling, and for a few seconds so did I, wondering what he was thinking about. I didn't have a lot of time to say how I felt. My cheeks flushed and I clenched my jaw, mentally churning the words out of my head and into my mouth.

     "Malcolm..."

     "Hm?"

     "There's... something I need to tell you..." He tried to sit up, bless him, but he just wasn't able to. The best he could manage was to support himself using his right arm.

     "I... Look...I think..." Why couldn't I get the damn words out? He looked at me, trying to extract the words from me as well. He must have noticed how red my face was at the moment, even with only one good eye.

     "The thing is... for the longest time...I think I..."

     He sat up... and then began to stand, causing obvious discomfort for him. I moved closer to him so that I could catch him in the extremely likely event that he would fall, and he did just that. I caught him there and then by the arms, a hair's width away from each other.

     "You know Malc, you're even clumsier - " He leaned in and kissed me, saying a lot more than I ever could have said. I clenched onto him, overcome with this fleeting sensation. I kissed him right back, unbroken for almost a solid minute, and it was the best minute I've ever had. It was different to Hannah's; it felt like the culmination of a lifetime of waiting, of mentally telling myself that I would never get the opportunity to do this with him, and proving myself wrong. I didn't even care when everybody swarmed back in, hoisting him back to his makeshift bed.

     I was shooed outside, so I couldn't even explain to him how happy I felt, but when I turned around all that excitement drained away in an instant.

     Right there, staring with absoute shock, were Malcolm's parents.

-Hannah-

Percy knew what he wanted to do.

I held the door open as those doctors and nurses walked out, and looked at the boy. He was shaking where he stood, his face flushed. His mouth was slightly open and he was taking pretty deep breaths. He was nervous, and being honest it probably wasn't the best idea to empty the room of the people who were treating his friend, but if Percy didn't say something now he may never have that chance again.

Love was stupid like that.

He looked back at me, looking for affirmation. I nodded and smiled, he seemed happy enough with that. The door was closed lightly, making a soft clicking sound once it did. I didn't know why that sound resonated with me, but it felt like a significant decision had been made. I could barely believe that I kissed him less than twenty-four hours ago. For the first few seconds I thought about staying there and waiting for them, but there was just too much to do. I needed to get in touch with my family, even if I had to go and ask every single person in this little building for a phone or a laptop that would work long enough to ring them. The nearest person next to me was slumped on the other end of the corridor, soaked and resting against a radiator in an effort to dry himself. I risked asking him, but his eyes were closed and he was sound asleep. I didn't want to disturb him. The next woman - clearly in a state of shock - simply waved me off and barged down the hall.

Rude.

I hadn't noticed how tired - and cold - I actually was until I was by myself, peeping into every room that I could. I felt an uncomfortable lump at the back of my throat, the first stage of a cold. I groaned and shuffled into yet another copy-and-paste door to another copy-and-paste room, trying to find the man who helped us get out of the storm. He seemed just as tired as I was, taking questions from a pair of kids.

"Hey." I started, right when those kids left him alone and gave him a few precious seconds to himself. "I know you're busy, and all."

"Not at all, my child. You were lucky I found ya!" he replied, leaning towards the kettle and flicking it on, "At least we have power, the good ol' Lord must be watching over us."

I was hoping the good ol' Lord had enough divine power left in him to grant me one more miracle. "I'm just looking for a spare phone, I need to call my folks."

"They must be worried." He replied, but shook his head. "Unfortunately I cannot help you child, but I'm sure somebody would be able to assist you." He had particular difficulty with the word assist, spitting the word out. I was caught in the middle of that spray. I pretended to ignore it.

"Well, thanks anyway."

I aggresively wiped my face with my sleeve as soon as I turned a corner and was out of his sight, trailling down another dark corridor until I arrived at the auditorium once again. It had only gotten more packed, the folks here dragged as many people as they could from outside. You could hear the wind and the rain as it struck the windows. It was the kind of noise that was going to haunt my dreams for months to come, but I tried to put it into the back of my head and focused on the job at hand.

Percy...

I thought about the kiss we had, out there in the open. That was the only kiss I was going to get with him. I felt stupid for thinking about soppy things like that in the middle of this quite literally life-threatening event, but I felt a little bit of... regret? I dated a guy for three whole years, and yet I felt I knew more about Percy in those eight or nine short days than I've ever known about Henry. I could have made a few better decisions when I landed in New York, and Percy could have been one of them. I could have told him I liked him, that I wanted to date him even after I flew back to London... but then I would had been a hypocrite about Henry, wouldn't I?

I would have never have been his first choice, even Percy knew that. It was too damn obvious to spot it once I realized. He was crazy about that boy. I was just going to have to let that happen.

I shook my head, bringing myself right into the there and then, approaching the nearest person who just so happened to stand in front of me. This person was at least awake, cross-legged on the ground and seemingly oblivious as he listened to some music on his phone.

I crouched down so I was eye-level with him, catching his attention. I recognized his face from somewhere, but I just couldn't place him. Probably just a guy I passed in school. He seemed to recognize me, though.

"Oi! What's the story, love?" A sarcastic english accent from a guy who must have realized that I still had one good hand to punch him with. I forced myself to calm down and took a big gulp of air before I spoke.

"Hello. Look, I really need to use a phone, can you spare one for a few minutes?"

He surrendered it to me without a hitch, plugging out his headphones as he tossed it to me without a care in the world. I caught it and nodded, dialling my Dad's number perfectly, pressing it to my ear as the guy watched. He must have known there weren't a lot of places for me to run if I considered stealing his little piece of hardware. The number rang out, but I dialled the number again and kept trying, regardless.

Then it stopped ringing altogether.

It died. I had to resist the urge to throw it on the ground and stomp all over it. The guy took it off of me when he noticed how I gritted my teeth. Maybe now he regretted mocking my bloody accent.

"Thanks, love."

It went on and on like this; when I realized that not a single human being in the damn building had a working phone, I then resorted to asking for some sort of charging cable that would at least allow me to power up my own block while we still had power in the building. I left mine somwhere on the couch in Percy's home, the one thing I decided to forget!

Suddenly I saw him, from the corner of my eye. He was dragged in from the front door, sending an avalanche of leaves and rain behind him. I recognised him from just how tall he was, not to mention my handiwork on his nose.

Adam.

People were trying to restrain him, he wanted to go back out there, which was nothing but a fool's errand. I ran towards him to figure out what was going on, hearing what he was actually saying when he got pretty close.

"You can't just leave her out there, you asshole! She's my fucking mother!"

"There's nothing we can do!" One of the volunteers cried out, but Adam quite frankly didn't have the time for it. He grabbed him by the face and pushed him away, but two more volunteers took his place. They warned him and begged him to calm down but he thrashed about anyway, trying to grab the front door. I approached the first volunteer in my way as I tried to explain the situation.

"Let him go, I got this!"

"Not you..." Adam growled with as much seething hatred as he could. "Anybody but that little bimbo bitch, anybody but you!"

