Sparkatale

Yay! You decided to do it :) I'm actually really excited for these since based on what you've said they sound intriguing. This first one is quite interesting. It was nice to get to see something so normal as a little girl's first day of school. It's such a change, both narratively and tonally, from the main story that it's quite jarring, but in a good way. Little Janelle is absolutely adorable! I like what you did with the way she speaks as well, it makes her seem that much more childlike and far removed from the woman we know. It was nice to see a bit of Janelle's family as well. I feel like we know quite a bit about them given the stories Janelle has told, but it's good to actually meet them properly. Oh, and Michelle as well! This had made me want to see more of her, especially after the things Gina said. By the way, I don't think I've ever gotten the urge to punch someone in the face quite as fast as you made me want to punch Gina. That takes talent, no doubt xD. Literally, she's annoying from her first sentence :P   

It's safe to say I did not at all expect Alex to appear here. Seeing how they met and him giving her the nickname Jan was quite interesting. I guess I'd always assumed they had met when they had been a little older, so the fact that they met so young surprised me. This also serves as a great reminder that Alex, despite what he became, at one time was just a little boy. Perhaps a rambunctious little boy that runs away from his mother, but a little boy nonetheless. I must say, I do wonder why his mother wanted him to stay home from school. Seeing young Tom and Sam was interesting too. Tom seems happier here than he does normally, which I suppose would make sense considering. Still, seeing him fiddling about with his gloves and knowing what he's hiding is really sad. It was also sad to see Amy's behavior towards Sam. It seems pretty clear that people know Tom and Sam don't share the same father, but that's not Sam's fault. Of course, I'm assuming that's the reason for her response.

 "Our mine hasn't had a collapse in years." That right there is what we call famous last words :P That's akin to asking; "What could possibly go wrong?" Lots of things, John. Lots of things could go wrong. Stop jinxing yourself, sir :P Anyway, I really enjoyed this tiny bit of backstory and I'll be sure to get to the next one soon. This definitely adds to the main series, that's for sure. There's a lot of little things that if someone ignores your warnings and hadn't been reading Gifted/Cursed wouldn't pick up on but are clear to anyone who's been reading. It's well-written and it kept me interested all the way through to the end. In fact, you managed to leave me wanting more, especially with that last line. If only you knew, Janelle. If only you knew. 

Thanks for the comment! I’m glad that Janelle’s childness was convincing :P I tried my best, but I wasn’t very convinced I’d done a good job at it. Anyway, she certainly is very different from the way she ends up in the future. She had a normal, rather sheltered childhood for the most part, with loving parents and lots of friends despite her worries in this story that no-one would like her :P Anyway, it wasn’t until later in life that things started to go wrong for her, so she’s a lot more jaded in the main story than she used to be.

 Heh, I have to say out of all the characters I’ve ever created Gina is probably my least favourite so I don’t blame you at all for wanting to punch her :P Anyway, her opinion about Michelle is not an uncommon one in their village :( She had to put up with a lot of crap from the other villagers, and you’re right that it’s mostly because her children have different fathers – but that’s not the reason for Amy’s treatment of Sam. The reason Amy acts the way she does around Samantha is because she has known, almost since she was born, who Sam’s father is. Michelle never told her about her relationship with 805 but she figured it out later on because of various reasons that would take an incredibly long time to explain properly :P Anyway, she guessed her father is Gifted and that’s what makes her wary of Samantha. For the villagers the Gifted are seen as almost non-human a lot of the time, so the idea that a Gifted and a nonGifted could conceive a child is rather mind-boggling for them.

