Beings from the Otherworld, a Fantasy story | SparkaTale

Sparkatale

Beings from the Otherworld

By: Anabel Canas

Status: In Progress

Summary:

Siblings Alex and Robbie have lived with their grandparents for two years, after an incident that involved their parents occurred, and have often wondered why haven't they learned of their grandparents before from their mother...and what's with all the locked rooms in the mansion they're not allowed to go into, the locked shelf of books they're not allowed to read and the questions they're not allowed to ask. They find the answers to these questions one night, when their grandparents are out of the house and a mysterious being invades the mansion and attacks them. What are their grandparents' histories, who are these strange beings that keep showing up and trying to kill them, and what is the Otherworld that they keep mentioning.

Created: March 21, 2018 | Updated: January 20, 2022

Genre : Fantasy

Language : English

Reviews: 0 | Rating:

Comments: 12

Favorites: 1

Reads: 21751


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1: Chapter 1 2250
2: Chapter 2 1884
3: Chapter 3 1881
4: Chapter 4 1859
5: Chapter 5 1955
6: Chapter 6 2431
7: Chapter 7 2225
8: Chapter 8 2766
9: Chapter 9 1878
10: Chapter 10 1993
11: Chapter 11 1880
12: Chapter 12 1778
13: Chapter 13 1808
14: Chapter 14 2057
15: Chapter 15 1734
16: Chapter 16 1793
17: Chapter 17 1366
18: Chapter 18 1754
19: Chapter 19 1764
20: Chapter 20 1968
21: Chapter 21 2792
22: Chapter 22 1800
23: Chapter 23 1599
24: Chapter 24 1722
25: Chapter 25 1505
26: Chapter 26 1881
27: Chapter 27 1720
28: Chapter 28 1875
29: Chapter 29 1791
30: Chapter 30 1636
31: Chapter 31 1404
32: Chapter 32 1230
33: Chapter 33 1451
34: Chapter 34 1521
35: Chapter 35 1726
36: Chapter 36 1608
37: Chapter 37 1607
38: Chapter 38 1367
39: Chapter 39 1377
40: Chapter 40 1669
41: Chapter 41 1594
42: Chapter 42 1491
43: Chapter 43 1628
44: Chapter 44 1837
45: Chapter 45 1801
46: Chapter 46 1581
47: Chapter 47 1453
48: Chapter 48 1424
49: Chapter 49 1374
50: Chapter 50 1465
51: Chapter 51 1231
52: Chapter 52 1129
53: Chapter 53 1691
54: Chapter 54 1414
55: Chapter 55 1463
56: Chapter 56 1560
57: Chapter 57 1521
58: Chapter 58 1890
59: Chapter 59 2042
60: Chapter 60 1410
61: Chapter 61 1692
62: Chapter 62 1577
63: Chapter 63 1332
64: Chapter 64 1292
65: Chapter 65 1399
66: Chapter 66 1485
67: Chapter 67 1595
68: Chapter 68 1555
69: Chapter 69 1616
70: Chapter 70 1431
71: Chapter 71 1541
72: Chapter 72 1569
73: Chapter 73 1678
74: Chapter 74 1693
75: Chapter 75 1814
76: Chapter 76 1720
77: Chapter 77 1748
78: Chapter 78 1545
79: Chapter 79 1673
80: Chapter 80 1933
81: Chapter 81 1769
82: Chapter 82 1170
83: Chapter 83 1893
84: Chapter 84 1640
85: Chater 85 1701
86: Chapter 86 1856
87: Chapter 87 1680
88: Chapter 88 1428
89: Chapter 89 1975
90: Chapter 90 1849
91: Chapter 91 1966
92: Chapter 92 1920
93: Chapter 93 1833
94: Chapter 94 1789
95: Chapter 95 1592
96: Chapter 96 1741
97: Chapter 97 1487
98: Chapter 98 1487
99: Chapter 99 1708
100: Chapter 100 1531
101: Chapter 101 1599
102: Chapter 102 1625
103: Chapter 103 1726
104: Chapter 104 1609
105: Chapter 105 1587
106: Chapter 106 1487
107: Chapter 107 1734
108: Chapter 108 1739
109: Chapter 109 1717
110: Chapter 110 1657
111: Chapter 111 1751
112: Chapter 112 1735
113: Chapter 113 1748
114: Chapter 114 1773
115: Chapter 115 1728
116: Chapter 116 1308
117: Chapter 117 1937
118: Chapter 118 1886
119: Chapter 119 1655
120: Chapter 120 1555
121: Chapter 121 1704
122: Chapter 122 1765
123: Chapter 123 1949
124: Chapter 124 2006
125: Chapter 125 1848
126: Chapter 126 1682
Total Wordcount: 213717

Reviews (0)


    Comments / Critiques


      • Chapter: 1 Reply

        Great first chapter! The mansion has many inhabitants and it sets up the mystery of the place well.  The reader will want to know the answers to the questions that the kids are asking, such as why they are prohibited from reading certain books or entering their grandfather's study. I found that I wanted to read more to find out what will happen. I loved the characters and wanted to know a little bit more about how Alex felt about them or how she perceived them.  From the reader's perspective, there are a lot of different characters to get to know and it can get confusing if they're all introduced in the beginning chapter.     

