Sparkatale

A great opening chapter which makes me want to read the next chapter (so I'll be up for trading moche chapters).

The writing style is neat and the descriptions are awsome, gently introducing readers to a fairly-tale-like world. The little fight between the fantasy creatures at the beginning was a fine way to show both the magic in (I forgot the name, forgive me) and Bordelia's character, as well as subtly dropping some information about the very construction of the world. None of the elements seemed forced onto readers and I didn't get the impression I was overwhelmed with information - you did a good job.

The descriptions were great, didn't lack the details and weren't boringly long. In one word - perfect.

Borderlia is a likeable goddess, because you showed her human side when she feels attraction to her lover and is terrified when she notices he feels the same for her sister. That plot development created a fine cliffhanger and added a little of the needed action here.

Overall, the chapter was good and even though I try, I can't find anything to complain about. Good job!

Gosh, what an emotion-evoking chapter. Needless to say, I was sypmathizing with Bordelia all the time and supporting her course of action, although I half-expected her to murder her former lover and sister (that would be a bit too harsh though). The silly attempts of the couple explaining to Bordelia that "it wasn't what it looked like" was classic and only fueled my anger.

I was impressed of how swift the justice was and, impressed by how skillfully and gently you introduced the idea of multiple gods and Bordelia as a supreme goddess.

Overall a fine chapter.

Thanks for that. The world created for The Tales of Alhanassa is very female orientated. It all came from how humanity treat women, now but mostly within our own history! I hope it empowers women and not make them think I hate men cos I don't. Especially my hubby :) 

What a nice chapter. Am I right that this story is actually a mythology for another story? The story's style is great and I love the choice of words.

As for the plot, the two of them saw that coming. I have a feeling, that the ex-lover will become a very bitter and venegful god, who'll reclaim his powers one day. I expected Bordelia to be harsher, but such "mild" punishment is a proof she may be swayed by emotion, but she has a good heart.

The gods are similar to Greek gods, with their human weaknesss, desires and emotions.

It is the start of my work on a world called Alhanassa. It did start off as a prolog but it got a bit long for that :) 

It's really a fine advertisement for the main story - I really wouldn't mind reading and reviewing it.

By the way, did you get a chance to look at Mystic Mirror?

Just the prolog upto now but will get into it soon :) 

So, Bren'has is evil. How dastardly of him.

Anyway, a nice conclusion although I'd like Bren'has to receive a more serious punishment which wouldn't put the future at risk, but i suppose there wouldn't be as much fun without an evil, powerless god lurking in Alhassa. Yes, I think Bordelia made a mistake she'll regret in the future.

I'm not sure if you noticed, but there are weird formatting issues in Chapter 3 and Chapter 2 - the font has different size in certain paragraphs.

The story about Bordelia and the gods was a light, fun short novel which made me take a look into the world of Alhassa. Will you be willing to do more of the review trade?

I noticed the formatting prob too, and couldnt sort it out! 

The next story, Dark Magic Rising is in progress. I have loads started and will eventualy work through them all ;) 

I am looking forward tor eading more of your work. just short on time at the mo