As for Janelle and Alex, similarly to Janelle and Sam/Thomas, they met when they were young (it’s a small village so it’s pretty much inevitable :P) but they didn’t form a significant relationship until they were much older.  Haha, John really shouldn't say things like that, should he :P Still, in the end he didn't die in a mining accident so somehow he managed to avoid the jinxing magic. I need to find out his secret :P Anyway, thanks again for the comment :)

I was hoping there would be a story with more detail about the Servants, and this one is exactly what I was looking for. The Servants probably have it worse than just about anyone on the island, so it's good to finally see the world from their perspective. Seeing how they live and how they're treated in more detail is really sad. I mean, it's obvious that the Gifted see them as little more than slaves, but with the way the Gift of Fire talks about "one of them" and his smile and everything he says there at the end... geez. I mean, it's no surprise the Servants go into hysterics if they're even slightly reprimanded. If you know you might have your fingernails torn out or something, you're going to panic a bit.

I do wonder what the Gift of Fire was doing when he left the Servant in the library alone. Since its clear he wasn't supposed to, I'm curious what he's getting up to. I can't imagine he's doing it as some sort of test for the Servant to see if he'll break and do something he's not supposed to. Given the Gifted's views of the Servants, that seems like too much time and effort spent on one of them. Curious. And also, the Gift of Fire's words upon returning are interesting. Sorry about that. That's an interesting choice of words. Why would he apologize to the Servant for leaving him there? Based upon what he says later on, he certainly doesn't think he could ever possibly inconvenience the Servant, so that's interesting as well.    

The ending went roughly as I expected until, well, it didn't :P The second the Servant picked up that book, I knew he was sure to be caught and punished. Once he punched the Gift of Fire, I was pretty sure he was going to die. And then you turned what could have been one of the saddest stories I've read into something quite hopeful. I loved that. I was bracing for something heartbreaking, but instead what we got was a young man free from the Gifted and on the cusp of a new life. Talk about a mood whiplash xD And Rosa! Now, I know there could be other Rosas on the Island, but somehow I imagine this particular Rosa grows up to be an innkeeper. Anyway, this was another good little adventure into a different part of the world that we don't get to see much of. I thought you did a good job making me care about a character whose name we never even learn and you did it in a rather short span of time as well. Good job on this one. I'm looking forward to seeing what the next one is about :)

Thanks for the comment! I’m glad you liked this story. When I first started writing Gifted I never gave the Servants much thought. They were simply a device I used to explain what happens if the Gifted have children and how the Council/other Gifted headquarters are kept running, but my fascination with them has grown exponentially as I’ve kept writing. They really are slaves in everything but name and even the “good” Gifted are at best uncomfortably dismissive of the way Servants are treated. Like 256 (until recently), they don’t like it, but they choose to ignore it because it makes them feel uncomfortable rather than confront the way Servants are treated. 805, on the other hand, does confront it a bit on a personal level only, but… Well, that’s another story :P

Anyway, the Servant in this story is a medical Servant, and they are in general treated slightly (emphasis on slightly :P) better than the rest of the Servants because the Gifted are aware they have vital skills that the rest don’t. Supervising medical Servant trainees is a job the Gifted have to do (especially when they’re in the library) but it’s pretty much the most hated job in the Council so whoever has to do it usually feels like they’ve pulled the short straw :P Heh, well I’d like to say that there’s a secret hidden meaning behind the Gift of Fire saying sorry to the Servant. But that would just be a desperate attempt to protect my reputation, because in reality it's just me making a dumb mistake xD You’re right, he really shouldn’t be so polite to the Servant, it was a silly error on my part. I’ll change it :P

Well, not everything has to end tragically, does it? Just most things :P Heh, although I’m sure there are a lot of Rosas on the island, this one grew up to be the Rosa you’re thinking of. And as for the Servant, well, he grew up to be someone rather important, too ;)

