Sparkatale

Hi, sorry for not reading this before, I didn’t notice it until last week :/ Anyway, I thought this chapter was really good. I can’t say I’m familiar with a lot of zombie series but the summary seems very interesting… Also, I thought it was interesting that even though Rich died from un-zombie causes but then he was still infected anyway… I guess the pathogen must be really dangerous and airborne for that to happen O.o Anyway, overall I’m really interested to see how they will get out of this, and what’s happened to the rest of the world in their absence. It sounds very ominous so far… >.<

 I liked how you managed to introduce these characters so well, especially Alex and Rich. I think you built up the confrontation with him really well – at first, I wasn’t sure what to make of him – I didn’t expect him to die so soon and I thought he’d be part of their “team” or whatever, but at the same time he was pretty creepy… Anyway, even though I was wary of him I didn’t really expect him try and rape her, and then get killed by Sawyer (accidentally, but still ) O.o I think your description of that last scene was really great and scary. I’m a wimp when it comes to horror though xD

"So long as you're not spreading anything else” – This seemed like a strange comment for a brother to make about his sister. I’m not sure why, but even if he was worried about her, it seems odd to word it that way. I couldn’t imagine my big brothers saying things like that to me. But then, they aren’t the protective type at all so who knows what they’d say if they were xD

Thanks for commenting :D Yeah, I just kind of snuck this one on here one day and haven't done much with it since. It's sort of a little side project that I work on when I'm stuck on Snowfall (like I am now :P) and it gives me something different to do. Honestly, I'm not that familiar with zombie stories either other than stuff like The Walking Dead. It's definitely a genre that's been done to death and I'm sure I'm trying to reinvent the wheel, but I want to try to put my own spin on it with the way the pathogen works. That's probably been done before too, but oh well xD You'll find out how they'll get out of it not too long after I do seeing as I have no idea myself :P I'm not planning ahead at all with this. I have no idea where I'm going or what will happen next. I'm writing the whole thing completely in the moment, like I'm there and this stuff is happening and I'm just writing it down. It's both really fun and really terrifying at the same time :P

I'm glad you liked the introductions of the characters. I always feel like introducing characters is one of my weakest areas, so yay xD I do kind of wish I'd kept Rich around a while longer, since I could see him and Sawyer coming into constant conflict over Alex while they're trying to survive. He would have been interesting to have in the group, but unfortunately I liked the idea of Rich being a sort of Patient Zero for the pathogen's spread on the mountain so he had to go. I'm glad you thought the ending was scary. I'm a wimp with horror too and it scared me to write it, so at least I can frighten people who don't do well at horror movies :P  

Lol, the funny thing is my brother has said that to me a couple of times xD It's a long, complicated story :P Alex and Sawyer's relationship is based very much on me and my brother, so that, the nicknames he has for her, and his super protectiveness is all based on us... but then we're really weird so it might be worth rewording that bit, come to think of it since it does seem like an awkward thing to say unless you're around us all the time.

I felt so bad for Alex :( I think her emotions in this chapter were very well done, especially her reaction to the girl outside, and the part where she said she felt like a frightened little girl when she’d always considered herself one of the guys. Awww :( I think she is handling it pretty well, overall, I mean she managed to act quickly and save her father, even if she didn’t know how well it would work. The whole scene of them moving through the camp was really well done too, I was frightened the whole time for them and I’m really glad they managed to make it through to the ranger’s station. I’m not sure how safe they’ll be there but at least it’s a start.

It’s also good they’ve found a way of killing them permanently. Well, hopefully anyway :P Perhaps they will get up after a time, but I doubt it. And they appear to be blind as well, although not deaf. Because of that they remind me of the zombies in High School of the Dead. But that’s the only zombie thing I’ve ever watched, so I have no idea if those are standard zombie traits xD.

I really wonder what’s going on with the rest of the world. I hope they get off the mountain without any further issues so I can find out :P I’m not all that hopeful though… After all, a bus would make a lot of noise, so I’m sure the zombies will notice it and perhaps come after them. Although I suppose they might not stand a chance with a large metal vehicle, but whatever :P I should stop rambling… Overall, this was a good chapter, scary and emotional. I’m really anxious to see what happens next.

Thanks for the comment :) I'm really glad you felt bad for Alex and liked where she is emotionally. She's always been pretty confident in herself, brave and outgoing for the most part. I wanted what's happened so far to break her down until she realizes that she's a fifteen year old girl with absolutely no idea how to survive in this new world and almost no way to protect herself. That basically crushed her confidence. To be completely honest, the crossing the camp scene bugs me but then its an action scene so I've come to expect that I'm never going to be completely happy with my action sequences. I am really happy that you thought it was okay, because I struggled with that scene for a while.  

