Status: In Progress
Summary:
A tale of forgotten Greek mythological beings. Emma Parker is an average junior until two new kids enter the school halfway through the year. Aidan and Jesse are mysterious and intriguing and Emma knows they're hiding something...But what is it?
Created: August 13, 2013 | Updated: September 7, 2013
Genre : Mythology
Language : English
Reviews: 0 | Rating:
Favorites: 1
Reads: 1923
Share this:
| 1: | Prologue/Chapter One | 3106 |
| 2: | Chapter Two | 2664 |
| 3: | Chapter Three | 3525 |
| Total Wordcount: | 9295 |
Reviews (0)
Comments / Critiques
-
Reply
I really liked this story. Aiden and Jesse are straight up babes while Emma is that perfect mix of adorable and sassy. Good characters with this one and really good writing. Hope that you continue to update.August 24, 2013 | D.M. Gergen
-
Reply
Yea, chapter two!! I don't know what it is, but I'm kinda rooting for Jesse. Don't get me wrong, Aidan is all sorts of yumminess, but there is that bad boy thing which I'm sure will have a nice past to back it up. One thing I will say in way of a critique is that prior to the audition scene some of the classroom interactions felt a little flat. I think a nice way to spice it up would be to use Aidan's entrance with Jules as an opportunity to give us a little more of a reaction from Emma. Like the sort of 'their eyes met, hearts thumping, pulses racing, blushes building, etc, etc' descriptions. I think something along those lines would add a bit more to the front of the chapter and give your readers yet another opportunity to build-up some sort of opinion on the boys.August 25, 2013 | D.M. Gergen
-
Reply
You have such great comments! The point of Jesse is to create a different "team" (forgive my Twilight cliché) and I really like your suggestion about the whole entrance thing. :)August 25, 2013 | Terryn Lewis
-
Chapter: 1 Reply
I just reread this and it is a LOT better than I remember. Maybe you didn't change it, but I don't remember this amount of detail the first time you wrote. Either way (whether you edited or I just was in some sort of weird coma when last reading it) this remains one of my guilty pleasures on this site.September 4, 2013 | D.M. Gergen
-
-
Chapter: 2 Reply
The little edits were good. But I will go all fangirl on you right now and say that the only thing that would make this lovely saturday better would be chapter 3 :) Hope you have some time to post soon.September 7, 2013 | D.M. Gergen
-
Chapter: 3 Reply
Well that was faster than I expected! I am getting really interested in the whole dream idea and what she's seeing. I'm also really interested in exactly who Jesse and Aiden are. Just like my last comments, the only real improvement I could see is just a little more detail overall, but otherwise this was a very fun read.September 7, 2013 | D.M. Gergen
-
Reply
Thank you! I had thought that I had already posted it, so it was already on the site. Could explain what parts need more detail?September 7, 2013 | Terryn Lewis
-
Reply
There was no part that was unclear if that's what your asking. But as a reader I would love a little more detail when she's interacting with the boys. I know that there's more to this story than the romance aspect, but Jesse and Aiden are great characters and Emma is very strong. So I would love a little more detail around when their interacting. Not overdone, but some more description here or there would help with the relationship building and feeds my love of this story.September 7, 2013 | D.M. Gergen