Beep. Beep. Beep. Bee- I turned off my alarm clock. It was time to get up to go to school. After about five minutes, I finally threw the blanket off me and got up.

I walked into the bathroom and took a shower. I then got dressed, brushed my teeth and put on some make-up. Then I rushed into my room, grabbed my bag and went into the dining room. I grabbed my Nutella bread and rushed out the door.

Every morning. Every morning is the same. Welcome to my world.

After my mum parked the car in the school parking lot, I kissed her cheek, got out of the car along with Shane and waved goodbye.

My mum and I are kind of like best friends. We laugh, hang out and talk just like best friends would. But she is still my mother. I respect her a lot and I love her so much. She’s my idol. A lot of people say we look quite alike. My mum has mid-back brown hair with blond highlights. She isn’t very tall, 1.63 meters. I’m 1.70 meters tall. Our green eyes match. Though my mum says I have the mouth and eye part from my father’s side.

My father… I haven’t talked to or seen him in ages. My parents divorced a few years ago and he then married my now step-mother. I hate her. She hates me. But I don’t give a damn about her. Anyways, overnight, the two of them left. I don’t know where they went –maybe back to Iran where she comes from- and I honestly don’t care. I have my mum and my brother.

My brother, Shane. I love him very much too. He’s two years younger than me. I’m fifteen and he’s thirteen. But he’s very mature and a lot of people think he’s older than he actually is. He has beautiful blue eyes and short brown hair. We used to have the same hair color, but I have started coloring my hair a year and a half ago. It’s now a brown-reddish color. We always goof around and have a lot of fun together, though we also fight quite a bit. But I guess that’s normal.

Shane and I finally arrived in front of the school. I went over to my friends and greeted them. We all hugged. I won’t say I’m popular but I have quite a lot of friends. Everybody appreciates me. Everyone stands up for me – well most of the people do. It was 7:45am which meant classes started in fifteen minutes.

As we were talking about random stuff, someone suddenly came up behind and covered my eyes with their hands.

“Who dared to put their hands on my glasses and dirty them?” I asked giggling.

The person took his hands away and I turned around. There he stood, my boyfriend: Blake.

We hugged and shared a little kiss. Then we went back to chatting with our friends. Today was Friday, so that meant that tomorrow was the week-end! We were all so glad the week was over. Then the bell rang. And we all headed to our different classes.

The morning went on normally. Boring classes. I think the worst was math. I’m not good at math and it’s my least favorite subject – along with science and physics.

Eventually, lunch time came. My best friend Hayley and I went to stand in line, waiting for it to be our turn to get our food. When we finally had our food, we went and sat at the same table as Blake and his friends. We ate our food while chatting, joking around and having fun. 

Hayley and I then headed outside and strolled around the schoolyard, talking. 

"So how is it going with Blake?" she asked with a grin on her face.

"It's going great. He's so sweet," I told her, blushing.

"How long have you two been together now?" 

"In eight days it'll be six months," I smiled at her.

The bell rang and we groaned. Slowly we headed back inside the building to resume classes.

The rest of the day went on normally. I hung out with my friends and tried to survive another day of school in 10th grade. Luckily, today I didn't finish too late. As the bell rang signaling the end of the day, I packed my bags and headed out of the school. I said goodbye to Hayley and headed to the train station along with Blake.

Blake is taller than I am. I’d say he’s about 1.83 meters tall. He has short brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. As we were walking, I slid my hand into his. He looked at me in a loving way and our fingers intertwined.

We have been a couple for six months now. I have had a crush on him since the beginning of 9th grade and it turned out that he liked me too. We started dating mid-May. It will be our six month anniversary in eight days, on November 9th.

Soon we arrived at the train station. We shared a hug, kissed and then he took the train while I jumped into the bus. After about half an hour I arrived home. I set my bag down in my room and lay down on my bed for five minutes. I thought about everything that happened in my life: my parents’ divorce, my Dad marrying my step-mother, them disappearing to who knows where… But also my Mum, Shane and I always having each other's backs, Hayley and I having a good laugh, and Blake.