"Let him go." I repeated, and I wasn't sure if my words had an actual effect or if they were just sick and tired of being manhandled by him, but they listened to me. As soon as they let go he fell to his knees, slamming the floor with his fists.

"It's not fair... it's not fair!"

I shooed them away - pretty sure that they had other people to shelter and look after - and leaned next to him. His eyes were red, spilling with tears. Any other day, I would have been happy to see him cry - the asshole didn't really think twice when it came to either Percy or Malcolm, had he? - but this wasn't about him.

"Where's your mother?"

He opened his mouth, but couldn't make a sound. He just kept crying, completely spent. I stayed alongside him until he let all of that emotion out and could actually muster a sentence, and when he did...

"They left her there..."

"You're gonna have to be more specific. Where?"

"What's it to you? Haven't you done enough?"

"Maybe once this storm dies down I can help with - "

"She's dead!"

His statement sucked the air out of me, stopping my follow-up retort. He continued crying until he was red in the face, his fists red and raw after punching the ground. It was strange, seeing a man who enjoyed manipulating and torturing people, reduced to something like this.

"Your Dad?"

"He's missing... somewhere. Why do you care?"

"Because I'm considered missing by my parents, and I actually give a crap about someone going through this."

"You ain' gotta bother with me. I know damn well you hate my guts."

"Trust me, I do." I answered simply, facts were facts, "But this isn't about me and it isn't about you. How do you know she died?"

"'Cos I was in the car... when it happened..." It was obviously a risky question, and Adam just wasn't ready to talk about it. I patted him on the shoulder as he continued to cry, because that was the only thing I thought would be considered helpful at the time. The back of my throat was really starting to annoy me now, making swallowing a chore. I couldn't just sit around and look after him, either.

"Malcolm and Percy are here," I began, sinking down so he could look me in the eyes, " I want you to avoid them like the plague, and if you don't then I might just throw another punch your way. You've put them in a bad situation."

"We're all in a bad situation, or did that go over your empty head?" He snapped back. It really didn't matter, I said what I had to say. His nose could do with more rearranging. 

"I hope you find your Dad." I told him, and didn't wait around to hear what else he had to say.

I was walking through another - completely empty - corridor when the lights above my head blew completely, shrouding us in darkness. I heard as people panicked all over the building, which probably meant that the power died in the rest of the place, too.

So much for the 'Good ol' Lord'.

I shook it off and kept moving, retracing my steps so I could walk back to the boys, considering I wasn't going to be able to check in with my family anytime soon. By the time I actually found them again, I heard arguing from inside, growing louder with every step that I took. I recognised Percy alright, but several voices - a man and woman in particular - seemed to lose their temper. I rushed in, trying to see just what on earth was going on.

On one side, I heard Percy and Malcolm at the end of the room. The couple by the door screamed at them, despite the best attempts of who I assumed were the same doctors and nurses to calm them down. A pair of them had torches, which meant beams of light contstantly streaked across the ceiling and walls, the bare minimum needed to see anything at all. The couple were angry, seething with rage. They kept repeating how they were in God's House. I put two-and-two together: they were Malcolm's parents.

"He's coming with us!" The person I presumed was Malcolm's father wasted no time in stating his intent, but I decided to introduce myself and stood between him and them.

"He's not going anywhere." I stated as sweetly as I could.

"Malcolm is our child, and you will do well - " His mother's voice was shrill and yet gravelly at the same time, like the woman had been a chain-smoker for the last decade or so. I didn't have time to listen to her crap.

"If I'm not mistaken, you kicked your child out of the house and into this damn hurricane, right? Sure wouldn't look so good if we were to go to any of the news crews that will land in New York and turn this into a sensationalist story, would it?"

She managed to shut her mouth and actually think about what she had to say for a solid two or three seconds. Malcolm's father, on the other hand, didnt think at all. He lunged for his son, and Percy and I stood in his way. He tried to grab him anyway, but I prized his arm and shoved it away. He was so close to me that I could smell his breath, which wasn't entirely pleasant.

"Give back my son!" He yelled, but he was stopped in his tracks by Benjamin, who had obviously heard enough of the commotion and came running in. He seperated his father from the rest of us, shouting at him as he told him to calm down. His mother tried to soothe her way to her son, promising that everything would be OK, but I made sure to block her path and force her back.

Those soothes turned to insults pretty quick, she would have fit right in over in London.

Satisfied that The Salvation volunteers had that situation relatively under control, I leaned towards Malcolm, who was obviously rattled by the entire thing. Percy watched over him, holding his hand.

"I hate them..." He stuttered. "I hate them so much...who do they think they are?"

"You don't have to worry about them." I said, in what was rather a pretty poor attempt of smoothing things up and making him feel better.

"Of course I have to worry about them, they dictated my fucking life for the longest time! They want to kick me out of the house and still expect me to come back to them like I'm a dog!"

"We'll deal with them once this cyclone over our heads has run its course." I replied quickly, knowing full well that I might not be around long enough to follow through with that promise. We could still hear them as they shouted in the distance, but I snapped my fingers until I caught his attention, making sure he looked me dead in the eyes before I spoke.

"You're bigger than them."

"I - "

"You, are bigger, than them. We can keep doing this for as long as we need to, Malcolm. I ain't leaving here until you get the message."

I was pretty sure he wanted to say something, but understood that we would keep going in cirles if he disagreed with me again. Eventually - reluctantly - he nodded. I slapped him on the shoulder and hoisted him up to his feet.

"The doctors did all their checks?"

"Uh-huh..."

"Are you good?"

"For now, but - "

"Good, then we're moving away from those psychopaths."

He seemed well enough to walk under his own power - even when the right side of his face was bruised the way it was - so I led him in the opposite direction from his parents. They still echoed in the background. I stopped for a split-second to grab Percy for a moment, just long enough for Malcolm not to notice.

"Adam's here." I informed him. He nodded slowly. He understood.

Without much of a warning, this sudden noise towered directly over us. A tree must had snapped and fell, because it tore through one of the windows, covering the floor with glass. Unfortunately, that wasn't even the worst thing about all of this; once I peered through the gap itself I noticed a small body of water as it flowed down the street, completely covering the tarmac.

There was flooding, now? How far inland were we?

It seemed that the volunteers knew what was going on. People were busy being escorted to where we were, families cradling kids. Adam stood taller than everybody else, impossible to ignore. Malcolm glared at him, I could feel the absolute anger coursing through his body. I made sure to stand between the both of them so nothing could escalate. We couldn't afford a bloodbath in the middle of all of this. Water was beginning to seep through the door at a frankly alarming rate. One thing was for sure: we weren't going to be able to stay here any more.

"The Queen Victoria!" I heard a volunteer cry out, repeating themselves as they moved further down our corridor. I hadn't the foggiest idea what she meant.

"Please tell me that actually means something to you guys!" I pleaded. Percy shivered slightly, leading the way.

It's the building across the street, we probably need to get a bit higher off the ground."

"Oh."

