Sparkatale

First of all, I haven't followed your work since I haven't been on this site very often, but well done for making stories based off the Halo Universe: Long-time fan, loved the Infinite trailer and all the little easter eggs that came along with it ^^

I won't say anything about the plot because this is obviously an arc, but one thing I'll note is that in your conversations you always reference whose speaking (John said:, Frederic said: etc.) You don't actually need to do this because when readers go over the chapters, they can pick up on whose saying something, and to whom. If for example, John has a long conversation with Frederic, you can just write in the conversation. Of course, if it changes to a different character then point it out to the reader, but that was just something I picked up on and I used to do it myself. 

I'll try and follow this chronologically because I'm trying to get back into this site with my own writing, but best of luck!