I really like Blake. I think I might even be… in love. He has such a sweet personality, and he was always there for me as I was crying my eyes out because of my dad and step-mother. I know that I can always go to him if something is not okay, if I’m feeling sad or if I just need somebody – who isn’t my Mum or Shane - to talk too. Yeah, I’m in love with him.

My train of thought was interrupted as I heard the front door open and my Mum came in.

“Hi!” I exclaimed from my room.

“Hey honey! How was school?” she asked, coming to stand at the entrance of the room.

“It was good, as usual. I got 16/20 in math!” I exclaimed happily.

“That’s great honey!” I stood up and hugged her.

“So where’s Shane?” she asked me.

“He went over to his friend’s house. He asked if you could pick him up,” I told her.

“Alright, but do you know where he lives?”

“Shane gave me the address, don’t worry.”

About an hour later, we headed to the car to pick up Shane. During the trip in the car, mum and I put the radio on and every time a song that we loved came on, we sang along, acting like children almost. But hey, we were having fun.

After picking up Shane from his friend’s house, we drove back home and again we were singing along to songs we loved. When “Talk dirty” by Jason Derulo came on, we started laughing and singing along.

“I’m that flight that you get on, international,

First class seat on my lap girl, riding comfortable,” We sang along. When the chorus came on, we went crazy.

“Been around the world, don’t speak the language,

But your booty don’t need explaining,

All I really need to understand is

When you talk dirty to me

Talk dirty to me

Talk dir-“

CRASH!

A car just came out of nowhere and bumped into our car! Luckily my Mum could get the car back straight onto the road again. But the car beside crashed into the side of the vehicle again, and again, and again, until my Mum lost control of the car and we came crashing down the slope. The car turned over a few times.

Some people say that before you die, your life flashes in front of your eyes. Well it happened to me, sort of. I saw all the people I love: Mum, Shane, Blake, my friends…

Then everything went black…

 

2: A memory

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Where am I? What’s that beeping sound? It almost sounds like a heart monitor. It feels as if something is keeping me from breathing correctly. My whole body hurts. My eyes are too heavy, I can’t open them. I can feel something –or someone- holding my hand. I can hear voices. They are getting clearer and clearer…

My eyes slowly fluttered open, but I quickly closed them again. It was very bright. When my eyes finally adjusted to the light, I looked around. I was in a white room, in a white bed. There were machines beeping all around me, wires in my arms, a breathing mask on my face. What’s going on?!  I started to panic and to hyperventilate. The beeping sounds from the machines were getting louder.

“Shh, Aishling? It’s okay,” I heard someone say.

I finally looked at the person whose hand was holding mine and I saw Blake.

“Blake?” My voice was shaking and weak.

“Hey,” he whispered softly. “How are you?” he asked while stroking my hand and pressing a button on a machine next to my bed to call the nurse.

“Wh-What happened?” I coughed.

At that exact moment, a nurse came into the room, followed by a doctor. “I’m sorry Sir, but you will have to leave the room,” the nurse told Blake. He nodded, looked at me and smiled softly. He let go of my hand and left the room. The nurse came over to me and took the breathing mask off of me. She had blonde hair tied into a messy bun and blue eyes. I caught a quick glimpse at her nametag which read Annabelle.

“What happened?” I asked them.

The nurse, Annabelle, looked at me, with a concerned look on her face. “Miss, you had a car accident.”

Suddenly, images of the accident flashed in front of my eyes. Us singing, the car hitting us, me screaming as we rolled down the slope… Mum! Shane! Were they okay?!

“My mum and Shane! Where are they?!” I asked the Annabelle, worry growing inside of me.

“I’m sorry Miss,” she looked down, “They didn’t make it.”

