Status: In Progress
Summary:
Created: November 17, 2013 | Updated: November 21, 2013
Genre : Drama
Language : English
Reviews: 0 | Rating:
Favorites: 0
Reads: 1160
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Total Wordcount: | 14110 |
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Comments / Critiques
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Chapter: 1 Reply
I found this chapter quite choppy, and sometimes a little confusing. It’s better not to simply start a story with a description of the main character (at least in my opinion). The story would work better if it opened with a scene, either blending in the description with the action or simply waiting a while before describing your main character.
I also found it a little jarring how quickly she clings to Darcy. At first I thought it would be some sort of dark, twisted relationship, but one minute she was afraid of him and the next he’s her best friend. I think this story has a lot of potential but I think it would be better to slow the pace down a bit ^^
November 17, 2013 | Genevieve Middleton