I'm sorry for taking ages to get to this. I read it just after you posted it, but sadly it's been a crazy couple of weeks and I haven't had a chance to comment until now. Anyway, this... heartbreaking doesn't quite describe what I feel when I read this. It's beautiful in a way, but really sad. I expected this to be a sad one considering that opening, but this really tugged at the heartstrings. As much as I hate to make the reference, there's a bit of a Romeo and Juliet feel to this in the way that 805 and Michelle are star-crossed lovers and we already know that they're doomed from the very beginning. And yet despite that, I still found myself hoping 805 would agree to run away with Michelle even though I know he doesn't. I'm also left wondering what might have happened if Michelle had told him she was pregnant. It seems pretty clear that's what she initially intended to tell him and I'm quite curious what he would have done if he had known at the time. I still don't think he would have run away with her, but I suppose anything is possible. As for the woman in 805's dream there at the beginning, at first I thought it could be his mother, but then that doesn't really make much sense seeing as he has said that his family doesn't mean anything to him and he doesn't know them anyway, so that's unlikely. Maybe his trainer? I feel like it's really obvious and I'm just missing it. That's what I get for trying to form thoughts after one in the morning :P

It was nice to see this side of 805. He seems very different from the 805 that we know from the main series. He's younger and in love and it was good to see that part of him. We don't get to see a happy 805 on a regular basis and although he wasn't particularly happy for much of this story at all, there's a glimpse of it so I enjoyed that. And in a complete and total mood whiplash (:P) we also get to see exactly what 805 meant when he told Carey that he didn't want to live and tried to make it happen. It was interesting that it was this that Michelle was thinking about when she decided not to tell him about her pregnancy. I imagine she was considering what he might do if she told him the truth and I can't blame her for keeping it to herself despite how hard it must have been. Still, their final moments together were really sweet and Michelle taught him a valuable lesson: Gifted can fall in love. And then the ending with him realizing that he'll never see Michelle again and starts to cry... let's put it this way, you're getting way too good at making me cry :P Anyway, this one might be my favorite of the short stories so far. There's a lot of backstory which I always like and it adds so much to 805's character. This is definitely one of those times that goes to show that some of the best romances can be the ones where love doesn't conquer all. You know from the start what happens and that they're doomed, but even so I wanted them to make it. I'm not sure how you managed to make me feel that, but you did it and you did it well. Good job :)

"Besides, you're pretty hot, so it's worth it." That is exactly what every single one of his fangirls says xD Oh, or maybe that's just me and Hahana... nevermind :P

Thanks for the comment! I’m really glad you liked this chapter :) To say I had trouble writing it is an understatement :P Romance really isn’t one of my strong suits, and I made it 10 times harder for myself by using a male POV. Most of the scribblings I already had for this chapter were from Michelle’s POV, but I knew if I was going to post it I’d change it to 805’s since he’s the one who’s still alive in the main story. Hopefully he was convincing :P Anyway, I don’t think Romeo and Juliet is that bad a comparison to make – I mean, they’re not exactly alike (at least, I hope they’re not :P) but they certainly have the classic star-crossed lovers thing going for them. As for the woman in his dream, both his mother and his trainer are good guesses. I mean, although yes he’s never met his mother the woman in his dream could simply be how he imagines her to be. And obviously his trainer is someone he’s actually met so that’s certainly a possibility too. Anyway, I’m not sure if I’ll ever reveal who she is so keep forming theories :P I’d like to, but unless I decide to write another side story about it (which I don’t plan to at the moment) she probably won’t come up because it’s not something 805 likes to mention at all. So unless someone catches him drunk again there’s not much chance that he’ll talk about her :P

Anyway, 805 at 22 is certainly very different to 47/48 year old 805. A lot of his bitterness and his generally cynical view of the Gifted/nonGifted divide stems from how his and Michelle’s relationship ended, so at this point he has yet to really develop that until he gets back to the Council and has to deal with the loneliness of their separation. He’s not particularly optimistic and he’s obviously dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts by this point of his life, but he still has a certain naivety, I suppose, which he’s lost almost completely later on. Anyway, you’re right that Michelle did want to tell him she was pregnant initially, and that she fears what he would have done if he knew. I’m glad that got through, because it’s something I feared was lost when I switched it from her POV to 805’s. Anyway, thanks again for the comment! Heh, that does sound like something fangirls would say, doesn’t it :P And hey, maybe you and Hahana aren’t the only ones. Present day 805 is rather famous among the Gifted, particularly the Gifts of Earth, so he may have some more there xD