“No… NO!” I yelled, tears spilling out of my eyes. I pulled my knees up to my chest and started sobbing hysterically into my arms. No, they can’t be dead, they just can’t! I suddenly felt a pair of strong yet gentle arms wrap around me. I recognized this embrace immediately. Blake had often soothed me this exact way: by putting his arms around my waist, softly pushing my head onto his chest and whispering soothing, calming words to me while he stroked my hair lovingly. He often had to comfort me when my dad had left. He was always very good at comforting me, and soon, with his heartbeat as my lullaby, I fell asleep in his arms, feeling safe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I woke up, the sun was already starting to set. I must have been asleep for a few hours, since the sun had been quite high in the sky when I first woke up.

I looked around the room and found the only person I wanted to see right now, fast asleep on a chair beside my bed, with his hand holding mine. I smiled at the view. Blake was so cute when he slept.

Suddenly, a violent pain coming from my chest interrupted my thoughts. I immediately pulled my hand away from Blake’s and held my chest tightly, trying to subdue the pain a little bit. I started breathing heavily and groaning. Blake woke up after I pulled my hand away from his. When he saw me breathing heavily and holding my chest in pain, he ran out of the room to get a nurse. No ten seconds later did a nurse come rushing in. She came over to me, looked at some wires that were attached to me. To be more specific, she was checking the drip linked to my arm.

“She needs more painkillers,” she explained Blake quietly. “It’s nothing serious.”

Blake sighed in relief. As the nurse added the painkillers, I slowly started to feel better. A little drowsy, but better.

“So know that everything is better, I will get the doctor,” with that, the nurse left, looking for my doctor.

“How are you feeling, honey?” Blake asked. “You sure gave me a fright.”

“I’m feeling better but I’m a little tired. Sorry for scaring you,” I looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

“I’m happy you’re better now, Aishling,” he smiled.

“Ah Aishling! It’s nice to see that you are finally up. I’m Dr. Martins,” the doctor came in, smiling. She had brown, wavy hair attached into a high ponytail. She had a clipboard in her hand and she looked friendly.

“What happened?” I asked hoping for a clear answer.

“Well, you had a car accident. You broke your right arm and right leg, you cracked some of your ribs and you had a severe concussion. You were in a coma ever since,” she explained.

“Wait… I was in a coma? How long?” I asked her.

“Six days,” she answered, checking on her clipboard.

“Six days?! Really?” I couldn’t believe that I had been out for that long.

“Yes. And your boyfriend here was really supporting. He has been here since you were admitted to the hospital,” she smiled at Blake and me.

“Really? Aw Blake, you’re so sweet.”

“So, I’ll get going then. If you need anything just press the button here,” she pointed at some sort of remote, with a big red button in the center, “and someone will come immediately. Otherwise I’ll see you tomorrow,” she smiled and left the room.

“You actually spent all the time here?” I asked, as I slid my hand into his. He smiled softly as he wrapped his fingers around it.

“Yeah. I slept here the first night but when they said that you were in a coma, I got really worried. They wouldn’t let me spend the night here then, so I came during the visiting hours and stayed as long as possible with you. They literately had to pull me away from you so that I’d leave,” he chuckled. We stayed silent for a moment.

“Blake? It’s not true that Mum and Shane are dead… right?” I looked at him with tearful eyes.

“Aishling… I’m so sorry,” he said as he embraced me gently. I lay my head onto his chest and let the tears flow freely.

“What am I going to do? Where will I live? How… How am I going to continue? They can’t be dead, they just can’t!” I sobbed into his chest. He rubbed my back soothingly.

“We’ll find a way Aishling. Shhh… It will be okay, don’t worry. I’m here for you, honey. Shhh,” he tried to calm me down.

He just held me. He held me lovingly while I let all the tears fall. He rubbed my back and talked to me soothingly. I listened to his deep, soft voice and his heartbeat, trying to calm myself down.