We decided to stick with Benjamin once we saw him, accompanied by two other volunteers and at least a dozen other panicked residents. he unfurled some rope, yelling orders to stand in a line behind him. We found ourselves at the back of that line, but saw what he was planning; he tied a simple knot around one such person, before extending it to the person behind them, which continued until eventually I caught it in my fingers. It was so bad out there that we literally needed to be tied down.

I gulped.

All three of us were set, and at least four other people behind us were roped up as well... including Adam. He stood at the very back of the line, glaring at me. I didn't even try to ignore it, catching his gaze as I shook my head. I was distracted by the trickle of water underneath my feet, this place was flooding quickly. We needed to move and we needed to get going now.

"You will listen to everything I say!" Our volunteer called out, resting his hand on the doorknob. That wind howled through the gap in that broken window, screaming louder than anything else. I tested the knot on my own rope, swearing lightly to myself once I realized it was a bit loose. The last thing any of us needed was for me to unfurl and to be swept away. Honestly, I wasn't sure I was able for another trip outdoors when the last time didn't go as swimmingly as I'd hoped.

It's just across the street.

"Ready?" Benjamin cried out, waiting for a few other volunteers as they led their own teams, and opened the door.

Immediately, a solid wave of water rushed in, just below my knees. I gritted my teeth and fought through the discomfort, waiting for our volunteer to head outside before we moved. The rain somehow managed to get even worse than when we were outside just hours ago, pelting my face as soon as I even looked outside. This was probably the strongest that Deandra had been so far, because solid objects like bins and branches were easily swept aside. Traffic lights and public lighting poles had collapsed, with a single Toyota presented at an obligue angle. I couldn't even see the building we were apparently aiming for, but I trusted Benjamin and his God-given sense of direction and pressed forward. The woman in front of me was frightened, hesitating when the rest of them pushed forward. Unfortunately this stopped everybody behind her, including us. The wind blew her off-balance, and it was up to me to grab her in time and hoist her back upright.

"Move along!" I called out, and she seemed to pick up the pace after that.

My legs were freezing, I turned to the two boys, especially towards Malcolm. He seemed to hang in there, but this was the third time he was outside in this thing. I tried asking if he was alright, but my voice was lost to the wind. It took all of my concentration to work against the surprisingly-strong current and to move forward one step at a time. Leafs slapped me in the face, stinging my eye. I tossed it aside and carried on.

Then I saw them, tied up just like we were to their own volunteer, moving right alongside us: Malcom's goddamn parents.

They walked diagonally towards their son, jeopardizing everybody in their line. Their hands were reaching out, ready to grab him. What did they expect, to unwrap him in the middle of all of this and whisk him away?

"Malcolm!" It was no use, he still couldn't hear me. I stopped walking forward and closed the gap, no longer caring if I interrupted everybody else. I could feel the tug on the rope as I walked in the opposite direction. Percy hadn't noticed them until he saw me waving my arms about in some sort of futile attempt to look aggressive, only then turning around to see the danger. They grabbed onto Malcolm's arm, trying their best to pry him away. He fought them off as best he could, but it was Percy who grabbed him and moved him away, just out of their reach.

The all of a sudden, just like that, they stopped.

They seemed to fix their eyes on something else in the distance, horrified. I followed their gaze and noticed the same thing; by now the flooding had crept up to around our knees, and that Toyota had finally given up the ghost. It began to move, slowly at first but then it approached us far quicker than it had any right to. Our little fight meant that we were directly in its path. Malcolm's parents tried to wade away as quickly as they would, and we did the same. We were moving far too slowly to avoid that car, though.

Adam tore through, grabbing Malcolm and Percy as he pushed me forward. My first thought was to bloody his nose again, until actual rational thought came in and I realized that he was actually saving our asses. The sedan missed us by mere inches, sailing harmlessly past both sets of volunteers and their respective human congo. I knew I was going to get in a hell of a lot of trouble once we landed in Queen Victoria, but I was in enough trouble as it was.

Adam shoved us the rest of the way there - which I thought was a bit unnecessary - but I accepted the help nonetheless. Queen Victoria - an apartment block with some much-needed elevation - stood in front of us. The ground floor was going to be flooded eventually, but we would be high enough to avoid it. I wondered if there were people still inside who ignored the evacuation orders, or those who simply didn't have the time to leave.

They were about to get some impromptu neighbors very quickly.

One of the volunteers opened the door with a key - they must have lived there - and opened it gently. It really didn't matter, because the current forced it open for us. We were escorted inside one at a time, single file.

"We're not friends, y'know." I mentioned casually to Adam, just as we walked inside. He didn't respond to me.

Right as rain, Benjamin glared at me with daggers for eyes - understandable considering I slowed them down and basically played with their lives - but I accepted it and followed him as he directed us into a certain apartment along with the others. It was spacious enough, its owner long gone. We were escorted into the living room, leaving the four of us crouched around the couch while the rest peered into the kitchen and bedroom to set up their own camps. It felt a bit invasive barging into someone's room like that, but then again we barged into their entire home so it hardly mattered at that point. I ran to grab some towels, throwing one to each of them...including Adam. Malcolm stared at him, seething.

"We're letting him hang around with us?" He asked, a completely valid question.

"You should be thanking my ass." He replied, but he couldn't even say that without his voice breaking, his eyes welling up.

"Oh yeah sure, let me just say thank you for outing me for the entire neighborhood to hear, including my ultra-conservative parents, who are just outside looking for me!"

"Who in God's name decides to go about and mess with someone like that?" I chimed in.

Adam looked at his hands, coiling them into fists and holding back tears. I understood, especially considering what happened to him.

"I need you to go somewhere else." I told him. It seemed like the fairest decision to make. He looked at me with pleading eyes like it would make some sort of a difference, like he didn't understand.

"Oh, and thanks."

He seemed a bit surprised when I said that, but Adam nodded, more to himself than anybody else. Eventually he disappeared, shuffling to another apartment. I slouched on the couch, exhausted and cold and soaked.

From there, we took a look at the storm outside. All we could see was the rain and the destruction beneath us. It took about an hour or so, but the community center we were in began to flood heavily as the water levels rose. It turned dark not long after that, until all we heard was the bite of the wind. We dried Malcolm off and found a thin stretch of blanket to cover him with while he fell asleep, snoring lightly on the couch. Percy sat next to me after that, nibbling on a biscuit he found in a cupboard.

"So did you do it?"

He finished chewing, crumbs coated around his lips.

"Yeah, I think I did."

"Atta boy." I responded, holding my open palm for a high-five. He pressed it with his own lightly, smiling. He offered me some more food, which I accepted graciously. I felt the warm carpet under my hands, a god damn luxury compared to a few hours ago, though there was still no power in the place.

"Hannah?"

"Hm?"

"If you're going back to London, what about the guy you were seeing? What's going to happen there?"

I hadn't thought about it like that. I closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like if I waltzed into Heathrow Airport with Henry on the other side. We could very easily reconcile and act like nothing had ever happened. We could fall back into the regular, perfect pattern we were in and all would be right in the world. Unfortunately, the world doesn't work just like that.

"I think I'll be fine by myself. I'm going to wait until university before I worry about you boys."