I'm actually quite glad I didn't have a chance to comment on this earlier because it gave me time to process everything that happened. I can safely say that when I opened this, I was not at all expecting that ending and even after this much time I don't know how to feel. Anyway, okay, let's get this started. It was nice to get a lot more backstory on 913 as well as 256's early days with the Gifted. We don't really learn that much about 913 in the main series, so it was good to see her and find out how their relationship developed as well as seeing a young 256. I just knew he'd be adorable xD It's got to be difficult, especially for the children, to not form attachments. What the Gifted teach is so counter to basic human instinct that I'm surprised they even manage to maintain it. Then again, considering the punishments involved maybe it's not that big of a surprise. Locking Gifts of Air in a tiny box? Geez, that's pretty terrible :/ It makes sense that's what they'd be scared of, but damn that's psychological torture right there. And then to follow it up with physical torture as well? That's just cruel. Then again, I suppose it wouldn't be torture if it wasn't cruel.

For someone well aware of the punishments for attachments, 913 isn't very good at hiding said attachment, is she? I suppose that's what love does to us, doesn't it? It makes us behave irrationally. The Leader kind of makes a good point, honestly. I mean, he's right. Attachments can be used against people and love is easily turned into a weapon, but who would want to live like that? You know, I find this Leader very interesting indeed. He seems so much more... what's the word? Fair? Diplomatic? Obviously he's as staunchly devoted to the Gifted's way of doing things as any of the others, but I liked the way he insisted on hearing all sides of what happened. He strikes me as someone who leads very differently than the current Leader. 4450, however... well, we'll get to that guy later.

That ending though, holy hell. I did not see that coming. I guess one reason why it shocked me so much is that I thought 913 was still alive. Unless my memory is even worse than I realized (which I'll admit is very possible :P) but I don't recall ever reading that she was dead. 256 said several times that she would hate him and never forgive him, so he clearly never learned of 913's death. That makes sense seeing as I doubt the Gifted would want that information getting out. I don't know, I just always thought there might possibly be a reunion between them at some point in the future, so learning that's now impossible is a little jarring. It's going to make me have a very different feeling whenever 256 mentions her now. Anyway, obviously any mention of suicide hits a little close to home, as this instance did, however I must say there is something darkly beautiful about the whole thing. She's doing it for 256, not because she wants to die. It's definitely a different a different take on the topic and it's... yeah, I think darkly beautiful is as fitting a description as I can come up with. That title couldn't be more fitting either. It would take the love of a mother to do what she did. She wanted to save him and she did just that. He may not have ended up how she probably envisioned, but I'd like to think her compassion helped him become the young man we know today.

4450 is a douche, let's just get that out of the way right now. This guy is just... ugh. If I hope for anything, it's that the Servants one day get their well-deserved revenge. If anyone anywhere deserves to burn the Gifted's way of life down around them, it's the Servants. Just the tiny glimpse we get at what they're forced to do by people like 4450 is sickening. The thing is, a tiny part of me feels sorry for 4450 with that last sentence. That's a terrible thing to be cursed with for the rest of his life, but considering what he was doing mere hours before I have a hard time feeling much remorse for him. Anyway, this short story is quite well done. There's a lot of backstory, which again is one of my favorite parts of this. But its also very emotional, heartbreaking, and thought provoking at the same time. I mean, how do you find the strength to kill yourself to protect someone you love? That's different than stepping in front of a gun or something. That's instinct, that's an in the moment response. This is something altogether different and I suppose once again the title sums it up much better than I can. Overall, great job on this! I'm looking forward to seeing where the next one goes :)