It took me about an hour, but I eventually started to calm down. My sobs started to soften and my tears slowly lessened. Blake felt that, so he pulled away a bit and wiped away the remaining tears. He smiled at me softly and kissed my forehead. Just the way Mum used to do it…

Tears sprung back into my eyes and a sob escaped my lips. I buried my face back into his chest and Blake had to start soothing me again. But he didn’t seem to bother. He had always been very loving; I knew I could count on him. This brought a little smile to my lips. Thinking back to how everything started between us…

[Flashback]

Blake had just asked me out a week ago. Today was Saturday and we had our first date. I took ages to choose what I would wear. In the end, I chose a white summer dress with pink flowers on it. It didn’t look too fancy nor too casual. I wore a white cardigan and dark pink ballerinas with it. I put on some light make-up.

As I was just grabbing everything I had to put into my purse, the doorbell rang. Mum opened the door. We live in an apartment on the third floor. So we had to open the door downstairs and then the front door of the apartment. As the bell of the front door rang, I grabbed my purse, took a last look in the mirror and went into the hallway. Mum and Blake were chatting, probably waiting for me.

When Blake then saw me, his face lit up. He came over to me and hugged me.

“You look amazing, Aishling!” I blushed. He then held his arm out and asked, “Are you ready for our date?”

I took his arm and smiled, “Yes.”

He guided me out of the door, but not before I said goodbye to my mum. We went outside the building and walked to the park that was near my flat. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the birds were singing. It was about 7:20pm when we reached a little meadow. In the middle of it was a little picnic blanket with some food and drinks.

“Wow… did you do that?” I inquired, mesmerized by the beautiful and romantic view in front of us. The picnic blanket was laid on top of a tiny hill with a beautiful view of the lake and sun slowly setting over it.

“Well… I did get a little bit of help from the  guys…” he laughed nervously.

“Well you can tell them that they did a great job,” and with that I grabbed his hand and we went over to sit down. Blake had prepared a few snacks: sandwiches, some salad, coleslaw (my absolute favorite), and for dessert there were strawberries with chocolate! “Blake! I love strawberries and chocolate! Thank you so much,” I kissed him on the cheek. He blushed slightly.

“So are you hungry?” he asked while passing me a sandwich.

“Yeah, thanks.”

We ate the snacks with the sun nearing the horizon more every minute. As I wanted to grab a strawberry, Blake pushed my hand away gently. I looked at him, confusion written all over my face. He pointed towards the lake and I saw that the sun was setting. We had already put the dishes away except for the strawberries so we got comfortable. I was leaning against his chest while he had his arms wrapped around me. We looked at the sunset, in a comfortable silence.

Blake then moved his arm and grabbed a strawberry which he dipped into the chocolate and then held in front of my mouth. I understood what he wanted to do and let him feed me. I also fed him a few strawberries. Then we sat there, looking at the sun finally setting.

“Isn’t this beautiful?” I asked him, captivated by the beautiful sight in front of us.

“Not as beautiful as you,” he whispered. I looked at him and our faces started to inch closer and closer. I closed my eyes and we shared our first kiss. It was the first time I ever kissed a boy which made it even more magical. After we parted, we finished watching the sun set, embracing each other.

Later, he brought me home and we shared one last kiss before parting ways for the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It felt as if it was only yesterday. I soon fell asleep in Blake’s arms, thinking of that memory we shared together.

3: Visitors

I woke up with the sun hitting my face. I slowly opened my eyes and my surroundings became clearer by the second. I looked around but I didn’t recognize the room I was in. There were fewer machines than in the other room. It looked a lot more like a room than the other one. I saw an empty chair beside me with a coat hanging on the back of it.

Suddenly the door opened. Blake came in followed closely by someone else. When Blake saw I was awake, he smiled. He was holding a tray in his hands. He set it down on the small night table to my left. On the tray were three drinks, three croissants and a few different sorts of fruit. That’s when I finally got a look at the other person. I recognized her immediately and tears of joy sprung to my eyes.