They have found a way to kill them permanently. They won't be coming back from a head wound like that. I considered holding off on revealing that for a while and let them struggle a bit with ways to stop them, but it would have been pointless and tedious to drag it out I felt, so in it went. The zombies aren't totally blind as they can still see movement and sources of bright light, but otherwise yes, they're blind. If you stood completely still in front of one it wouldn't see you, but since their senses of smell and hearing are vastly increased it could still smell you or hear you. High School of the Dead is one of the many sources I turned to for this (please bear in mind that under no circumstances will Alex fight zombies dressed in those ridiculous outfits, additionally no one will use her boobs to brace a rifle either :P) I'm far from a zombie expert so I had to do some research. I've combined a lot of zombie traits from different places along with a few of my own, probably unoriginal, ideas and went with it.   

I really have no idea how long they'll be on the mountain. Not long, I wouldn't think since there's really only so much I can do in such a limited setting. Now as far as them getting off the mountain without any further issues... what would be the fun in that? :P Zombies could swarm the ranger station, the bus could break down on the way out, or the military could decide to just nuke the entire site from orbit. It is the only way to be sure. Anyway, the choices are endless xD

I liked what Frank and Jack said about fear in this chapter to Alex. Particularly when Jack was comforting her, that was a really sweet moment among the horror. They’re both right about fear, I think it’s definitely important in keeping someone alert and able to react to the situation, but I suppose like everything there’s a balance – if you fear too much then you’re paralysed instead. But so far, I think Alex has faced her fear quite well given the circumstances, even though she probably doesn’t feel that way. She’s doing a better job than I would be doing in that situation, anyway xD I liked her thoughts at the end as well, when they were going to the bus, where she repeated the “this is all a dream” mantra in her head. It seems a very realistic coping mechanism for her to have, even though it’s fruitless since it’s certainly not a dream. Unless you’re just trolling and the story ends with her waking up from a really bad nightmare, but somehow I doubt that will happen xD

Anyway, I liked getting to see a bit more of Frank’s character too. Although what he said to Alex was pretty creepy – I’m going to hope the girl she reminds him of his daughter/sister/niece or something to that effect :P The scene with Lily and Laine at the start was good too. Poor Laine :( Her death was very gut-wrenching. When they first appeared earlier in the chapter I thought one of them might die in the future, but I didn’t think it would happen so soon :/ I feel really sorry for Lily. She’s seen what I presume is her whole family die in front of her and the danger isn’t gone, so… Yeah, I’m curious to see what happens with her.

Your horror writing continues to be really good. I was actually really frightened when they were making their way to the bus >.< Granted, I get scared pretty easily but even so the suspense and gore of it all really got to me, so good job. Anyway, I’m glad they’re off the mountain, at least, although I don’t really expect anything to get much better for them :/ But I’m really curious to see what’s happening with the rest of the world. The broadcast at the end offered a bit of explanation, but even so, it’ll be interesting to see what happens from here.

Yes, Alex has definitely faced her fear far better than I would have. That's one thing that I honestly considered changing. I mean, she's a fifteen year old girl. Most normal fifteen year old girls would be curled up in a corner, crying. I would be and I've got ten years on Alex xD It seems a little unrealistic to me that she's handling it as well as she is, but I thought if I had her behaving like a complete emotional wreck it wouldn't be a very fun read so she ended up handling it a little better. But still, she was definitely paralyzed by fear there on the trip to the bus, so I suppose that's something. Alex's "it's all a dream" mantra isn't going to help her much at all really, but I'm glad it seems a realistic way for her to cope with everything. It all does seem like a bad dream to her at the moment. It's all so insane that she can't believe it's real, but no she's definitely not dreaming. What's happening is very, very real. Oh, but in a totally off topic fun fact on the subject of dreams that I won't remember if I don't mention it now; I once had the idea that nearly all of Snowfall would be a dream :P When Snow gets knocked out at Michael's party right before Sara's murder, I had planned on everything after that to be a dream while Snow's unconscious. Sara wouldn't have died or anything and everything would have gone back to normal. It would have ended with her getting a text from JTG, who's identity was never revealed. It's safe to say I did away with that idea :P Okay, enough of that rambling xD

Hehe, yeah Frank can come off a little strange when he doesn't properly explain himself. Or he could just have a thing for underage girls and got a job at a campground so he can watch them in their swimsuits. I'll leave it up to your imagination for now :P I really felt bad about Lily and Laine. I figured one or both them would die eventually, but I didn't expect to kill one of them in this chapter. Still, I felt I needed a named character that Alex had met to die during the escape for there to be a bit more emotional impact for her. I'm not yet ready to part with any more members of the Masterson family just yet, Frank is too fun to write to kill him so soon, and I felt like I could get more use out of Lily later on that I could Laine so she had to go. It does leave me at an interesting place with Alex and Lily. They're sort of polar opposites of each other. Alex has almost her whole family while Lily is very much alone. Alex is scared and doesn't know how to do much of anything in this new world. Lily on the other hand seemed to want to go out and shoot a bunch of zombies in the face. There's opportunities to explore how they both handle the end of the world as they know it and how their circumstances change them.