Thanks for the comment! And you didn’t forget, 913’s death has never been mentioned in the main story :P 256 has always thought of her as being alive because he’s never seen any evidence to suggest otherwise. But now he knows 440 died while they were apart he’ll probably start to consider the possibility that she’s died too while before it wouldn’t have even crossed his mind. Still, in all likeliness he’ll never find out the truth, but the Council would have a record of her death hidden away somewhere so it’s not impossible that he’ll find out one day.  Anyway, although 913 certainly does think killing herself will keep 256 safe since she’d no longer be around to “tempt” him back into attachedness (and we all know how well that worked for him :P), I wouldn’t say that she didn’t want to die. I mean, to have thoughts like that – that someone would be better off if you died, whether it’s true or not – I don’t think anyone could have a thought like that and follow through with suicide if they truly wanted to keep on living. It’s a combination, I suppose, of both the despair and psychological damage her punishment left as well as her desire to protect 256 that led to her decision.

As for the Leader, he certainly is very different from the present holder of that title :P I think diplomatic is a very good word to describe him. His more rational attitude is partly because he’s older and has a lot more experience under his belt than the current Leader. By this story, he’s been Leader for over thirty years and would stay in power for another ten up until his death. The present Leader has only been in the position for two years and is currently in charge of a Council made up of people who are at least 25+ years older than her (she’s 23). And although this hasn’t been mentioned yet, she’s also the first female Leader, so she feels like she has a lot to prove. Anyway, I’ll shut up about her now because I find her fascinating and I’ll reveal way too much if I keep going the way I am :P

Heh, douche is exactly the right word to call 4450. He certainly deserves it, but if anyone accused him of being a rapist he’d be mortally offended. To him, Servants are not real people and unfortunately he’s not the only one with that opinion :/ Focussing on the Council + the Leader since they’re the ones with personal Servants, I’d say around ¾ of them (including both Leaders) have the basic morality to, you know, not rape their Servants on a regular basis. They’d use them for cleaning, cooking, etc., but not that. Still, there’s still a sizable amount of Council members and ordinary Gifted who do, and there’s no law saying they can’t so they get away scot-free most of the time :/ Anyway, I don’t blame you for feeling a little sorry for 4450 for having to remember the image or her body for the rest of his life – I do too, since it’s not something I’d wish on anyone. Still, better him than anyone else, that’s what I think. 

Sorry for taking forever to get to this :( I went down to Florida on the 5th and I’m sure I’ll ramble about it for a while in the next message since this isn’t the right place to do so, but I went down there to see the SpaceX Falcon Heavy rocket launch for the first time. It was an event I’d been waiting to see for years and I had to see it in person. Let me just say holy hell was it amazing! :P I’d planned to comment on this when I got back, but I ended up contracting some form of the flu from the deepest circle of hell while I was gone :/ I haven’t had the mental capacity to formulate an even halfway decent comment until now and I'm still not back to 100%. Hopefully the ludicrous amounts of cold medicine I’ve been taking don’t effect the quality of this comment but I make no promises :P The fact that I haven't overdosed by this point is, honestly, a miracle. Anyway, as always with these it’s very interesting to get more backstory and in this case it was particularly interesting since it’s told from Samantha’s POV, which we haven’t seen before. Sam is quite possibly my favorite character so getting to see things from her point of view was a nice change.    