        If I may offer a constructive suggestion, I would say that it might be helpful to focus primarily on Alex and Robbie in the beginning chapter, since they are the main characters and need to be given the greatest amount of attention so that they stand out firmly in the reader's mind.  The others might be introduced through Alex's or Robbie's point of view, but perhaps more slowly over the span of a few chapters  so that the reader gets to know them better?  

        One more observation is that the chapter begins from Alex's point of view but  the story moves away from Alex after she goes into her intense fear reaction.  As a reader, I had become identified with Alex by then and needed the consistency of staying with Alex's thoughts so that I knew what was going on within her at that moment.  I have found that, when I'm writing a story with lots of different characters, it's best to stick to only one (or a maximum of two) points of view.  Perhaps Robbie and Alex could find out what happened with Ivan and the explosion in the next chapter, to build suspense? 

        These are just a few thoughts that I wanted to share with you after reading the first chapter, but they are only suggestions from one reader so you may or may not find them helpful. 

        I encourage you to continue writing and working on the story as it is very  imaginative and sets the stage for an exciting narrative.  Write on!               

        May 2, 2018 | Paula Grover


      • Chapter: 2 Reply

        The character of Robbie is well established in this chapter, as we learn more about his feelings about being at the mansion and his desire to find out more about the secret rooms. Skylar is also a very interesting character. Is there a way that he can use his vast knowledge of different cultures and peoples later on in the story? I also like the character of Beast--he's quite the curmudgeon. Great job at characterization! The chapter also encourages the reader to keep reading to discover what will be behind the locks that Robbie will learn to pick. Excellent ending for the second chapter.

        May 2, 2018 | Paula Grover


      • Chapter: 3 Reply

        The suspense is well built in this chapter. The amphibian being is a big surprise for the reader as well as for Leah!

        May 2, 2018 | Paula Grover


      • Chapter: 4 Reply

        The excitement really builds well in this chapter!

        May 2, 2018 | Paula Grover


      • Chapter: 7 Reply

        Great chapter! I like the character of Bog, and that he has turned from being the nameless enemy into the kids' friend.  

        May 8, 2018 | Paula Grover


      • Chapter: 5 Reply

        The story moves well in this chapter, with lots of action and even a few answers to the mystery of the secret books.  Great job!  

        May 8, 2018 | Paula Grover


      • Chapter: 6 Reply

        Beast really develops well in this chapter.  It's interesting that he's showing a more vulnerable side to his partner.  I also love the name for the Ampman, and that he also lives in a marsh--very appropriate for an amphibian!  

        May 8, 2018 | Paula Grover


      • Chapter: 8 Reply

        These are some really interesting beings that you're creating; and the magic is very smart and powerful.  I had never heard of "aquakinesis" before and just looked it up.  Amazing!

        May 16, 2018 | Paula Grover


      • Chapter: 11 Reply

        Wow, the Playa is one very frightening character! I really hope he gets completely out of his mind-controlled state.

        This is a very important chapter because it speaks about the injustices that have surrounded rape (for both women and men), and although this a subject that is often avoided by many writers, you talk about it in a very fearless and straight-forward way.  

        One thing that I was thinking as I read the chapter was that if the Playa was from a society which enforced the death penalty for rape, then it would be considered a crime by them rather than merely a taboo.

        I looked up the word taboo and it is defined as something "prohibited or restricted by social custom" and so it's not the same thing as an actual law.  Because rape is such a serious topic, I felt like the Playa society should call it out as a crime rather than just as a taboo. 

        Overall, the chapter moves the action along well; and it also causes me to anticipate what other beings are going to arrive!      

        May 21, 2018 | Paula Grover


      • Chapter: 18 Reply

        The idea of the Nymph is very interesting, as I think that they were very prominent beings in Greek mythology--and having her bring a supersonic guitar as a weapon adds a modern twist to the old myths (I seem to remember that the Nymphs were very much associated with music as well as water?).  

        The suspense has been building well from the last couple of chapters and this chapter is very active and exciting. 

        June 18, 2018 | Paula Grover


      • Chapter: 21 Reply

        You discuss some very important issues in this chapter, through Skylar and the Otherworld characters.  The Otherworlders must find the Human world insane, with all its hatred and racism!  It was especially poignant when Skylar speaks about Martin Luther King and expresses how racism affects him emotionally.  

        Excellent job on this chapter! 

        June 18, 2018 | Paula Grover


      • Chapter: 20 Reply

        I really like the name of Alex's lion, Snow King. It reminded me of the beautiful picture of the lion at the beginning of your story (and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, a book that also features Otherworldly beings!).

        Also, I had heard of "OCD" (obsessive compulsive disorder, an anxiety disorder) but had never heard of "OCPD".  I looked it up and found out that it stands for "obsessive compulsive personality disorder" and it's similar to OCD but not exactly the same thing because it's not an anxiety disorder.  I always like learning something new, and reading the chapter helped me to do that.  

        I'm very much enjoying the humor in the story, as well.   

        June 18, 2018 | Paula Grover