Status: In Progress
Summary:
Four girls lived in a Sunshine Coast all-girls orphanage. They don't know that they are the most important beings in the strange and war-ridden world of Fyra, kingdom of magic and power. When six of the Master's guards kidnap them back to the land, they are met with the enemy in their kingdoms war. Will they be able to join their own people in the fight? Yes, I suck at summaries
Created: September 19, 2013 | Updated: October 9, 2013
Genre : Fantasy
Language : English
Reviews: 0 | Rating:
Favorites: 2
Reads: 1708
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Comments / Critiques
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Chapter: 1 Reply
I was confused by the "My Pov" point. at first I though "My" was her name. And I totally forgot you're Australian so your slang is different than mine. I like how you describe the locker set up- I could picture it in my head. The beginning dialogue with the girls gave me a bit of mental whip-lash. Perhaps if you describe what the girls look like and give their full names first before you mention any nick-names it would be helpful. But Liam's personality is very like-able! :)September 23, 2013 | Retrograde Heartbreak
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Chapter: 2 Reply
I like that I was able to see more of Liam's sarcastic personality and her temper. Her power- which I'm guessing is Ice related- is more evident in this chapter so what I thought at first was foreboding turned out to be relevant to her character and that is a good twist. I'm still not sure about Beth and Savannah. I want to see a bit more of them. I really like it though! Definitely ready for the next chapter!September 23, 2013 | Retrograde Heartbreak
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Thank you so much! I'm really happy you like my story! I'll see if I can fix up the things you were talking about. What's your Fictionpress/Fanfiction username?September 23, 2013 | Nevermore Frost