It’s rare we get to see Sam vulnerable. She seems to keep her feelings close to her chest most of the time, so seeing her with her mother in that state definitely hit me hard. I’d love to say I didn’t get teary-eyed while she was faking happiness and changing Michelle’s bandage, but I did. My heart wasn’t prepared for that. It’s one of those moments where you see someone you’re used to always being so strong during a time of immense vulnerability. It hits harder than you expect it to. That’s got to be a terrible thing to have to face and Sam did so as well as anyone could, I imagine. Anyway, you did a great job with that scene and if your intention was to make me cry, congratulations :P You did that with the lyrics at the start, as well. That was a good choice and quite fitting with the theme of the chapter. It also reminded me of sobbing like a little girl in the movie theater when I went to see that movie a few years ago. I’m weak, I know :P   

Knowing the story about 805 and the truth behind his leaving just makes Sam’s observations about him all the more saddening. Based upon what she does know, however, I can scarcely blame her feeling as she does. Just the way the villagers treat her and her family would be enough to justify a great deal of dislike toward him. Those villagers though… ugh. Yeah, just ugh. I liked seeing that when she was younger she was fascinated with him, but that eventually gave way to resentment and likely a multitude of other emotions as well. Still, it’s nice to be able to see how she once felt about him and how far they’ve come since then. They may not have made a lot of progress, but still :P

Ah, Sam, you have the same luck remembering names that I do :P I feel your pain, girl. I feel your pain. But anyway, so from the smallest ember the fire of rebellion begins to burn. It’s also the beginning of such a close friendship, so it’s interesting to see just how much Sam didn’t seem to like Janelle throughout their childhood. It makes sense, I mean they really are two very different people yet they bond over a common goal; to change the world. It’s a crazy plan, sure, but it’s a crazy plan that ends up taking them far even if they don’t know it yet. It’s also quite interesting to learn that Sam knew Amy was Janelle’s daughter from the very beginning. Obviously she knew before Sam told her but I suppose I thought she had just come to the realization over time. 

Anyway, I’ll stop rambling now and let you get on with your day. This chapter is for sure one of my favorites. It was sad in a lot of ways, but it was nice to see things from Sam’s perspective and to see the beginnings of Janelle and Sam’s friendship. And I do love that final line as well. It’s very hopeful, even though in that moment what they’re trying to accomplish seems completely impossible. They have the hope that one day, somehow, they’ll find a way to win. After all, rebellions are built on hope :P Oh, and Happy (Belated) Valentine’s Day! I sincerely hope you were not assaulted by a horse :P That sounds really weird out of context xD

Thanks for the comment! Heh, I’m going to totally pretend like I’ve been paying attention and knew that that rocket launch happened :P I totally knew. I didn’t just find out when you posted that, honest. And I’m sorry to hear you’ve been sick :/ I hope the cold medicine is doing it’s job and you’ll feel a right back to normal soon. Anyway, I was glad to get to post something from Samantha’s POV. She’s practically an unofficial main character at this point, which isn’t a role I ever envisioned her taking when I started this story :P She’s not my favourite character (simply because I don’t have one :P) But she’s the character who’s changed the most since my initial vision. She’s evolved so much beyond what I initially planned for her to be and so I was really glad to get a chance to delve into her past.  

Anyway, I’m glad the scene with Michelle and Samantha was moving, although it kind of grossed me out to write it. I mean, I’ve seen some pretty gross things in my time. I’ve seen a cat with a giant ulcerating squamous cell carcinoma covering practically half his face. But searching Google Images for “woman with untreated breast cancer” scarred me for life xD Anyway, this was easily the hardest time of Samantha’s life so I’m glad her vulnerability shone through. Not only did she had to deal with the death of a loved one, she had to watch her deteriorate over time. She saw her mother become a shadow of her former self without being able to do anything about it, all the while knowing she was probably in great pain. Anyway, I don’t know if you remember me saying this but a long time I told you that I don’t mood-set with music when I’m writing. That’s mostly true, but this is the one exception that I completely forgot to mention back then xD ‘Do you hear the people sing?’ is the song I blast when the rebels (or the Gifts of Earth, in that one chapter) are doing something particularly rebellious :P It’s my favourite song from that musical, and one of my favourite songs in general.

