Sparkatale

I like that you have Jayce narrating this time. It's a fun switch up. Also your descriptions and details are much, much better in these two chapters. Your summary of the last book was very good and thorough and the second chapter left me smiling. Looks like Simon might be out of the picture at least for now :)

Thank you! I'm really hoping to improve with this book. (:

I can tell you already that there is a huge difference between this one and the last. And again, I don't want that to make it seem like the last one was bad. The story was really good, but just had a few things to flesh out a bit more. This one, though, has already really shown your skills and kept true to the way you tell your stories. You really are good at keeping the story flowing without it getting bogged down in tiny little facts (something I'm horrible at). So keep it up. I'll be looking for the next chapter :)

This was probably the best update you've had yet. Only one little thing in the first paragraph when he's talking about her thoughts being silent, feels like you missed a word, but otherwise really good. I'm really looking forward to seeing where this goes.