“Helen!” I squealed and threw my arms around her. But I quickly regretted it. An unbearable pain shot through my entire body. My muscles tensed up and I groaned. Helen felt that so she gently lay me back down, careful as not to hurt me more. I glanced up at her and smiled gratefully.

Helen’s my god-mother. She was in her early fifties. She had brown, shoulder-length hair with blonde highlights. She had green eyes and fair skin. Helen and Mum were best friends since a young age and I used to see Helen and her family every summer. But we hadn’t seen each other in quite a few years… probably four or five. Mum needed to work and we didn’t have that much money, so our trips had lessened. Helen has been married to Ethan for a long time. They had two children together: Felix and Gabriel. Felix was the oldest with 21 years. Gabriel was two years younger, so 19 years old. I hadn’t seen them in so long…

“How are doing sweetheart?” she asked me as she wiped a tear from my cheek lovingly.

“I’ve been better… Have you heard about… Mum and Shane?” my voice broke and more tears rolled down my cheeks. She looked at me in a heartbroken way and took me into her arms, rubbing my back and comforting me.

“Yes, I did honey. I’m so sorry,” she answered me softly. I stayed in her embrace for a few more minutes before I felt another pair of arms around me: Blake. The tears soon became fewer. They both let me go and looked at me with loving smiles. I smiled softly.

“Do you want breakfast? We brought some hot chocolate… that might be cold chocolate now...” Blake looked at the cups sitting on the tray. He stood up, took the tray and carried it over to the door. Before walking out, he said that he’d go and warm them up in the microwave and that he’d be back soon.

As the door closed with a little ‘click’, Helen turned to me and smiled, “He is really sweet isn’t he?”

I blushed and started fiddling with my hands, “Yeah, he’s really the best. He’s so nice and kind. He supports me, even in times as hard as right now, which I’m really grateful for. Whenever I see him, my heart skips a beat and a smile appears on my face. But most importantly, he makes me feel loved,” I looked up at Helen with a bright smile and blushed an even deeper shade of red when I saw Blake standing beside her. He had come back because he had forgotten but I hadn’t heard him coming in.  

“Aw Aishling, honey. I didn’t know I had that effect on you,” he sat on the side of the bed and took my hand into his. “And you must know that you always light up my day and whenever you’re happy, I’m happy,” he leaned down and kissed my lips softly.

“I love you, Blake.”

“I love you too, sweetie.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours had passed and Helen and Blake had left about an hour ago. They were going to come by again in the evening so I had the entire afternoon for myself.

I enjoyed a little bit of alone time. I learned from Blake that I had been moved from the intensive care unit to the normal part of the hospital, which meant that I was getting better. I must have been in hospital for a week now and I’m slowly growing tired of it. But not everything is bad here –except for the food. The staff was really nice, though because I was moved to another part of the hospital, the staff wasn’t the same. Luckily,  they are very nice too, which makes the stay here more enjoyable.

I had been listening to music and reading a book that Blake brought me for probably over an hour already so I was growing kind of tired. I put my book onto the night table and put away my phone and earphones. I lay down and closed my eyes to get some rest before Helen and Blake came back.

But suddenly, images of the accident came into my mind, the car, Mum, Shane… My eyes flew open and I was panting heavily. I looked around and I was still in my room. My eyes started to fill with water and a few hot, salty tears came rushing down my face. I grabbed my phone, put the earphones on and played some of my favorite music. I cried for a little while, lying down in my bed, curled up slightly. Slowly, I started to feel drowsy and I drifted off to sleep with the music being my soft lullaby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I woke up, the sun outside had already set, the stars where all out. A small light illuminated my room. I turned over in bed to see who was sitting and chatting at the table. I saw five figures, but I couldn’t quite make them out because the light was too bright.

The shuffling sound the sheets made when I turned over didn’t go unnoticed. Soon the five shadows had gathered around my bed and I could make them out better: there were Helen, Blake and three other men, smiling down at me. I recognized them quite quickly, even after not having seen them in a long time. Luckily, Facebook kept me updated.

