Sparkatale

Interesting...very interesting indeed. 
Your story, first of all, is good. This is just the pilot chapter, so there's not too much information to gleam from here, but you can already tell that Nick and Dan are seasoned veterans of going to that particular summer camp, and it's clear throughout the entire chapter as Nick helps some newcomers out with what to do and where to go.

It took me quite a while to deduce that 'Taylor' was actually a boy, because in your book description you made references to a boy who could be a girl, I had assumed she was going to be the main character. Of course, that's nothing big, but I would like to talk about the way your chapter was displayed here. Basically, it was an unbroken wall of text, and although I got through to the end of the chapter just fine, I had to will myself to keep reading what felt like a mountain. (Nothing to do with your writing, but presentation-wise, you need to add spaces between paragraphs to allow readers to mentally breathe.)

Also, in relation to the blog comments you had written inside your chapter, you should start a new line with every blog entry, preferably in bold to let readers know that it's not someone speaking but writing seen on a phone or computer. I know I must come across as a Nazi for saying that, but it will definitely look smarter and readers will take note of that. 

You should also start a new line whenever someone new is speaking, otherwise it may get confusing. When someone is thinking to themselves, use italics so people are aware of that, otherwise they may interpret that as someone speaking out loud, which again could be confusing. 

Other than that, however, your story holds promise, with plenty of opportunities for mystery and fun pretty clear by the end of the chapter. I'm looking forward to see if 'Strawberry' had in fact traveled to the same summer camp as Dan and Nick, so keep updating! - I'll add an actual review when there are enough chapters up!