I closed my eyes, exhausted. My shoes were taken off and placed beside me, and my own blanket was drapped around me as I laid down. Every muscle in my body ached, and my throat was giving me more trouble. I had a gauranteed cough, which could stretch into something worse if I wasn't careful. The last thing I thought about was Dad and Jess, hopefully evacuated or at least somewhere safe...

-Percy-

Hannah was spent.

She fell asleep next to me, a thin blanket covering her. I shivered in my spot, settling on doing the same thing. Malcolm turned in his sleep while I stood up and grabbed one of the last remaining blankets in that apartment. I paused to look outside the window; only the wind reminded us of what was out there, tearing through New York and leaving a trail of destruction in its wake. The roads were rivers and we were stranded. Other people shared the room, brushed up on the other side, sound asleep. I was fighting the urge to close my own eyes, because there was just too much going through my own mind right now. Malcolm's parents floated around the building, still angry and still willing to risk their lives - as well as everybody around them - to get their hands on him.

Then I thought about my own parents.

The call I made to Dad - when he wasn't even aware that his son was caught in the middle of this course-correcting disaster - was what stung the most, especially when my nearest relatives lived in Texas and I had no possible way of getting to them. They flew out on the promise that he wouldn't have to deal with Deandra. I was so calm and collected about it back then, so why did it bother me now?

Then again, it wasn't the first time they decided to head off to their next business meeting overseas for the sake of a deal, leaving me in the process.

I didn't have many epihany moments in my life, the kind that just made things click, but that was one of them. In a second it hit me; the anxiety, the panic attacks, the ordeal with Aisling and Jeremy, my parents were never around to talk to. I relyed on my two friends for the longest time. I breathed a sigh of... relief? The feeling wasn't pleasant, but it felt like a tiny weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Maybe I needed to talk to them, when all was said and done.

Malcolm stirred, mentioning words and jumbles which didn't make any sort of sense, before he dozed off again. I smiled. He was another weight off of my shoulders, I couldn't deny it. My eyes were eventually too heavy to stay awake any longer, and I drifted away, surprisingly much happier than I had been in a long time, considering the circumstances...

*

"Wake up, sunshine! We have to move."

Hannah was the one who rocked me awake, but I had dozed in and out of sleep for an hour or so beforehand. I was faintly aware of footsteps and voices, but nothing that needed me to get up and walk about. My head hurt and my lips were dry. I needed a drink.

"Look outside."

I didn't catch on to what she meant, until I looked outside and realized what she was talking about.

The flooding had swallowed an entire storey, vehicles and poles and tree branches flowing in its wake. There was debris everywhere; buildings missing windows and rooves missing tiles. We all gazed outside the window, fighting for room. A woman broke down crying alongside me, devastated that she lost all the electronics in her house. It didn't take me long to realize that my home was flooded, and with those fallen cables...

"What do we do now?" Hannah's question was aimed at me, but it felt like it was more to herself. It was an image in a movie, superimposed into real life. We watched it for a few more minutes, simply because there was nothing else we could do. I turned my attention towards her; her eyes were almost completely bloodshot, and I noticed her natural hair color through her dye.

"Once all of this is done, we'll find your parents." I promised her. I wasn't sure how much of a promise it was, but it was a start. She feigned a smile and continued watching the disaster outside.

"You're a good one, that's for sure."

Why did that compliment sound so sad? I was about to ask her about it when Malcolm stirred, feeling groggy. The bruising around his face had improved somewhat, though it was beginning to turn a sickly green color.

"Tell me I look okay."

"You look okay." Hannah replied, a hint of sarcasm creeping into her voice. Malcolm smirked at that, touching the side of his face as he winced. As soon as he looked outside, that smirk vanished.

"Wow..."

"The city's seen better days." Hannah was deadpan again, closing her eyes as she sighed. "Then again, we've seen better days ourselves."

"You said we needed to move."

"Yup. One of those volunteers came around. Apparently we're going to need to be shipped out of here."

It was going to be... unusual, sailing through the avenues I walked through on a daily basis. The current looked horrifying, and the debris would probably make it difficult to navigate through if I were to hazard a guess.

"When are they coming?"

"In a few hours, I think?"

"We have enough food?"

"Enough for breakfast, if biscuits count as breakfast."

"They do now." I replied, watching as Malcolm draped a jumper over his head, sifling a yawn. Unfortunately for him, we were going to need to do one thing before we managed to leave.

We needed to talk to his parents.

I felt my heart in my throat, my fingers tingling. Those symptons of a panic attack had stayed with me for as long as I remembered, yet in the middle of all of this they were...tolerable. I looked at Malcolm and turned back to Hannah, in the middle of a hurricane which turned the city into a natural disaster zone, and realized that I could be okay. I was ready.

"Hannah, we need to head off for a bit. Get something done."

Malcolm obviously didn't have a clue what I was talking about, but she looked like she understood.

"Do what you have to do. I'll be here."

I waited until Malcolm was ready and escorted him to the apartment hallway, trying to find the most secluded spot possible. My cheeks were burning and I was anxious, but there was no stopping this now.

"Is this where you tell me what you're planning to do?"

"Malc... we need to talk to them."

He actually recoiled from the thought, taking a step back and glared at me like I had just insulted him (Maybe I had).

"You know I can't do that."

"We need to, I don't exactly want to do it either, so - "

"So? Great, let's just not do it."

"Malcolm. Either we go find them and tell them that they will have to accept this, or this will haunt you for the rest of your life."

"You remember all the times we talked about this, all the times we sat in your living room and went through every possible outcome. None of them included talking to my family about this!"

"This wasn't one of the outcomes, either. Yet here we are." It pained me to death to say that, but he needed to hear it. Malcolm let out a deep breath, his eyes darting from place to place, looking for another solution. He didn't find one.

"You.. promise you'll stay there. No matter what they say?"

"I promise." It was the easiest promise that I ever had to make. He smiled at me, satisfied.

"I thought you liked her, Percy."

"I do," I admitted, thinking of everything that had happened since we first met her, "but at the end of the day, I guess I liked you for a bit longer."

He leaned in to kiss me than, all too fleeting and quick.

"I'll look less horrifying soon, I promise!"

"You look alright to me!" I called out, punching him lightly on the shoulder as he ducked away. Unfortunately that smile disappeared pretty quickly, once he reminded himself of what we were about to do.

"You ready?" My question wasn't going to make things any easier. Nothing ever could.

"I'm ready."

We walked outside our own apartment quarters, into the communal hallway we all shared. We were perched on the top storey while the ground floor was completely flooded despite the best attempts of our Salvation saviors. We started with the rest of the connected apartments, brushing past complete strangers. They were nowhere to be found, we would have heard them long before making out any of their faces. Malcolm reached for my hand, squeezing it, terrified. We tried a storey down, getting quite a few glances from people we've never met. The sound of trickling water make my skin crawl, an unfamiliar sound that had no place so far inland. Eventually we heard famiiar voices, saying familiar things. We actually noticed Benjamin as we walked towards us, recognizing us immediately.