Hey, what do you mean? The villagers are the loveliest gems of people :P Although to be fair, like the rest of us they’re simply believing what their society tells them to believe, so I probably shouldn’t judge them too much. Still, their actions led to a lot of suffering for Samantha and Michelle (and Thomas too, but as a man and a hermit he wasn’t exposed to it nearly as much as they were :P) and as far as Sam’s concerned, her father is to blame for it. She imagines him as a womanising douchebag from another village who seduced her mother and left, getting away free while she and Michelle suffered. Anyway, obviously 805 isn’t really what she imagined he’d be, and although it’s true that he didn’t face any stigma over their relationship (and wouldn’t have, even if everyone knew he had an illegitimate child and the whole Island was totally chill with the whole Gifted/nonGifted relationship thing :P) he certainly suffered in other ways. And I think she does understand that to some extent, but it’s still very difficult for her to let go of that vision she has of him. Long story short, I think things would’ve been a lot easier for her if he’d just turned out to be a total douchebag all along :P

Heheh, I also am terrible at remembering names xD And similarly to Samantha, people always seem to remember mine somehow which makes it that much more awkward :P Anyway, as Samantha hinted at, I don’t think she (or Janelle) would have ever dared to leave if they hadn’t found each other. Their shared goal is what brought them together after so many years and forms the foundation of their friendship. Anyway, despite that Samantha certainly was never very fond of Janelle throughout their childhood, which was mostly her own fault :P Janelle always made an effort to be friendly and inclusive to Samantha, but Samantha never really made any effort to get to know her at all. She just kind of wrote her off as this generic shy girly girl who wasn’t worth getting to know. Heh, for a moment there you confused me with all the talk of Amy xD I was like: “Her daughter? What? Amy’s her mother.” It took me way too long to realise that it was the younger Amy to which you were referring. This is what I get for being lazy and naming characters after each other :P Even if it makes sense in the story for Janelle to name her daughter after her mother, the true motivation behind it was, like many things, my laziness xD Anyway, Happy Valentine’s Day to you too! Somehow, I managed to survive my night with the horses without serious injury :P

It’s my turn this time to apologize for being so late with this :/ I mean I’ve got to be a least… what month is it? I really have no idea how long it’s been, but I think it’s safe to say a long time. I read something the other day that said adulthood is just emailing “I’m sorry for the late reply” back and forth until one of you dies. Based upon my correspondence with most people, this is likely true :P Anyway, I feel like I always begin every comment on this book with something along the lines of “this chapter was particularly interesting because it gives more detail about X character” but it really is true! 571 was a character we spent so little time with, yet had a major impact on me regardless. She’s only around in Cursed for a handful of chapters and we don’t really learn much about her, so yes, it was very interesting to learn more here in this.

I always thought of 571 as someone who truly believed she belonged with the Gifted, even if she disagreed with many of their practices. She’s conflicted. This chapter certainly seems to validate that feeling from beginning to end. She’s clearly deeply affected by what happened to her child, despite the fact that she never wanted the child in the first place. Well, at least that’s what she says. I’m not convinced of that in the slightest. Even when she’s crouched in the bushes, dreading what she’s about to do, she’s still about to do it. All throughout the battle sequence, it’s clear she isn’t happy about what she has to do. It was interesting there at the end with 712 seemingly feeling much like she did. They’d done their duty, but they both might just be forever haunted by it. I wonder how many Gifted feel that way? Many of them certainly seem to be utterly dedicated and quite cavalier when it comes to the wanton murder of rebels, but I’m curious as to how many of them lie awake at night thinking about what they’ve done.

It’s interesting that she makes this valiant commitment to do her duty there at the end and to never make that mistake again. She does, obviously, and it’s a ‘mistake’ that leads to her death. We know she doesn’t hold true to that forever since she’s clearly broken that vow by the time Carey and the gang bump into her. I know she did what she did because of 805, but still she cared about him and went against the Gifted to save him. Whether that’s because she just can’t let go of the child she had, if it’s guilt or just her own conscience telling her to do the right thing I can’t say. Regardless, you did a good job making her seem so conflicted throughout this chapter. There’s so much weighing on her in this chapter and I think you did a good job making that stand out. I also liked that it was Caleb, Marina, and Alice that 571 ran into in the woods instead of just generic rebel #815. It adds an interesting little detail that these characters were connected, however distantly that may have been. Anyway, I feel like this is just a clustered, rambling mess that I’m typing tonight, so I’m going to stop before you tune me out :P But again, this was really interesting as these always are and I can’t wait to see what you do with this next.