“Hey there, Aishling,” Felix, the eldest son, said. He had chestnut brown hair, dark eyes and a three-day stubble. He was quite handsome.

“Hey you guys,” I smiled up at them, tears of joy were stinging my eyes, but I tried to blink them back. “How have you been?”

“The question should actually be: how have you been?” Gabriel asked. He took a seat on the side of the bed and took my hand gently. He wiped away a small tear that leaked out of my eye, “I know I’m very handsome but I didn’t know it would make you cry.”

I laughed slightly and he hugged me. Gabriel was, just like his brother, quite handsome. He had short, dark brown –nearly black- hair. He had a little bit of a three-day stubble too.

“What are you guys doing here?” I inquired after they all greeted me.

“Visiting you, duh,” I rolled my eyes in a playful way as Felix emphasized on the ‘duh’. “We came here to make sure you’re alright. And,” he came over to and whispered in my ear – though everyone in the room could hear him, “we also had to make sure that your boyfriend is a good guy.”

I blushed a deep shade of red and glanced over to Blake who was also blushing lightly. “Felix!” Helen lightly slapped her son’s arm. “Blake is a very nice, loving young man. See how embarrassed they both look now,” she gestured over to us. Blake seemed even more uncomfortable now.

“I’m sorry, you guys… But you should have seen your faces!” Felix started laughing and was soon followed by everyone else in the room – including Blake and myself.

We chatted a little more before Helen’s family, the Winters, decided to head out and get us all something to eat, considering it was slowly nearing 8pm and everyone was starting to get hungry.

After they left, Blake and I were left alone. Suddenly, I remembered something.

“Wait a minute… what day is today?”

“Today’s Friday, the… I think it’s the 8^th of November today. Why?”

“Oh my god! It’s our anniversary tomorrow!”

Blake looked over to me and smiled. “I know it is. But honestly, every day with you is special. It doesn’t have to be our anniversary for me to be really happy about this relationship.”

“You know, I think that’s the cutest thing you’ve ever said.”

He leaned in and kissed my lips softly. I returned the kiss. As we parted, we looked into each other’s eyes and our foreheads touched. We stayed like that, enjoying each other’s company. Suddenly, a loud ringtone erupted through the silence of the room. We both jumped, startled by the noise. Blake got his phone out and took the call.

“Hey Mum, what’s up?” he asked casually. “I’ll leave in a little while, in around an hour or so… Yes, she’s doing better… Yes I have my keys… Don’t worry, I’ll be quiet… Yes, I will, alright, see you soon… I love you too, Mum. Good night,” and with that he hung up.

“What did your mum want?” I asked him after he put his phone back in his pocket.

“She wanted to know when I was coming home because she’s going to bed soon so she won’t be able to open the door for me. She also says hello and was wondering how you were doing.”

Blake’s mum and I were pretty close. She was a very nice, warm-hearted woman. She’d always invite me for dinner or for sleeping over. Blake’s father on the other hand… I’ve never met him but I heard a lot of stories from Blake. He was a cold man, who didn’t even take care of his own son and one day, he just abandoned his son and wife for a 25 year old model. Blake was only around seven when that happened. He told me it was a very hard time for his family and that his mum took a long time to get over it.

“Thank you, say hi back from me. How is she?” I haven’t been to Blake’s house in quite a few weeks now, with schoolwork and everything, our free time was kind of cut short. We planned on having a sleepover in a couple of weeks. That probably would change though, due to our – or should I say my - situation right now.

“I will and she’s okay. Kind of tired with work and all, but she’s happy. She can’t wait to see you again.”

I smiled. The door then opened and the Winters came in with a few plastic bags. They were followed by a delicious smell.

“We got Chinese. I hope that fits everyone,” Ethan told us while he unpacked the food and passed it around.

We sat there for another hour, eating, talking and laughing. We had a great time. As it was time for them to leave, it was already after 9pm.

After they left, I turned off the light and let sleep overtake me.