"Dom Nool..." I could hear him mutter as he passed us, nothing I could understand. They were stuck in that apartment, alright. You couldn't mistake their voices. I remembered when we were kids, when the only way to meet him was if his parents walked around with Malcolm at all times. I also remembered a nativity play a few years ago, and even then they told him where he could and couldn't go to. He came to my house under the pretense of going to church and cried his eyes out in front of me on more than one occasion.

They sent their son out in front of a Category-Five hurricane, and threatened the lives of several people to try and grab a hold of him. This needed to be stopped.

Greggory and Samantha managed to grab a room for themselves, sealed off from everybody else. It seemed that nobody else wanted to deal with them, either. Greggory - Gregg for short, he insisted on it - mumbled about while he searched for something, complaining about the state of the room. Malcolm's Mom didn't fare any better, poised in front of a mirror, admiring herself. I couldn't tell what they were saying but in the end it didn't matter. I knocked on their door lightly - my chest tight and my breathing haphazard - waiting for them to turn around. Gregg was the first, the confusion in his eyes turning into outright disgust...until he picked up Malcolm beside me.

"Oh, good. You brought him." He started, catching Samantha's attention as well. "Just leave him here. Goodbye."

"I'm not going anywhere."

It was an extremely brave statement to make, and I was arguably more afraid of the man than I was of the hurricane outside, but I thought of Malcolm the entire time; every single god damn moment we spent time together. My hands were shaking and I felt beads of sweat from my forehead but I stood my ground.

"I'm going to use my inside voice." He continued, edging a little closer. "Malcolm is my son, and as his father I am very much entitled to have him by our side."

"You kicked him out of the house." I retorted, but he could hear the crack in my voice as my imaginary confidence started to crack.

"That is a family matter, and it's none of your business."

"You nearly killed everyone trying to grab him in the middle of that!" I shouted, pointing outside the window to the weather outside. Gregg didn't like the way I raised my voice, matching it with his own.

"Malcolm will stay here and I will call the authorities if you persist with this nonsense! Leave!"

"Greggory..." It was Samantha who was taken aback by that, trying to calm him down, but it was Malcolm who replied, his fists shaking.

"I'm going to tell everyone. I'm going to tell everyone I can about what you did to me. I'm going to get emancipated from you bastards, and I'm never going to speak to you again..."

"That's just nonsense and you know it. After all of this is done we are going to sit down and talk about your situation as a family."

"We love you!" His Mom added, once again trying that motherly voice that thinking that it would suddenly make everything better. "You're straying from God's path but it's OK! We can fix all of this!"

"Stop it!"

Malcolm flew into a temper, suddenly angry. Then I realized that this wasn't just a split-second decision; this was something that had been pent up for all of his life, something that caused his entire face to turn red, and when his father tried to grab onto his arm he caught his hand, staring directly into his eyes.

"I, am not, your son!"

He pushed Gregg to the floor, stunning him. I didn't even have time to appreciate that, because he began to drag me away from the room and into the crowd of survivors again, right up to our own makeshift apartment. It was only when he arrived that he began to tear up, sinking to his knees. Hannah was immediately alongside him, rubbing his shoulders and asking what happened.

"Malcolm happened." I answered for him, and even though he cried his heart out, he couldn't resist smiling. It was something that he wanted to do for a long time.

*

Another day came and went with no signs of those boats that Hannah mentioned. We went through the biscuits as sparingly as we could, but I was still left with a grumbling in my stomach. The only light came from flashlights, a single torch stood upright on the living room table. Deandra still raged outside, although it sounded like things had calmed down. Of course, it could had been just my mind playing tricks on me, but I needed a little bit of optimism right about now. We didn't recieve any other word from The Salvation Army, we were just thankful we still had running water of all things. I was told that even that came from a storage container inside the complex, and it wasn't going to last forever. I was wrapped in the same blanket as malcolm. Hannah slept on the couch for a change, leaving us lying on the floor by her side. I didn't mind much, we were given a wide bearth from everybody else. My eyes were closed, daydreaming. I wasn't in the mood for sleep, just processing everything that happened over the last two weeks.

"Percy?"

It turned out Malcolm wasn't sleeping either.

"Hm?"

"What if this all goes south?"

"It depends on what your definition of south is." I whispered, knowing that he was thinking things over. He didn't answer me immediately, so we just laid there and stared at the ceiling. It was nice. It was comfortable. it sure beat being knee-deep in water.

"What if things don't work out for college? I'm going to have to deal with my parents."

"We're telling everybody about what happened." I reminded him, "We're going to make sure that we fetch every single news crew that comes in here, and we're going to turn this into some sort of international scandal that will get them locked up for neglect. Mark my words."

"I'm not sure I could handle that kind of fame." He joked, his face inches away from mine. It was strange - I was still waiting for the exact moment I would suddenly change my mind, realizing that I made a horrible mistake - but that feeling never came. Being anxious for so long, I had mentally prepared myself. Maybe Hannah was right.

"You know we're going to be OK. We'll get our acceptance letters and we'll deal with everything else inbetween."

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"I appreciate that."

*

There were two things I noticed when I woke up; the first was that I had fallen asleep - I couldn't remember shutting my eyes and drifting away - and the second was the light kick to the ribs, enough to startle me. Hannah has up and fully dressed, reaching for my hand.

"Grab your boyfriend, rescue's here."

That was all I needed to hear. I turned to Malcolm - still snoring by his side - and rocked him until he woke up. He didn't even have time to ask what was going on, because I grabbed and pulled him along with me. We threw our clothes on as Benjamin barged in, waving his arm and ordering us to follow him. I didn't have time to put my shoes on.

"Take a look outside, see if you can spot anything different." Hannah suggested. As we moved, I peered through any window that I could while we descended the staircase. There was no wind noise - there was no wind left to speak of - and the skies were almost completely clear. Deandra had passed, but when I looked at the buildings I saw that it left even more damage than I previously thought. Entire rooves were sliced from houses, windows were smashed and debris was everywhere. The rest of the buildings were completely empty, we were one of the last batches to be sent out. I wondered how I managed to sleep through the noise. My feet turned damp as we reached the ground floor, sending a shiver through my spine. We needed to wade through it one more time before we could be rescued.

Great.

Benjamin was waiting for us, standing beside a simple looking float rescue boat. It was too small to carry all of us, but the three of us were the first to be picked, along with three others from the other side of the apartment. It was still blustery and ice-cold, but it was an absolutely pleasant experience compared to the past few days.

"Benjamin, thank you." I called out. He simply nodded and smiled before turning his attention to another rescue boat as it pulled in. We took off so quickly that I almost fell overboard, save for Hannah's quick reflexes. It was a strange sensation, moving through 35th Avenue with only the high-rise buildings as waypoints. Every single tree and pole had been flattened, they floated aimlessly beside us as the boat manuevered as well as it could. The wind really was bracing now, making my teeth chatter. I wondered what happened to Malcolm's parents. Clearly they had been taken on an earlier boat, but I expected them to stage one last fight to grab their son. They weren't going to disappear, but then neither were we.

