Status: In Progress
Summary:
Kids had been going missing for a few months, no one quite knowing if the kids were still alive. Many believe the killer is an unsuspicious male or female who abducts children to exploit them or ransom with them. Not soon after the killings started, Rachel Dansom, a not-so famous female detective, moved into the block where the abductions started, hoping to start anew.
-CURRENTLY NOT BEING UPDATED-
Created: September 19, 2013 | Updated: September 22, 2013
Genre : Thriller
Language : English
Reviews: 1 | Rating:
Favorites: 1
Reads: 619
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| 1: | Chapter One | 782 |
| Total Wordcount: | 782 |
Reviews (1)
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Although the writing is good and the descriptions are vivd, this one-shot is very clearly a first chapter of a much larger story. Rowe mentions that writers block kicked in, which would explain the disconnect between the characters, but still doesn't make up for the fact that readers a left slightly confused and wanting more.
Rating:
September 20, 2013 Flag
Comments / Critiques
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Well this would have been a great first chapter for a whole story, but as a one-shot it needs some changes. I would get rid of the Rachel bit if you're not continuing since she's not linked to Tommy or Fey in what you have posted. I think you should come back to this idea, though, after some time and give it another go. As much as stories like this keep me up at night (I'm a wimp) you have a pretty good start to what could be a very suspenseful story. So maybe put it back to in progress and just note that it's currently not being updated. It would be a shame to let a nice start like this go to waste.September 20, 2013 | D.M. Gergen
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Thank you very much! Suspense and thriller is not exactly my genre—I'm more acquainted with fantasy and the like (and I added a bit of fantasy into this one, too)—so I knew that this wouldn't go very far, but I wanted to at least try. I put it into "In Progress" and said it's not being updated. And I hope I continue, though I'm not sure right now... Thank you, again.September 21, 2013 | K M Rowe