Oh, I almost forgot: The Head Councilman bowed his head slightly as 571 and the Servant entered, his bright green eyes lingering on the younger woman for a moment. “Thank you,” he said, reaching out and touching the Servant’s wrist for a brief moment while 571 sat down. “You may return to my rooms. I won’t need you until later.”

That is quite possibly the subtlest yet creepiest paragraph ever written. The implication of what he means is scarcely present, but it’s still clearly there. What the Servants are subjected to is horrific and if there’s any group involved in this that I sincerely hope gets their well earned justice, it’s the Servants. I know I’ve said something similar before, but I feel it bears repeating.  

Thanks for the comment! Heh, well since I am late with this particular reply I will carry on the grand tradition and say I’m sorry for being so late :P Anyway, I’m glad you liked learning more about 571 because her part in Cursed is something I can’t say I’ve ever been very happy with. She originally was a character from my side stories who I was considering adding in at some point, but I had no immediate plans to include her. However, when I was writing those chapters where they were captured in the Council, I realised my original plan for their escape didn’t make much sense and created a lot of plot holes. And so I came up with the plotline involving her. What bothers me about it is because she wasn’t mentioned or featured at all before then (although I did go back and add in some foreshadowing and a very brief appearance so I could pretend like I’d planned it the whole time :P) I’ve always felt her appearance and help comes across as a Dues ex Machina. That’s something I’ve always really disliked when other stories do it, so I disappoints me that I wasn’t able to avoid it :/ Still, getting to use these side stories to expand on her character a little more makes me feel a little better about it, so I’m glad.

Anyway, I usually think of 571 as someone who’s been thoroughly beaten down by everything her life has ever offered her. She does believe that she belongs with the Gifted, but that only makes it worse when she can’t live up to their expectations. She just can’t let go of the child she had and continue with normal life as if nothing happened. And later on, she can’t stop herself from caring about 805 despite the commitments she makes after this chapter to never go against the Gifted ideals again. Anyway, she’s certainly not the only Gifted to feel that way about killing rebels and the Gifted lifestyle in general, which is what I wanted to demonstrate at the end with 712. He up until that point seemed like just another generic Gifted character, but underneath he’s still struggling with the Gifted lifestyle like everyone else. I wouldn’t say there are many Gifted who kill rebels in battle and never give it a second thought. Even if they’re not wracked with guilt or suffering from PTSD, I’m sure almost 100% of soldiers who’ve killed enemies in battle feel some level of remorse or sadness for doing so, and the Gifted are no different. Not to mention when the Gifted are in these kind of situations, they’re in just as much of a “kill or be killed” situation as the rebels themselves.

Anyway, I’m kind of glad (although it feels weird to put it like that) that 4450’s creepiness got through in that paragraph. I’ve always found more subtle things like this to be way scarier than if it were stated outright. When it is stated outright, often I just feel like I’ve been beaten over the head with a stick with their evilness :P Not that I think 4450 is evil, because firstly I don’t believe that truly evil people exist (or at least, they’re very very very rare) and secondly I think labelling people like him as evil ignores the underlying problem with their society that allows them to get away with what they do. Long story short I don’t like him, but I do like the storylines and themes he allows me to delve into. He’s still alive and still Head Councilman in Gifted/Cursed, by the way. In fact, he’ll probably appear in the main storyline in the semi-distant future xD I have quite a bit to get through first, but it’s going to happen at some point.