"Where are we heading?"

"Elmhurst Hospital Center." Hannah replied, just as cold as I was. "Something about 79 Broadway?"

I knew the hospital, but had never been inside it. It was just a bit further inland, and large enough to look after hundreds of us. Malcolm needed to be looked at, as well. We continued in silence, meandering through streets and avenues, powering past flooded cars and waterlogged trucks. A building - a simple ground floor bungalow, nothing special - had been entirely reduced to rubble. I sincerely hoped that there was nobody underneath there. There was going to be recovery efforts for sure, and people were going to need to be rescued from the rubble. Watching these disasters on TV taught me as much.

It was a solid hour before we arrived, joining a few other vessels in landing a few hundred meters on the water's edge, escorted by its driver the rest of the way on foot. I hadn't found my sea legs, and I felt quesy, yet I fought it off. We arrived at the front door, forced to enter one at a time once we were accounted for and our names ticked off. The reception area was huge, but even that was filled to the brim with people. We were forced to fight for some elbow room, forcing me to check my breathing. I needed more meds soon, before my anxiety got out of hand. I realized I went far too long without them. Nurses pointed us in a certain direction, cramming us into an elevator. I went so long without seeing a lightbulb that it was genuinely a miracle to feel the humming under my feet as we moved upwards. Once we stopped the doors opened, feeding us into one of an endless stream of corridors. We followed a nurse who was seemingly assigned to us, delivering us into one of its general outpatient rooms.

"Dad!"

Hannah stopped in her tracks, her hands to her face as she fought off tears. She ran towards him and hugged him tight, and he closed his eyes and did the same. I recognized him from when they left our school together, though his fiance was nowhere to be seen. Malcolm and I exchanged looks, relieved that at least she was reunited with him.

Without warning, Hannah froze. Her father's eyes were red, his own tears streaming down his cheeks. I couldn't hear what they were saying in the middle of all the noise, but it sounded like he had just told her some pretty devastating news. I walked over to her, making sure she was okay.

She wasn't.

Her eyes were snapped shut, trying to stop herself from crying. She fell to the ground, sinking to her knees. I was there beside her in an instant.

"She's gone..." She cried, grabbing onto me and hiding her face in my chest. I looked at her father, and he didn't know what to do with himself. It really didn't matter, I understood.

"What happened to her..."

Hannah didn't answer me. She just hugged me tighter. Everyone else disappeared around us, even though we were in the middle of a crowded room. Nobody else registered, and in that moment in time that even included Malcolm. I felt hollow. I had no words.

"I'm so sorry..."

-Hannah-
-A few weeks later -

Hurricane Deandra was one of the worst hurricanes of the past decade.

More than two thousand people died over the past few weeks, and it was a number that hit home a bit too hard for me, because Jess counted as one of them. The last time I saw her was when I stormed out of her house. I regretted that ever since. We weren't able to find her since all of this had happened, but we held an eulogy for her. It wasn't enough, obviously. I looked down at the ground the entire time, my eyes stung and I held onto Dad's hand for dear life. It was the first time I did that since I was a little kid, and even though I hated him for what he did to me and my Mom... he was still my Dad. He fared even worse than I did, he probably relied on me just as much as I relied on him. The only picture he had left of her was taken from his wallet, rested gently in a book of rememberance.

It was the only proof that somebody thought of her, that somebody knew that she was gone.

Flooding lingered through most of New York for weeks, only eventually drained over the past few days. I had never seen so much debris in a certain place in my life, but the overturned and abandoned cars were hollow reminders of what had happened. We got off relatively easily.

Relatively.

Dad and I stayed in that hospital room for days on end while Percy and Malcolm found their room a few storeys up. Our days usually consisted of one of us travelling to the other and generally just looking outside the window at the recovery effort. Every now and again a helicopter or airplane would fly in, deafening me as they flew past. At least once a day we would head down to reception to fetch our allocated food and drink for the day. Relief had been pouring in from all over the country, and apparently the President had paid a visit. I didn't care all that much; he was just a man who lived in a big house, pretending he was one of us when he was never really affected. My phone had stayed dead all that time. Nobody had a cable that supported my particular device. Dad told me that my Mom would be worried sick, and to prepare to talk to her once we managed to make contact.

I spent that final morning in the hospital the same way I usually spent my mornings there - staring outside the corridor window, so I got a good view of the city at large. There was a lot more air traffic now, and some rebuilding had already begun. The lucky few who managed to escape came back to judge the extent of the damage. I was told that Jack was going to pay a visit to the two boys this afternoon, but I would already be gone. I didn't leave the best impression on him, I wanted to tell Percy to apologize for me on account of abandoning them at the cinema like that. That movie date was less than a month ago, miles away from what had happened since.

Dad sat at his hopsital bed, packing what little things he still had left. He hadn't recovered yet, I hadn't gotten much out of him since we landed here. His bag was pretty light, stuffed with a clean set of clothes and toiletries, and pretty much nothing else. he fared better than I had, considering I had nothing at all. I made do with a basic toothbrush and other toiletries that came with the aid package.

"I'm going to visit Percy." I announced. Dad didn't really respond to me, simply nodding and returning his attention to his bag. We were due at the airport by six this evening, which meant I only had a few hours left.

"Okay, I'll be back by three."

I walked down the same brightly-lit coridor I always had, taking the same elevator like clockwork. It became a routine that I had slowly gotten accustomed to, and now once again I was going to be flung into another timezone. I guess I didn't have too much to complain about, especially with what was happening out there. I found Malcolm first. His bruising had almost completely healed, and he seemed a lot happier with himself. I smiled and walked to him, moving the partially-constructed privacy curtain out of the way.

"Morning!" He called out, sitting cross-legged on the bed while I joined him. Definitely a lot happier.

"Something happen that's put you in such a good mood?" I teased. He shrugged it off.

"Just the chance to leave this place. I'm staying at Jack's in Minnesota for a few months."

"Would be a chance of scenery from this old dump."

"Percy's tagging along, as well. It's going to be great!"

"I'm happy for you!"

"So what about you? Got your plane tickets?"

"Got them booked weeks ago, it's literally just showing up at the airport. Don't have a lot of luggage to carry so we should breeze through."

It was there that Malcolm's smile faltered a little. I knew what he was about to ask me, but it didn't make it any more difficult.

"How's your Dad?"

I knew how to answer it - Dad was an absolute mess and it was going to take a long time before he would even come close to being OK - but I answered as optimistically as I could.

"He'll get there."

He nodded and looked away when I answered, reading between the lines. Not that hard to do, really.

Percy came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped in his hands as he dried his hair. There wasn't much in the way of working showers so we made due with washing ourselves in the sink. I wasn't going to miss that particular part when I went home.

I was, however, going to miss him.

"You're early!" He beamed, his hair an absolute mess. It now completely covered his eyes and threatened to turn into cute little curls at the ends. It took all I had to stifle a laugh.

"You look...great."

"Shut up!"

