Sparkatale

I guess I'll have to start by apologizing for not reading all the chapters yet. Geez, it feels like I've been doing this a lot lately (I'm currently sitting on a commuter train, by the way). But seriously, try having an awesome relationship, a mischievous cat, video games (hehe), and go to law school at the same time and see how much free time you have left!

Anyway, (putting my first embarrassing comment aside...) I have to agree that every great adventure starts with a train. It must be something magical about trains, and obviously not the people riding it. Logical correlation. Period.

I liked how the dialogue carried on the first chapter. It was very easy to follow - clear and simple. And the writing is like... melted butter! Delicious! (Haha. weird.)

I've liked plots that introduce the problems, solutions, everything, etc in the first chapter; thus, I though it worked out good. Also, it was a nice introduction to Leviathan, and when compared with his behavior in the following chapters, gave him a little bit of depth.

I was a little bit confused in the third chapter when they mentioned Greek spells. From the first chapter, I got the feeling of a fantasy world with a bit of a modern setting. So I just want to know whether I'm retarded or if this is taking place in our world (altered obviously).

Some adverbs that modified the verb 'said' (or an equivalent) felt quite unnecessary at times. It slowed the reading down a bit, and didn't really contribute with anything that the reader's imagination wouldn't be able to find. And a lot of the sentences would have the same meaning without them.

This is really nice so far. I mean, who doesn't love Magic and Stuff? The length of the chapters usually feels good. Although some of them could've been a bit longer, but overall it's nice. I don't enjoy reading insanely long paragraphs anyway, so this suited me well. It was like. Awesome. Huhuhuhuhu. Oddball no.1 - out!

Good luck and keep it up! =D