Status: In Progress
Summary:
Created: July 29, 2014 | Updated: July 29, 2014
Genre : Fantasy
Language : English
Reviews: 0 | Rating:
Favorites: 0
Reads: 707
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1: | Chapter One: In My Heart | 684 |
2: | Chapter Two: Mortal? I wish. | 660 |
Total Wordcount: | 1344 |
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Comments / Critiques
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Chapter: 1 Reply
I love your first person narrative style and your character already, and the parental and heritage dispute fits perfectly together - though I too haven't read any genre's similar to what you written. Still I plan on reading more after.
The only issue I had with this chapter so far is some of the sentences sound a little weird like "the said archangel mother of mine". I already understood you meant the person you mentioned in the sentence above this one, but you could have worded better. There were other instances similar to that partial fragment but I also suffer the same issue - you just got to edit it a little more.
Everything else however is fine, and I hope to enjoy the next chapter just as much.
P.S - thanks for the comment you gave.
August 1, 2014 | Just BI-You