We all sat down, nibbling on what little biscuits were left to us. A stray breeze came in through the open window, a slight smell of sewerage which made me crinkle my nose in disgust. Much of the city smelt like that. It was going to take a massive effort to turn Elmhurst back to the way it was. We talked about the usual things - Malcolm was asked about Sussex, and he didn't believe in its existence either - but it came to the point where I needed Percy to myself, just for a few hours.

"Mind if I borrow your boyfriend for a while?"

They still blushed when I mentioned the B-word. They should have just called it as it was, the idiots! It was impossible to hate them.

"You can, if you bring him back?"

"Where am I going to dump him, Malcolm?" I retorted, bumping him on the shoulder. "I'll try my best, and if I don't hear from you before I leave - "

"Oh, we're going to be calling you the second you land in London!" He replied. I guess that solved that!

Percy and I left the room, barreling downwards on an elevator toward the ground floor. I just needed to go outside for a walk around the block for a bit - before I found myself stuck in a seat for the next few hours - and Percy was more than willing to escort me. Dad was too preoccupied to get worked up about me sneaking out, but I couldn't say that I blamed him. We walked outside the front door, I was pretty happy with circling the building a few times before I needed to head back. We passed the remnants of a steakhouse, the banner of La Fusta was the only thing left untouched, the doors and windows removed.

"This entire thing has been a disaster." I admitted, slowing down to keep up with his pace. I really didn't need to see his expression to understand that he agreed with me. He didn't respond right away, and that was fine. I realized that I wasn't going to see him in person in quite some time... but I was definitely going to keep in touch. I wanted him to come to London to visit me, and once this place was brought back to shape I really wanted to visit, as well. We would all be in University in a year or two. I wanted to make sure that we all weren't lost in the middle of that.

"I'm really glad I met you." He eventually said.

"You were the only good thing out of all of this." I answered, which was honestly the damn truth, and he knew it. The Deli at the corner was - somehow - still open. I genuinely had the urge to go in and buy something to get the stale taste of hospital food out of my mouth, but I didn't trust it when the water and the air smelt the way it did. Nothing like garbarge to curb your appetite.

"Did I make the right choice?"

Percy's question surprised me a little bit. Right up until now he was happier than I had ever seen him, but traces of the old Percy began to come back. He still had those bags under his eyes and his hair still covered them. I inched forward, parting it so he could get a good luck at my face.

"How do you feel, right now?"

"... Happy."

"Then you made the right choice."

"But what if - "

"Don't overthink it. How do you feel, right now?"

"What if this disappears when you do?"

I grabbed his hands, cupping them with my own. He was shaking, still anxious. I caught him by surprise, but he looked at me, waiting.

"I'm not disappearing, and neither will that."

It seemed to be the right thing to say. He nodded, and his hands gradually stopped shaking. I made absolutely sure that they did before I let go... but I realized that it was going to be the last time I ever held his hand.

"I meant it when I said I'd visit Sussex, you know." He said, which just deflated the entire sullen mood. I burst out laughing despite myself, catching the attention of a few puzzled onlookers. He laughed awkwardly along with me, obviously caught off guard.

"Well you know what? I will gladly show you around! Bring as many people as you want!"

He seemed to return to his happy little self after that, so we kept walking. Some clouds actually peppered the sky again, but they looked dark and threatened to rain. I had enough rain to last me a lifetime. We spoke about where he wanted to go for college, but he wasn't a big fan of the loans we would need to take out. We weren't even sure what Malcolm was going to do, considering his family.

"He's planning on taking things forward." Percy added. I would have been disappointed with Malcolm if he wasn't. I told him I would keep an eye out for any updates, I was sure this was going to explode into that international scandal they wanted if he grabbed enough media attention. It would give me something to talk to with Trish and the rest of the gang. We passed the west wing of the hospital, boards covering up a number of its large windows. An ambulance - its tires slashed but otherwise in perfect condition - was dumped on the pavement. It just reminded me that not much of this place had survived unscathed. I watched everybody else as they moved along - plenty of families who flocked to a nearby canopy, fetching whatever rations they could. TV crews were on standby, furiously getting their props ready so they could broadcast. I wanted to stay well clear from all of that. Percy seemed inclined to agree.

"I'm going to need a new piece of equipment before I can call you." I reminded him, right when we turned the last corner. "Preferably one with a camera, so I can see your lovely face when I do."

"I can wait."

"I guess Malcolm can join in on the call, too."

"I think he's going to be there whether you like it or not!"

I ran to the stalls, grabbing a bread roll and taking a big chunk out of it as we climbed up the stairs. He seemed pretty content now, I knew I was right about how he felt towards him. We found Dad as he cascaded down the steps, right in our direction.

"Hannah! Where the bloody hell were you? We have a flight to catch!"

"We're two hours early." I reminded him. He didn't seem to take that to heart, he draped my bag over his shoulder and threw it at me. I had clumsy hand-eye coordination, so it slipped through my fingers and landed a few steps below. I shot him a glare.

"I just have to say goodbye, meet me downstairs." I told him. Dad didn't waste any time, continuing his trek. I would usually put it down to one of his many mannerisms, but after what had happened... I felt like somebody needed to sit him down and talk to him about all of this. I strongly suspected that somebody was going to be me. Percy understood.

"I don't know what it feels like, to lose somebody like that."

"I appreciate it." I replied. It was just a few seconds of silence after that, nothing but background noise. We just looked at each other the entire time, because this was it, wasn't it? Who knew how long it would be before I saw him again, if I ever saw him again.

"Take care, Sugar." I said, my usual goodbye for Trish. He seemed to catch on to the theme.

"You too, Darlin'."

*

I started to see why Dad was in such a hurry.

We managed to grab a taxi - one of the few moving vehicles in the entire city - but almost every single road had a blockage or obstruction at some point, while some of them were outright closed. Our driver was just as clueless as we were, so some of our roads led to dead ends. We needed to travel to John F. Keneddy International Airport, because LaGuardia had been significantly damaged and needed to be overhauled. I really didn't care, all we really needed was an air-worthy bucket with wings and we'd be good to go. Dad kept the small talk to a minimum with our driver, an Irishman who politely reminded us that there were no hurricanes in County Kerry. I hadn't been to Ireland, though I read that one of the Star Wars movies had been filmed around there. That much I chimed in, keeping the conversation going for a few seconds. Dad was, quite simply, deflated. I didn't want to say anything. I wanted to ask how he knew she had definitely died, but it was far too sensitive an issue right now. I only had enough nuggets of Irish culture to hand, so it was complete silence for a solid ten minutes before we parked alongside the airport. In the meantime it started to rain, making me more grateful for the canopy outside the entrance. Dad paid the fare and thanked him, hauling himself and his one bag through the doors while I followed close behind.

"Which terminal we headed?" I asked, but he just pointed in a vague direction and kept walking, refusing to speak.

"Look, I get it. You feel horrible. She was lovely. She really was."

Still nothing from him. I sighed and stuck by him, realizing that I was going to need to babysit him for a while. We moved towards our intended terminal while overhead screens told us of what flight to catch. We had less than an hour to board. It all felt rushed. We had no baggage so we just strolled through with as little fuss as possible.