I'm happy you think the horror bits are good. This is very much my first attempt at the genre which is a scary thing anyway, and considering its also a genre I'm unfamiliar with do to being such a massive wimp that I can't make it through the simplest of horror movies it's quite reassuring that you find the scary parts... uh... scary :P I'm glad they're off the mountain too, honestly. I was really limited with what I could do in such a confined setting. Now, I can take them anywhere which opens the door to all sorts of possibilities. As for what's going on in the rest of the world, that information (or at least big pieces of it) will be coming quite soon. That broadcast was created very early on before much was known about the pathogen, so yeah it doesn't tell you much. It is interesting though that no one's bothered to update it with new information though, isn't it? That's probably bad :P Thanks for commenting :)

Sorry for taking longer than I said to get to this :/ Anyway, I really liked how you’ve started to expand the story in this chapter, firstly with Alex and the gang meeting people outside of those on the mountain. It was really interesting to hear their story, although sad :( It makes perfect sense that lawlessness has become the new normal with the chaos and end of the old world, but still, it makes me nervous. Firstly, I’m not completely sure we can trust this new group. They seem nice so far and I think Nia is telling the truth when she recounts their story, but still :P And even if Nia’s group turns out to be totally trustworthy, there might be some threat from the outside world. Overall, I just feel like something bad is going to happen soon. Alex’s part of this chapter was too peaceful xD Still, regardless of how worried I am right now it was very interesting to learn a little more about how the pathogen works and what happened with the rest of the world when the outbreak began. It does worry me a little, though - it seems to me there hasn’t been quite enough time yet to rule everyone who was at the lodge out as being infected, since if it arrived at the mountain the previous night it wouldn’t have been a full 24 hours yet. I’m worried that someone will turn unexpectedly and the group will find themselves in grave danger once again. Or maybe I’m just worrying for nothing and they’re all immune as they’re presuming :P

Anyway, I really liked the second part of the chapter as well. I hadn’t expected to see anything about how the rest of the world beyond Alex and Friends was dealing with the outbreak just yet, so that was a nice surprise. I can’t say much about that part of the story yet, since we’ve only got a short sequence or so to go on right now, but so far the characters seem intriguing. I’d say I hope their mission goes well, but… Well, from the sounds of it I don’t imagine they’re going to have all that much success, at least, not without sacrificing a lot of lives in the process. Still, I’ll hold onto hope that there are some survivors holed away somewhere on the island and that they manage to save them.

Hey, thanks for the comment :) Yeah, I really wanted to finally get a look at what’s going on with the rest of the world. The isolation thing can only be carried on so long, so it was time to start getting acquainted with the new world now that the old one is gone. And of course with the end of the old world, as you say, comes lawlessness. I think you’re absolutely right to not trust the new group just yet. This is the end of the world and everyone’s going to be out for themselves, even the good ones. Alex even says a rough equivalent of the last line of the summary and what I consider to be the tagline of this series; the living may be more dangerous than the dead. Between rival groups of survivors, bandits, raiders, rogue factions of the military and who knows what else out there, the zombies may end up being the least of their worries. As for someone in the group being infected… well, it’s certainly possible. Based upon what they think they know, anyone infected should be showing symptoms by this point, but the pathogen doesn’t affect everyone the same way. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

The second part came as a bit of a surprise for me as well :P I’d come to realize that I had a little bit of a problem in that I was writing with a single protagonist. Sure, there are plenty of books that do just that, but this is a rather special case. If the whole story is told through Alex’s eyes, I can’t kill her unless I end the series. And so the mission to retake Manhattan was born. The idea being that Alex could now die and the story could continue. That would just be the end of her part of the story, but we could continue on with the other. Who knows? Maybe I’ll end up introducing other POV characters in different places and their stories will come and go. At this point, I really don’t know :P As it stands, Alex may never learn about what SCAR Division is doing in New York and vice versa. And as for their mission, well no, they probably aren’t going to be all that successful without paying a very high price for it. This island is a nightmare without zombies and the utter collapse of law and order xD Still, I think it’s safe to say that at least some people have survived for SCAR Division to find. One of those people who we’ll be meeting soon, was actually written by my girlfriend. But we’ll get to that next time :)