Sparkatale

The writing was quite good in this piece and it's clear the author has a strong voice. My only problem was that it really was too vague for my tastes. It might work better as a poem rather than a short story, in my opinion, since the reader really never gets an idea of where it takes place, who the people are, or what's even happening. At first it almost sounded like a school where a child was being bullied, then maybe a weird wilderness thing, finally I don't even know what. Perhaps that's the beauty of this that you can't tell what's happening and can decide for yourself, but I would have preferred maybe a little bit more than what the author gave.

Are you making another chapter? If you aren't too bad. I really loved this. It sucked me in the moment In read the first two sentences, which is hard to do to me. It's got an interesting mysteriousness to it. Who are the mystical "them"? Are they human, or something else. But it wasn't a bad mystery, like one that if it wasn't answered it would haunt you for weeks, but it's more of a lovely mystery. Like, I don't entirely care if I find out what they are, but who they are. If you know what I mean...I'm confusing...