"I have to let you know something." He finally muttered. So he had a pulse, it was a step in the right direction.

"Why do I have the feeling this is going to be bad news?"

"Henry is going to meet you at Heathrow."

I stopped in my tracks.

"What?"

"Hannah, I'm not in the mood for all of this, so can we just board our flight so we can leave this godforsaken nightmare?"

I wasn't even angry! I just didn't realize that Dad was in touch with him. I didn't say anything else and followed his lead, entirely sure that he would just lose his temper no matter what I said. We boarded the flight with minutes to spare, taking our (uncomfortable) seats. it seemed the most of us were visitors who just wanted to go back home. The New York accent seemed to vanish, I didn't realize how much I was going to miss that until it was gone.

"You all set?" I asked, hoping that he at least got everything he needed. He reclined in his chair, his head pressed squarely against the headrest. In seconds he was asleep, which probably answered my question.

"All set..."

I decided to join him, hoping this fight would end with nothing more than an afterthought.

*

It was the descent that woke me up.

The joy of not having a working phone meant that I couldn't check the time, but it was a seven-hour flight. Had I really slept through all of it? Dad was awake, and looked like he had been for a while now. I asked him if anything strange or exciting happened, but he refused to answer me. I had to squelch down my usual thought processes with that man. I thought of Percy, and what he would be up to this evening (realizing that I was now five hours ahead). I felt detached, like I had been taken away from my own timeline and pressed somewhere completely foreign and empty, which was ironic considering I had lived in the UK my entire life. Our wheels touched ground on the runway, and everybody found the need to clap like this was an exception rather than the rule. I just wanted to land myself into a bed, my neck was sore from the awkward sleeping angle.

"Come on, let's move." Dad casually mentioned, like it wasn't something completely obvious. I knew I couldn't exactly snap back at him, but he was really starting to wear on my patience.

Heathrow was flooded with people, both visitors and people who were flying home, as well as their families. We didn't have much of a family to look forward to - although Uncle Darvin and Aunt Jamie were coming from Glasgow in the next few days to look after Dad - but when we checked through the necessary terminals, I spotted a familiar face in the crowd, holding up a stupid goofy sign with my name on it.

Henry.

Despite it all, I shook my head and tried so hard not to smile as I approached him. He had slight stubble on his face and neck - sacriligious just a few months ago - and he looked tired, but he was still the same Henry I've known for the longest time.

"S'up."

"S'up, that's the first thing you decide to say?" I teased.

"Trying to keep it casual, you know how it is."

"Your face is trying to keep it casual too, I see."

He actually tried to hide the entire lower half of his face with his arms once I pointed that out, "Stop! I was trying to grow it out!"

"Well, it's definitely hair!" I agreed, and we just set each other off with giggles, until Dad passed us, ordering us to hurry up. He wanted to collapse onto a bed just as much as I had. We followed him, and I had to admit... it felt a little awkward being beside Henry again, even if everything was fine between the both of us. I still remembered leaving him in the rain, I wasn't supposed to be back here.

"I heard what happened to him." He whispered, just low enough to escape his earshot, but loud enough for me to hear." My folks are worried about him, decided to invite him in for some grub and a quick chat. Hope that's alright with you."

"Of course it's alright! Your parents practically babysit us." It was true, Dad benefited from my connection with the boy. His folks helped him with the divorce, when Mom decided that she no longer wanted anything to do with us. I noticed the time on a random screen above our heads - which read 1:17am. I groaned, the jet lag was going to linger for a while. Henry asked me about what it was like over in the States, and I answered as honestly as I could. He watched the reports of Deandra, trying to call me every single day. I explained the no-power situation. We danced around Jessica, because there was no point in reminding ourselves of it. Heathrow was packed, but that was considered quiet at this time of the evening. We stopped by a food stall, ordering fast-food grub while I looked for seats. It was weird how... familiar everything was, like I had to remind myself that this was home. I went through this place at least three different times in my life, and almost nothing had changed.

Except for me. I changed.

I had no idea how delicious a greasy double-cheeseburger looked until it was placed in front of me. I didn't care that I was basically about to ingest oil. I wolfed it down in record time, stunning Henry. I wasn't in the mood to be self-conscious about it - I was fueled by digestives for the last few days - and when it was gone I was already at my feet, looking for more. Henry was speechless. He should have known that I was an absolute carnivore at times.

"You mother is going to meet you tomorrow." Dad explained, probably using my moment of culinary weakness as an opening. "She just wants to talk about everything."

I had too much food in my mouth, so my OK turned into a series of unintelligible noises which served its purpose. I just needed to sleep things off and I could go on about my grand adventure in the United States of America with her. Eventually my need to sleep overrode my need to eat, which was just as well, because Dad was already heading for his cab. It was a far cry from the Jaguar he knew laid in wait outside our home, but it was a pair of wheels and they would have to do. Henry and I followed behind, giving him space for himself.

"I need to call Trish..." I yawned, fully aware that I wasn't going to be calling anybody this evening. The boy beside me rolled his eyes, fully aware.

"The only person you're calling tonight is the Sandman."

"The what?"

"Sandman? Helps you sleep? Gives you sweet, peppy dreams?"

"Who the hell are you, Henry?"

"So one of my jokes fell a little flat, what can you do?"

"A joke implies it was going to be funny in the first place!" I quipped effortlessly, falling back into our comfortable routine. He took it all in good stride, just like he always did. We piled into the cab, pretty much mirroring the experience in the US. I was sick of travelling and I would have walked home if I could, but I wouldn't have heard the end of it. I stretched while Henry occupied himself with his phone, scrolling through the media. The familiarity of the roads and buildings crept up on me, but I didn't want to be familiar with this city anymore. I wanted to be in the States.

I wanted to be with Percy.

The cab arrived at our place. Henry opened the door for me like the gentleman he was. I didn't really have the energy to do even that, so I thanked him and limped sheepshily to the door. Dad went in ahead of us with our luggage, leaving us out in the open. I wanted more than anything to head inside with him, to wrap myself in my blankets and sleep for a solid week, but I knew Dad's subtleties. I knew Henry's as well. This was all staged. This was Henry's big comeback.

"So...Hannah..." He started, right on cue. I knew exactly how he would react; the scratching of his head, the slight way in that his voice raised at the end of the setence, the absolute refusal to look me dead in the eye when he spoke. It made me smile. They were little cues I loved about him.

"You...don't think..."

I put my finger on his lips, stopping him.

"No."

*

If you were reading this far, then I just want to thank you for following this story.

It was the first original story I attempted in 2013, which was taken down a few years ago. I decided to re-write this, because the characters of Percy and Hannah stuck with me wherever I went. While the main plot is done, I will be adding substantial chunks in the next coming months, including more school and society interactions, more character development for Jeremy, Aisling and Adam, as well as counselling sessions between Percy and his therapist (a big part of the novel which was omitted from the first draft)

But really, thank so much again for your interest! I look forward to reading any stories you request me to read!

Kind Regards,

Danny